WHEN DUNNY MATERIALIZES ON THE THIRD floor of the great house, in answer to the call, Typhon steps through the double doors from Channing Manheim’s private suite1, into the north hall, shaking his head in amazement2. “Dear boy, have you taken a tour of these rooms?”
“No, sir.”
“Even I myself have not enjoyed quite such luxury. But then again, with all my traveling, I stay mostly in hotels, and even the finest of them offer no suites3 comparable to this.”
Sirens arise in the night outside.
“Mr. Hazard Yancy,” Typhon says, “has sent the cavalry4 a tad too late, but I’m sure they’ll be welcome.”
Together they walk to the main elevator, which opens as they approach.
With his usual grace, Typhon indicates that Dunny should enter ahead of him.
As the doors close behind them and they begin to descend5, Typhon says, “Splendid work. Magnificent, really. I believe you achieved all you hoped and much more.”
“Much more,” Dunny admits, for between them he is required to speak only the truth.
[597] Merry eyes twinkling, Typhon says, “You must acknowledge that I honored all the terms to which we agreed, and in fact I interpreted them with considerable elasticity6.”
“I’m deeply grateful, sir, for the opportunity you gave me.”
Typhon pats Dunny’s shoulder affectionately. “For a few years there, dear boy, we thought we’d lost you.”
“Not even close.”
“Oh, much closer than you think,” Typhon assures him. “You were almost a goner. I’m so glad it worked out this way.”
Typhon pats his shoulder one more time, and Dunny’s body drops to the floor of the elevator, while still his spirit stands here in suit and tie, the very image of the corpse7 at its feet, but far less solid in appearance than the lifeless flesh.
After a moment, the body vanishes.
“Where?” Dunny wonders.
With a pleasant chuckle8 of delight, Typhon says, “There’s going to be some shocked and confounded people in the garden room back at Our Lady of Angels. The naked cadaver9 they lost is suddenly found well-dressed, with folding money in its pockets.”
They have reached the ground floor. The garages wait below.
With that note of sweet concern that is so characteristic of him, Typhon asks, “Dear boy, are you afraid?”
“Yes.”
Afraid but not terrified. At this moment, in his immortal10 heart, Dunny has no room for terror.
Minutes ago, looking at Ethan and the boy on the stone bench, aware of the love between them and of the future they would share as father and son in everything but name, Dunny had been pierced by a regret sharper than any he had known before. The night that Hannah died, a sorrow flooded through him, almost swept him away, sorrow not only for her, not only at the loss of her, but sorrow for the mess he had made of his life. Sorrow had changed him but had not changed him enough, for it brought him no further than to the point of regret.
[598] This anguish11 that now comes upon him on the way from ground floor to garage is not, in fact, merely a keener regret, but is instead remorse13 so powerful that he feels sharply bitten and torn by guilt14, which is the mother of remorse, feels a terrible gnawing15 in the bones of his spirit. He trembles, shakes, shakes violently with the first true realization16 of the hideous17 impact that his misled life has had on others.
Faces rise in memory, the faces of men he has broken, of women he has treated with unspeakable cruelty, of children who have found their way to a life of drugs and crime and ruin along the path that he has led them, and though these are faces painfully familiar, he sees them as if for the first time because he sees in each face now, as never he had seen before, an individual with hopes and dreams and the potential for good. In his life, all these people had been but the means with which he satisfied his desires and needs, not people at all to him, but merely sources of pleasure and tools to be used.
What had seemed to him to be a fundamental transformation19 of the heart following the death of Hannah had been more sentimental20 self-pity than meaningful change. He had known sorrow, yes, and a degree of regret, but he had not known this fierce remorse and the wracking humility21 that comes with it.
“Dear boy, I understand what you’re going through,” Typhon says as they pass the upper garage. He means the terror that he believes now consumes Dunny, but for Dunny terror is the least of it.
Mere12 remorse is an inadequate22 description, as well, for this is such devastating23 remorse, such a grinding anguish, that he knows no word for it. As the faces plague him, faces from a life squandered24, Dunny asks forgiveness of them, one by one, begs forgiveness with a profound humility that is also new to him, cries out to them though he is dead and cannot make amends25, though many of them died before him and cannot hear how desperately26 he wishes he could undo27 the past.
The elevator has passed the lower of the two garages, and still they [599] descend. They are not in the elevator any longer, merely in the idea of an elevator, and a strange one. The walls are mottled with mold, filth28. The air reeks29. The floor looks like ... compacted bones.
Dunny is aware that changes are occurring in Typhon’s face, that the sweet androgynous features and the merry eyes are giving way to something that better reflects the spirit within the grandfatherly form that he has heretofore assumed. Dunny is aware of this only from the corner of his eye, for he dares not look directly. Dares not.
Floor after floor they descend, though the numbers on the panel above the door run only from one to five.
“I am developing quite an appetite,” Typhon informs him. “As far as I am able to recall—and I’ve got a fine memory—I’ve never been as famished30 as this. I’m positively31 ravenous32.”
Dunny refuses to think about what this might mean, and in fact he is beyond caring. “I have earned whatever comes,” he says, as the faces from his life still haunt his memory, faces in legions.
“Soon,” Typhon says.
Dunny stands in spirit bowed, looking at the floor from which his body had disappeared, ready to accept whatever suffering comes if it will mean an end to this unbearable33 anguish, this gnawing remorse.
“As terrible as this will be,” Typhon says, “perhaps it would have been as bad for you if you had rejected my offer and chosen to wait a thousand years in purgatory34 before moving ... up. You weren’t ready to go directly to the light. The sweet deal I gave you has spared you from so much tedious waiting.”
The elevator slows, stops. Aping signifies arrival, as if they are going nowhere more exotic than to work in an office building.
When the doors slide open, someone enters, but Dunny will not look up at this new arrival. There is room in him for terror now, but still he is not dominated by it.
At the sight of the person who has entered the elevator, Typhon curses explosively, with a rage inhuman35, voice still recognizable but with none of its former humor or charm. He thrusts himself in front [600] of Dunny and says with bitter condemnation36, “We have a bargain. You sold your soul to me, boy, and I gave you more than you asked for.”
By the exertion37 of his greater will, by the awesome38 power at his command, Typhon makes Dunny look at him.
This face.
Oh, this face. This face of ten thousand nightmares distilled39. This face that the mind of no mortal ever could imagine. Had Dunny been alive, the sight of this face would have killed him, and here it withered40 his spirit.
“You asked to save Truman, and you did,” Typhon reminds him in a voice that by the word grows more guttural and more saturated41 with hatred42. “Guardian angel, you told him. Dark angel was nearer the truth. Truman is all you asked, but I gave you the brat43 and Yancy, too. You’re like those Hollywood pooh-bahs in that hotel bar, like the politician and her handlers that I snared44 in San Francisco. You all think you’re clever enough to slip out of the deals you make with me when the time comes to fulfill45 the terms, but all pay in the end. Bargains are not broken here!”
“Leave,” says the new arrival.
Dunny has chosen not to look at this person. If there are worse sights than what Typhon has here become—and surely there will be an infinite progression of far worse sights—he will not look at them by choice but only as he is forced to look, as Typhon forced him.
More insistently46 this time: “Leave.”
Typhon steps out of the elevator, and as Dunny starts to follow him, going to the fate that he has earned and accepted, the doors slide shut, barring his exit, and he is alone with the new arrival.
The elevator begins to move once more, and Dunny trembles at the realization that there may be even deeper realms than the abyss into which Typhon has gone.
“I understand what you’re going through,” the new arrival says, echoing the statement Typhon had made earlier as they had descended47 out of Palazzo Rospo to places stranger still.
[601] When she’d spoken the single word, leave, he had not recognized her voice. Now he does. He knows this must be a trick, a torment48, and he will not look up.
She says, “You’re right that the word remorse can’t describe the anguish that’s come over you, that tears so painfully at your spirit. Neither can sorrow or regret or grief. But you’re wrong to think you don’t know the word, Dunny. You learned it once, and you still know it, although until now it’s been an emotion beyond your experience.”
He loves that voice so much that he can’t forever avert49 his gaze from she who speaks with it. Steeling himself for the discovery that the gentle voice issues from a face as hideous as Typhon’s, he raises his eyes and finds that Hannah looks as beautiful as she did in life.
This surprise is followed by an astonishment50: He has misjudged the motion of the elevator. They are not going down to a darkness even deeper than the darkness visible. They are ascending51.
The walls are no longer encrusted with mold and filth. The air no longer reeks.
With wonder, not yet daring to hope, Dunny says, “How can this be?”
“Words are the world, Dunny. They have meaning, and by virtue52 of the fact that they have meaning, they have power. When you open your heart to sorrow,” Hannah says, “when after sorrow you learn regret, and when after regret you achieve remorse, then beyond remorse lies contrition53, which is the word that describes your anguish now. This is a word of awesome power, Dunny. With this word sincerely in your heart, no hour is too late, no darkness eternal, no stupid bargain binding54 on a man as changed as you.”
She smiles. Her smile is radiant.
The Face.
Her face is lovely, but within it, he sees another Face, as within Typhon had been another, though this visage is not poured from a distillery of nightmares. Impossibly, this Face—the Face—within her face is yet more beautiful than hers, the source of her radiance, so profoundly beautiful that he would be stunned55 breathless if he were [602] not a spirit who had given up breathing when his body had been shorn from him.
The Face of infinite and beautiful complexity56 is also the Face of a mercy that—even now, in his ascendant state—he can’t fully18 comprehend but for which he is inexpressibly grateful.
And yet another amazement: He realizes from Hannah’s expression that she recognizes within his countenance57 the same shining awesome Face that he sees within hers, that in her eyes, he is as radiant as she to him.
“Life is a long road, Dunny, even when it’s cut short. A long road and often hard. But that’s behind you.” She grinned. “Get ready for the next and better ride. Man, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
Ping!
收听单词发音 |
1
suite
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| n.一套(家具)；套房；随从人员 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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suites
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| n.套( suite的名词复数 )；一套房间；一套家具；一套公寓 | |
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cavalry
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| n.骑兵；轻装甲部队 | |
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descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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elasticity
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| n.弹性，伸缩力 | |
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corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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chuckle
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| vi.／n.轻声笑，咯咯笑 | |
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cadaver
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| n.尸体 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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gnawing
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| a.痛苦的，折磨人的 | |
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realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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transformation
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| n.变化；改造；转变 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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inadequate
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| adj.(for,to)不充足的，不适当的 | |
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devastating
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| adj.毁灭性的，令人震惊的，强有力的 | |
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squandered
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| v.（指钱，财产等）浪费，乱花( squander的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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amends
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| n. 赔偿 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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undo
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| vt.解开，松开；取消，撤销 | |
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filth
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| n.肮脏，污物，污秽；淫猥 | |
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reeks
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| n.恶臭( reek的名词复数 )v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的第三人称单数 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
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famished
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| adj.饥饿的 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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ravenous
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| adj.极饿的，贪婪的 | |
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unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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purgatory
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| n.炼狱；苦难；adj.净化的，清洗的 | |
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inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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condemnation
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| n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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awesome
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| adj.令人惊叹的，难得吓人的，很好的 | |
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distilled
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| adj.由蒸馏得来的v.蒸馏( distil的过去式和过去分词 )；从…提取精华 | |
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withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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saturated
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| a.饱和的，充满的 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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brat
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| n.孩子；顽童 | |
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snared
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| v.用罗网捕捉，诱陷，陷害( snare的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fulfill
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| vt.履行，实现，完成；满足，使满意 | |
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insistently
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| ad.坚持地 | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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avert
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| v.防止，避免；转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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ascending
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| adj.上升的，向上的 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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contrition
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| n.悔罪，痛悔 | |
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binding
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| 有约束力的，有效的，应遵守的 | |
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stunned
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| adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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56
complexity
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| n.复杂(性)，复杂的事物 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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