Hath she her faults? I would you had them too. They are the fruity must of soundest wine; Or say, they are regenerating1 fire Such as hath turned the dense2 black element Into a crystal pathway for the sun.
If youth is the season of hope, it is often so only in the sense that our elders are hopeful about us; for no age is so apt as youth to think its emotions, partings, and resolves are the last of their kind. Each crisis seems final, simply because it is new. We are told that the oldest inhabitants in Peru do not cease to be agitated3 by the earthquakes, but they probably see beyond each shock, and reflect that there are plenty more to come.
To Dorothea, still in that time of youth when the eyes with their long full lashes4 look out after their rain of tears unsoiled and unwearied as a freshly opened passion-flower, that morning's parting with Will Ladislaw seemed to be the close of their personal relations. He was going away into the distance of unknown years, and if ever he came back he would be another man. The actual state of his mind-- his proud resolve to give the lie beforehand to any suspicion that he would play the needy5 adventurer seeking a rich woman-- lay quite out of her imagination, and she had interpreted all his behavior easily enough by her supposition that Mr. Casaubon's codicil7 seemed to him, as it did to her, a gross and cruel interdict8 on any active friendship between them. Their young delight in speaking to each other, and saying what no one else would care to hear, was forever ended, and become a treasure of the past. For this very reason she dwelt on it without inward check. That unique happiness too was dead, and in its shadowed silent chamber9 she might vent6 the passionate10 grief which she herself wondered at. For the first time she took down the miniature from the wall and kept it before her, liking11 to blend the woman who had been too hardly judged with the grandson whom her own heart and judgment12 defended. Can any one who has rejoiced in woman's tenderness think it a reproach to her that she took the little oval picture in her palm and made a bed for it there, and leaned her cheek upon it, as if that would soothe13 the creatures who had suffered unjust condemnation14? She did not know then that it was Love who had come to her briefly15, as in a dream before awaking, with the hues16 of morning on his wings-- that it was Love to whom she was sobbing17 her farewell as his image was banished18 by the blameless rigor19 of irresistible20 day. She only felt that there was something irrevocably amiss and lost in her lot, and her thoughts about the future were the more readily shapen into resolve. Ardent21 souls, ready to construct their coming lives, are apt to commit themselves to the fulfilment of their own visions.
One day that she went to Freshitt to fulfil her promise of staying all night and seeing baby washed, Mrs. Cadwallader came to dine, the Rector being gone on a fishing excursion. It was a warm evening, and even in the delightful22 drawing-room, where the fine old turf sloped from the open window towards a lilied pool and well-planted mounds23, the heat was enough to make Celia in her white muslin and light curls reflect with pity on what Dodo must feel in her black dress and close cap. But this was not until some episodes with baby were over, and had left her mind at leisure. She had seated herself and taken up a fan for some time before she said, in her quiet guttural--
"Dear Dodo, do throw off that cap. I am sure your dress must make you feel ill."
"I am so used to the cap--it has become a sort of shell," said Dorothea, smiling. "I feel rather bare and exposed when it is off."
"I must see you without it; it makes us all warm," said Celia, throwing down her fan, and going to Dorothea. It was a pretty picture to see this little lady in white muslin unfastening the widow's cap from her more majestic24 sister, and tossing it on to a chair. Just as the coils and braids of dark-brown hair had been set free, Sir James entered the room. He looked at the released head, and said, "Ah!" in a tone of satisfaction.
"It was I who did it, James," said Celia. "Dodo need not make such a slavery of her mourning; she need not wear that cap any more among her friends."
"My dear Celia," said Lady Chettam, "a widow must wear her mourning at least a year."
"Not if she marries again before the end of it," said Mrs. Cadwallader, who had some pleasure in startling her good friend the Dowager. Sir James was annoyed, and leaned forward to play with Celia's Maltese dog.
"That is very rare, I hope," said Lady Chettam, in a tone intended to guard against such events. "No friend of ours ever committed herself in that way except Mrs. Beevor, and it was very painful to Lord Grinsell when she did so. Her first husband was objectionable, which made it the greater wonder. And severely25 she was punished for it. They said Captain Beevor dragged her about by the hair, and held up loaded pistols at her."
"Oh, if she took the wrong man!" said Mrs. Cadwallader, who was in a decidedly wicked mood. "Marriage is always bad then, first or second. Priority is a poor recommendation in a husband if he has got no other. I would rather have a good second husband than an indifferent first."
"My dear, your clever tongue runs away with you," said Lady Chettam. "I am sure you would be the last woman to marry again prematurely26, if our dear Rector were taken away."
"Oh, I make no vows27; it might be a necessary economy. It is lawful28 to marry again, I suppose; else we might as well be Hindoos instead of Christians29. Of course if a woman accepts the wrong man, she must take the consequences, and one who does it twice over deserves her fate. But if she can marry blood, beauty, and bravery-- the sooner the better."
"I think the subject of our conversation is very ill-chosen," said Sir James, with a look of disgust. "Suppose we change it."
"Not on my account, Sir James," said Dorothea, determined30 not to lose the opportunity of freeing herself from certain oblique31 references to excellent matches. "If you are speaking on my behalf, I can assure you that no question can be more indifferent and impersonal32 to me than second marriage. It is no more to me than if you talked of women going fox-hunting: whether it is admirable in them or not, I shall not follow them. Pray let Mrs. Cadwallader amuse herself on that subject as much as on any other."
"My dear Mrs. Casaubon," said Lady Chettam, in her stateliest way, "you do not, I hope, think there was any allusion33 to you in my mentioning Mrs. Beevor. It was only an instance that occurred to me. She was step-daughter to Lord Grinsell: he married Mrs. Teveroy for his second wife. There could be no possible allusion to you."
"Oh no," said Celia. "Nobody chose the subject; it all came out of Dodo's cap. Mrs. Cadwallader only said what was quite true. A woman could not be married in a widow's cap, James."
"Hush34, my dear!" said Mrs. Cadwallader. "I will not offend again. I will not even refer to Dido or Zenobia. Only what are we to talk about? I, for my part, object to the discussion of Human Nature, because that is the nature of rectors' wives."
Later in the evening, after Mrs. Cadwallader was gone, Celia said privately35 to Dorothea, "Really, Dodo, taking your cap off made you like yourself again in more ways than one. You spoke36 up just as you used to do, when anything was said to displease37 you. But I could hardly make out whether it was James that you thought wrong, or Mrs. Cadwallader."
"Neither," said Dorothea. "James spoke out of delicacy38 to me, but he was mistaken in supposing that I minded what Mrs. Cadwallader said. I should only mind if there were a law obliging me to take any piece of blood and beauty that she or anybody else recommended."
"But you know, Dodo, if you ever did marry, it would be all the better to have blood and beauty," said Celia, reflecting that Mr. Casaubon had not been richly endowed with those gifts, and that it would be well to caution Dorothea in time.
"Don't be anxious, Kitty; I have quite other thoughts about my life. I shall never marry again," said Dorothea, touching39 her sister's chin, and looking at her with indulgent affection. Celia was nursing her baby, and Dorothea had come to say good-night to her.
"Really--quite?" said Celia. "Not anybody at all--if he were very wonderful indeed?"
Dorothea shook her head slowly. "Not anybody at all. I have delightful plans. I should like to take a great deal of land, and drain it, and make a little colony, where everybody should work, and all the work should be done well. I should know every one of the people and be their friend. I am going to have great consultations40 with Mr. Garth: he can tell me almost everything I want to know."
"Then you _will_ be happy, if you have a plan, Dodo?" said Celia. "Perhaps little Arthur will like plans when he grows up, and then he can help you."
Sir James was informed that same night that Dorothea was really quite set against marrying anybody at all, and was going to take to "all sorts of plans," just like what she used to have. Sir James made no remark. To his secret feeling there was something repulsive41 in a woman's second marriage, and no match would prevent him from feeling it a sort of desecration42 for Dorothea. He was aware that the world would regard such a sentiment as preposterous43, especially in relation to a woman of one-and-twenty; the practice of "the world" being to treat of a young widow's second marriage as certain and probably near, and to smile with meaning if the widow acts accordingly. But if Dorothea did choose to espouse44 her solitude45, he felt that the resolution would well become her.
1 regenerating | |
v.新生,再生( regenerate的现在分词 );正反馈 | |
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2 dense | |
a.密集的,稠密的,浓密的;密度大的 | |
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3 agitated | |
adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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4 lashes | |
n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 );鞭子;突然猛烈的一击;急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 );煽动;紧系;怒斥 | |
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5 needy | |
adj.贫穷的,贫困的,生活艰苦的 | |
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6 vent | |
n.通风口,排放口;开衩;vt.表达,发泄 | |
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7 codicil | |
n.遗嘱的附录 | |
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8 interdict | |
v.限制;禁止;n.正式禁止;禁令 | |
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9 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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10 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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11 liking | |
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 | |
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12 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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13 soothe | |
v.安慰;使平静;使减轻;缓和;奉承 | |
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14 condemnation | |
n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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15 briefly | |
adv.简单地,简短地 | |
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16 hues | |
色彩( hue的名词复数 ); 色调; 信仰; 观点 | |
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17 sobbing | |
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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18 banished | |
v.放逐,驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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19 rigor | |
n.严酷,严格,严厉 | |
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20 irresistible | |
adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的 | |
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21 ardent | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,强烈的,烈性的 | |
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22 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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23 mounds | |
土堆,土丘( mound的名词复数 ); 一大堆 | |
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24 majestic | |
adj.雄伟的,壮丽的,庄严的,威严的,崇高的 | |
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25 severely | |
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地 | |
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26 prematurely | |
adv.过早地,贸然地 | |
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27 vows | |
誓言( vow的名词复数 ); 郑重宣布,许愿 | |
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28 lawful | |
adj.法律许可的,守法的,合法的 | |
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29 Christians | |
n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
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30 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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31 oblique | |
adj.斜的,倾斜的,无诚意的,不坦率的 | |
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32 impersonal | |
adj.无个人感情的,与个人无关的,非人称的 | |
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33 allusion | |
n.暗示,间接提示 | |
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34 hush | |
int.嘘,别出声;n.沉默,静寂;v.使安静 | |
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35 privately | |
adv.以私人的身份,悄悄地,私下地 | |
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36 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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37 displease | |
vt.使不高兴,惹怒;n.不悦,不满,生气 | |
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38 delicacy | |
n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
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39 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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40 consultations | |
n.磋商(会议)( consultation的名词复数 );商讨会;协商会;查找 | |
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41 repulsive | |
adj.排斥的,使人反感的 | |
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42 desecration | |
n. 亵渎神圣, 污辱 | |
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43 preposterous | |
adj.荒谬的,可笑的 | |
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44 espouse | |
v.支持,赞成,嫁娶 | |
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45 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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