Chapter 3

JESS

 

I was at a party downstairs in the squat¹. It was a shit party, full of all these ancient crusties sitting on the floor drinking cider and smoking huge spliffs and listening to weirdo space-out reggae. At midnight, one of them clapped sarcastically², and a couple of others laughed, and that was it - Happy New Year to you too. You could have turned up to that party as the happiest person in London, and you'd still have wanted up to jump off the roof by five past twelve. And I wasn't the happiest person in London anyway. Obviously.

I only went because someone at college told me Chas would be there, but he wasn't. I tried his mobile for the one zillionth time, but it wasn't on. When we first split³ up, he called me a stalker⁴, but that's like an emotive word, 'stalker', isn't it? I don't think you can call it stalking⁵ when it's just phone calls and letters and emails and knocking on the door. And I only turned up at his work twice. Three times, if you count his Christmas party, which I don't, because he said he was going to take me to that anyway. Stalking is when you follow them to the shops and on holiday and all that, isn't it? Well, I never went near any shops. And anyway, I didn't think it was stalking when someone owed you an explanation. Being owed an explanation is like being owed money, and not just a fiver, either. Five or six hundred quid minimum, more like. If you were owed five or six hundred quid minimum and the person who owed it to you was avoiding you, then you're bound to knock on his door late at night, when you know he's going to be in. People get serious about that sort of money. They call in debt collectors, and break people's legs, but I never went that far. I showed some restraint.

So even though I could see straight away that he wasn't at this party, I stayed for a while. Where else was I going to go? I was feeling sorry for myself. How can you be eighteen and not have anywhere to go on New Year's Eve, apart from some shit party in some shit squat where you don't know anybody? Well, I managed it. I seem to manage it every year. I make friends easily enough, but then I piss them off, I know that much, even if I'm not sure why or how. And so people and parties disappear.

I pissed Jen off, I'm sure of that. She disappeared, like everyone else.

1 squat   

v.蹲坐，蹲下；n.蹲下；adj.矮胖的，粗矮的

参考例句：

• For this exercise you need to get into a squat.在这次练习中你需要蹲下来。
• He is a squat man.他是一个矮胖的男人。

2 sarcastically   

adv.挖苦地，讽刺地

参考例句：

• 'What a surprise!' Caroline murmured sarcastically.“太神奇了!”卡罗琳轻声挖苦道。
• Pierce mocked her and bowed sarcastically. 皮尔斯嘲笑她，讽刺地鞠了一躬。

3 split   

n.劈开，裂片，裂口；adj.分散的；v.分离，分开，劈开

参考例句：

• Who told you that Mary and I had split up?谁告诉你玛丽和我已经离婚了？
• The teacher split the class up into six groups.老师把班级分成6个小组。

4 stalker   

n.网子的一种；高视阔步者；暗恋者；暗恋别人的人

参考例句：

• Did you know that John Lennon was murdered by a stalker? 你知道约翰列侬就是被追星族杀掉的吗？ 来自电影对白
• So did you a good look at this crazy stalker guy? 那你看清楚这个一直跟着你们的疯子长什么样了吗？ 来自互联网

5 stalking   

围捕，潜近；潜进

参考例句：

• He spent the weekend stalking deer in the Scottish highlands. 他周末在苏格兰高地追踪鹿的行踪。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• A British submarine was also stalking the Turkish supply-ship. 一艘英国潜艇也在追踪这艘土耳其补给船。 来自辞典例句