MATTHEWS WORDS HIT ME like a stone wall, collapsing1 over me. A son...
For three years Sophie and I had tried to conceive, to no result. We had wanted a child more than anything. We even spoke2 of it that last night we were together.I had left her , and never even knew I had a son.
I turned toward Matthew, a flicker3 of hope alive in my heart.
He isdead , Hugh. He wasn't even a year old. The bastards4 killed him that same night. They tore him from Sophie's arms as she tried to flee.
A wall of tears rushed at my eyes. A son... A son I would never know or hold. I had been through the fiercest battles, the worst of all horrors. But nothing could have prepared me for this.
How? I muttered. How did my son die?
I can't even say it. Matthew's face was ashen5. Just believe me when I say that he is dead.
I repeated my question, this time fixed6 upon his eyes.How ?
His voice was so quiet. As they threw Sophie's lifeless body over his mount, the leader said, We have no room for such a toy. Toss him in the flames.'
I felt a pressure building up, an anger clawing at me as if my insides were ripping through my skin. God had smiled on us after all that time. He had blessed us with a son. Now He spat7 at me with the sharpest mockery.
How could I have left them? How could I still be alive if they were dead?
I looked at Matthew and asked, What was his name?
Matthew swallowed. She named him Phillipe.
I felt a lump catch in my throat. Phillipe was the name of the goliard who had raised me. It was her tribute to me.Sweet Sophie ,you are gone. My son too... I felt the urge to die right there amid the charred8 ash, the ruins of my old life.
Hugh, Matthew said, lifting me up, you have to come. He led me up the trail to a knoll9 where I had just stood over the town. A small slate10 stone marked my son's grave.
I sat down under a shroud11 of tall poplars. Phillipe De Luc, son of Hugh and Sophie, was scratched into the stone. Year of our Lord MXCVIII.
I laid my head on the earth and wept. For my sweet Phillipe, whom I would never see, not even once in my life. For my wife, who was surely dead.
Was this why I was spared? Was this why the Turk had not swung his murderous sword? So I would live to see all that I loved lost? Was this why the laughter had saved me? So God could laugh at me now?
I took off the pouch12 that contained the things I had brought back for Sophie: a perfume box, some ancient coins, the scabbard, the golden cross-and I dug a hole next to my baby's grave. I gently placed my treasures in it. They were worthless to me now. They belong to you, I whispered to Phillipe. My sweet baby.
I smoothed out the earth and once more laid my head on the ground.I'm so sorry, Phillipe and Sophie. Slowly my grief began to harden into rage. I knew Baldwin had ordered this. And Norcross had carried it out. But why? Why?
I'm just an innkeeper, I thought. I am nothing. Just a serf.
But a serf who will see you dead.
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1
collapsing
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压扁[平],毁坏,断裂 | |
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2
spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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3
flicker
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vi./n.闪烁,摇曳,闪现 | |
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4
bastards
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私生子( bastard的名词复数 ); 坏蛋; 讨厌的事物; 麻烦事 (认为别人走运或不幸时说)家伙 | |
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5
ashen
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adj.灰的 | |
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6
fixed
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adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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7
spat
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n.口角,掌击;v.发出呼噜呼噜声 | |
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8
charred
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v.把…烧成炭( char的过去式);烧焦 | |
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9
knoll
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n.小山,小丘 | |
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10
slate
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n.板岩,石板,石片,石板色,候选人名单;adj.暗蓝灰色的,含板岩的;vt.用石板覆盖,痛打,提名,预订 | |
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11
shroud
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n.裹尸布,寿衣;罩,幕;vt.覆盖,隐藏 | |
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12
pouch
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n.小袋,小包,囊状袋;vt.装...入袋中,用袋运输;vi.用袋送信件 | |
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