Chapter 25

JJ

 

I know I'd had that bonding moment with Maureen when she'd smacked¹ Chas, but to tell you the truth I was working on the assumption that if we all made it through to breakfast time, then my new band would split up due to musical differences. Breakfast time would mean that we'd made it through to a new dawn, new hope, a new year, tra la la. And no offense² meant, but I really didn't want to be seen in daylight with these people, if you know what I mean - especially with… some of 'em. But breakfast and daylight were still a couple of hours away, so it felt to me like I had no real choice but to go with them back to Martin's place. To do anything else would have been mean and unfriendly, and I still didn't trust myself to spend too much time on my own.

Martin lived in a little villagey part of Islington, right around the corner from Tony Blair's old house, and really not the kind of 'hood³ you'd choose if you'd fallen on hard times, as Martin was supposed to have done. He paid the cab fare, and we followed him up the front steps to his house. I could see three or four front-door bells, so I could tell it wasn't all his, but I couldn't have afforded to live there.

Before he put his key in the lock, he paused and turned around.

'Listen,' he said, and then he didn't say anything, so we listened.

'I don't hear anything,' said Jess.

'No, I didn't mean that sort of listen. I meant, Listen, I'm going to tell you something.'

'Go on, then,' said Jess. 'Spit it out.'

'It's very late. So just… be respectful of the neighbours.'

'That's it?'

'No.' He took a deep breath. 'There'll probably be someone in there.'

'In your flat?'

'Yes.'

'Who?'

'I don't know what you'd call her. My date. Whatever.'

'You had a date for the evening?' I tried to keep my voice in neutral, but, you know, Jesus… What kind of evening had she had? One moment you're sitting in a club or whatever, the next he's disappeared because he wants to jump off a building.

'Yes. What of it?'

'Nothing. Just…' There was no need to say any more. We could leave the rest to the imagination.

'Fucking hell,' said Jess. 'What kind of date ends up with you sitting on the fucking ledge⁴ of a tower-block?'

'An unsuccessful one,' said Martin.

'I should think it was fucking unsuccessful,' said Jess.

'Yes,' said Martin. 'That's why I described it as such.'

He opened the door to his flat and ushered⁵ us in ahead of him; so we saw the girl sitting on the sofa a moment before he did. She was maybe ten or fifteen years younger than him, and pretty, in a kind of bimbo TV weather-girl way; she was wearing an expensive-looking black dress, and she'd been crying a whole lot. She stared at us, and then at him.

'Where have you been?' She was trying to keep it light, but she couldn't quite pull it off.

'Just out. Met some…' He gestured at us.

'Met some who?'

'You know. People.'

'And that's why you left in the middle of the evening?'

'No. I didn't know I was going to run into this crowd when I left.'

'And which crowd are they?' said the girl.

I wanted to hear Martin answer the question, because it might have been funny, but Jess interrupted.

'You're Penny Chambers⁶,' said Jess.

She didn't say anything, probably because she knew that already. We stared at her.

'Penny Chambers,' said Maureen. She was gaping⁷ like a fucking fish.

Penny Chambers still didn't say anything, for the same reasons as before.

'Rise and Shine with Penny and Martin,' said Maureen.

No response for a third time. I don't know much about English television stars, but I got it. If Martin was Regis, then Penny was Kathy Lee. The English Regis had been nailing the English Kathy Lee, and then disappeared to kill himself. That was pretty fucking hilarious⁸, you have to admit.

'Are you two going out?' Jess asked her.

'You'd better ask him,' said Penny. 'He's the one who vanished in the middle of a dinner party.'

'Are you two going out?' Jess asked him.

'I'm sorry,' said Martin.

'Answer the question,' said Penny. 'I'm interested.'

'This isn't really the time to talk about it,' said Martin.

'So there's clearly some doubt,' Penny said. 'Which is news to me.'

'It's complicated,' said Martin. 'You knew that.'

'Nope.'

'You knew I wasn't happy.'

'Yes, I knew you weren't happy. But I didn't know you were unhappy about me.'

'I wasn't… It's not… Can we talk later? In private?'

He stopped, and gestured around the room again at the three staring faces. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that, as a rule, potential suicides tend to be pretty self-absorbed: those last few weeks, it's pretty much all me me me. So we were gulping⁹ this shit down a) because it was not about us and b) because it was not a conversation likely to depress the hell out of us. It was, for the moment, just a fight between a boyfriend and a girlfriend, and it was taking us out of ourselves.

'And when will we be in private?'

'Soon. But probably not immediately.'

'Right. And what do we talk about in the meantime? With your three friends here?'

No one knew what to say to that. Martin was the host, so it was up to him to find the common ground. And good luck to him.

'I think you should call Tom and Christine,' said Penny.

'Yeah, I will. Tomorrow.'

'They must think you're so rude.'

'Who are Tom and Christine? The people you were having dinner with?'

'Yes.'

'What did you tell them?'

'He told them he was going to the toilet,' said Penny.

Jess burst out laughing. Martin glanced at her, replayed in his head the lame¹⁰ excuse he'd used, and then smirked¹¹, very briefly¹³, at his shoes. It was a weirdly¹⁴ familiar moment. You know when you're being torn a new asshole by your dad for some crime you've committed, while a pal¹⁵ watches and tries not to laugh? And you try not to catch his eye, because then you'll laugh too? Well, that's what it was like. Anyway, Penny spotted¹⁶ the little-boy smirk¹² and flew across the room at the little boy in question. He grabbed her wrists to prevent her from hitting him.

'How dare you find it funny.'

'I'm sorry. Really. I know it's not funny in any way.' He tried to hug her, but she pushed herself away from him and sat down again.

'We need a drink,' said Martin. 'Would you mind if they stayed for one?'

I'll take a drink off just about anybody in any situation, but even I wasn't sure whether to take this one. In the end, though, I was just too thirsty.

1 smacked   

拍，打，掴( smack的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He smacked his lips but did not utter a word. 他吧嗒两下嘴，一声也不言语。
• She smacked a child's bottom. 她打孩子的屁股。

2 offense   

n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪

参考例句：

• I hope you will not take any offense at my words. 对我讲的话请别见怪。
• His words gave great offense to everybody present.他的发言冲犯了在场的所有人。

3 hood   

n.头巾，兜帽，覆盖；v.罩上，以头巾覆盖

参考例句：

• She is wearing a red cloak with a hood.她穿着一件红色带兜帽的披风。
• The car hood was dented in.汽车的发动机罩已凹了进去。

4 ledge   

n.壁架，架状突出物；岩架，岩礁

参考例句：

• They paid out the line to lower him to the ledge.他们放出绳子使他降到那块岩石的突出部分。
• Suddenly he struck his toe on a rocky ledge and fell.突然他的脚趾绊在一块突出的岩石上，摔倒了。

5 ushered   

v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The secretary ushered me into his office. 秘书把我领进他的办公室。
• A round of parties ushered in the New Year. 一系列的晚会迎来了新年。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 chambers   

n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅

参考例句：

• The body will be removed into one of the cold storage chambers. 尸体将被移到一个冷冻间里。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Mr Chambers's readable book concentrates on the middle passage: the time Ransome spent in Russia. Chambers先生的这本值得一看的书重点在中间：Ransome在俄国的那几年。 来自互联网

7 gaping   

adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大

参考例句：

• Ahead of them was a gaping abyss. 他们前面是一个巨大的深渊。
• The antelope could not escape the crocodile's gaping jaws. 那只羚羊无法从鱷鱼张开的大口中逃脱。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 hilarious   

adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed

参考例句：

• The party got quite hilarious after they brought more wine.在他们又拿来更多的酒之后，派对变得更加热闹起来。
• We stop laughing because the show was so hilarious.我们笑个不停，因为那个节目太搞笑了。

9 gulping   

v.狼吞虎咽地吃，吞咽( gulp的现在分词 )；大口地吸（气）；哽住

参考例句：

• She crawled onto the river bank and lay there gulping in air. 她爬上河岸，躺在那里喘着粗气。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• And you'll even feel excited gulping down a glass. 你甚至可以感觉到激动下一杯。 来自互联网

10 lame   

adj.跛的，(辩解、论据等)无说服力的

参考例句：

• The lame man needs a stick when he walks.那跛脚男子走路时需借助拐棍。
• I don't believe his story.It'sounds a bit lame.我不信他讲的那一套。他的话听起来有些靠不住。

11 smirked   

v.傻笑( smirk的过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He smirked at Tu Wei-yueh. 他对屠维岳狞笑。 来自子夜部分
• He smirked in acknowledgement of their uncouth greetings, and sat down. 他皮笑肉不笑地接受了他的粗鲁的招呼，坐了下来。 来自辞典例句

12 smirk   

n.得意地笑；v.傻笑；假笑着说

参考例句：

• He made no attempt to conceal his smirk.他毫不掩饰自鸣得意的笑容。
• She had a selfsatisfied smirk on her face.她脸上带着自鸣得意的微笑。

13 briefly   

adv.简单地，简短地

参考例句：

• I want to touch briefly on another aspect of the problem.我想简单地谈一下这个问题的另一方面。
• He was kidnapped and briefly detained by a terrorist group.他被一个恐怖组织绑架并短暂拘禁。

14 weirdly   

古怪地

参考例句：

• Another special characteristic of Kweilin is its weirdly-shaped mountain grottoes. 桂林的另一特点是其形态怪异的岩洞。
• The country was weirdly transformed. 地势古怪地变了样。

15 pal   

n.朋友，伙伴，同志；vi.结为友

参考例句：

• He is a pal of mine.他是我的一个朋友。
• Listen,pal,I don't want you talking to my sister any more.听着，小子，我不让你再和我妹妹说话了。

16 spotted   

adj.有斑点的，斑纹的，弄污了的

参考例句：

• The milkman selected the spotted cows,from among a herd of two hundred.牛奶商从一群200头牛中选出有斑点的牛。
• Sam's shop stocks short spotted socks.山姆的商店屯积了有斑点的短袜。