Three of the four study walls were lined with bookshelves, and one of them had been set aside for the various editions, domestic and foreign, of his works. He had published six books in all: five novels and a collection of short stories. The book of short stories and his first two novels had been well received by his immediate1 family and a few friends. His third novel, The Organ-Grinder's Boy, had been an instant best-seller. The early works had been reissued after he became a success, and had done quite well, but they had never been as popular as his later books.
The short-story collection was called Everybody Drops the Dime2, and most of the tales had originally been published in the men's magazines, sandwiched around pictures of women wearing lots of eye make-up and not much else. One of the stories, however, had been published in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine. It was called 'Sowing Season,' and it was to this story he now turned.
A woman who would steal your love when your love was all you had wasn't much of a woman - that, at least, was Tommy Havelock's opinion. He decided3 to kill her. He even knew the place he would do it, the exact place: the little patch of garden she kept in the extreme angle formed where the house and the barn came together.
Mort sat down and worked his way slowly through the two stories, reading back and forth4. By the time he was halfway5 through, he understood he really didn't need to go any further. They varied6 in diction in some places; in many others even that was the same, word for word. Diction aside, they were exactly the same. In both of them, a man killed his wife. In both of them, the wife was a cold, loveless bitch who cared only for her garden and her canning. In both of them, the killer7 buried his spousal victim in her garden and then tended it, growing a really spectacular crop. In Morton Rainey's version, the crop was beans. In Shooter's, it was corn. In both versions, the killer eventually went crazy and was discovered by the police eating vast amounts of the vegetable in question and swearing he would be rid of her, that in the end he would finally be rid of her.
Mort had never considered himself much of a horror-story writer - and there was nothing supernatural about 'Sowing Season' - but it had been a creepy little piece of work all the same. Amy had finished it with a little shiver and said, 'I suppose it's good, but that man's mind ... God, Mort, what a can of worms.'
That had summed up his own feelings pretty well. The landscape of 'Sowing Season' wasn't one he would care to travel through often, and it was no 'Tell-Tale Heart,' but he thought he had done a fair job of painting Tom Havelock's homicidal breakdown8. The editor at EQ had agreed, and so had the readers - the story had generated favorable mail. The editor had asked for more, but Mort had never come up with another story even remotely like 'Sowing Season.'
'I know I can do it,' Tod Downey said, helping9 himself to another ear of corn from the steaming bowl. 'I'm sure that in time all of her will be gone.'
That was how Shooter's ended.
'I am confident I can take care of this business,' Tom Havelock told them, and helped himself to another portion of beans from the brimming, steaming bowl. 'I'm sure that, in time, her death will be a mystery even to me.'
That was how Mort Rainey's ended.
Mort closed his copy of Everybody Drops the Dime and replaced it thoughtfully on his shelf of first editions.
He sat down and began to rummage10 slowly and thoroughly11 through the drawers of his desk. It was a big one, so big the furniture men had had to bring it into the room in sections, and it had a lot of drawers. The desk was solely12 his domain13; neither Amy nor Mrs G. had ever set a hand to it, and the drawers were full of ten years' worth of accumulated rick-rack. It had been four years since Mort had given up smoking, and if there were any cigarettes left in the house, this was where they would be. If he found some, he would smoke. just about now, he was crazy for a smoke. If he didn't find any, that was all right, too; going through his junk was soothing14. Old letters which he'd put aside to answer and never had, what had once seemed so important now looking antique, even arcane15; postcards he'd bought but never mailed; chunks16 of manuscript in varying stages of completion; half a bag of very elderly Doritos; envelopes; paper-clips; cancelled checks. He could sense layers here which were almost geological - layers of summer life frozen in place. And it was soothing. He finished one drawer and went on to the next, thinking all the while about John Shooter and how John Shooter's story - his story, goddammit! - had made him feel.
The most obvious thing, of course, was that it had made him feel like he needed a cigarette. This wasn't the first time he'd felt that way in the last four years; there had been times when just seeing someone puffing17 away behind the wheel of a car next to his at a stoplight could set off a raging momentary18 lust19 for tobacco. But the key word there, of course, was 'momentary.' Those feelings passed in a hurry, like fierce rainsqualls - five minutes after a blinding silver curtain of rain has dropped out of the sky, the sun is shining again. He'd never felt the need to turn in to the next convenience store on his way for a deck of smokes ... or go rummaging20 through his glove compartment21 for a stray or two as he was now rummaging through his desk.
He felt guilty, and that was absurd. Infuriating. He had not stolen John Shooter's story, and he knew he hadn't - if there had been stealing (and there must have been; for the two stories to be that close without prior knowledge on the part of one of the two players was impossible for Mort to believe), then it had been Shooter who had stolen from him.
Of course.
It was as plain as the nose on his face ... or the round black hat on John Shooter's head.
Yet he still felt upset, unsettled, guilty ... he felt at a loss in a way for which there was perhaps no word. And why? Well ... because...
At that moment Mort lifted up a Xerox22 of The Organ-Grinder's Boy manuscript, and there, beneath it, was a package of L & M cigarettes. Did they make L & M's anymore? He didn't know. The pack was old, crumpled23, but definitely not flat. He took it out and looked at it. He reflected that he must have bought this particular pack in 1985, according to the informal science of stratification one might call - for want of a better word - Deskology.
He peered inside the pack. He saw three little coffin24 nails, all in a row.
Time-travellers from another age, Mort thought. He stuck one of the cigarettes in his mouth, then went out into the kitchen to get a match from the box by the stove. Time-travellers from another age, riding up through the years, patient cylindrical25 voyagers, their mission to wait, to persevere26, to bide27 until the proper moment to start me on the road to lung cancer again finally arrives. And it seems the time has finally come.
'It'll probably taste like shit,' he said aloud to the empty house (Mrs Gavin had long since gone home), and set fire to the tip of the cigarette. It didn't taste like shit, though. It tasted pretty good. He wandered back toward his study, puffing away and feeling pleasantly lightheaded. Ah, the dreadful patient persistence28 of addiction29, he thought. What had Hemingway said? Not this August, nor this September - this year you have to do what you like. But the time comes around again. It always does. Sooner or later you stick something back in your big dumb old mouth again. A drink, a smoke, maybe the barrel of a shotgun. Not this August, nor this September ...
... unfortunately, this was October.
At an earlier point in his prospecting30, he had found an old bottle half full of Planter's Peanuts. He doubted if the nuts would be fit to eat, but the lid of the bottle made a fine ashtray31. He sat behind his desk, looked out at the lake (like Mrs G., the boats which had been out there earlier were gone), relished32 his old, vile33 habit, and found he could think about John Shooter and John Shooter's story with a little more equanimity34.
The man was one of the Crazy Folks, of course; that was now proven in brass35 if any further proof had been needed. As to how it had made him feel, finding that the similarity actually existed ...
Well, a story was a thing, a real thing - you could think of it like that, anyway, especially if someone had paid you for it - but in another, more important, way, it wasn't a thing at all. It wasn't like a vase, or a chair, or an automobile36. It was ink on paper, but it wasn't the ink and it wasn't the paper. People sometimes asked him where he got his ideas, and although he scoffed37 at the question, it always made him feel vaguely38 ashamed, vaguely spurious. They seemed to feel there was a Central Idea Dump somewhere (just as there was supposed to be an elephant graveyard39 somewhere, and a fabled40 lost city of gold somewhere else), and he must have a secret map which allowed him to get there and back, but Mort knew better. He could remember where he had been when certain ideas came to him, and he knew that the idea was often the result of seeing or sensing some odd connection between objects or events or people which had never seemed to have the slightest connection before, but that was the best he could do. As to why he should see these connections or want to make stories out of them after he had ... to that he hadn't a clue.
If John Shooter had come to his door and said 'You stole my car' instead of 'You stole my story,' Mort would have scotched41 the idea quickly and decisively. He could have done it even if the two cars in question had been the same year, make, model, and color. He would have shown the man in the round black hat his automobile registration42, invited him to compare the number on the pink slip to the one on the doorpost, and sent him packing.
But when you got a story idea, no one gave you a bill of sale. There was no provenance43 to be traced. Why would there be? Nobody gave you a bill of sale when you got something for free. You charged whoever wanted to buy that thing from you - oh yes, all the traffic would bear, and a little more than that, if you could, to make up for all the times the bastards44 shorted you - magazines, newspapers, book publishers, movie companies. But the item came to you free, clear, and unencumbered. That was it, he decided. That was why he felt guilty even though he knew he hadn't plagiarized45 Farmer John Shooter's story. He felt guilty because writing stories had always felt a little bit like stealing, and probably always would. John Shooter just happened to be the first person to show up on his doorstep and accuse him of it right out loud. He thought that, subconsciously46, he had been expecting something like this for years.
Mort crushed out his cigarette and decided to take a nap. Then he decided that was a bad idea. It would be better, healthier both mentally and physically47, to eat some lunch ' read for half an hour or so, and then go for a nice long walk down by the lake. He was sleeping too much, and sleeping too much was a sign of depression. Halfway to the kitchen, he deviated48 to the long sectional couch by the window-wall in the living room. The hell with it, he thought, putting a pillow under his neck and another one behind his head. I Am depressed49.
His last thought before drifting off was a repeat: He's not done with me yet. Oh no, not this guy. He's a repeater.
收听单词发音 |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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dime
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| n.（指美国、加拿大的钱币）一角 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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halfway
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| adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途 | |
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varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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killer
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| n.杀人者，杀人犯，杀手，屠杀者 | |
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breakdown
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| n.垮，衰竭；损坏，故障，倒塌 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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rummage
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| v./n.翻寻，仔细检查 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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domain
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| n.(活动等)领域，范围；领地，势力范围 | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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arcane
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| adj.神秘的，秘密的 | |
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chunks
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| 厚厚的一块( chunk的名词复数 )； （某物）相当大的数量或部分 | |
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puffing
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| v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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rummaging
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| 翻找，搜寻( rummage的现在分词 )； 海关检查 | |
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compartment
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| n.卧车包房，隔间；分隔的空间 | |
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xerox
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| n./v.施乐复印机，静电复印 | |
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crumpled
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| adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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coffin
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| n.棺材，灵柩 | |
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cylindrical
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| adj.圆筒形的 | |
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persevere
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| v.坚持，坚忍，不屈不挠 | |
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bide
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| v.忍耐；等候；住 | |
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persistence
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| n.坚持，持续，存留 | |
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addiction
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| n.上瘾入迷，嗜好 | |
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prospecting
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| n.探矿 | |
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ashtray
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| n.烟灰缸 | |
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relished
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| v.欣赏( relish的过去式和过去分词 )；从…获得乐趣；渴望 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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equanimity
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| n.沉着，镇定 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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automobile
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| n.汽车，机动车 | |
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scoffed
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| 嘲笑，嘲弄( scoff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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graveyard
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| n.坟场 | |
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fabled
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| adj.寓言中的，虚构的 | |
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scotched
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| v.阻止( scotch的过去式和过去分词 )；制止（车轮）转动；弄伤；镇压 | |
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registration
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| n.登记，注册，挂号 | |
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provenance
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| n.出处；起源 | |
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bastards
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| 私生子( bastard的名词复数 )； 坏蛋； 讨厌的事物； 麻烦事 （认为别人走运或不幸时说）家伙 | |
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plagiarized
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| v.剽窃，抄袭( plagiarize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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subconsciously
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| ad.下意识地，潜意识地 | |
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physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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deviated
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| v.偏离，越轨( deviate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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