Chapter 8

JESS

 

I shouldn't have made the noise. That was my mistake. I mean, that was my mistake if the idea was to kill myself. I could have just walked, quickly and quietly and calmly, to the place where Martin had cut through the wire, climbed the ladder and then jumped. But I didn't. I yelled¹ something like, 'Out of the way, losers!' and made this Red Indian war-whoop noise, as if it were all a game - which it was, at that point, to me, anyway - and Martin rugby-tackled me before I got halfway² there. And then he sort of kneeled³ on me and ground my face into that sort of gritty fake-Tarmac stuff⁴ they put on the tops of buildings. Then I really did want to be dead.

I didn't know it was Martin. I never saw anything, really, until he was rubbing⁵ my nose in the dirt, and then I just saw dirt. But I knew what the two of them were doing up there the moment I got to the roof. You didn't have to be like a genius to work that out. So when he was sitting on me I went, So how come you two are allowed to kill yourselves and I'm not? And he goes, You're too young. We've fucked our lives up. You haven't, yet. And I said, How do you know that? And he goes, No one's fucked their lives up at your age. And I was like, What if I've murdered ten people? Including my parents and, I don't know, my baby twins? And he went, Well have you? And I said, Yeah, I have. (Even though I hadn't. I just wanted to see what he'd say.) And he went, Well, if you're up here, you've got away with it, haven't you? I'd get on a plane to Brazil if I were you. And I said, What if I want to pay for what I've done with my life? And he said, Shut up.

1 yelled   

v.叫喊，号叫，叫着说( yell的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He yelled at the other driver. 他冲着另一位司机大叫。
• The lost man yelled, hoping someone in the woods would hear him. 迷路的人大声喊着，希望林子里的人会听见。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 halfway   

adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途

参考例句：

• We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路，天就黑了。
• In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上，最忌讳的是有始无终。

3 kneeled   

v.跪( kneel的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He kneeled against the bow and, for a moment, slipped the line over his back again. 他靠着船头跪下，暂时又把钓索挎在背上。 来自英汉文学 - 老人与海
• She went to the coffin, very soft, and kneeled down and looked in. 她轻轻地来到棺材前面，跪下去往里看了一看。 来自辞典例句

4 stuff   

n.原料，材料，东西；vt.填满；吃饱

参考例句：

• We could supply you with the stuff in the raw tomorrow.明天我们可以供应你原材料。
• He is not the stuff.他不是这个材料。

5 rubbing   

n. 摩擦, 研磨, 按磨

参考例句：

• This insect makes its strange noise by rubbing its back legs together. 这只昆虫摩擦它的两条后腿发出一种奇怪的声音。
• Jerry was already unhappy because he fumbled the ball,but his teammates kept rubbing it in. 本来杰瑞就很不高兴，因为他失了球，而他的队友们还一再提那件事。