MANY strange and unforeseen events have overtaken and seriously damaged the prospects2 of various great monarchs4, and indeed nipped their career in the very bud. At least, so it is written in history. But I venture to assert, that never until the history of General Roger Sherman Potter was given to the world, could there be found any record of a great monarch3 who had ruled supreme6 over a kingdom, won battles such as mankind never had dreamed of, and indeed gained so much glory that every general in the nation was envious7 of it, escaping, on a mule8, from the country he had conquered, and leaving his army to the devil and the enemy. Your exacting9 critic may say, there is Napoleon! But I would have him bear in mind, that while Napoleon sent terror to the very heart of nations, the presence of General Potter was a sign of feasting and merriment, which things are blessings10, mankind stand much in need of.
But why do I thus give way to my giddy brain? Why, too, should I thus rudely abandon my hero when on his return to the land where he drew his first breath, carrying with him no less than a multitude of laurels11? Nay12! though my few remaining locks are silvered with the frosts of four-score winters, and my almost palsied hand refuses to render me further service, I will not thus leave him to his fate. Having been ruler over Kalorama, I am sensitive of his virtues13, and would give the world rather than have him damage his reputation. To enter New York, then, with his glories yet moist upon his garments, and give himself up to the follies14 of those who follow the trade of setting up heroes, would be to consign15 himself to an oblivion no man need envy. Being of a humane16 turn, I am resolved this shall not be, though it were necessary to invoke17 the power of the saints to prevent it.
In resuming, then, I will merely mention that General Potter and the critic arrived safe at Jolliffee, the former feeling a regret now and then for the loss of his kingdom, and the latter scarcely giving a thought to his Angelio. And, as heaven favors the vanquished18, so they found in the harbor of Jolliffe a brig, which had therein sought shelter from a storm. Taking advantage of this fortunate circumstance-for the brig was bound to New York-they sold their mules19, and with the price nicely in their pockets, proceeded on board and demanded passage for charity's sake. And when they discovered what manner of men they were, the captain treated them with great consideration, and not only gave them of his best cheer, but was delighted at the chance of doing so kind an act as that of rescuing them from the clutches of the enemy and conveying them safely to their homes. He also shared his wardrobe with the general; but all his efforts to cheer his drooping20 spirits failed. The loss of his kingdom was no trifling21 matter; but the sufferings he had endured cured him of his ambition for worldly glories. And although the passage to New York was long and tedious, he would sit for hours, alone, and without exchanging a word with any one. Then again he would mutter to himself, "Worldly grandeurs-oh! what are they? God disposes all things! perhaps I did not deserve the kingdom; and so His will be done." Again he would sit gazing for hours at the stars, and sigh as if the cares of his forlorn heart were too heavy for him to bear.
I remember that once, during one of these reveries, he called Mr. Tickler to him, saying, "Remember, my trusty friend, I do not mourn the loss of this kingdom because I am weak at heart, but that it is natural for a man to reflect on his losses. All I now ask is that heaven will save me from a watery22 grave, and see me safe home to my wife Polly."
When they arrived at New York it turned out that divers23 newspapers had made great victories of all his reverses. And this so delighted his whole host of admirers that no sooner had the news of his return got noised about than they ran mad to meet him, discharged numerous cannons24, and indeed made so many demonstrations25 of joy that the whole city was on tip-toe to see him, and not a few otherwise sensible persons would have exchanged all their worldly goods for even a thread of his garments. A committee of faded heroes and highly flushed aldermen rushed to the Battery to pay him homage26, and would have had him drawn27 through the city by the lean horses I have before described. But unlike another great hero I have in my eye, he yielded to the promptings of his modesty28, took leave of Mr. Tickler with tears in his eyes, and with a little bundle under his arm, landed and walked quietly away. In fine, (and with reverence29 do I record it here to his credit) he shook his head, and when the committee of honor pressed upon him and seemed resolved that he should undergo no few ceremonies, he turned and addressed them thus: "Let me to my peace, gentlemen, for I am no fool. And if you be good and honest men, disturb not the peace of the community in this manner, but get to your homes; and if you cannot comfort your families, give what you can to the poor, and heaven will forgive you for your follies." Indeed, so firmly was he resolved to wash his hands of the world that no force of argument could have induced him to call upon Glenmoregain, whom he felt in his heart would be grievously disappointed that he had not returned with his pockets stuffed full of kingdoms.
And now, at early dawn of a November morning, a short, fat man, in tight-fitting garments and the hat of a priest, might have been seen stepping from on board a small schooner30 just arrived at Barnstable. His face was covered with a thick, coarse beard, his countenance31 wore a dejected air, and his raiment, if the hat be excepted, was shabby enough for a professional mountebank32 out of business. A chilly33 wind and a drizzling34 rain filled the heavens with gloom; mist-clouds rolled over the land; a gray fog trailed lazily along the harbor; the scudding35 clouds vaulted36 along the heavens as if driven by the furies; and, indeed, the drenched37 earth was bespread with a pall38 of gloom.
The dejected man-for such he seemed-adjusted the little bundle under his arm, looked confusedly upon each object that met his eye, and then picked his way, shivering, over the muddy road into the outskirts39 of the town, which was yet in a sound sleep. He was soon wet to the skin, and the great rain-drops that fell from his broad-brimmed hat added to the forlornness of his condition. The ducks by the roadside ran to their ponds quacking40 as he approached; and even the geese seemed to pity his condition, for they awoke to gabble him out a salutation, and having shook their feathers, they would sail in the same direction, so long as there was water, and then take leave of him with a loud gabbling. But this homage brought him no consolation41: indeed, the bleak42 earth seemed sending a deeper chill to his heart; and the brown leaf that hung twirling and dripping from the almost naked tree by the roadside, invested his feelings with a deeper melancholy43, for in it he read the sorrows of a dead summer.
Halting at the door of a little house, the roof overgrown with black moss44, the windows filled with rags, and poverty written upon every shingle45, he stood for several seconds hesitating and shivering. Now he fixed46 his eyes upon the ground and seemed giving his thoughts to the music of the rain-drops; now he turned his eyes sorrowfully upward, as if contemplating47 the driving clouds. And while I assert that not even the most keen-eyed observer of human things would have detected in this forlorn sojourner48 a professional warrior49 returning from the scene of endless victories, and now out of business, the reader, I am sure, will not be surprised when I inform him that this drenched traveler was no less a person than General Roger Sherman Potter, commonly called Roger Potter, the like of whose exploits modern history bears no record.
Having done ample penance50 in the storm, he shook the rain from his hat and knocked timidly at the door, to which he placed his ear and listened, as if counting with great exactness every second that intervened between its opening. Presently a little window at the side opened and a lean but well-browned face, framed in the grim border of a dusky night-cap, protruded51. Then a sharp, shrill52 voice inquired, "Who's there?"
"Heaven be blessed, Polly, it is your husband Roger!" replied the traveler, as the words faltered53 in his chattering54 teeth. Exclamations55 of joy so various that they have entirely56 escaped the writer of this history, followed this glad announcement. Thrice the good woman invoked57 the blessings of the angels; and, in truth, so bent58 did she seem on going mad with joy, that it was not for several minutes that she bethought herself of opening the door. But when she did, not a second elapsed until they were in each other's arms, unburdening their affections in kisses and such other tokens of the deep seated love they bore each other, that for minutes, and even hours, it seemed impossible they could survive their joys, which I here confess (lest some critic set me down for a malicious59 writer,) ran into tears, such being the most pious60 proof of perfect happiness.
When, then, they had wiped away their tears of joy, and were more composed, the good woman, having bid Roger be seated, said, "A merciful providence61, dear Roger, must have hovered62 over all your undertakings63, or you could not have gained them kingdoms you described in your letter-"
"Umph!" returned Roger, hanging down and shaking his head, "the kingdoms would be well enough if they did not slip so easily through one's fingers. And what is more, dear Polly, I have come to know that there is only one kingdom an honest man need have a longing64 for, which is the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, I am resolved for the rest of my days to covet65 no other."
"But you talk strangely, husband; for I can vow66 of my own knowledge that you would not have conquered all them kingdoms without bringing home cart-loads of gold. We have had a terrible struggle for bread, dear husband!"
"You surprise me, Polly! did I not send you a purse full of doubloons not long since?"
"The one you sent it with must have mistaken the road, husband, for he has not showed his face here."
"Here's where the kingdoms pinch," muttered Roger to himself; while at the same moment a little boy unrolled himself from the covering of a bed on the floor, and crying "father! father!" ran to the general, threw his little arms about his neck, and kissed him, and fondled over him, like one whose love knew no bounds. And these caresses67 the father returned with great paternal68 tenderness; but he was too much dejected in spirit to offer the child those merry tokens of his attachment69 which had so often amused him in days gone-by.
"Though I have conquered kingdoms enough, Polly," said the general, his eyes moistening with tears, "I am none the better for them now. In truth, I have nothing but the clothes I stand in; and having resolved that it was best to be an honest man, I was glad enough to get safely home, and wash my hands of these kingdoms, which I have left behind for them who have a turn for such things."
"Indeed, husband, I will think no more of these riches you promised me, if you will stay quietly at home, assist me in getting an honest livelihood70, and give your thoughts to God and the church. But how comes it that you are in the hat of a priest?"
The forlorn general picked up the hat, and having eyed it distrustfully, said in reply: "You must know, dear Polly, that though I gained some fame as a politician; that my valor71 as a military man no man ever dared doubt; and that no really great man ever had more undertakings; this hat is the only trophy72 left to me. And though my melancholy put a quick end to the rest of my days, I am resolved to preserve this relic73 of my lost kingdom, so that when my enemies scoff74 and say, "all the wonderful things that were written of him had no truth in them, except only as they appeared on paper, I can, pointing to this hat, say: 'here's the ducat!'"
"You are dearer to me than several kingdoms would be, dear Roger," resumed the honest woman, kissing him affectionately.
"And now, Polly," he rejoined, "give me an account of your trials and struggles during my absence, for I see care has written the history of many of them in your face."
The good woman immediately drew her chair beside him, and commenced giving an account of the many troubles and trials she had undergone; but so numerous were they, that it would be impossible to recount them all here. The little pictures which gave such a martial76 air to his home had been sold to get bread; death had kindly77 stepped in and relieved the mother of one daughter; the other was out at service. In short the forlornness pervading78 each object that met his eye, told how hard had been the struggle for bread. As she continued recounting her trials his grief deepened; but when she came to the death that had carried away his favorite child, his head dropped, and burying his face in his hands, he gave vent1 to his feelings in sobs79 and tears. "Heaven give me strength," he sighed, "that I may retain her sweet face in my memory." This was indeed a misfortune that seemed to shut the past from his thoughts, and to increase his sufferings as the future appeared to him in all its loneliness. And when he had partially80 recovered from this shock of grief, the good woman brought him food, for he was hungry; and also procured81 him a change of raiment from one of the neighbors, there not being a shred82 of his own in the house. And when he had satisfied his appetite, he turned to his wife, saying; "As these misfortunes which have overtaken me are incident to the lives of all great men, I hold it good policy that we mourn them not too long, but set to loving one another, that we may be cured of the sins of this world when death calls us away."
Polly at once fell in with this opinion; but being a sensible woman, was careful to add a clause stipulating83 that Roger give up politics and return to the making of shoes, at which employment there was some chance of getting food to maintain the body, without which there was no knowing what would become of the soul. His sword being in the possession of the priest, there was no immediate75 danger of a return of his military ardor84. As for governing, he made up his mind that the most worthy85 man in that line was the shepherd who provided well for the lambs of his own flock. "For truly," said he, "I have gained the applause of millions; but it has not saved my family from want." And with these salutary resolutions, he sought and obtained employment in the town; where he lives much respected by his neighbors, who, I must add, were not a little disappointed that he returned so unexpectedly and shabbily, for they had read in the newspapers that he was a great ruler, which, however, was strange enough, for they knew in their own minds that he was dull of intellect, and in truth had a disordered brain.
Many years after his return he went about seemingly much dejected. Indeed, he would avoid even his best friends, and go straight into a melancholy mood if in a merry moment any one ever touched upon his past career, though I ought to mention that he rarely appeared in the street without being saluted86 by little Barnstable, who would gather about him, and persist in offering him that species of homage it was accustomed to pay him in years gone by. But even this failed to excite the slightest love of adventure in his bosom87; and the star of his glory sank to rise no more.
And now, the stream of my compassion88 having run out, I have felt myself at liberty to desert many of the characters who figured so conspicuously89 in the early part of this history; and, indeed, to leave them in that state of glorious uncertainty90 for which critics have a perfect madness, since it furnishes their bountiful pens with means to show the greatness of their wisdom. But if any of these good natured gentlemen critics call me such names, as: "simpleton," "a fool and don't know it," "an idiot making an ass5 of himself," which exquisite91 expressions I have selected from the sayings of critics at this day, I would have them beware, since if I am old, my heart is none the less given to mischief92, and I have a rare knack93 for cracking the pates94 of those who say aught disrespectful of my books.
The End
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vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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monarch
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| n.帝王，君主，最高统治者 | |
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monarchs
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| 君主，帝王( monarch的名词复数 ) | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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envious
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| adj.嫉妒的，羡慕的 | |
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mule
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| n.骡子，杂种，执拗的人 | |
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exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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laurels
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| n.桂冠，荣誉 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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follies
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| 罪恶，时事讽刺剧； 愚蠢，蠢笨，愚蠢的行为、思想或做法( folly的名词复数 ) | |
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consign
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| vt.寄售（货品），托运，交托，委托 | |
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humane
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| adj.人道的，富有同情心的 | |
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invoke
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| v.求助于(神、法律)；恳求，乞求 | |
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vanquished
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| v.征服( vanquish的过去式和过去分词 )；战胜；克服；抑制 | |
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mules
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| 骡( mule的名词复数 )； 拖鞋； 顽固的人； 越境运毒者 | |
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drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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watery
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| adj.有水的，水汪汪的；湿的，湿润的 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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cannons
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| n.加农炮，大炮，火炮( cannon的名词复数 ) | |
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demonstrations
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| 证明( demonstration的名词复数 )； 表明； 表达； 游行示威 | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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modesty
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| n.谦逊，虚心，端庄，稳重，羞怯，朴素 | |
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reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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schooner
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| n.纵帆船 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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mountebank
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| n.江湖郎中；骗子 | |
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chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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drizzling
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| 下蒙蒙细雨，下毛毛雨( drizzle的现在分词 ) | |
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scudding
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| n.刮面v.（尤指船、舰或云彩）笔直、高速而平稳地移动( scud的现在分词 ) | |
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vaulted
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| adj.拱状的 | |
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drenched
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| adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体） | |
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pall
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| v.覆盖，使平淡无味；n.柩衣，棺罩；棺材；帷幕 | |
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outskirts
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| n.郊外，郊区 | |
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quacking
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| v.（鸭子）发出嘎嘎声( quack的现在分词 ) | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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bleak
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| adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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shingle
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| n.木瓦板；小招牌(尤指医生或律师挂的营业招牌)；v.用木瓦板盖（屋顶）；把（女子头发）剪短 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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sojourner
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| n.旅居者，寄居者 | |
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warrior
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| n.勇士，武士，斗士 | |
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penance
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| n.（赎罪的）惩罪 | |
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protruded
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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exclamations
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| n.呼喊( exclamation的名词复数 )；感叹；感叹语；感叹词 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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invoked
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| v.援引( invoke的过去式和过去分词 )；行使（权利等）；祈求救助；恳求 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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undertakings
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| 企业( undertaking的名词复数 )； 保证； 殡仪业； 任务 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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covet
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| vt.垂涎；贪图(尤指属于他人的东西) | |
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vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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livelihood
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| n.生计，谋生之道 | |
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valor
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| n.勇气，英勇 | |
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trophy
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| n.优胜旗，奖品，奖杯，战胜品，纪念品 | |
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relic
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| n.神圣的遗物，遗迹，纪念物 | |
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74
scoff
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| n.嘲笑，笑柄，愚弄；v.嘲笑，嘲弄，愚弄，狼吞虎咽 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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martial
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| adj.战争的，军事的，尚武的，威武的 | |
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77
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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pervading
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的现在分词 ) | |
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sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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81
procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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82
shred
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| v.撕成碎片，变成碎片；n.碎布条，细片，些少 | |
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83
stipulating
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| v.（尤指在协议或建议中）规定，约定，讲明（条件等）( stipulate的现在分词 )；规定，明确要求 | |
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ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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saluted
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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87
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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conspicuously
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| ad.明显地，惹人注目地 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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knack
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| n.诀窍，做事情的灵巧的，便利的方法 | |
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pates
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| n.头顶，（尤指）秃顶，光顶( pate的名词复数 ) | |
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