The tardy1 gig had overtaken me at last. I entered it, and bade the man who brought it drive to Grassdale Manor2 - I was too busy with my own thoughts to care to drive it myself. I would see Mrs. Huntingdon - there could be no impropriety in that now that her husband had been dead above a year - and by her indifference3 or her joy at my unexpected arrival I could soon tell whether her heart was truly mine. But my companion, a loquacious4, forward fellow, was not disposed to leave me to the indulgence of my private cogitations.
'There they go!' said he, as the carriages filed away before us. 'There'll be brave doings on yonder to-day, as what come to-morra. - Know anything of that family, sir? or you're a stranger in these parts?'
'I know them by report.'
'Humph! There's the best of 'em gone, anyhow. And I suppose the old missis is agoing to leave after this stir's gotten overed, and take herself off, somewhere, to live on her bit of a jointure; and the young 'un - at least the new 'un (she's none so very young) - is coming down to live at the Grove5.'
'Is Mr. Hargrave married, then?'
'Ay, sir, a few months since. He should a been wed7 afore, to a widow lady, but they couldn't agree over the money: she'd a rare long purse, and Mr. Hargrave wanted it all to hisself; but she wouldn't let it go, and so then they fell out. This one isn't quite as rich, nor as handsome either, but she hasn't been married before. She's very plain, they say, and getting on to forty or past, and so, you know, if she didn't jump at this hopportunity, she thought she'd never get a better. I guess she thought such a handsome young husband was worth all 'at ever she had, and he might take it and welcome, but I lay she'll rue8 her bargain afore long. They say she begins already to see 'at he isn't not altogether that nice, generous, perlite, delightful9 gentleman 'at she thought him afore marriage - he begins a being careless and masterful already. Ay, and she'll find him harder and carelesser nor she thinks on.'
'You seem to be well acquainted with him,' I observed.
'I am, sir; I've known him since he was quite a young gentleman; and a proud 'un he was, and a wilful10. I was servant yonder for several years; but I couldn't stand their niggardly11 ways - she got ever longer and worse, did missis, with her nipping and screwing, and watching and grudging12; so I thought I'd find another place.'
'Are we not near the house?' said I, interrupting him.
'Yes, sir; yond's the park.'
My heart sank within me to behold13 that stately mansion14 in the midst of its expansive grounds. The park as beautiful now, in its wintry garb15, as it could be in its summer glory: the majestic16 sweep, the undulating swell17 and fall, displayed to full advantage in that robe of dazzling purity, stainless18 and printless - save one long, winding19 track left by the trooping deer - the stately timber-trees with their heavy-laden branches gleaming white against the dull, grey sky; the deep, encircling woods; the broad expanse of water sleeping in frozen quiet; and the weeping ash and willow20 drooping21 their snow-clad boughs22 above it - all presented a picture, striking indeed, and pleasing to an unencumbered mind, but by no means encouraging to me. There was one comfort, however, - all this was entailed23 upon little Arthur, and could not under any circumstances, strictly24 speaking, be his mother's. But how was she situated25? Overcoming with a sudden effort my repugnance26 to mention her name to my garrulous27 companion, I asked him if he knew whether her late husband had left a will, and how the property had been disposed of. Oh, yes, he knew all about it; and I was quickly informed that to her had been left the full control and management of the estate during her son's minority, besides the absolute, unconditional28 possession of her own fortune (but I knew that her father had not given her much), and the small additional sum that had been settled upon her before marriage.
Before the close of the explanation we drew up at the park-gates. Now for the trial. If I should find her within - but alas29! she might be still at Staningley: her brother had given me no intimation to the contrary. I inquired at the porter's lodge30 if Mrs. Huntingdon were at home. No, she was with her aunt in -shire, but was expected to return before Christmas. She usually spent most of her time at Staningley, only coming to Grassdale occasionally, when the management of affairs, or the interest of her tenants31 and dependents, required her presence.
'Near what town is Staningley situated?' I asked. The requisite32 information was soon obtained. 'Now then, my man, give me the reins33, and we'll return to M-. I must have some breakfast at the "Rose and Crown," and then away to Staningley by the first coach for -.'
At M- I had time before the coach started to replenish34 my forces with a hearty35 breakfast, and to obtain the refreshment36 of my usual morning's ablutions, and the amelioration of some slight change in my toilet, and also to despatch37 a short note to my mother (excellent son that I was), to assure her that I was still in existence, and to excuse my non-appearance at the expected time. It was a long journey to Staningley for those slow-travelling days, but I did not deny myself needful refreshment on the road, nor even a night's rest at a wayside inn, choosing rather to brook38 a little delay than to present myself worn, wild, and weather-beaten before my mistress and her aunt, who would be astonished enough to see me without that. Next morning, therefore, I not only fortified39 myself with as substantial a breakfast as my excited feelings would allow me to swallow, but I bestowed40 a little more than usual time and care upon my toilet; and, furnished with a change of linen41 from my small carpet-bag, well-brushed clothes, well-polished boots, and neat new gloves, I mounted 'The Lightning,' and resumed my journey. I had nearly two stages yet before me, but the coach, I was informed, passed through the neighbourhood of Staningley, and having desired to be set down as near the Hall as possible, I had nothing to do but to sit with folded arms and speculate upon the coming hour.
It was a clear, frosty morning. The very fact of sitting exalted42 aloft, surveying the snowy landscape and sweet sunny sky, inhaling43 the pure, bracing44 air, and crunching45 away over the crisp frozen snow, was exhilarating enough in itself; but add to this the idea of to what goal I was hastening, and whom I expected to meet, and you may have some faint conception of my frame of mind at the time - only a faint one, though: for my heart swelled46 with unspeakable delight, and my spirits rose almost to madness, in spite of my prudent47 endeavours to bind48 them down to a reasonable platitude49 by thinking of the undeniable difference between Helen's rank and mine; of all that she had passed through since our parting; of her long, unbroken silence; and, above all, of her cool, cautious aunt, whose counsels she would doubtless be careful not to slight again. These considerations made my heart flutter with anxiety, and my chest heave with impatience50 to get the crisis over; but they could not dim her image in my mind, or mar6 the vivid recollection of what had been said and felt between us, or destroy the keen anticipation51 of what was to be: in fact, I could not realise their terrors now. Towards the close of the journey, however, a couple of my fellow- passengers kindly52 came to my assistance, and brought me low enough.
'Fine land this,' said one of them, pointing with his umbrella to the wide fields on the right, conspicuous53 for their compact hedgerows, deep, well-cut ditches, and fine timber-trees, growing sometimes on the borders, sometimes in the midst of the enclosure: 'very fine land, if you saw it in the summer or spring.'
'Ay,' responded the other, a gruff elderly man, with a drab greatcoat buttoned up to the chin, and a cotton umbrella between his knees. 'It's old Maxwell's, I suppose.'
'It was his, sir; but he's dead now, you're aware, and has left it all to his niece.'
'All?'
'Every rood of it, and the mansion-house and all! every hatom of his worldly goods, except just a trifle, by way of remembrance, to his nephew down in -shire, and an annuity54 to his wife.'
'It's strange, sir!'
'It is, sir; and she wasn't his own niece neither. But he had no near relations of his own - none but a nephew he'd quarrelled with; and he always had a partiality for this one. And then his wife advised him to it, they say: she'd brought most of the property, and it was her wish that this lady should have it.'
'Humph! She'll be a fine catch for somebody.'
'She will so. She's a widow, but quite young yet, and uncommon55 handsome: a fortune of her own, besides, and only one child, and she's nursing a fine estate for him in -. There'll be lots to speak for her! 'fraid there's no chance for uz' - (facetiously jogging me with his elbow, as well as his companion) - 'ha, ha, ha! No offence, sir, I hope?' - (to me). 'Ahem! I should think she'll marry none but a nobleman myself. Look ye, sir,' resumed he, turning to his other neighbour, and pointing past me with his umbrella, 'that's the Hall: grand park, you see, and all them woods - plenty of timber there, and lots of game. Hallo! what now?'
This exclamation56 was occasioned by the sudden stoppage of the coach at the park-gates.
'Gen'leman for Staningley Hall?' cried the coachman and I rose and threw my carpet-bag on to the ground, preparatory to dropping myself down after it.
'Sickly, sir?' asked my talkative neighbour, staring me in the face. I daresay it was white enough.
'No. Here, coachman!'
'Thank'ee, sir. - All right!'
The coachman pocketed his fee and drove away, leaving me, not walking up the park, but pacing to and fro before its gates, with folded arms, and eyes fixed57 upon the ground, an overwhelming force of images, thoughts, impressions crowding on my mind, and nothing tangibly58 distinct but this: My love had been cherished in vain - my hope was gone for ever; I must tear myself away at once, and banish59 or suppress all thoughts of her, like the remembrance of a wild, mad dream. Gladly would I have lingered round the place for hours, in the hope of catching60 at least one distant glimpse of her before I went, but it must not be - I must not suffer her to see me; for what could have brought me hither but the hope of reviving her attachment61, with a view hereafter to obtain her hand? And could I bear that she should think me capable of such a thing? - of presuming upon the acquaintance - the love, if you will - accidentally contracted, or rather forced upon her against her will, when she was an unknown fugitive62, toiling63 for her own support, apparently64 without fortune, family, or connections; to come upon her now, when she was reinstated in her proper sphere, and claim a share in her prosperity, which, had it never failed her, would most certainly have kept her unknown to me for ever? And this, too, when we had parted sixteen months ago, and she had expressly forbidden me to hope for a re-union in this world, and never sent me a line or a message from that day to this. No! The very idea was intolerable.
And even if she should have a lingering affection for me still, ought I to disturb her peace by awakening65 those feelings? to subject her to the struggles of conflicting duty and inclination66 - to whichsoever side the latter might allure67, or the former imperatively68 call her - whether she should deem it her duty to risk the slights and censures69 of the world, the sorrow and displeasure of those she loved, for a romantic idea of truth and constancy to me, or to sacrifice her individual wishes to the feelings of her friends and her own sense of prudence70 and the fitness of things? No - and I would not! I would go at once, and she should never know that I had approached the place of her abode71: for though I might disclaim72 all idea of ever aspiring73 to her hand, or even of soliciting74 a place in her friendly regard, her peace should not be broken by my presence, nor her heart afflicted75 by the sight of my fidelity76.
'Adieu then, dear Helen, forever! Forever adieu!'
So said I - and yet I could not tear myself away. I moved a few paces, and then looked back, for one last view of her stately home, that I might have its outward form, at least, impressed upon my mind as indelibly as her own image, which, alas! I must not see again - then walked a few steps further; and then, lost in melancholy77 musings, paused again and leant my back against a rough old tree that grew beside the road.
1 tardy | |
adj.缓慢的,迟缓的 | |
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2 manor | |
n.庄园,领地 | |
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3 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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4 loquacious | |
adj.多嘴的,饶舌的 | |
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5 grove | |
n.林子,小树林,园林 | |
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6 mar | |
vt.破坏,毁坏,弄糟 | |
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7 wed | |
v.娶,嫁,与…结婚 | |
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8 rue | |
n.懊悔,芸香,后悔;v.后悔,悲伤,懊悔 | |
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9 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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10 wilful | |
adj.任性的,故意的 | |
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11 niggardly | |
adj.吝啬的,很少的 | |
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12 grudging | |
adj.勉强的,吝啬的 | |
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13 behold | |
v.看,注视,看到 | |
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14 mansion | |
n.大厦,大楼;宅第 | |
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15 garb | |
n.服装,装束 | |
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16 majestic | |
adj.雄伟的,壮丽的,庄严的,威严的,崇高的 | |
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17 swell | |
vi.膨胀,肿胀;增长,增强 | |
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18 stainless | |
adj.无瑕疵的,不锈的 | |
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19 winding | |
n.绕,缠,绕组,线圈 | |
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20 willow | |
n.柳树 | |
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21 drooping | |
adj. 下垂的,无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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22 boughs | |
大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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23 entailed | |
使…成为必要( entail的过去式和过去分词 ); 需要; 限定继承; 使必需 | |
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24 strictly | |
adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
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25 situated | |
adj.坐落在...的,处于某种境地的 | |
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26 repugnance | |
n.嫌恶 | |
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27 garrulous | |
adj.唠叨的,多话的 | |
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28 unconditional | |
adj.无条件的,无限制的,绝对的 | |
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29 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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30 lodge | |
v.临时住宿,寄宿,寄存,容纳;n.传达室,小旅馆 | |
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31 tenants | |
n.房客( tenant的名词复数 );佃户;占用者;占有者 | |
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32 requisite | |
adj.需要的,必不可少的;n.必需品 | |
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33 reins | |
感情,激情; 缰( rein的名词复数 ); 控制手段; 掌管; (成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的)保护带 | |
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34 replenish | |
vt.补充;(把…)装满;(再)填满 | |
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35 hearty | |
adj.热情友好的;衷心的;尽情的,纵情的 | |
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36 refreshment | |
n.恢复,精神爽快,提神之事物;(复数)refreshments:点心,茶点 | |
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37 despatch | |
n./v.(dispatch)派遣;发送;n.急件;新闻报道 | |
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38 brook | |
n.小河,溪;v.忍受,容让 | |
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39 fortified | |
adj. 加强的 | |
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40 bestowed | |
赠给,授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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41 linen | |
n.亚麻布,亚麻线,亚麻制品;adj.亚麻布制的,亚麻的 | |
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42 exalted | |
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
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43 inhaling | |
v.吸入( inhale的现在分词 ) | |
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44 bracing | |
adj.令人振奋的 | |
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45 crunching | |
v.嘎吱嘎吱地咬嚼( crunch的现在分词 );嘎吱作响;(快速大量地)处理信息;数字捣弄 | |
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46 swelled | |
增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 ); 肿胀; (使)凸出; 充满(激情) | |
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47 prudent | |
adj.谨慎的,有远见的,精打细算的 | |
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48 bind | |
vt.捆,包扎;装订;约束;使凝固;vi.变硬 | |
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49 platitude | |
n.老生常谈,陈词滥调 | |
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50 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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51 anticipation | |
n.预期,预料,期望 | |
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52 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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53 conspicuous | |
adj.明眼的,惹人注目的;炫耀的,摆阔气的 | |
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54 annuity | |
n.年金;养老金 | |
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55 uncommon | |
adj.罕见的,非凡的,不平常的 | |
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56 exclamation | |
n.感叹号,惊呼,惊叹词 | |
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57 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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58 tangibly | |
adv.可触摸的,可触知地,明白地 | |
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59 banish | |
vt.放逐,驱逐;消除,排除 | |
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60 catching | |
adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住 | |
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61 attachment | |
n.附属物,附件;依恋;依附 | |
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62 fugitive | |
adj.逃亡的,易逝的;n.逃犯,逃亡者 | |
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63 toiling | |
长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的现在分词 ); 艰难缓慢地移动,跋涉 | |
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64 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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65 awakening | |
n.觉醒,醒悟 adj.觉醒中的;唤醒的 | |
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66 inclination | |
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好 | |
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67 allure | |
n.诱惑力,魅力;vt.诱惑,引诱,吸引 | |
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68 imperatively | |
adv.命令式地 | |
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69 censures | |
v.指责,非难,谴责( censure的第三人称单数 ) | |
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70 prudence | |
n.谨慎,精明,节俭 | |
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71 abode | |
n.住处,住所 | |
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72 disclaim | |
v.放弃权利,拒绝承认 | |
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73 aspiring | |
adj.有志气的;有抱负的;高耸的v.渴望;追求 | |
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74 soliciting | |
v.恳求( solicit的现在分词 );(指娼妇)拉客;索求;征求 | |
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75 afflicted | |
使受痛苦,折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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76 fidelity | |
n.忠诚,忠实;精确 | |
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77 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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