Chapter 15

HER HAIR FELL in thick, blond clumps¹ onto the bathroom floor. She took the scissors and cut again. Everything had to start over now. Wendy was gone forever. A new face began to emerge in the mirror. She said good-bye to the au pair she had been for the past five months.

Cut away the past. Wendy was a name for Peter Pan, not the real world.

The baby was screaming in the bedroom. "Hush², Caitlin. Please, honey."

She had to figure it out - what to do with her. All she knew was that she couldn't let the baby die. She had listened to the news reports all afternoon. The whole world was look-ing for her. They were calling her a cold-blooded killer³. A monster. But she couldn't be such a monster, could she? Not if she had saved the baby.

"You don't think I'm such a monster, do you, Caitlin?" she called to the bawling⁴ child.

Michelle lowered her head into the sink and dumped a bottle of L'Or俛l Red Sunset dye all over her, massaging⁵ it into her cropped hair.

Wendy, the au pair, disappeared.

Any moment now, Malcolm would come by. They had agreed not to meet until they were sure she hadn't been followed. But she needed him. Now that she'd proved what she was made of.

She heard the sound of the front door being rattled⁶. Michelle's heart jumped.

What if she'd been careless? What if someone had seen her coming back with the kid? What if they were kicking the door down now!

Then Malcolm stepped into the room. "You were expect-ing cops, weren't you? I told you they're stupid!" he said. Michelle ran over to him and jumped into his arms.

"Oh, Mal, we did it. We did it." She kissed his face about a hundred times. "I did the right thing, didn't I?" Michelle asked. "I mean, the TV is saying that whoever did this was a monster."

"I told you, you have to be strong, Michelle." Mal stroked her hair. "The TV, they're bought and paid for, just like the rest. But look at you.... You look so different."

Suddenly, there was a cry from the bedroom. Mal took a gun from his belt. "What the fuck was that?"

She was behind him as he ran into the bedroom. He stared, horrified⁷, at Caitlin.

"Mal, we can keep her, just for a little while. I'll care for her. She's done nothing wrong."

"You dumb twit," he said, pushing her onto the bed. "Every cop in the city will be looking for this kid."

She felt herself wheezing⁸ now. The way she always did when Mal's voice got hard. She fumbled⁹ around her purse for her inhaler. It was always there. She never went anywhere without it. She'd had it just last night. Where the hell was it now?

"I cared for her, Malcolm," Michelle said again. "I thought you'd understand...."

Malcolm pushed her face in front of the child. "Yeah, well understand this.... That kid is gone, tomorrow. You make it stop crying. Stick your tits in its mouth, put a fucking pillow over its head. In the morning, the baby's gone."

1 clumps   

n.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的名词复数 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声v.（树、灌木、植物等的）丛、簇( clump的第三人称单数 )；（土、泥等）团；块；笨重的脚步声

参考例句：

• These plants quickly form dense clumps. 这些植物很快形成了浓密的树丛。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The bulbs were over. All that remained of them were clumps of brown leaves. 这些鳞茎死了，剩下的只是一丛丛的黃叶子。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 hush   

int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静

参考例句：

• A hush fell over the onlookers.旁观者们突然静了下来。
• Do hush up the scandal!不要把这丑事声张出去！

3 killer   

n.杀人者，杀人犯，杀手，屠杀者

参考例句：

• Heart attacks have become Britain's No.1 killer disease.心脏病已成为英国的头号致命疾病。
• The bulk of the evidence points to him as her killer.大量证据证明是他杀死她的。

4 bawling   

v.大叫，大喊( bawl的现在分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物）

参考例句：

• We heard the dulcet tones of the sergeant, bawling at us to get on parade. 我们听到中士用“悦耳”的声音向我们大喊，让我们跟上队伍。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• "Why are you bawling at me? “你向我们吼啥子？ 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说

5 massaging   

按摩，推拿( massage的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• He watched the prisoner massaging his freed wrists. 他看着那个犯人不断揉搓着刚松开的两只手腕。
• Massaging your leg will ease the cramp. 推拿大腿可解除抽筋。

6 rattled   

慌乱的，恼火的

参考例句：

• The truck jolted and rattled over the rough ground. 卡车嘎吱嘎吱地在凹凸不平的地面上颠簸而行。
• Every time a bus went past, the windows rattled. 每逢公共汽车经过这里，窗户都格格作响。

7 horrified   

a.(表现出)恐惧的

参考例句：

• The whole country was horrified by the killings. 全国都对这些凶杀案感到大为震惊。
• We were horrified at the conditions prevailing in local prisons. 地方监狱的普遍状况让我们震惊。

8 wheezing   

v.喘息，发出呼哧呼哧的喘息声( wheeze的现在分词 )；哮鸣

参考例句：

• He was coughing and wheezing all night. 他整夜又咳嗽又喘。
• A barrel-organ was wheezing out an old tune. 一架手摇风琴正在呼哧呼哧地奏着一首古老的曲子。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

9 fumbled   

（笨拙地）摸索或处理（某事物）( fumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 乱摸，笨拙地弄； 使落下

参考例句：

• She fumbled in her pocket for a handkerchief. 她在她口袋里胡乱摸找手帕。
• He fumbled about in his pockets for the ticket. 他（瞎）摸着衣兜找票。