'My dear Gilbert, I wish you would try to be a little more amiable,' said my mother one morning after some display of unjustifiable ill-humour on my part. 'You say there is nothing the matter with you, and nothing has happened to grieve you, and yet I never saw anyone so altered as you within these last few days. You haven't a good word for anybody - friends and strangers, equals and inferiors - it's all the same. I do wish you'd try to check it.'
'Check what?'
'Why, your strange temper. You don't know how it spoils you. I'm sure a finer disposition1 than yours by nature could not be, if you'd let it have fair play: so you've no excuse that way.'
While she thus remonstrated2, I took up a book, and laying it open on the table before me, pretended to be deeply absorbed in its perusal3, for I was equally unable to justify4 myself and unwilling5 to acknowledge my errors; and I wished to have nothing to say on the matter. But my excellent parent went on lecturing, and then came to coaxing6, and began to stroke my hair; and I was getting to feel quite a good boy, but my mischievous7 brother, who was idling about the room, revived my corruption8 by suddenly calling out, - 'Don't touch him, mother! he'll bite! He's a very tiger in human form. I've given him up for my part - fairly disowned him - cast him off, root and branch. It's as much as my life is worth to come within six yards of him. The other day he nearly fractured my skull9 for singing a pretty, inoffensive love-song, on purpose to amuse him.'
'Oh, Gilbert! how could you?' exclaimed my mother.
'I told you to hold your noise first, you know, Fergus,' said I.
'Yes, but when I assured you it was no trouble and went on with the next verse, thinking you might like it better, you clutched me by the shoulder and dashed me away, right against the wall there, with such force that I thought I had bitten my tongue in two, and expected to see the place plastered with my brains; and when I put my hand to my head, and found my skull not broken, I thought it was a miracle, and no mistake. But, poor fellow!' added he, with a sentimental10 sigh - 'his heart's broken - that's the truth of it - and his head's - '
'Will you be silent NOW?' cried I, starting up, and eyeing the fellow so fiercely that my mother, thinking I meant to inflict11 some grievous bodily injury, laid her hand on my arm, and besought12 me to let him alone, and he walked leisurely13 out, with his hands in his pockets, singing provokingly - 'Shall I, because a woman's fair,' &c.
'I'm not going to defile14 my fingers with him,' said I, in answer to the maternal15 intercession. 'I wouldn't touch him with the tongs16.'
I now recollected17 that I had business with Robert Wilson, concerning the purchase of a certain field adjoining my farm - a business I had been putting off from day to day; for I had no interest in anything now; and besides, I was misanthropically18 inclined, and, moreover, had a particular objection to meeting Jane Wilson or her mother; for though I had too good reason, now, to credit their reports concerning Mrs. Graham, I did not like them a bit the better for it - or Eliza Millward either - and the thought of meeting them was the more repugnant to me that I could not, now, defy their seeming calumnies19 and triumph in my own convictions as before. But to-day I determined20 to make an effort to return to my duty. Though I found no pleasure in it, it would be less irksome than idleness - at all events it would be more profitable. If life promised no enjoyment21 within my vocation22, at least it offered no allurements23 out of it; and henceforth I would put my shoulder to the wheel and toil24 away, like any poor drudge25 of a cart-horse that was fairly broken in to its labour, and plod26 through life, not wholly useless if not agreeable, and uncomplaining if not contented27 with my lot.
Thus resolving, with a kind of sullen28 resignation, if such a term may be allowed, I wended my way to Ryecote Farm, scarcely expecting to find its owner within at this time of day, but hoping to learn in what part of the premises29 he was most likely to be found.
Absent he was, but expected home in a few minutes; and I was desired to step into the parlour and wait. Mrs. Wilson was busy in the kitchen, but the room was not empty; and I scarcely checked an involuntary recoil30 as I entered it; for there sat Miss Wilson chattering31 with Eliza Millward. However, I determined to be cool and civil. Eliza seemed to have made the same resolution on her part. We had not met since the evening of the tea-party; but there was no visible emotion either of pleasure or pain, no attempt at pathos32, no display of injured pride: she was cool in temper, civil in demeanour. There was even an ease and cheerfulness about her air and manner that I made no pretension33 to; but there was a depth of malice34 in her too expressive35 eye that plainly told me I was not forgiven; for, though she no longer hoped to win me to herself, she still hated her rival, and evidently delighted to wreak36 her spite on me. On the other hand, Miss Wilson was as affable and courteous37 as heart could wish, and though I was in no very conversable humour myself, the two ladies between them managed to keep up a pretty continuous fire of small talk. But Eliza took advantage of the first convenient pause to ask if I had lately seen Mrs. Graham, in a tone of merely casual inquiry38, but with a sidelong glance - intended to be playfully mischievous - really, brimful and running over with malice.
'Not lately,' I replied, in a careless tone, but sternly repelling40 her odious41 glances with my eyes; for I was vexed42 to feel the colour mounting to my forehead, despite my strenuous43 efforts to appear unmoved.
'What! are you beginning to tire already? I thought so noble a creature would have power to attach you for a year at least!'
'I would rather not speak of her now.'
'Ah! then you are convinced, at last, of your mistake - you have at length discovered that your divinity is not quite the immaculate - '
'I desired you not to speak of her, Miss Eliza.'
'Oh, I beg your pardon! I perceive Cupid's arrows have been too sharp for you: the wounds, being more than skin-deep, are not yet healed, and bleed afresh at every mention of the loved one's name.'
'Say, rather,' interposed Miss Wilson, 'that Mr. Markham feels that name is unworthy to be mentioned in the presence of right-minded females. I wonder, Eliza, you should think of referring to that unfortunate person - you might know the mention of her would be anything but agreeable to any one here present.'
How could this be borne? I rose and was about to clap my hat upon my head and burst away, in wrathful indignation from the house; but recollecting44 - just in time to save my dignity - the folly45 of such a proceeding46, and how it would only give my fair tormentors a merry laugh at my expense, for the sake of one I acknowledged in my own heart to be unworthy of the slightest sacrifice - though the ghost of my former reverence47 and love so hung about me still, that I could not bear to hear her name aspersed48 by others - I merely walked to the window, and having spent a few seconds in vengibly biting my lips and sternly repressing the passionate49 heavings of my chest, I observed to Miss Wilson, that I could see nothing of her brother, and added that, as my time was precious, it would perhaps be better to call again to-morrow, at some time when I should be sure to find him at home.
'Oh, no!' said she; 'if you wait a minute, he will be sure to come; for he has business at L-' (that was our market-town), 'and will require a little refreshment50 before he goes.'
I submitted accordingly, with the best grace I could; and, happily, I had not long to wait. Mr. Wilson soon arrived, and, indisposed for business as I was at that moment, and little as I cared for the field or its owner, I forced my attention to the matter in hand, with very creditable determination, and quickly concluded the bargain - perhaps more to the thrifty51 farmer's satisfaction than he cared to acknowledge. Then, leaving him to the discussion of his substantial 'refreshment,' I gladly quitted the house, and went to look after my reapers52.
Leaving them busy at work on the side of the valley, I ascended53 the hill, intending to visit a corn-field in the more elevated regions, and see when it would be ripe for the sickle54. But I did not visit it that day; for, as I approached, I beheld55, at no great distance, Mrs. Graham and her son coming down in the opposite direction. They saw me; and Arthur already was running to meet me; but I immediately turned back and walked steadily56 homeward; for I had fully39 determined never to encounter his mother again; and regardless of the shrill57 voice in my ear, calling upon me to 'wait a moment,' I pursued the even tenor58 of my way; and he soon relinquished59 the pursuit as hopeless, or was called away by his mother. At all events, when I looked back, five minutes after, not a trace of either was to be seen.
This incident agitated60 and disturbed me most unaccountably - unless you would account for it by saying that Cupid's arrows not only had been too sharp for me, but they were barbed and deeply rooted, and I had not yet been able to wrench61 them from my heart. However that be, I was rendered doubly miserable62 for the remainder of the day.
1 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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2 remonstrated | |
v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 );告诫 | |
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3 perusal | |
n.细读,熟读;目测 | |
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4 justify | |
vt.证明…正当(或有理),为…辩护 | |
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5 unwilling | |
adj.不情愿的 | |
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6 coaxing | |
v.哄,用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 );巧言骗取;哄劝,劝诱;“锻炼”效应 | |
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7 mischievous | |
adj.调皮的,恶作剧的,有害的,伤人的 | |
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8 corruption | |
n.腐败,堕落,贪污 | |
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9 skull | |
n.头骨;颅骨 | |
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10 sentimental | |
adj.多愁善感的,感伤的 | |
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11 inflict | |
vt.(on)把…强加给,使遭受,使承担 | |
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12 besought | |
v.恳求,乞求(某事物)( beseech的过去式和过去分词 );(beseech的过去式与过去分词) | |
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13 leisurely | |
adj.悠闲的;从容的,慢慢的 | |
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14 defile | |
v.弄污,弄脏;n.(山间)小道 | |
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15 maternal | |
adj.母亲的,母亲般的,母系的,母方的 | |
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16 tongs | |
n.钳;夹子 | |
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17 recollected | |
adj.冷静的;镇定的;被回忆起的;沉思默想的v.记起,想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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18 misanthropically | |
厌恶人类的 | |
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19 calumnies | |
n.诬蔑,诽谤,中伤(的话)( calumny的名词复数 ) | |
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20 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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21 enjoyment | |
n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
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22 vocation | |
n.职业,行业 | |
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23 allurements | |
n.诱惑( allurement的名词复数 );吸引;诱惑物;有诱惑力的事物 | |
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24 toil | |
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事 | |
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25 drudge | |
n.劳碌的人;v.做苦工,操劳 | |
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26 plod | |
v.沉重缓慢地走,孜孜地工作 | |
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27 contented | |
adj.满意的,安心的,知足的 | |
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28 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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29 premises | |
n.建筑物,房屋 | |
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30 recoil | |
vi.退却,退缩,畏缩 | |
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31 chattering | |
n. (机器振动发出的)咔嗒声,(鸟等)鸣,啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的,啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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32 pathos | |
n.哀婉,悲怆 | |
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33 pretension | |
n.要求;自命,自称;自负 | |
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34 malice | |
n.恶意,怨恨,蓄意;[律]预谋 | |
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35 expressive | |
adj.表现的,表达…的,富于表情的 | |
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36 wreak | |
v.发泄;报复 | |
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37 courteous | |
adj.彬彬有礼的,客气的 | |
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38 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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39 fully | |
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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40 repelling | |
v.击退( repel的现在分词 );使厌恶;排斥;推开 | |
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41 odious | |
adj.可憎的,讨厌的 | |
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42 vexed | |
adj.争论不休的;(指问题等)棘手的;争论不休的问题;烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 );使苦恼;使生气;详细讨论 | |
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43 strenuous | |
adj.奋发的,使劲的;紧张的;热烈的,狂热的 | |
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44 recollecting | |
v.记起,想起( recollect的现在分词 ) | |
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45 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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46 proceeding | |
n.行动,进行,(pl.)会议录,学报 | |
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47 reverence | |
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬 | |
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48 aspersed | |
v.毁坏(名誉),中伤,诽谤( asperse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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50 refreshment | |
n.恢复,精神爽快,提神之事物;(复数)refreshments:点心,茶点 | |
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51 thrifty | |
adj.节俭的;兴旺的;健壮的 | |
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52 reapers | |
n.收割者,收获者( reaper的名词复数 );收割机 | |
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53 ascended | |
v.上升,攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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54 sickle | |
n.镰刀 | |
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55 beheld | |
v.看,注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟 | |
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56 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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57 shrill | |
adj.尖声的;刺耳的;v尖叫 | |
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58 tenor | |
n.男高音(歌手),次中音(乐器),要旨,大意 | |
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59 relinquished | |
交出,让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 ); 放弃 | |
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60 agitated | |
adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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61 wrench | |
v.猛拧;挣脱;使扭伤;n.扳手;痛苦,难受 | |
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62 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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