"LEAH, dear, what troubles you this morning? Your melancholy1 look distresses2 me. Is it any sorrow that you dare not unfold to your loving
"LIZZIE?"
These lines Lizzie Heartwell slipped into the leaves of a book that lay upon Leah's desk, while she was absent at a music recitation.
By and by the bell sounded for the half hour's release from study. Then Leah stepped across the room, and gently taking Lizzie by the arm, said, "Come, let's walk."
Lizzie put her arm around her friend, and the two girls walked out into the court-yard, that formed a play-ground for the younger scholars and a pleasant promenade5 for the older ones, and then turned aside upon the brick walk that connected the kitchen and servants' hall with the main building.
This brick walk, covered overhead by the piazza6 floor of the second story of the wing of the building, was securely protected in all kinds of weather. As Leah and Lizzie turned upon this promenade, Bertha Levy7 came skipping up to them with a merry bound, saying:
"Come girls, let's have a game of graces. Helen is willing. Here she is. What do you say?"
"Excuse me this morning, Bertha," Leah replied. "I do not feel well; my head aches, and perhaps I can walk it away!"
"Oh! yes, certainly; but you are as solemn as an owl8, of late, Leah; what is the matter with you? Do you contemplate9 taking the veil? If so, is it the white or the black veil?"
"Our people never take the veil, Bertha. Do you forget?" replied Leah reproachfully.
"Forgive me, dear, I meant no harm. But I am in a hurry. Dame11 Truxton will have that old bell sounded directly, and my game of graces not even begun. I wish the old thing was still in its native ore, and not always ready to call us into trouble;" and so saying, Bertha skipped away, calling, "Here, Mag Lawton, Mary Pinckney, come and play graces."
For a moment Lizzie and Leah stood watching the group as it formed, and admiring the graceful12 movements of the hoops13 as they flew from the fairylike wands of the girls. "That game is well called," said Lizzie, as Leah caught her arm again and said:
"Come, let's walk on." Then, after a pause, she continued, "I found your note, Lizzie, and I am sorry that I have such a telltale face; but I am unhappy, Lizzie; yes, I am miserable14, and I cannot conceal15 it. I would not obtrude16 my sorrow upon others, but it is my face and not my tongue that betrays me."
"Do not think, Leah, I beg you, that I would seek to pry17 into the secret of your heart," responded Lizzie; "but I thought if you were in trouble, maybe I might in some way comfort you."
"I thank you, dear, dear Lizzie, for your sympathy"--and a tear fell from the lustrous18 lashes19 of the Jewess; "I thank you again and again," she continued, "but nothing you can do can alleviate20 my sorrow."
"Well, you can trust me for sympathy and love always, whether that will comfort you or not, Leah; be your trouble what it may."
"Mine is no sudden grief, Lizzie; it is a long, sad story, one that I have never felt at liberty to inflict21 upon any one's hearing, and yet, I have always found you so tender and so true, that when any additional sorrow comes to me my heart strangely turns to you for sympathy. I know not why. Can you tell me?"
"We always turn to those who love us, I think, in hours of darkness."
"Yes, Lizzie, but there is a peculiar22 yearning23, in my heart for you, at times. I imagine it's akin4 to the feeling I should have for my mother, were she living. With this feeling at my heart, I long to look upon my mother's miniature which I once had, but which is now in my step-mother's possession, and to gaze upon the face that speaks such love to me, though her voice has so long been silent."
Lizzie, touched at Leah's pathetic words, turned and looked at her friend with a tender glance, and said, "Trust me, Leah, for that sympathy which you from some cause need, and unburden your aching heart to me, if you choose."
"But, there! the bell is ringing and we must go," said Leah abruptly24. "Let's meet after school in the upper corridor, that overlooks the sea. I have something further to say to you."
"If you wish, dear Leah; and it's but a short two hours till dismission. Let's go."
Cloaked and hooded25, the school-girls were all ready for departure after the three long, welcome strokes of the great clock; when Leah said, "It's growing chilly26, Lizzie. Wrap your shawl closely around you, for it's cold out on the corridor. Come, let's go out at the rear door before it is locked."
Ascending27 a spiral staircase, the two girls reached the upper corridor that ran across the south side of the end wing of the building.
"Suppose Madam Truxton should come upon us, Lizzie, what would she think?" said Leah, as the two girls crouched28 down closer together at the end of the corridor.
"Nothing wrong, I guess, as we have our books; and perhaps we had better look over our French a minute. What do you say?"
"So we had, as it comes first in the morning," and bending their heads together the girls were silent for a time, pretending to study. At length Lizzie closed the book, and Leah began her story. LEAH'S STORY.
"I shudder29, Lizzie, when I think of unfolding the sad story of my life to you; and yet, I am impelled30 to do so by this hunger for sympathy that is so constantly gnawing31 at my heart. As I have told you before, my heart strangely turns to you in sorrow. In the three years that I have known you, and we have seen each other daily, I have never known you guilty of a single act or word that was unworthy--"
"Oh! Leah--"
"Do not interrupt me, Lizzie. You must hear my story now, though it shall be briefly33 told; and I have one request to make, my dear. It is, that you have charity for my faults, and pity for me in my many temptations." She continued:
"As you have known before, my mother died when I was a very little child, scarcely three years old. I remember her but very indistinctly. The woman who is now my father's wife, was his housekeeper34 in my mother's life-time. She, of course, came from the common walks of life, her father being a very poor butcher. How she ever became my father's wife, I do not know; but my old nurse used to intimate to me that it was by no honorable means. Be that as it may, he married her when I was four years of age; and from that date my miserable story begins. The first incident of my life after this second marriage which I remember most vividly35 was this. A year after my father's marriage to Rebecca, business of importance called him to England, and a long-cherished desire to see his aged36 parents took him to Bohemia, where they lived, after the business in Liverpool was transacted37. How I fared while he was gone, I dimly remember; but well enough, I suppose, as I was still partially38 under the care and control of my faithful nurse, a colored woman of kind and tender heart.
"Poor, dear old woman, she is dead long ago!
"This visit of my father to his parents proved to be the last, as they died a year or two afterward39. Among my father's relatives in the old country, was a cousin who lived in wealth and luxury somewhere in Saxony. This cousin had been as a brother to him in his young days, and on my father's return from Bohemia, he passed through Saxony and paid this cousin a visit; He still speaks occasionally of that delightful40 event. I must not forget to tell you that this cousin was a baron41--Baron von Rosenberg. He was not born to the title; it was conferred on him for some heroic act, the circumstance of which I do not now remember, during an insurrection.
"At parting with my father at the close of his visit, the Baron made him many costly42 gifts; among others, one of an elegant pipe of rare and exquisite43 workmanship. How distinctly I recall it now! It was in the shape of an elk44's head, with spreading, delicately wrought45 antlers. The eyes were formed of some kind of precious stones, and on the face of the elk were the Baron's initials inlaid in gold.
"The stem, I remember well, was of ebony, richly ornamented46 with gold. I suppose it was a magnificent thing of its kind, and prized beyond measure by my father. He used it only on rare occasions, and for the gratification of our guests. But at length an event occurred that called forth47 the treasured pipe from its casket, never to be returned. It was on the occasion of the third anniversary of my father's marriage to Rebecca Hartz--an occasion that richly deserved sackcloth and ashes instead of feasting and merriment. But the day was one of grand demonstration48, and many guests and friends were in attendance. All the articles of value and luxury belonging to the family were brought into requisition, and among the number, the treasured but ill-fated pipe. The guests ate, drank, and were merry, I suppose, till all were sated, and at a late and lonely hour they left my father's house deserted49, with disorder50 reigning51 supreme52 in every apartment.
"'Forget not my elk's head, Rebecca,' was my father's last admonition, as he retired53 to his bed-chamber54, after the revel55 was over.
"But Rebecca did not heed56 his command, and being fatigued57 herself, hurriedly retired, saying, 'I'll wait till morning.'
"Morning came, and unfortunately for me, I was the first to awaken58. Hastily dressing59, I thought I would explore the scene of the late festivity; and so I descended60 the stairs and entered the silent, deserted drawing-room. In a few moments, Rebecca herself entered the drawing-room, but partially dressed and wrapped in a crimson61 shawl. She had come to remove the pipe.
"'Why are you up so early, Leah?' she said confusedly, seeing that I was also in the room. And then, as she passed hurriedly around the table where the pipe lay, the treacherous62 fringe of her shawl caught in the delicate antlers of the elk's head and dragged it from its place upon the table. It fell to the floor with a crash, and we both looked down in dismay on the wreck63 at her feet. A footstep sounded in the hall at that moment, and fearing it was my father, Rebecca said boldly, and with gleaming eye:
"'What did you do that for, you wretched child?'
"'Do what?' I whispered, overawed.
"'Deny it, if you dare, and I'll break every bone in your body, you lynx! What will your father say?' she continued. 'Pick up every piece, and go and show it to him. Say you broke it, and ask his forgiveness! Do you hear me?'
"I hesitated and trembled.
"'Dare you disobey me?' she angrily exclaimed, with menacing gesture.
"'I am afraid of my father,' I whispered again, scarcely knowing whether I really did the mischief65 or not.
"'And well you may be," she continued fearlessly, seeing that she was gaining the mastery over me; 'but the sooner you seek his forgiveness, the sooner you will obtain it. Go at once, I tell you.'
"Oh! pity me, Lizzie! pity me, for from that fatal moment, I have been the slave, the serf, of a stronger will--a will that has withered66 and crushed out, by slow degrees, the last trace of moral courage that might have beautified and strengthened my character; crushed it out, and left me a cowardly, miserable, helpless girl! But to return.
"Involuntarily I stooped down, and began to pick up the pieces of the fragile horns, and the eyes of the elk's head, that lay scattered67 around upon the soft carpet, really wondering if, indeed, I did break it.
"'Now you have gathered up the pieces, go at once to your father; and mind you tell him you broke it. Do you hear me?'
"I glided68 out of the room, away from the presence of the woman who had so cruelly imposed upon my helplessness. Trembling with fear, and a sense of my supposed guilt32, I approached my father, who was by this time comfortably seated in the family sitting-room69, reading the morning paper.
"I crept to him and held out the fragments.
"'The d--l to pay! Who broke this?' he almost shouted in anger.
"'I did,' I murmured; and the rest of my story unspoken, my father struck me a blow for the first and last time in his life. It sent me reeling against a table; the sharp corner struck my forehead and cut a terrible gash70. Here, I will show it to you. It is plainly visible, and always will be."
Leah lifted the glossy71 dark hair from her smooth pale forehead, and displayed the long, hard scar, that was so carefully concealed72 by the ebon folds. "I always wear my hair combed to hide it."
"Oh! Leah, Leah," sighed Lizzie, "how dreadful!"
"At sight of the blood that flowed freely from the wound, my father caught me in his arms, and kissing my blood-stained face, exclaimed again and again:
"'Fool, wretch64, devil, that I am! Not for all the world would I have shed a drop of this precious blood. I beg your forgiveness, my darling--a thousand times, my child!' My cries, though suppressed, brought my mother to the room. With a well-assumed air of innocence73 and tenderness, she sought to wipe away the blood from my face, and bind74 up the gash upon my forehead. I all the while abstractedly wondering if I really did break the pipe; such was my weakness, such the power that was over and around my young life, and is yet, even to this very hour.
"My father gathered up the scattered fragments of the broken treasure and cast them into the fire; and from that day to this, he has never alluded75 in any manner to that occurrence. Always kind and tender to me, he seems to be ever endeavoring to atone76 for some wrong, and his long-continued silence assures me how vividly and regretfully he remembers his violence toward me."
"Shocking!" ejaculated Lizzie with emotion.
"Yes, it is shocking, dear Lizzie; for the horrible truth is ever before me, and this hated scar is the seal of the first lie of my tender young life. I never comb my hair away from my face, so morbidly77 am I impressed with the fear that those who see it will read the cause of its existence. Oh! Lizzie, that falsehood, and that cruel deception78 imposed upon a helpless child, were terrible indeed, too terrible to be borne.
"But I must proceed. I have dwelt thus minutely upon this first unhappy incident of my childhood, because it is a sort of guide-post to a long and dreary79 waste of years. It forms the headstone of my departed freedom, for, as I have said, in that evil moment when I yielded to her wicked, imperious will, I lost all moral power, and to this day, am worse than her vassal80. Try as I may, I cannot shake off the habit; it has become second nature, and her influence now is so withering81 that I dare not make resistance; and yet, I despise myself for my weakness. Pity me, Lizzie, do not blame me! There's a moral want about me somewhere, Heaven knows, that no human agency can supply.
"My mother's assumed fondness for me led my father to believe that she loved me truly, and was tender and kind as she should be. He never dreamed of her deception. And to this day, he knows nothing of it, for I have never told him any of my trials and sorrows, since the day he struck me that undeserved blow. I love my father tenderly, and yet I cannot, dare not, unfold to his blinded vision the facts that have so long been concealed from him. No, Lizzie, I would rather suffer on as I must do, than darken his life by such a discovery.
"Thus you see something of how the years passed on. I, a helpless, ill-used orphan82, growing older and and stronger day by day, and yet morally weaker and weaker, with no will or power of resistance, till I wonder sometimes that I am not an imbecile indeed.
"I thank the great God for my school-days. They have been days of pleasure and benefit to me. They have taken me from that home where I withered as the dew withers83 before the glaring sun, and cast me among pleasant friends, who seem to love me, and at least are true and kind. True and kind! Dear Lizzie, you cannot comprehend the significance of that expression. To my starved, wretched heart, these words are the fulness of all speech. I comprehend their meaning, and regard them as I do the burning stars afar, shining dimly upon a darkened world.
"Yes; again I say, I thank the great God for these school-days, that led me to know you, Lizzie--you, to whom my heart has learned to turn as a wounded, helpless bird would turn to its mother's sheltering wing for safety and protection."
Touched by Leah's story, and her protestations of love, Lizzie bowed her head in her hands, and a few tears fell through the slender fingers. Observing these tears, Leah bent84 forward and kissed them away, saying, "These are the first tears I ever saw fall for me." Then she continued:
"It is not necessary to dwell on the innumerable instances of cruelty and wrong that have marked my life, from the period just mentioned, on to the present. It is enough to say that many events in my home-life have left their searing impress on my heart and brain; and many, I thank God, have faded from my memory. But when I was fifteen, about the time you and I entered this seminary, an event took place, that has deeply wounded my heart, and will leave it sore forever. It was this:
"Very early on the morning of my fifteenth birthday, my father came to my chamber and congratulated me with many kisses, giving me his blessing85. Then he said:
"'My daughter, I have here the miniature of your mother, taken before your birth. I had it set in diamonds then, for you, my child, little dreaming she would so soon be taken from us both. I have kept it securely locked away, waiting till you were old enough properly to appreciate its value. Now to-day, on your fifteenth birth-day, I have called forth the treasure, and give it to you forever. Take it; keep it carefully, my child, for the sake of the living as well as the dead.' My father laid the miniature in my hand, and turned away with ill-disguised emotion. Softly, and with trembling hand, I opened the casket that contained the treasure, and for the first time since her death, my eyes rested upon the dimly remembered features of my angel mother.
"O Lizzie Heartwell! At the first glimpse of that sweet, but half-forgotten face, I fell, like a helpless thing that I was, to the floor, prostrate86 with emotion. How long I remained thus overcome by sorrow and weeping, I know not. I knew nothing till the old familiar voice, harsh, cold, and cruel, fell upon my ear as the door opened.
"'Leah Mordecai, why are you lying there crying like a booby? What's the matter with you?' said my mother.
"Involuntarily I hushed my sobs87, dried my tears, and arose to my feet.
"'What have you there, baby?' she continued.
"Without a word I handed her the casket, and as she regarded the sweet, mild face with cruel scorn, she said:
"'What's this you are blubbering over? Didn't you ever see a painted-faced doll before? Who gave you this?'
"'My father,' I replied fearfully; 'and it's the picture of my mother, my own dear mother that's dead.'
"My reply seemed to enrage88 her, and she said, 'The diamonds are beautiful, but I can't say as much for the face. I suppose you consider that you have no mother now; from all this whimpering. See here, Leah,' she added as a sudden thought seemed to strike her, 'You are too young to keep such a costly gift as this. I'll take it, and keep it myself till you have sense enough to know what diamonds are.'
"'Give it back to me,' I said excitedly, daring to hold out my trembling hand.
"'Indeed I shall not,' she angrily replied, pushing back the importunate89 hand.
"'Your father is a fool, to have given a child like you such a valuable thing as this. I'll see if he gives my Sarah this many diamonds when she is but a child of fifteen. And now, mind you, Leah Mordecai,' she continued, with a triumphant90 smile upon her wicked face, 'if you dare tell your father I took this from you, you'll repent91 it sorely. Mark my warning; say nothing about it unless asked, and then say you gave it to me for safe keeping.' She dropped the casket into her dress pocket, and swept coldly out of the room.
"The door closed behind her, and I was alone in my misery92 and my wrath93. In my bitterness I cursed the woman who thus dared to crush a helpless little worm beneath her wicked foot, and, falling on my face again, I implored94 the great God to let me die, to take me to that mother whom I so deeply mourned.
"It's growing chilly out here, Lizzie," continued Leah after a pause; "suppose we leave the corridor, and find shelter in the hall of the wing. We can sit in the great window at the end of the hall, overlooking the sea. There we shall be secure from intrusion."
Lizzie bowed assent95, and after the two girls were snugly96 seated in the great window, Leah continued her story:
"She has kept the miniature to this day, and for three long years, no matter how my eyes have longed for a glimpse of that sweet face, I have never dared to ask for it. Many times she has worn it, in great state, in her treacherous bosom97, my father always supposing that I loaned it as a special token of affection,--such, at least, was the story she told him, and I have never dared contradict her." As Leah finished this incident, her dark eye seem to kindle98 with a new light and a quiver ran through her frame. She added, with strange emphasis:
"One thing I would say, Lizzie, before passing from this subject, and mark my words; my spirit is not so broken nor my sense of justice so blunted but that one day I shall have that miniature again. I have sworn it, and as I live, I'll keep my vow99. But I must hasten on; it is already growing late. I come now to the last and sorest trouble of my life.
"For many years I have known Mark Abrams, the son of our rabbi. We have been children and friends together, almost from the time my mother died. He was always so gentle and kind to me in his boyhood, that I often wondered what the world would be without Mark Abrams in it. He was always the object of my childish admiration100, and, indeed, the only friend I ever had who dared, or cared to show me any kindness. A year ago now; a little more than a year, he whispered to me a tender tale of love, and my poor heart thrilled with ecstasy101 at his words. Yes, he asked me to become his wife, when my school days should be ended, and I promised him that I would.
"No one knew at that sweet time, of his love for me. I did not dream of it myself, till he told me--surprised me, with the unexpected revelation. I begged that our happiness be kept a secret until my school days were finished. This was my fatal mistake. You know our people have few secret engagements, and if I had only allowed Mark to speak to my father at first, then all would have been well. But the enemy has at last overtaken me, and I fear I am conquered and ruined forever. For some months I have thought that my step-mother suspected my secret, and have imagined that I could detect her intention to break the attachment102 if she found her suspicion to be correct. Her every action has betrayed this intention. I have at times vaguely103 hinted my trials and sorrows to Mark, but of the extent of that woman's evil designing, he has had no conception. I was ashamed to acquaint him fully10 with her true character. Would that I had, dear Lizzie! would that I had, long ago! My fears that Mark was being led into the subtle web of that evil woman's weaving, and would surely be taken from me, were confirmed by his absence from Bertha Levy's tea-party. He promised me to attend, and my step-mother offered some inducement that kept him away. To resist her will, one must have the strength of a Hercules.
"Lizzie! Lizzie! I cannot tell you more; the sequel of my fears is too dreadful to unfold! Even yet, my poor heart struggles to disbelieve it." Leah dropped her head for a moment, while a sigh escaped her tremulous lips, and was silent.
"Go on, dear Leah. Tell me all," said Lizzie.
And Leah continued. "For a long time I have been perplexed104 to know where my step-mother kept the key to a small cabinet drawer that I believed contained my long-hidden miniature. By diligent105 search, I found it the day after Bertha's party, and, feeling unusually unhappy, I determined106, if possible, to see my mother's face once more. It was Sunday, and that night we were invited to some private theatricals107 at Mr. Israel Bachman's, whose daughter had just returned from school. You may remember his house on Vine street. I declined to attend. By remaining at home, I thought I could accomplish my purpose of discovering the hidden treasure.
"The cabinet was placed in the large closet attached to the sitting-room. To explore it, I must conceal myself in the closet. After the family departed, leaving me sole occupant of the house, a friend called. When her visit ended, I was interrupted again by the servant, so that it was late before I could begin my secret work. At last all was quiet, and my explorations began. First one key, and then another, was applied108 to the lock, but without success. I worked away hopefully, knowing the right one would come in turn if I were not interrupted. Drawer after drawer was opened and when the right keys were at last found, not one yielded up the coveted109 prize. I trembled with fear of disappointment. Only one remained to be opened; what if that were empty, too? Slowly and with trembling hand I applied the key to this last delicate lock. Just then I heard a sound in the hall, and footsteps approaching. What should I do? Without stopping to reflect, I closed the closet-door. As I did so, the sitting-room door was opened, and my step-mother entered, accompanied by Mark Abrams.
"'Be seated,' my mother said blandly110; and in my covert111 I wondered what could be coming. Mark obeyed, and drawing his chair nearer the fire waited till she had laid aside her wrappings and seated herself in front of him. Then she said:
"'It's too bad, Mark, that your love for Leah is so misplaced; but, as I have told you before as mildly as possible, there are reasons why her father would never consent--reasons that are unalterable. Aside from poor Leah's unfortunate deformity, there--'
"'Deformity!' ejaculated Mark, in utter surprise, 'I would like to know how she is deformed112? She, the most perfect model that was ever cast in mortal mould.'
"'Still, my friend, I feel that it is but just and proper that I acquaint you with a painful fact; dear Leah is deformed.'
"'And how?' Mark uttered hoarsely113.
"'She suffers from a spinal114 affection, that will in time render her a hideous115 deformity, and perhaps a helpless, hopeless invalid116.'
"'Merciful Heavens!' uttered Mark, with shocked and incredulous expression, as he sat gazing into the fire. At length he said:
"'God knows how sorry I am to hear that, for I love her, love her fondly!'
"Quickly discerning the effect of her story, my step-mother with well-feigned feeling continued:
"'After Leah's school-term is ended, her father contemplates117 taking her to Europe for medical advice and skill, and in case of improvement, which is scarcely supposable or to be hoped for, he has long ago promised her hand to the son of a wealthy cousin somewhere in that country--Baron von something--I can't remember hard names.'
"At length Mark looked up again and said:
"'Mrs. Mordecai, do not distress3 me farther. How can I credit your story? How can I believe that Miss Leah is aught but what she seems--the embodiment of health and beauty? Alas118! for my broken, vanished hopes! Alas! for my golden dreams of the future!'
"'Oh! don't take things too much to heart, my boy. Leah does not care for you very much anyway. It will be but a small disappointment to her, if indeed she ever thought seriously of marrying you; and I remember to have heard her say that she never intended to marry-- conscious of her affliction, I suppose.'
"Mark winced119 under these words, and replied, 'She need not have deceived me.'
"'Oh! girls will be girls, you know; and after you get over this trouble, if you still like the name, remember, here is Leah's sister Sarah, as fine a girl as you'll find anywhere, if she is my daughter.'
"'I could love her for her sister's sake, if nothing more,' said Mark with feeling; and then he bowed his head upon the marble mantel and looked steadily120 into the fire without a word.
"'Then if you desire,' continued my step-mother, with a little assumed hesitation121, 'after reflection, you may speak to her father on the subject. Sarah will make a fine wife.'
"Think of me, Lizzie! Think of me, in that miniature dungeon122, silently listening to the death sentence of my earthly happiness! Think of my weakness, in mutely listening to the lie that was, perhaps, to wreck my whole life! Think of me, and pity me!" Leah brushed away a tear, the first that had fallen from her stony123 eyes since the beginning of her story; and then she continued:
"If Mark heeded124 these last words of my step-mother, he gave no evidence of it, for he continued to stare blindly at the glowing grate, apparently125 oblivious126 of every surrounding object. At length he aroused, and said:
"'I must be going. Mrs. Mordecai, I bid you good night.'
"'Stay longer, I pray,' rejoined my step-mother; and he replied:
"'Not to-night; it's late now, and I must be alone. Alone!' he reiterated127 sorrowfully, and then was gone in a moment. All this time, Lizzie, I had stood shivering in my hiding-place, with my trembling hand almost benumbed by the cold granite128 knob, by which I held the door. I scarcely dared to breathe, for fear my presence would be revealed. The ordeal129 was terrible, I assure you! I thanked Heaven when I heard the library door open and close again, this time upon the receding130 figure of my step-mother, for then I was free again--free to breathe, and to move, and to sigh, if I chose, without betraying my hiding-place, or the cause of my concealment131. I need not, could not if I chose, tell you of my feelings on that occasion. I remember them but dimly, even now. But this much I do remember, and so it shall be. I resolved that Mark Abrams should be free, rather than be undeceived by any word of mine. My pride, the little that is left in my soul, and my resentment132, the shadow of it that yet lingers about me, struggled for a time in a fierce contest, and as usual, I yielded up my rights, and succumbed133 again to a cruel fate. My heart has given up its treasure, and he will never know aught of the bitter | sacrifice. I feel that I am ill-fated and despised, Lizzie; and feeling so, I do not desire to overshadow the life of Mark Abrams. I love him too much, too dearly, ever to becloud his future with my miserable life. I would rather live on and suffer in silence, as I have done for years, unloved and unloving to the end."
Here the beautiful girl ceased her story. Both friends for a time were silent. In Lizzie's soft blue eyes the tears glistened134, and she looked with surprise into the cold, hard face of Leah, which had lost its gentle expression, and seemed petrified135 by this recital136 of her woes137. Then she said:
"Would I could help you, Leah, by sharing your sorrow."
"No mortal being can help me, Lizzie. I am ill-starred and ill-fated, I fear."
Filled with sympathy, and with a heavy heart, Lizzie bent her head, and laid it in Leah's lap; and her silent prayer, though unheard by mortal ear, ascended138 to the throne of the Eternal Father, and was answered in the far-off future.
"It's late, and we must go," said Leah; "already the street lamps are being lighted, and I shall have to render some good excuse for being out so late."
"So we must; it is growing late," Lizzie replied.
"Remember now, I trust you, Lizzie," said Leah.
"Never fear; I shall never betray your confidence."
Then the two girls left the window, walked hastily through the hall and corridor, down the spiral staircase, out into the street, and turned homeward.
收听单词发音 |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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distresses
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| n.悲痛( distress的名词复数 )；痛苦；贫困；危险 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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5
promenade
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| n./v.散步 | |
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6
piazza
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| n.广场；走廊 | |
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7
levy
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| n.征收税或其他款项，征收额 | |
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8
owl
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| n.猫头鹰，枭 | |
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9
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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10
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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11
dame
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| n.女士 | |
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12
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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13
hoops
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| n.箍( hoop的名词复数 )；（篮球）篮圈；（旧时儿童玩的）大环子；（两端埋在地里的）小铁弓 | |
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14
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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15
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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16
obtrude
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| v.闯入；侵入；打扰 | |
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17
pry
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| vi.窥(刺)探，打听；vt.撬动(开，起) | |
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18
lustrous
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| adj.有光泽的；光辉的 | |
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19
lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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20
alleviate
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| v.减轻，缓和，缓解(痛苦等) | |
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21
inflict
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| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
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22
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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23
yearning
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| a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的 | |
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24
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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25
hooded
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| adj.戴头巾的；有罩盖的；颈部因肋骨运动而膨胀的 | |
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26
chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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27
ascending
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| adj.上升的，向上的 | |
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28
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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29
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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30
impelled
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| v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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31
gnawing
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| a.痛苦的，折磨人的 | |
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32
guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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33
briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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34
housekeeper
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| n.管理家务的主妇，女管家 | |
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35
vividly
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| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
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36
aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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37
transacted
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| v.办理（业务等）( transact的过去式和过去分词 )；交易，谈判 | |
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38
partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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39
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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40
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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41
baron
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| n.男爵；(商业界等)巨头，大王 | |
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42
costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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43
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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44
elk
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| n.麋鹿 | |
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45
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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46
ornamented
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| adj.花式字体的v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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48
demonstration
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| n.表明，示范，论证，示威 | |
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49
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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50
disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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51
reigning
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| adj.统治的，起支配作用的 | |
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52
supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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53
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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54
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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55
revel
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| vi.狂欢作乐，陶醉；n.作乐，狂欢 | |
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56
heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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57
fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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58
awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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59
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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60
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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61
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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62
treacherous
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|
| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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63
wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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64
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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65
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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66
withered
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|
| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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67
scattered
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|
| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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68
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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69
sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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70
gash
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| v.深切，划开；n.(深长的)切(伤)口；裂缝 | |
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71
glossy
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|
| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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72
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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73
innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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74
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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75
alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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76
atone
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|
| v.赎罪，补偿 | |
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77
morbidly
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|
| adv.病态地 | |
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78
deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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79
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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80
vassal
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|
| n.附庸的；属下；adj.奴仆的 | |
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81
withering
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| 使人畏缩的，使人害羞的，使人难堪的 | |
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82
orphan
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|
| n.孤儿；adj.无父母的 | |
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83
withers
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| 马肩隆 | |
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84
bent
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|
| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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85
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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86
prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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87
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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88
enrage
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| v.触怒，激怒 | |
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89
importunate
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| adj.强求的；纠缠不休的 | |
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90
triumphant
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|
| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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91
repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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92
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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93
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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94
implored
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| 恳求或乞求（某人）( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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95
assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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96
snugly
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| adv.紧贴地；贴身地；暖和舒适地；安适地 | |
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97
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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98
kindle
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| v.点燃，着火 | |
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99
vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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100
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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101
ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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102
attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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103
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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104
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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105
diligent
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| adj.勤勉的，勤奋的 | |
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106
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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107
theatricals
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| n.（业余性的）戏剧演出，舞台表演艺术；职业演员；戏剧的( theatrical的名词复数 )；剧场的；炫耀的；戏剧性的 | |
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108
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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109
coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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110
blandly
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| adv.温和地，殷勤地 | |
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111
covert
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| adj.隐藏的；暗地里的 | |
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112
deformed
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| adj.畸形的；变形的；丑的，破相了的 | |
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113
hoarsely
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| adv.嘶哑地 | |
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114
spinal
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| adj.针的，尖刺的，尖刺状突起的；adj.脊骨的，脊髓的 | |
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115
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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116
invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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117
contemplates
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的第三人称单数 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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118
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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119
winced
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| 赶紧避开，畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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120
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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121
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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122
dungeon
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| n.地牢，土牢 | |
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123
stony
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| adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的 | |
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124
heeded
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| v.听某人的劝告，听从( heed的过去式和过去分词 )；变平，使（某物）变平( flatten的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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125
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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126
oblivious
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| adj.易忘的，遗忘的，忘却的，健忘的 | |
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127
reiterated
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| 反复地说，重申( reiterate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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128
granite
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| adj.花岗岩，花岗石 | |
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129
ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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130
receding
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的现在分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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131
concealment
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| n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒 | |
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132
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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133
succumbed
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的过去式和过去分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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134
glistened
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| v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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135
petrified
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| adj.惊呆的；目瞪口呆的v.使吓呆，使惊呆；变僵硬；使石化(petrify的过去式和过去分词) | |
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136
recital
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| n.朗诵，独奏会，独唱会 | |
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137
woes
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| 困境( woe的名词复数 )； 悲伤； 我好苦哇； 某人就要倒霉 | |
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138
ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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