A man and his son, Earl Angstrom and Harry22, are among the printers released from work. The father is near retirement23, a thin man with no excess left to him, his face washed empty by grievances24 and caved in above the protruding25 slippage of bad false teeth. The son is five inches taller and fatter; his prime is soft, somehow pale and sour. The small nose and slightly lifted upper lip that once made the nickname Rabbit fit now seem, along with the thick waist and cautious stoop bred into him by a decade of the Linotyper's trade, clues to weakness, a weakness verging26 on anonymity27. Though his height, his bulk, and a remnant alertness in the way he moves his head continue to distinguish him on the street, years have passed since anyone has called him Rabbit.
"Harry, how about a quick one?" his father asks. At the corner where their side street meets Weiser there is a bus stop and a bar, the Phoenix29, with a girl nude30 but for cowboy boots in neon outside and cactuses painted on the dim walls inside. Their buses when they take them go in opposite directions: the old man takes number 16A around the mountain to the town of Mt. Judge, where he has lived his life, and Harry takes number 12 in the opposite direction to Penn Villas31, a new development west of the city, ranch32 houses and quarter?acre lawns contoured as the bulldozer left them and maple33 saplings tethered to the earth as if otherwise they might fly away. He moved there with Janice and Nelson three years ago. His father still feels the move out of Mt. Judge as a rejection34, and so most afternoons they have a drink together to soften35 the day's parting. Working together ten years, they have grown into the love they would have had in Harry's childhood, had not his mother loomed36 so large between them.
"Make it a Schlitz," Earl tells the bartender.
"Daiquiri," Harry says. The air?conditioning is turned so far up he unrolls his shirt cuffs37 and buttons them for warmth. He always wears a white shirt to work and after, as a way of cancelling the ink. Ritually, he asks his father how his mother is.
But his father declines to make a ritual answer. Usually he says, "As good as can be hoped." Today he sidles a conspiratorial38 inch closer at the bar and says, "Not as good as could be hoped, Harry."
She has had Parkinson's Disease for years now. Harry's mind slides away from picturing her, the way she has become, the loosely fluttering knobbed hands, the shuffling39 sheepish walk, the eyes that study him with vacant amazement40 though the doctor says her mind is as good as ever in there, and the mouth that wanders open and forgets to close until saliva41 reminds it. "At nights, you mean?" The very question offers to hide her in darkness.
Again the old man blocks Rabbit's desire to slide by. "No, the nights are better now. They have her on a new pill and she says she sleeps better now. It's in her mind, more."
"What is, Pop?"
"We don't talk about it, Harry, it isn't in her nature, it isn't the type of thing she and I have ever talked about. Your mother and I have just let a certain type of thing go unsaid, it was the way we were brought up, maybe it would have been better if we hadn't, I don't know. I mean things now they've put into her mind."
"Who's this they?" Harry sighs into the Daiquiri foam42 and thinks, He's going too, they're both going. Neither makes enough sense. As his father pushes closer against him to explain, he becomes one of the hundreds of skinny whining43 codgers in and around this city, men who have sucked this same brick tit for sixty years and have dried up with it.
"Why, the ones who come to visit her now she spends half the day in bed. Mamie Kellog, for one. Julia Arndt's another. I hate like the Jesus to bother you with it, Harry, but her talk is getting wild and with Mim on the West Coast you're the only one to help me straighten out my own mind. I hate to bother you but her talk is getting so wild she even talks of telephoning Janice."
"Janice! Why would she call Janice?"
"Well." A pull on the Schlitz. A wiping of the wet upper lip with the bony back of the hand, fingers half?clenched44 in an old man's clutching way. A loose?toothed grimacing45 getting set to dive in. "Well the talk is about Janice."
"My Janice?"
"Now Harry, don't blow your lid. Don't blame the bearer of bad tidings. I'm trying to tell you what they say, not what I believe."
"I'm just surprised there's anything to say. I hardly see her any more, now that she's over at Springer's lot all the time."
"Well, that's it. That may be your mistake, Harry. You've taken Janice for granted ever since ? the time." The time he left her. The time the baby died. The time she took him back. "Ten years ago," his father needlessly adds. Harry is beginning, here in this cold bar with cactuses in plastic pots on the shelves beneath the mirrors and the little Schlitz spinner doing its polychrome parabola over and over, to feel the world turn. A hopeful coldness inside him grows, grips his wrists inside his cuffs. The news isn't all in, a new combination might break it open, this stale peace.
"Harry, the malice46 of people surpasses human understanding in my book, and the poor soul has no defenses against it, there she lies and has to listen. Ten years ago, wouldn't she have laid them out? Wouldn't her tongue have cut them down? They've told her that Janice is running around. With one certain man, Harry. Nobody claims she's playing the field."
The coldness spreads up Rabbit's arms to his shoulders, and down the tree of veins48 toward his stomach. "Do they name the man?"
"Not to my knowledge, Harry. How could they now, when in all likelihood there is no man?"
"Well, if they can make up the idea, they can make up a name."
The bar television is running, with the sound turned off. For the twentieth time that day the rocket blasts off, the numbers pouring backwards49 in tenths of seconds faster than the eye until zero is reached: then the white boiling beneath the tall kettle, the lifting so slow it seems certain to tip, the swift diminishment into a retreating speck8, a jiggling star. The men dark along the bar murmur50 among themselves. They have not been lifted, they are left here. Harry's father mutters at him, prying51. "Has she seemed any different to you lately, Harry? Listen, I know in all probability it's what they call a crock of shit, but ? has she seemed any, you know, different lately?"
It offends Rabbit to hear his father swear; he lifts his head fastidiously, as if to watch the television, which has returned to a program where people are trying to guess what sort of prize is hidden behind a curtain and jump and squeal52 and kiss each other when it turns out to be an eight?foot frozen?food locker53. He might be wrong but for a second he could swear this young housewife opens her mouth in mid21?kiss and gives the m.c. a taste of her tongue. Anyway, she won't stop kissing. The m.c.'s eyes roll out to the camera for merry and they cut to a commercial. In silence images of spaghetti and some opera singer riffle past. "I don't know," Rabbit says. "She hits the bottle pretty well sometimes but then so do L"
"Not you," the old man tells him, "you're no drinker, Harry. I've seen drinkers all my life, somebody like Boonie over in engraving54, there's a drinker, killing55 himself with it, and he knows it, he couldn't stop if they told him he'd die tomorrow. You may have a whisky or two in the evening, you're no spring chicken anymore, but you're no drinker." He hides his loose mouth in his beer and Harry taps the bar for another Daiquiri. The old man nuzzles closer. "Now Harry, forgive me for asking if you don't want to talk about it, but how about in bed? That goes along pretty well, does it?"
"No," he answers slowly, disdainful of this prying, "I wouldn't exactly say well. Tell me about Mom. Has she had any of those breathing fits lately?"
"Not a one that I've been woken up for. She sleeps like a baby with those new green pills. This new medicine is a miracle, I must admit? ten more years the only way to kill us'll be to gas us to death, Hitler had the right idea. Already, you know, there aren't any more crazy people: just give 'em a pill morning and evening and they're sensible as Einstein. You wouldn't exactly say it does, go along O.K., is that what I understood you said?"
"Well we've never been that great, Pop, frankly56. Does she fall down ever? Mom."
"She may take a tumble or two in the day and not tell me about it. I tell her, I tell her, stay in bed and watch the box. She has this theory the longer she can do things the longer she'll stay out of bed for good. I figure she should take care of herself, put herself in deep freeze, and in a year or two in all likelihood they'll develop a pill that'll clear this up simple as a common cold. Already, you know, some of these cortisones; but the doctor tells us they don't know but what the side effects may be worse. You know: the big C. My figuring is, take the chance, they're just about ready to lick cancer anyway and with these transplants pretty soon they can replace your whole insides." The old man hears himself talking too much and slumps57 to stare into his empty beer, the suds sliding down, but can't help adding, to give it all point, "It's a terrible thing." And when Harry fails to respond: "God she hates not being active."
The rum is beginning to work. Rabbit has ceased to feel cold, his heart is beginning to lift off. The air in here seems thinner, his eyes adjusting to the dark. He asks, "How's her mind? You aren't saying they should star giving her crazy pills."
"In honest truth, I won't lie to you Harry, it's as clear as a bell, when her tongue can find the words. And as I say she's gotten hipped58 lately on this Janice idea. It would help a lot, Jesus I hate to bother you but it's the truth, it would help a lot if you and Janice could spare the time to come over tonight. Not seeing you too often her imagination's free to wander. Now I know you've promised Sunday for her birthday, but think of it this way: if you're stuck in bed with nobody but the idiot box and a lot of malicious59 biddies for company a week can seem a year. If you could make it up there some evening before the weekend, bring Janice along so Mary could look at her ? "
"I'd like to, Pop. You know I would."
"I know, Jesus I know. I know more than you think. You're at just the age to realize your old man's not the dope you always thought he was."
"The trouble is, Janice works in the lot office until ten, eleven all the time and I don't like to leave the kid alone in the house. In fact I better be getting back there now just in case." In case it's burned down. In case a madman has moved in. These things happen all the time in the papers. He can read in his father's face ? a fishy61 pinching?in at the corners of the mouth, a tightened62 veiling of the washed?out eyes ? the old man's suspicions confirmed. Rabbit sees red. Meddling63 old crock. Janice: who'd have that mutt? In love with her father and there she stuck. Happy as a Girl Scout64 since she began to fill in at the lot, half these summer nights out way past supper, TV dinners, tuck Nelson in alone and wait up for her to breeze in blooming and talkative; he's never known her to be so full of herself, in a way it does his heart good. He resents his father trying to get at him with Janice and hits back with the handiest weapon, Mom. "This doctor you have, does he ever mention a nursing home?"
The old man's mind is slow making the switch back to his own wife. Harry has a thought, a spark like where train wheels run over a track switch. Did Mom ever do it to Pop? Play him false. All this poking65 around about life in bed hints at some experience. Hard to imagine, not only who with but when, she was always in the house as long as he could remember, nobody ever came to visit but the brush man and the Jehovah's Witnesses, yet the thought excites him, like Pop's rumor66 chills him, opens up possibilities. Pop is saying, ". . . at the beginning. We want to hold off at least until she's bedridden. If we reach the point where she can't take care of herself before I'm on retirement and there all day, it's an option we might be forced into. I'd hate to see it, though. Jesus I'd hate to see it."
"Hey Pop ? ?"
"Here's my forty cents. Plus a dime67 for the tip." The way the old man's hand clings curlingly to the quarters in offering them betrays that they are real silver to him instead of just cut?copper68 sandwich?coins that ring flat on the bar top. Old values. The Depression when money was money. Never be sacred again, not even dimes69 are silver now. Kennedy's face killed half?dollars, took them out of circulation and they've never come back. The metal got sent to the moon. The niggling business of settling their bill delays his question about Mom until they are outdoors and then he sees he can't ask it, he doesn't know his father that well. Out here in the hot light his father has lost all sidling intimacy70 and looks merely old ? liverish scoops71 below his eyes, broken veins along the sides of his nose, his hair the no?color of cardboard. "What'd you want to ask me?"
"I forget," Harry says, and sneezes. Coming into this heat from that air?conditioning sets off an explosion between his eyes that turns heads around halfway72 down the block and leaves his nostrils73 weeping. "No, I remember. The nursing home. How can we afford it? ? fifty bucks74 a day or whatever. It'll suck us right down the drain."
His father laughs, with a sudden snap to retrieve75 his slipping teeth, and does a little shuffling dance?step, right here on the baking sidewalk, beneath the white?on?red BUS STOP sign that people have scratched and lipsticked to read PUS DROP. "Harry, God in His way hasn't been all bad to your mother and me. Believe it or not there's some advantages to living so long in this day and age. This Sunday she's going to be sixty?five and come under Medicare. I've been paying in since '66, it's like a ton of anxiety rolled off my chest. There's no medical expense can break us now. They called LBJ every name in the book but believe me he did a lot of good for the little man. Wherever he went wrong, it was his big heart betrayed him. These pretty boys in the sky right now, Nixon'll hog76 the credit but it was the Democrats77 put 'em there, it's been the same story ever since I can remember, ever since Wilson ? the Republicans don't do a thing for the little man."
"Right," Harry says blankly. His bus is coming. "Tell her we'll be over Sunday." He pushes to a clear space at the back where, looking out while hanging onto the bar, he sees his father as one of the "little men." Pop stands whittled78 by the great American glare, squinting79 in the manna of blessings82 that come down from the government, shuffling from side to side in nervous happiness that his day's work is done, that a beer is inside him, that Armstrong is above him, that the U.S. is the crown and stupefaction of human history. Like a piece of grit83 in the launching pad, he has done his part. Still, he has been the one to keep his health; who would have thought Mom would fail first? Rabbit's mind, as the bus dips into its bag of gears and surges and shudders84, noses closer into the image of her he keeps like a dreaded85 relic86: the black hair gone gray, the mannish mouth too clever for her life, the lozenge?shaped nostrils that to him as a child suggested a kind of soreness within, the eyes whose color he had never dared to learn closed bulge87?lidded in her failing, the whole long face, slightly shining as if with sweat, lying numbed88 on the pillow. He can't bear to see her like this is the secret of his seldom visiting, not Janice. The source of his life staring wasted there while she gropes for the words to greet him. And that gentle tawny89 smell of sickness that doesn't even stay in her room but comes downstairs to meet them in the front hall among the umbrellas and follows them into the kitchen where poor Pop warms their meals. A smell like gas escaping, that used to worry her so when he and Mim were little. He bows his head and curtly90 prays, Forgive me, forgive us, make it easy for her. Amen. He only ever prays on buses. Now this bus has that smell.
The bus has too many Negroes. Rabbit notices them more and more. They've been here all along, as a tiny kid he remembers streets in Brewer you held your breath walking through, though they never hurt you, just looked; but now they're noisier. Instead of bald?looking heads they're bushy. That's O.K., it's more Nature, Nature is what we're running out of. Two of the men in the shop are Negroes, Farnsworth and Buchanan, and after a while you didn't even notice; at least they remember how to laugh. Sad business, being a Negro man, always underpaid, their eyes don't look like our eyes, bloodshot, brown, liquid in them about to quiver out. Read somewhere some anthropologist91 thinks Negroes instead of being more primitive92 are the latest thing to evolve, the newest men. In some ways tougher, in some ways more delicate. Certainly dumber but then being smart hasn't amounted to so much, the atom bomb and the one?piece aluminum93 beer can. And you can't say Bill Cosby's stupid.
But against these educated tolerant thoughts leans a certain fear; he doesn't see why they have to be so noisy. The four seated right under him, jabbing and letting their noise come out in big silvery hoops94; they know damn well they're bugging96 the fat Dutchy wives pulling their shopping bags home. Well, that's kids of any color: but strange. They are a strange race. Not only their skins but the way they're put together, loose?jointed97 like lions, strange about the head, as if their thoughts are a different shape and come out twisted even when they mean no menace. It's as if, all these Afro hair bushes and gold earrings98 and hoopy noise on buses, seeds of some tropical plant sneaked99 in by the birds were taking over the garden. His garden. Rabbit knows it's his garden and that's why he's put a flag decal on the back window of the Falcon100 even though Janice says it's corny and fascist101. In the papers you read about these houses in Connecticut where the parents are away in the Bahamas and the kids come in and smash it up for a party. More and more this country is getting like that. As if it just grew here instead of people laying down their lives to build it.
The bus works its way down Weiser and crosses the Running Horse River and begins to drop people instead of taking them on. The city with its tired five and dimes (that used to be a wonderland, the counters as high as his nose and the Big Little Books smelling like Christmas) and its Kroll's Department Store (where he once worked knocking apart crates102 behind the furniture department) and its flowerpotted traffic circle where the trolley103 tracks used to make a clanging star of intersection104 and then the empty dusty windows where stores have been starved by the suburban105 shopping malls and the sad narrow places that come and go called Go?Go or Boutique and the funeral parlors106 with imitation granite faces and the surplus outlets108 and a shoeshine parlor107 that sells hot roasted peanuts and Afro newspapers printed in Philly crying MBOYA MARTYRED and a flower shop where they sell numbers and protection and a variety store next to a pipe?rack clothing retailer109 next to a corner dive called JIMBO's Friendly LOUNGE, cigarette ends of the city snuffed by the bridge ? the city gives way, after the flash of open water that in his youth was choked with coal silt110 (a man once tried to commit suicide from this bridge but stuck there up to his hips111 until the police pulled him out) but that now has been dredged and supports a flecking of moored112 pleasure boats, to West Brewer, a gappy imitation of the city, the same domino?thin houses of brick painted red, but spaced here and there by the twirlers of a car lot, the pumps and blazoned113 overhang of a gas station, the lakelike depth of a supermarket parking lot crammed114 with shimmering115 fins116. Surging and spitting, the bus, growing lighter117, the Negroes vanishing, moves toward a dream of spaciousness118, past residential119 fortresses120 with sprinkled lawn around all four sides and clipped hydrangeas above newly pointed121 retaining walls, past a glimpse of the museum whose gardens were always in blossom and where the swans ate the breadcrusts schoolchildren threw them, then a glimpse of the sunstruck windows, pumpkin122 orange blazing in reflection, of the tall new wing of the County Hospital for the Insane. Closer at hand, the West Brewer Dry Cleaners, a toy store calling itself Hobby Heaven, a Rialto movie house with a stubby marquee: 2001 SPACE OD'SEY. Weiser Street curves, becomes a highway, dips into green suburbs where in the Twenties little knights123 of industry built half?timbered dream?houses, pebbled124 mortar125 and clinker brick, stucco flaky as pie crust, witch's houses of candy and hardened cookie dough126 with two?car garages and curved driveways. In Brewer County, but for a few baronial estates ringed by iron fences and moated by miles of lawn, there is nowhere higher to go than these houses; the most successful dentists may get to buy one, the pushiest127 insurance salesmen, the slickest ophthalmologists. This section even has another name, distinguishing itself from West Brewer: Penn Park. Penn Villas echoes the name hopefully, though it is not incorporated into this borough128 but sits on the border of Furnace Township, looking in. The township, where once charcoal129?fed furnaces had smelted130 the iron for Revolutionary muskets131, is now still mostly farmland, and its few snowplows and single sheriff can hardly cope with this ranch?house village of muddy lawns and potholed macadam and sub?code sewers132 the developers suddenly left in its care.
Rabbit gets off at a stop in Penn Park and walks down a street of mock Tudor, Emberly Avenue, to where the road surface changes at the township line, and becomes Emberly Drive in Penn Villas. He lives on Vista133 Crescent, third house from the end. Once there may have been here a vista, a softly sloped valley of red barns and fieldstone farmhouses134, but more Penn Villas has been added and now the view from any window is as into a fragmented mirror, of houses like this, telephone wires and television aerials showing where the glass cracked. His house is faced with applegreen aluminum clapboards and is numbered 26. Rabbit steps onto his flagstone porchlet and opens his door with its three baby windows arranged like three steps, echoing the door?chime of three stepped tones.
"Hey Dad," his son calls from the living room, a room on his right the size of what used to be called a parlor, with a fireplace they never use. "They've left earth's orbit! They're forty?three thousand miles away."
"Lucky them," he says. "Your mother here?"
"No. At school they let us all into assembly to see the launch."
"She call at all?"
"Not since I've been here. I just got in a while ago." Nelson, at twelve, is under average height, with his mother's dark complexion135, and something finely cut and wary136 about his face that may come from the Angstroms. His long eyelashes come from nowhere, and his shoulder?length hair is his own idea. Somehow, Rabbit feels, if he were taller it would be all right, to have hair so long. As is, the resemblance to a girl is frightening.
"Whadja do all day?"
The same television program, of people guessing and getting and squealing137 and kissing the m.c., is still going on.
"Nothing much."
"Go to the playground?"
"For a while."
"Then where?"
"Oh, over to West Brewer, just to hang around Billy's apartment. Hey, Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"His father got him a mini?bike for his birthday. It's real cool. With that real long front part so you have to reach up for the handles."
"You rode it?"
"He only let me once. It's all shiny, there isn't a speck of paint on it, it's just metal, with a white banana seat."
"He's older than you, isn't he?"
"By four months. That's all. Just four months, Dad. I'm going to be thirteen in three months."
"Where does he ride it? It's not legal on the street, is it?"
"Their building has a big parking lot he rides it all around. Nobody says anything. It only cost a hundred?eighty dollars, Dad."
"Keep talking, I'm getting a beer."
The house is small enough so that the boy can be heard by his father in the kitchen, his voice mixed with gleeful greedy spurts138 from the television and the chunky suck of the refrigerator door opening and shutting. "Hey Dad, something I don't understand."
"Shoot."
"I thought the Fosnachts were divorced."
"Separated."
"Then how come his father keeps getting him all this neat junk? You ought to see the hi?fi set he has, that's all his, for his room, not even to share. Four speakers, Dad, and earphones. The earphones are fantastic. It's like you're way inside Tiny Tim."
"That's the place to be," Rabbit says, coming into the living room. "Want a sip139?"
The boy takes a sip from the can, putting a keyhole width of foam on the fuzz of his upper lip, and makes a bitter face.
Harry explains, "When people get divorced the father doesn't stop liking140 the kids, he just can't live with them any more. The reason Fosnacht keeps getting Billy all this expensive crap is probably he feels guilty for leaving him."
"Why did they get separated, Dad, do you know?"
"Beats me. The bigger riddle141 is, why did they ever get married?" Rabbit knew Peggy Fosnacht when she was Peggy Gring, a big?assed28 walleyed girl in the middle row always waving her hand in the air because she thought she had the answer. Fosnacht he knows less well: a weedy little guy always shrugging his shoulders, used to play the saxophone in prom bands, now a partner in a music store on the upper end of Weiser Street, used to be called Chords 'n' Records, now Fidelity142 Audio. At the discount Fosnacht got, Billy's hi?fi set must have cost next to nothing. Like these prizes they keep socking into these young shriekers. The one that French?kissed the m.c. is off now and a colored couple is guessing. Pale, but definitely colored. That's O.K., let 'em guess, win, and shriek143 with the rest of us. Better that than sniping from rooftops. Still, he wonders how that black bride would be. Big lips, suck you right off; the men are slow as Jesus, long as whips, takes everything to get them up, in there forever, that's why white women need them, white men too quick about it, have to get on with the job, making America great. Rabbit loves, on Laugh?In, when Teresa does the go?go bit, the way they paint the words in white on her skin. When they watch, Janice and Nelson are always asking him what the words are; since he took up the printer's trade he can read like a flash, upside down, mirror?wise too: he always had good quick eyes, Tothero used to tell him he could see the ball through the holes of his ears, to praise him. A great secret sly praiser, Tothero. Dead now. The game different now, everything the jump shot, big looping hungry blacks lifting and floating there a second while a pink palm long as your forearm launched the ball. He asks Nelson, "Why don't you stay at the playground anymore? When I was your age I'd be playing Horse and Twenty?one all day long."
"Yeah, but you were good. You were tall." Nelson used to be crazy for sports. Little League, intramural. But lately he isn't. Rabbit blames it on a scrapbook his own mother kept, of his basketball days in the late Forties, when he set some county records: last winter every time they would go visit Mt. Judge Nelson would ask to get it out and lie on the floor with it, those old dry?yellow games, the glue dried so the pages crackle being turned, MT. JUDGE TOPPLES ORIOLE, ANGSTROM HITS FOR 37, just happening for the kid, that happened twenty years ago, light from a star.
"I got tall," Rabbit tells him. "At your age I wasn't much taller than you are." A lie, but not really. A few inches. In a world where inches matter. Putts. Fucks. Orbits. Squaring up a form. He feels bad about Nelson's height. His own never did him much good, if he could take five inches off himself and give them to Nelson he would. If it didn't hurt.
"Anyway, Dad, sports are square now. Nobody does it."
"Well, what isn't square now? Besides pill?popping and draftdodging. And letting your hair grow down into your eyes. Where the hell is your mother? I'm going to call her. Turn the frigging TV down for once in your life."
David Frost has replaced The Match Game so Nelson turns it off entirely144. Harry regrets the scared look that glimmered145 across the kid's face: like the look on his father's face when he sneezed on the street. Christ they're even scared to let him sneeze. His son and father seem alike fragile and sad to him. That's the trouble with caring about anybody, you begin to feel overprotective. Then you begin to feel crowded.
The telephone is on the lower of a set of see?through shelves that in theory divides the living room from a kind of alcove146 they call a breakfast nook. A few cookbooks sit on them but Janice has never to his knowledge looked into them, just dishes up the same fried chicken and tasteless steak and peas and French fries she's always dished up. Harry dials the familiar number and a familiar voice answers. "Springer Motors. Mr. Stavros speaking."
"Charlie, hi. Hey, is Janice around?"
"Sure is, Harry. How's tricks?" Stavros is a salesman and always has to say something.
"Tricky," Rabbit answers.
"Hold on, friend. The good woman's right here." Off phone, his voice calls, "Pick it up. It's your old man."
Another receiver is lifted. Through the knothole of momentary147 silence Rabbit sees the office: the gleaming display cars on the showroom floor, old man Springer's frosted?glass door shut, the green?topped counter with the three steel desks behind: Stavros at one, Janice at another, and Mildred Kroust the bookkeeper Springer has had for thirty years at the one in between, except she's usually out sick with some sort of female problem she's developed late in life, so her desk top is empty and bare but for wire baskets and a spindle and a blotter. Rabbit can also see last year's puppydog calendar on the wall and the cardboard cutout of the Toyota station wagon148 on the old coffee?colored safe, behind the Christmas tree. The last time he was at Springer's lot was for their Christmas party. Springer is so tickled149 to get the Toyota franchise150 after years of dealing151 in second?hand he has told Harry he feels "like a kid at Christmas all year round." He tried ten years ago to turn Rabbit into a car salesman but in the end Harry opted152 to follow his own father into honest work. "Harry sweet," Janice says, and he does hear something new in her voice, a breathy lilt of faint hurry, of a song he has interrupted her singing. "You're going to scold me, aren't you?"
"No, the kid and I were just wondering if and if so when the hell we're going to get a home?cooked meal around here."
"Oh I know," she sings, "I hate it too, it's just that with Mildred out so much we've had to go into her books, and her system is really zilch." Zilch: he hears another voice in hers. "Honestly," she sings on, "if it turns out she's been swindling Daddy of millions none of us will be surprised."
"Yeah. Look, Janice. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun over there
"Fun? I'm working, sweetie."
"Sure. Now what the fuck is really going on?"
"What do you mean, going on? Nothing is going on except your wife is trying to bring home a little extra bread." Bread? " `Going on' ? really. You may think your seven or whatever dollars an hour you get for sitting in the dark diddling that machine is wonderful money, Harry, but the fact is a hundred dollars doesn't buy anything anymore, it just goes."
"Jesus, why am I getting this lecture on inflation? All I want to know is why my wife is never home to cook the fucking supper for me and the fucking kid."
"Harry, has somebody been bugging you about me?"
"Bugging? How would they do that? Janice. Just tell me, shall I put two TV dinners in the oven or what?"
A pause, during which he has a vision: sees her wings fold up, her song suspended: imagines himself soaring, rootless, free. An old premonition, dim. Janice says, with measured words, so he feels as when a child watching his mother levelling tablespoons of sugar into a bowl of batter153, "Could you, sweet? Just for tonight? We're in the middle of a little crisis here, frankly. It's too complicated to explain, but we have to get some figures firm or we can't do the paychecks tomorrow."
"Who's this we? Your father there?"
"Oh sure."
"Could I talk to him a second?"
"Why? He's out on the lot."
"I want to know if he got those tickets for the Blasts game. The kid's dying to go."
"Well, actually, I don't see him, I guess he's gone home for supper."
"So it's just you and Charlie there."
"Other people are in and out. We're desperately154 trying to untangle this mess Mildred made. This is the last night, Harry, I promise. I'll be home between eight and nine, and then tomorrow night let's all go to a movie together. That space thing is still in West Brewer, I noticed this morning driving in."
Rabbit is suddenly tired, of this conversation, of everything. Confusing energy surrounds him. A man's appetites diminish, but the world's never. "O.K. Be home when you can. But we got to talk."
"I'd love to talk, Harry." From her tone she assumes "talk" means fuck, when he did mean talk. She hangs up: a satisfied impatient sound.
He opens another beer. The pull?tab breaks, so he has to find the rusty155 old church key underneath156 everything in the knife drawer. He heats up two Salisbury steak dinners; while waiting for the oven to preheat to 400°, he reads the ingredients listed on the package: water, beef, peas, dehydrated potato flakes157, bread crumbs158, mushrooms, flour, butter, margarine, salt, maltodextrin, tomato paste, corn starch159, Worcestershire sauce, hydrolyzed vegetable protein, monosodium glutamate, nonfat dry milk, dehydrated onions, flavoring, sugar, caramel color, spice, cysteine and thiamine hydrochloride, gum arabic. There is no clue from the picture on the tinfoil160 where all this stuff fits in. He always thought gum arabic was something you erased161 with. Thirty?six years old and he knows less than when he started. With the difference that now he knows how little he'll always know. He'll never know how to talk Chinese or how screwing an African princess feels. The six o'clock news is all about space, all about emptiness: some bald man plays with little toys to show the docking and undocking maneuvers162, and then a panel talks about the significance of this for the next five hundred years. They keep mentioning Columbus but as far as Rabbit can see it's the exact opposite: Columbus flew blind and hit something, these guys see exactly where they're aiming and it's a big round nothing. The Salisbury steak tastes of preservative163 and Nelson eats only a few bites. Rabbit tries to joke him into it: "Can't watch TV without a TV dinner." They channel?hop10, trying to find something to hold them, but there is nothing, it all slides past until, after nine, on Carol Burnett, she and Gomer Pyle do an actually pretty funny skit165 about the Lone60 Ranger166. It takes Rabbit back to when he used to sit in the radiolistening armchair back on Jackson Road, its arms darkened with greasespots from the peanut?butter cracker168?sandwiches he used to stack there to listen with. Mom used to have a fit. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night The Lone Ranger came on at seven?thirty, and if it was summer you'd come in from kickthe?can or three?stops?or?a?catch and the neighborhood would grow quiet all across the back yards and then at eight the doors would slam and the games begin again, those generous summer days, just enough dark to fit sleep into, a war being fought across oceans so he could spin out his days in such happiness, in such quiet growing. Eating Wheaties, along with Jack167 Armstrong, and Jell?O, which brought you Jack Benny.
In this skit the Lone Ranger has a wife. She stamps around a cabin saying how she hates housework, hates her lonely life. "You're never home," she says, "you keep disappearing in a cloud of dust with a hearty169 `Heigh?ho, Silver.' " The unseen audience laughs, Rabbit laughs. Nelson doesn't see what's so funny. Rabbit tells him, "That's how they always used to introduce the program."
The kid says crossly, "I know, Dad," and Rabbit loses the thread of the skit a little, there has been a joke he didn't hear, whose laughter is dying.
Now the Lone Ranger's wife is complaining that Daniel Boone brings his wife beautiful furs, but "What do I ever get from you? A silver bullet." She opens a door and a bushel of silver bullets comes crashing out and floods the floor. For the rest of the skit Carol Burnett and Gomer Pyle and the man who plays Tonto (not Sammy Davis Jr. but another TV Negro) keep slipping and crunching170 on these bullets, by accident. Rabbit thinks of the millions who are watching, the millions the sponsors are paying, and still nobody took time to realize that this would happen, a mess of silver bullets on the floor.
Tonto tells the Lone Ranger, "Better next time, put?um bullet in gun first."
The wife turns to complaining about Tonto. "Him. Why must we always keep having him to dinner? He never has us back."
Tonto tells her that if she comes to his teepee, she would be kidnapped by seven or eight braves. Instead of being frightened, she is interested. She rolls those big Burnett eyes and says, "Let's go, que más sabe."
Nelson asks, "Dad, what's que más Babe?"
Rabbit is surprised to have to say, "I don't know. Something like `good friend' or `boss,' I suppose." Indeed come to think of it he understands nothing about Tonto. The Lone Ranger is a white man, so law and order on the range will work to his benefit, but what about Tonto? A Judas to his race, the more disinterested171 and lonely and heroic figure of virtue172. When did he get his pay?off? Why was he faithful to the masked stranger? In the days of the war one never asked. Tonto was simply on "the side of right." It seemed a correct dream then, red and white together, red loving white as naturally as stripes in the flag. Where has "the side of right" gone? He has missed several jokes while trying to answer Nelson. The skit is approaching its climax173. The wife is telling the Lone Ranger, "You must choose between him or me." Arms folded, she stands fierce.
The Lone Ranger's pause for decision is not long. "Saddle up, Tonto," he says. He puts on the phonograph a record of the William Tell Overture174 and both men leave. The wife tiptoes over, a bullet crunching underfoot, and changes the record to "Indian Love Call." Tonto enters from the other side of the screen. He and she kiss and hug. "I've always been interested," Carol Burnett confides175 out to the audience, her face getting huge, "in Indian affairs."
There is a laugh from the invisible audience there, and even Rabbit sitting at home in his easy chair laughs, but underneath the laugh this final gag falls flat, maybe because everybody still thinks of Tonto as incorruptible, as above it all, like Jesus and Armstrong. "Bedtime, huh?" Rabbit says. He turns off the show as it unravels176 into a string of credits. The sudden little star flares177, then fades.
Nelson says, "The kids at school say Mr. Fosnacht was having an affair, that's why they got divorced."
"Or maybe he just got tired of not knowing which of his wife's eyes was looking at him."
"Dad, what is an affair exactly?"
"Oh, it's two people going out together when they're married to somebody else."
"Did that ever happen to you and Mom?"
"I wouldn't say so. I took a vacation once, that didn't last very long. You wouldn't remember."
"I do, though. I remember Mom crying a lot, and everybody chasing you at the baby's funeral, and I remember standing47 in the place on Wilbur Street, with just you in the room beside me, and looking down at the town through the window screen, and knowing Mom was in the hospital."
"Yeah. Those were sad days. This Saturday, if Grandpa Springer has got the tickets he said he would, we'll go to the Blasts game."
"I know," the boy says, unenthusiastic, and drifts toward the stairs. It unsettles Harry, how in the corner of his eye, once or twice a day, he seems to see another woman in the house, a woman who is not Janice; when it is only his long?haired son.
One more beer. He scrapes Nelson's uneaten dinner into the Disposall, which sometimes sweetly stinks178 because the Penn Villas sewers flow sluggishly179, carelessly engineered. He moves through the downstairs collecting glasses for the dishwasher; one of Janice's stunts180 is to wander around leaving dreggy cups with saucers used as ashtrays181 and wineglasses coated with vermouth around on whatever ledges182 occurred to her ? the TV top, a windowsill. How can she be helping183 untangle Mildred's mess? Maybe out of the house she's a whirlwind of efficiency. And a heigh?ho Silver. Indian affairs. Poor Pop and his rumor. Poor Mom lying there prey184 to poison tongues and nightmares. The two of them, their minds gone dry as haystacks rats slither through. His mind shies away. He looks out the window and sees in dusk the black lines of a TV aerial, an aluminum clothes tree, a basketball hoop95 on a far garage. How can he get the kid interested in sports? If he's too short for basketball, then baseball. Anything, just to put something there, some bliss185, to live on later for a while. If he goes empty now he won't last at all, because we get emptier. Rabbit turns from the window and everywhere in his own house sees a slippery disposable gloss186. It glints back at him from the synthetic187 fabric188 of the living?room sofa and chair, the synthetic artiness of a lamp Janice bought that has a piece of driftwood weighted and wired as its base, the unnatural189?looking natural wood of the shelves empty but for a few ashtrays with the sheen of fairgrounds souvenirs; it glints back at him from the steel sink, the kitchen linoleum190 with its whorls as of madness, oil in water, things don't mix. The window above the sink is black and as opaque191 as the orange that paints the asylum192 windows. He sees mirrored in it his own wet hands. Underwater. He crumples193 the aluminum beer can he has absentmindedly drained. Its contents feel metallic194 inside him: corrosive195, fattening196. Things don't mix. His inability to fasten onto any thought and make something of it must be fatigue197. Rabbit lifts himself up the stairs, pushes himself through the underwater motions of undressing and dental care, sinks into bed without bothering to turn out the lights downstairs and in the bathroom. He hears from a mournful smothered198 radio noise that Nelson is still awake. He thinks he should get up and say good night, give the kid a blessing81, but a weight crushes him while light persists into his bedroom, along with the boy's soft knocking noises, opening and shutting doors, looking for something to do. Since infancy199 Rabbit sleeps best when others are up, upright like nails holding down the world, like lamp?posts, streetsigns, dandelion stems, cobwebs . . .
Something big slithers into the bed: Janice. The fluorescent200 dial on the bureau is saying five of eleven, its two hands merged201 into one finger. She is warm in her nightie. Skin is warmer than cotton. He was dreaming about a parabolic curve, trying to steer202 on it, though the thing he was trying to steer was fighting him, like a broken sled.
"Get it untangled?" he asks her.
"Just about. I'm so sorry, Harry. Daddy came back and he just wouldn't let us go."
"Catch a nigger by the toe," he mumbles203.
"What sort of evening did you and Nelson have?"
"A kind of nothing sort of evening."
"Anybody call?"
"Nobody."
He senses she is, late as it is, alive, jazzed up, and wants to talk, apologetic, wanting to make it up. Her being in the bed changes its quality, from a resisting raft he is seeking to hold to a curving course to a nest, a laden204 hollow, itself curved. Her hand seeks him out and he brushes her away with an athlete's old instinct to protect that spot. She turns then her back on him. He accepts this rejection. He nestles against her. Her waist where no bones are nips in like a bird dipping. He had been afraid marrying her she would get fat like her mother but as she ages more and more her skinny little stringy go?getter of a father comes out in her. His hand leaves the dip to stray around in front to her belly205, faintly lovably loose from having had two babies. Puppy's neck. Should he have let her have had another to replace the one that died? Maybe that was the mistake. It had all seemed like a pit to him then, her womb and the grave, sex and death, he had fled her cunt like a tiger's mouth. His fingers search lower, touch tendrils, go lower, discover a moistness already there. He thinks of feathering the Linotype keys, of work tomorrow, and is already there.
The Verity206 Press lives on order forms, tickets to fund?raising dances, political posters in the fall, high?school yearbooks in the spring, throwaway fliers for the supermarkets, junk?mail sales announcements. On its rotary207 press it prints a weekly, The Brewer Vat164, which specializes in city scandal since the two dailies handle all the hard local and syndicated national news. Once it also published a German?language journal, Der Schockelschtuhl, founded 1830. In Rabbit's time here they had let it die, its circulation thinned down to a few thousand farmers in odd comers of the county and counties around. Rabbit remembers it because it meant the departure from the shop of old Kurt Schrack, one of those dark scowling208 Germans with whiskers that look tattooed209 into the skin rather than growing out of it to be shaved. His hair was iron but his jaw210 was lead as he sat scowling in the corner that belonged only to him; he was paid just to proofread211 the Pennsylvania Dutch copy and hand?set it in the black?letter fonts no one else was allowed to touch. The borders, and the big ornamental212 letters used on the inside pages, had been carved of wood, blackened by a century of inky handling. Schrack would concentrate down into his work so hard he would look up at lunchtime and talk in German to Pajasek the Polish foreman, or to one of the two shop Negroes, or to one of the Angstroms. Schrack had been likable in that he had done something scrupulously213 that others could not do at all. Then one Monday he was let go and his corner was soon walled in for the engravers.
Der Schockelschtuhl has gone and the Vat itself keeps threatening to take its custom to one of the big offset214 plants in Philadelphia. You simply paste it up, ads and photos and type, and send it off. Over Verity hangs a future that belongs to cool processes, to photo?offset and beyond that to photo?composition, computerized television that throws thousands of letters a second onto film with never the kiss of metal, beamed by computers programmed even for hyphenation and runarounds; but just an offset press is upwards215 of thirty thousand dollars and flatbed letterpress remains216 the easiest way to do tickets and posters. And the Vat might fold up any week. It is certainly a superfluous217 newspaper.
BREWER FACTORY TOOLS COMPONENT218 HEADED TOWARD MOON, is this week's front?page story. Rabbit sets, two?column measure, his white fingers feathering, the used matrices dropping back into their channels above his head like rain onto tin.
When Brewerites this Sunday gaze up at the moon, it may look a little bit different to them.
Why?
Because there's going to be a little bit of Brewer on
No. Widow. He tries to take it back but the line is too tight to close so he settles for the widow.
it.
Zigzag219 Electronic Products Inc., of Seventh and Locust220 Streets, City,
Oops.
Locust Streets, city, revealed to VAT reporters this week that a crucial electronic switching sequence in the on?board guidance and nabifiation computer was the on?board guidance and navigation computer was manufactured by them here, in the plain brick building, once the cite if Gossamer221 Ho ~irey Co, that thouing, once the site of Gossamer Hosiery Co., that thousands of Brewer citizens walk unknowingly by each day.
If the printed circuits of their switches?half the size of a postage stamp and weighing less than a sunflower seed?fail to function, astronauts Armstrong, Aldrin and Collin will drift past the moon and perish in the infinite vacuum of so?called "deep space."
But there is no danger of that, Zigzag Electronics general manager Leroy "Spin" Lengel assured the
Jump after twenty lines. Switch to single?column lines.
VAT reporter is his highly modern, light?green office.
"It was jest another job to us," he said. "We do a hundred like it every week.
"Naturally all of us at Zigzag are proud as punch," Lengel added. "We're sailinggeatoin added. "We're sailing on a new sea. "
The machine stands tall and warm above him, mothering, muttering, a temperamental thousand?parted survival from the golden age of machinery222. The sorts tray is on his right hand; the Star Quadder and the mold disc and slug tray on his left; a greenshaded light bulb at the level of his eyes. Above this sun the machine shoulders into shadow like a thunderhead, its matrix return rod spiralling idly, all these rustling223 sighing tons of intricately keyed mass waiting for the feather?touch of his intelligence. Behind the mold disc the molten lead waits; sometimes when there is a jam the lead squirts out hot: Harry has been burned. But the machine is a baby; its demands, though inflexible224, are few, and once these demands are met obedience225 automatically follows. There is no problem of fidelity. Do for it, it does for you. And Harry loves the light here. It is cream to his eyes, this even bluish light that nowhere casts a shadow, light so calm and fine you can read glinting letters backwards at a glance. It contrasts to the light in his home, where standing at the kitchen sink he casts a shadow that looks like dirt over the dishes, and sitting in the living room he must squint80 against the bridge lamp Janice uses to read magazines by, and bulbs keep burning out on the stair landing, and the kid complains except when it's totally dark about the reflections on the television screen. In the big room of Verity Press, ceilinged with fluorescent tubes, men move around as spirits, without shadows.
At the ten?thirty coffee break Pop comes over and asks, "Think you can make it over this evening?"
"I don't know. Janice said something last night about taking the kid to a movie. How's Mom?"
"As good as can be hoped."
"She mention Janice again?"
"Not last night, Harry. Not more than in passing at least."
The old man sidles closer, clutching his paper cup of coffee tightly as if it held jewels. "Did you say anything to Janice?" he asks. "Did you search her out any?"
"Search her out, what is she, on trial? I hardly saw her. She was over at Springer's until late." Rabbit winces226, in the perfect light seeing his father's lips pinch in, his eyes slide fishily227. Harry elaborates: "Old man Springer kept her trying to untangle his books until eleven, ever since he started selling Jap cars he's a slavedriver."
Pop's pupils widen a hairline; his eyebrows228 lift a pica's width. "I thought he and his missus were in the Poconos."
"The Springers? Who told you that?"
"I guess your mother, I forget who told her, Julia Arndt maybe. Maybe it was last week. Mrs. Springer's legs they say can't take the heat, they swell229 up. I don't know what to tell you about growing old, Harry; it isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"The Poconos."
"It must have been last week they said. Your mother will be disappointed ifyou can't come over tonight, what shall I tell her?"
The bell rings, ending the break; Buchanan slouches by, wiping his morning shot of whisky from his lips, and winks230. "Daddy knows best," he calls playfully. He is a sleek231 black seal.
Harry says, "Tell her we'll try after supper but we've promised the kid a movie and probably can't. Maybe Friday." His father's face, disappointed and unaccusing, angers him so he explodes: "Goddammit Pop I have a family of my own to run! I can't do everything." He returns to his machine gratefully. And it fits right around him, purrs while he brushes a word from his mind ("Poconos"), makes loud rain when he touches the keys, is pleased he is back.
Janice is home when he comes back from work. The Falcon is in the garage. The little house is hazed232 by her cigarette smoke; a half?empty glass of vermouth sits on top of the television set and another on one of the shelves between the living room and the breakfast nook. Rabbit calls, ` Janice!" Though the house is small and echoing, so that the click of the television knob, the unstoppering of a bottle, the creaking of Nelson's bedsprings can be heard anywhere, there is no answer. He hears steady tumbling water, climbs the stairs. The upstairs bathroom is packed with steam. Amazing, how hot women can stand water.
"Harry, you've just let a lot of cold air in."
She is shaving her legs in the tub and several small cuts are brightly bleeding. Though Janice was never a knockout, with something sullen233 and stunted234 and tight about her face, and a short woman in the decade of the big female balloons Hollywood sent up before it died, she always had nice legs and still does. Taut235 perky legs with a bony kneecap that Rabbit has always liked; he likes to see the bones in people. His wife is holding one soaped leg up as if for display and he sees through the steam the gray soap?curdled236 water slopping in and out and around her pussy237 and belly and bottom as she reaches to shave the ankle, and he is standing at the top of a stairway of the uncountable other baths he has heard her take or seen her have in the thirteen years of their marriage. He can keep count of these years because their marriage is seven months older than their child. He asks, "Where's Nelson?"
"He's gone with Billy Fosnacht to Brewer to look at mini?bikes."
"I don't want him looking at mini?bikes. He'll get killed." The other child his daughter was killed. The world is quicksand. Find the straight path and stick to it.
"Oh Harry, it won't do any harm to look. Billy has one he rides all the time."
"I can't afford it."
"He's promised to earn half the money himself. I'll give him our half out of my money, if you're so uptight238." Her money: her father gave her stocks years ago. And she earns money now. Does she need him at all? She asks, "Are you sure you closed the door? There's a terrible draft suddenly. There's not much privacy in this house, is there?"
"Well Jesus how much privacy do you think I owe you?"
"Well you don't have to stand there staring, you've seen me take a bath before."
"Well I haven't seen you with your clothes off since I don't know when. You're O.K."
"I'm just a cunt, Harry. There are billions of us now."
A few years ago she would never have said "cunt." It excites him, touches him like a breath on his cock. The ankle she is reaching to shave starts to bleed, suddenly, brightly, shockingly. "God," he tells her, "you are clumsy."
"Your standing there staring makes me nervous."
"Why're you taking a bath right now anyway?"
"We're going out to supper, remember? If we're going to make the movie at eight o'clock we ought to leave here at six. You should wash off your ink. Want to use my water?"
"It's all full of blood and little hairs."
"Harry, really. You've gotten so uptight in your old age."
Again, "uptight." Not her voice, another voice, another voice in hers.
Janice goes on, "The tank hasn't had time to heat enough for a fresh tub."
"O.K. I'll use yours."
His wife gets out, water spilling on the bathmat, her feet and buttocks steamed rosy239. Her breasts sympathetically lift as she lifts her hair from the nape of her neck. "Want to dry my back?"
He can't remember the last time she asked him to do this. As he rubs, her smallness mixes with the absolute bigness naked women have. The curve that sways out from her waist to be swelled240 by the fat of her flank. Rabbit squats241 to dry her bottom, goosebumpy red. The backs ofher thighs242, the stray black hairs, the moss243 moist between. "O.K.," she says, and steps off. He stands to pat dry the down beneath the sweep of her upheld hair: Nature is full of nests. She asks, "Where do you want to eat?"
"Oh, anywhere. The kid likes the Burger Bliss over on West Weiser."
"I was wondering, there's a new Greek restaurant just across the bridge I'd love to try. Charlie Stavros was talking about it the other day."
"Yeah. Speaking of the other day -"
"He says they have marvellous grape leaf things and shish kebab Nelson would like. If we don't make him do something new he'll be eating at Burger Bliss the rest of his life."
"The movie starts at seven?thirty, you know."
"I know," she says, "that's why I took a bath now," and, a new Janice, still standing with her back to him, nestles her bottom against his fly, lifting herself on tiptoe and arching her back to make a delicate double damp spreading contact. His mind softens244; his prick245 hardens. "Besides," Janice is going on, edging herself on tiptoes up and down like a child gently chanting to Banbury Cross, "the movie isn't just for Nelson, it's for me, for working so hard all week."
There was a question he was about to ask, but her caress246 erased it. She straightens, saying, "Hurry, Harry. The water will get cold." Two damp spots are left on the front of his suntans. The muggy247 bathroom has drugged him; when she opens the door to their bedroom, the contrast of cold air cakes him; he sneezes. Yet he leaves the door open while he undresses so he can watch her dress. She is practiced, quick; rapidly as a snake shrugs248 forward over the sand she has tugged249 her black pantyhose up over her legs. She nips to the closet for her skirt, to the bureau for her blouse, the frilly silvery one, that he thought was reserved for parties. Testing the tub with his foot (too hot) he remembers.
"Hey Janice. Somebody said today your parents were in the Poconos. Last night you said your father was at the lot."
She halts in the center of their bedroom, staring into the bathroom. Her dark eyes darken the more; she sees his big white body, his spreading slack gut250, his uncircumcised member hanging boneless as a rooster comb from its blond roots. She sees her flying athlete grounded, cuckolded. She sees a large white man a knife would slice like lard. The angelic cold strength of his leaving her, the anticlimax251 of his coming back and clinging: there is something in the combination that she cannot forgive, that justifies252 her. Her eyes must burn on him, for he turns his back and begins to step into her water: his buttocks merge1 with her lover's, she thinks how all men look innocent and vulnerable here, reverting253 to the baby they were. She says firmly, "They were in the Poconos but came back early. Mom always thinks at these resorts she's being snubbed," and without waiting for an answer to her lie runs downstairs.
While soaking in the pool tinged254 by her hair and blood Rabbit hears Nelson come into the house. Voices rise muffled255 through the ceiling. "What a crummy mini?bike," the child announces. "It's busted256 already."
Janice says, "Then aren't you glad it isn't yours?"
"Yeah, but there's a more expensive kind, really neat, a Gioconda, that Grandpa could get at discount for us so it wouldn't cost any more than the cheap one."
"Your father and I agree, two hundred dollars is too much for a toy."
"It's not a toy, Mom, it's something I could really learn about engines on. And you can get a license257 and Daddy could drive it to work some days instead of taking a bus all the time."
"Daddy likes taking the bus."
"I hate it!" Rabbit yells, "it stinks of Negroes," but no voice below in the kitchen acknowledges hearing him.
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1
merge
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| v.(使)结合，(使)合并，(使)合为一体 | |
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2
stagnant
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| adj.不流动的，停滞的，不景气的 | |
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3
brewer
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| n. 啤酒制造者 | |
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4
granite
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| adj.花岗岩，花岗石 | |
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curbs
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| v.限制，克制，抑制( curb的第三人称单数 ) | |
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mica
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| n.云母 | |
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7
differentiated
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| 区分，区别，辨别( differentiate的过去式和过去分词 )； 区别对待； 表明…间的差别，构成…间差别的特征 | |
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8
speck
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| n.微粒，小污点，小斑点 | |
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9
bastard
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| n.坏蛋，混蛋；私生子 | |
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10
hop
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| n.单脚跳，跳跃；vi.单脚跳，跳跃；着手做某事；vt.跳跃，跃过 | |
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11
jigsaw
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| n.缕花锯，竖锯，拼图游戏；vt.用竖锯锯，使互相交错搭接 | |
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12
wince
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| n.畏缩，退避，（因痛苦，苦恼等)面部肌肉抽动；v.畏缩，退缩，退避 | |
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13
brilliance
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| n.光辉，辉煌，壮丽，（卓越的）才华，才智 | |
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desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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nibbled
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| v.啃，一点一点地咬（吃）( nibble的过去式和过去分词 )；啃出（洞），一点一点咬出（洞）；慢慢减少；小口咬 | |
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facades
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| n.（房屋的）正面( facade的名词复数 )；假象，外观 | |
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alleys
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| 胡同，小巷( alley的名词复数 )； 小径 | |
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intensifying
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的现在分词 )；增辉 | |
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hovering
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| 鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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20
blanched
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| v.使变白( blanch的过去式 )；使（植物）不见阳光而变白；酸洗（金属）使有光泽；用沸水烫（杏仁等）以便去皮 | |
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21
mid
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| adj.中央的，中间的 | |
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22
harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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23
retirement
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| n.退休，退职 | |
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24
grievances
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| n.委屈( grievance的名词复数 )；苦衷；不满；牢骚 | |
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25
protruding
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的现在分词 )；凸 | |
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26
verging
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| 接近，逼近（verge的现在分词形式） | |
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27
anonymity
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| n.the condition of being anonymous | |
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28
assed
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| 称职的 | |
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29
phoenix
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| n.凤凰，长生(不死)鸟；引申为重生 | |
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30
nude
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| adj.裸体的；n.裸体者，裸体艺术品 | |
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31
villas
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| 别墅，公馆( villa的名词复数 )； （城郊）住宅 | |
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32
ranch
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| n.大牧场，大农场 | |
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33
maple
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| n.槭树，枫树，槭木 | |
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34
rejection
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| n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃 | |
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35
soften
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| v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和 | |
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36
loomed
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| v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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37
cuffs
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| n.袖口( cuff的名词复数 )v.掌打，拳打( cuff的第三人称单数 ) | |
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38
conspiratorial
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| adj.阴谋的，阴谋者的 | |
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39
shuffling
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| adj. 慢慢移动的, 滑移的 动词shuffle的现在分词形式 | |
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40
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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41
saliva
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| n.唾液，口水 | |
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42
foam
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| v./n.泡沫，起泡沫 | |
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43
whining
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| n. 抱怨，牢骚 v. 哭诉，发牢骚 | |
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44
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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45
grimacing
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| v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的现在分词 ) | |
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46
malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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47
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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48
veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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49
backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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50
murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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51
prying
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| adj.爱打听的v.打听，刺探（他人的私事）( pry的现在分词 )；撬开 | |
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52
squeal
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| v.发出长而尖的声音；n.长而尖的声音 | |
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53
locker
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| n.更衣箱，储物柜，冷藏室，上锁的人 | |
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54
engraving
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| n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中） | |
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55
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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56
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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57
slumps
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| 萧条期( slump的名词复数 )； （个人、球队等的）低潮状态； （销售量、价格、价值等的）骤降； 猛跌 | |
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58
hipped
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| adj.着迷的，忧郁的 | |
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59
malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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60
lone
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| adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的 | |
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61
fishy
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| adj. 值得怀疑的 | |
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62
tightened
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| 收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）变紧； （使）绷紧； 加紧 | |
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63
meddling
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| v.干涉，干预（他人事务）( meddle的现在分词 ) | |
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64
scout
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| n.童子军，侦察员；v.侦察，搜索 | |
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65
poking
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| n. 刺，戳，袋 vt. 拨开，刺，戳 vi. 戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
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66
rumor
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| n.谣言，谣传，传说 | |
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67
dime
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| n.（指美国、加拿大的钱币）一角 | |
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68
copper
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| n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的 | |
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69
dimes
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| n.（美国、加拿大的）10分铸币( dime的名词复数 ) | |
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70
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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71
scoops
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| n.小铲( scoop的名词复数 )；小勺；一勺[铲]之量；（抢先刊载、播出的）独家新闻v.抢先报道( scoop的第三人称单数 )；（敏捷地）抱起；抢先获得；用铲[勺]等挖（洞等） | |
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72
halfway
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| adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途 | |
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73
nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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74
bucks
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| n.雄鹿( buck的名词复数 )；钱；（英国十九世纪初的）花花公子；（用于某些表达方式）责任v.（马等）猛然弓背跃起( buck的第三人称单数 )；抵制；猛然震荡；马等尥起后蹄跳跃 | |
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75
retrieve
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| vt.重新得到，收回；挽回，补救；检索 | |
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76
hog
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| n.猪；馋嘴贪吃的人；vt.把…占为己有，独占 | |
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77
democrats
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| n.民主主义者，民主人士( democrat的名词复数 ) | |
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78
whittled
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| v.切，削（木头），使逐渐变小( whittle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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79
squinting
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| 斜视( squint的现在分词 )； 眯着眼睛； 瞟； 从小孔或缝隙里看 | |
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80
squint
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| v. 使变斜视眼, 斜视, 眯眼看, 偏移, 窥视; n. 斜视, 斜孔小窗; adj. 斜视的, 斜的 | |
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81
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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82
blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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83
grit
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| n.沙粒，决心，勇气；v.下定决心，咬紧牙关 | |
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84
shudders
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| n.颤动，打颤，战栗( shudder的名词复数 )v.战栗( shudder的第三人称单数 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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85
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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86
relic
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| n.神圣的遗物，遗迹，纪念物 | |
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87
bulge
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| n.突出，膨胀，激增；vt.突出，膨胀 | |
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88
numbed
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| v.使麻木，使麻痹( numb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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89
tawny
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| adj.茶色的，黄褐色的；n.黄褐色 | |
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90
curtly
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| adv.简短地 | |
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91
anthropologist
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| n.人类学家，人类学者 | |
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92
primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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93
aluminum
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| n.(aluminium)铝 | |
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94
hoops
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| n.箍( hoop的名词复数 )；（篮球）篮圈；（旧时儿童玩的）大环子；（两端埋在地里的）小铁弓 | |
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95
hoop
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| n.（篮球）篮圈，篮 | |
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96
bugging
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| [法] 窃听 | |
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97
jointed
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| 有接缝的 | |
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98
earrings
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| n.耳环( earring的名词复数 )；耳坠子 | |
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99
sneaked
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| v.潜行( sneak的过去式和过去分词 )；偷偷溜走；（儿童向成人）打小报告；告状 | |
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100
falcon
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| n.隼，猎鹰 | |
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101
fascist
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| adj.法西斯主义的；法西斯党的；n.法西斯主义者，法西斯分子 | |
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102
crates
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| n. 板条箱, 篓子, 旧汽车 vt. 装进纸条箱 | |
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103
trolley
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| n.手推车，台车；无轨电车；有轨电车 | |
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104
intersection
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| n.交集，十字路口，交叉点；[计算机] 交集 | |
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105
suburban
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| adj.城郊的，在郊区的 | |
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106
parlors
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| 客厅( parlor的名词复数 )； 起居室； （旅馆中的）休息室； （通常用来构成合成词）店 | |
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107
parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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108
outlets
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| n.出口( outlet的名词复数 )；经销店；插座；廉价经销店 | |
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109
retailer
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| n.零售商(人) | |
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110
silt
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| n.淤泥，淤沙，粉砂层，泥沙层；vt.使淤塞；vi.被淤塞 | |
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111
hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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112
moored
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| adj. 系泊的 动词moor的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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113
blazoned
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| v.广布( blazon的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布；夸示；装饰 | |
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114
crammed
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| adj.塞满的，挤满的；大口地吃；快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满；填入；临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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115
shimmering
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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116
fins
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| [医]散热片；鱼鳍；飞边；鸭掌 | |
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117
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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118
spaciousness
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| n.宽敞 | |
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119
residential
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| adj.提供住宿的；居住的；住宅的 | |
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120
fortresses
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| 堡垒，要塞( fortress的名词复数 ) | |
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121
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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122
pumpkin
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| n.南瓜 | |
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123
knights
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| 骑士； （中古时代的）武士( knight的名词复数 )； 骑士； 爵士； （国际象棋中）马 | |
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124
pebbled
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| 用卵石铺（pebble的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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125
mortar
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| n.灰浆，灰泥；迫击炮；v.把…用灰浆涂接合 | |
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126
dough
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| n.生面团；钱，现款 | |
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127
pushiest
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| adj.有进取心的( pushy的最高级 )；固执己见的，一意孤行的 | |
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128
borough
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| n.享有自治权的市镇；(英)自治市镇 | |
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129
charcoal
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| n.炭，木炭，生物炭 | |
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130
smelted
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| v.熔炼，提炼（矿石）( smelt的过去式和过去分词 )；合演( costar的过去式和过去分词 )；闻到；嗅出 | |
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131
muskets
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| n.火枪，（尤指）滑膛枪( musket的名词复数 ) | |
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132
sewers
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| n.阴沟，污水管，下水道( sewer的名词复数 ) | |
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133
vista
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| n.远景，深景，展望，回想 | |
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134
farmhouses
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| n.农舍，农场的主要住房( farmhouse的名词复数 ) | |
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135
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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136
wary
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| adj.谨慎的，机警的，小心的 | |
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137
squealing
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| v.长声尖叫，用长而尖锐的声音说( squeal的现在分词 ) | |
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138
spurts
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| 短暂而突然的活动或努力( spurt的名词复数 )； 突然奋起 | |
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139
sip
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| v.小口地喝，抿，呷；n.一小口的量 | |
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140
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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141
riddle
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| n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜 | |
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142
fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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143
shriek
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| v./n.尖叫，叫喊 | |
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144
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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145
glimmered
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| v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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146
alcove
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| n.凹室 | |
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147
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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148
wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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149
tickled
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| （使）发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）愉快，逗乐 | |
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150
franchise
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| n.特许，特权，专营权，特许权 | |
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151
dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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152
opted
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| v.选择，挑选( opt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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153
batter
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| v.接连重击；磨损；n.牛奶面糊；击球员 | |
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154
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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155
rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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156
underneath
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|
| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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157
flakes
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| 小薄片( flake的名词复数 )； （尤指）碎片； 雪花； 古怪的人 | |
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158
crumbs
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| int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式 | |
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159
starch
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| n.淀粉；vt.给...上浆 | |
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160
tinfoil
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| n.锡纸，锡箔 | |
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161
erased
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| v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；清除 | |
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162
maneuvers
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| n.策略，谋略，花招( maneuver的名词复数 ) | |
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163
preservative
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| n.防腐剂；防腐料；保护料；预防药 | |
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164
vat
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| n.(=value added tax)增值税，大桶 | |
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165
skit
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| n.滑稽短剧；一群 | |
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166
ranger
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| n.国家公园管理员，护林员；骑兵巡逻队员 | |
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167
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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168
cracker
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| n.（无甜味的）薄脆饼干 | |
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169
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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170
crunching
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| v.嘎吱嘎吱地咬嚼( crunch的现在分词 )；嘎吱作响；（快速大量地）处理信息；数字捣弄 | |
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171
disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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172
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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173
climax
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| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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174
overture
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| n.前奏曲、序曲，提议，提案，初步交涉 | |
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175
confides
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的第三人称单数 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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176
unravels
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| 解开，拆散，散开( unravel的第三人称单数 )； 阐明； 澄清； 弄清楚 | |
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177
flares
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| n.喇叭裤v.（使）闪耀( flare的第三人称单数 )；（使）（船舷）外倾；（使）鼻孔张大；（使）（衣裙、酒杯等）呈喇叭形展开 | |
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178
stinks
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| v.散发出恶臭( stink的第三人称单数 )；发臭味；名声臭；糟透 | |
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179
sluggishly
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| adv.懒惰地；缓慢地 | |
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180
stunts
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| n.惊人的表演( stunt的名词复数 )；（广告中）引人注目的花招；愚蠢行为；危险举动v.阻碍…发育[生长]，抑制，妨碍( stunt的第三人称单数 ) | |
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181
ashtrays
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| 烟灰缸( ashtray的名词复数 ) | |
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182
ledges
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| n.（墙壁，悬崖等）突出的狭长部分( ledge的名词复数 )；（平窄的）壁架；横档；（尤指）窗台 | |
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183
helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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184
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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185
bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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186
gloss
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| n.光泽，光滑；虚饰；注释；vt.加光泽于；掩饰 | |
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187
synthetic
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| adj.合成的，人工的；综合的；n.人工制品 | |
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188
fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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189
unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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190
linoleum
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| n.油布，油毯 | |
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191
opaque
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| adj.不透光的；不反光的，不传导的；晦涩的 | |
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192
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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193
crumples
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| 压皱，弄皱( crumple的第三人称单数 )； 变皱 | |
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194
metallic
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| adj.金属的；金属制的；含金属的；产金属的；像金属的 | |
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195
corrosive
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| adj.腐蚀性的；有害的；恶毒的 | |
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196
fattening
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| adj.（食物）要使人发胖的v.喂肥( fatten的现在分词 )；养肥（牲畜）；使（钱）增多；使（公司）升值 | |
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197
fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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198
smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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199
infancy
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| n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期 | |
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200
fluorescent
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| adj.荧光的，发出荧光的 | |
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201
merged
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| （使）混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 )； 相融； 融入； 渐渐消失在某物中 | |
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202
steer
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| vt.驾驶，为…操舵；引导；vi.驾驶 | |
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203
mumbles
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| 含糊的话或声音，咕哝( mumble的名词复数 ) | |
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204
laden
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| adj.装满了的；充满了的；负了重担的；苦恼的 | |
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205
belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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206
verity
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| n.真实性 | |
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207
rotary
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| adj.(运动等)旋转的；轮转的；转动的 | |
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208
scowling
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| 怒视，生气地皱眉( scowl的现在分词 ) | |
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209
tattooed
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|
| v.刺青，文身( tattoo的过去式和过去分词 )；连续有节奏地敲击；作连续有节奏的敲击 | |
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210
jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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211
proofread
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| vt.校正，校对 | |
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212
ornamental
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|
| adj.装饰的；作装饰用的；n.装饰品；观赏植物 | |
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213
scrupulously
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| adv.一丝不苟地；小心翼翼地，多顾虑地 | |
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214
offset
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| n.分支，补偿；v.抵消，补偿 | |
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215
upwards
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| adv.向上，在更高处...以上 | |
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216
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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217
superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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218
component
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| n.组成部分，成分，元件；adj.组成的，合成的 | |
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219
zigzag
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| n.曲折，之字形；adj.曲折的，锯齿形的；adv.曲折地，成锯齿形地；vt.使曲折；vi.曲折前行 | |
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220
locust
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| n.蝗虫；洋槐，刺槐 | |
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221
gossamer
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| n.薄纱，游丝 | |
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222
machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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223
rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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224
inflexible
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| adj.不可改变的，不受影响的，不屈服的 | |
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225
obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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226
winces
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| 避开，畏缩( wince的名词复数 ) | |
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227
fishily
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| adv.无表情地，多鱼地 | |
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228
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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229
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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230
winks
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| v.使眼色( wink的第三人称单数 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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231
sleek
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| adj.光滑的，井然有序的；v.使光滑，梳拢 | |
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232
hazed
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| v.（使）笼罩在薄雾中( haze的过去式和过去分词 )；戏弄，欺凌（新生等，有时作为加入美国大学生联谊会的条件） | |
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233
sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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234
stunted
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| adj.矮小的；发育迟缓的 | |
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235
taut
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| adj.拉紧的，绷紧的，紧张的 | |
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236
curdled
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| v.（使）凝结( curdle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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237
pussy
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| n.(儿语)小猫，猫咪 | |
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238
uptight
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| adj.焦虑不安的，紧张的 | |
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239
rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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240
swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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241
squats
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| n.蹲坐，蹲姿( squat的名词复数 )；被擅自占用的建筑物v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的第三人称单数 )；非法擅自占用（土地或房屋）；为获得其所有权；而占用某片公共用地。 | |
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242
thighs
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| n.股，大腿( thigh的名词复数 )；食用的鸡（等的）腿 | |
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243
moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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244
softens
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| （使）变软( soften的第三人称单数 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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245
prick
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| v.刺伤，刺痛，刺孔；n.刺伤，刺痛 | |
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246
caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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247
muggy
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|
| adj.闷热的；adv.（天气）闷热而潮湿地；n.（天气）闷热而潮湿 | |
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248
shrugs
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| n.耸肩（以表示冷淡，怀疑等）( shrug的名词复数 ) | |
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249
tugged
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| v.用力拉，使劲拉，猛扯( tug的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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250
gut
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| n.[pl.]胆量；内脏；adj.本能的；vt.取出内脏 | |
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251
anticlimax
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| n.令人扫兴的结局；突降法 | |
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252
justifies
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| 证明…有理( justify的第三人称单数 )； 为…辩护； 对…作出解释； 为…辩解（或辩护） | |
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253
reverting
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| 恢复( revert的现在分词 )； 重提； 回到…上； 归还 | |
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254
tinged
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| v.（使）发丁丁声( ting的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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255
muffled
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| adj.（声音）被隔的；听不太清的；（衣服）裹严的；蒙住的v.压抑，捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 )；用厚厚的衣帽包着（自己） | |
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256
busted
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| adj. 破产了的，失败了的，被降级的，被逮捕的，被抓到的 动词bust的过去式和过去分词 | |
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257
license
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| n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许 | |
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