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The Last Word
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 The last of all these tales of Raffles1 is from a fresher and a sweeter pen. I give it exactly as it came to me, in a letter which meant more to me than it can possibly mean to any other reader. And yet, it may stand for something with those for whom these pale reflections have a tithe2 of the charm that the real man had for me; and it is to leave such persons thinking yet a little better of him (and not wasting another thought on me) that I am permitted to retail3 the very last word about their hero and mine.
 
The letter was my first healing after a chance encounter and a sleepless4 night; and I print every word of it except the last.
 
"39 CAMPDEN GROVE5 COURT, W.,
"June 28, 1900.
 
"DEAR HARRY6: You may have wondered at the very few words I could find to say to you when we met so strangely yesterday. I did not mean to be unkind. I was grieved to see you so cruelly hurt and lame7. I could not grieve when at last I made you tell me how it happened. I honor and envy every man of you—every name in those dreadful lists that fill the papers every day. But I knew about Mr. Raffles, and I did not know about you, and there was something I longed to tell you about him, something I could not tell you in a minute in the street, or indeed by word of mouth at all. That is why I asked you for your address.
 
"You said I spoke8 as if I had known Mr. Raffles. Of course I have often seen him playing cricket, and heard about him and you. But I only once met him, and that was the night after you and I met last. I have always supposed that you knew all about our meeting. Yesterday I could see that you knew nothing. So I have made up my mind to tell you every word.
 
"That night—I mean the next night—they were all going out to several places, but I stayed behind at Palace Gardens. I had gone up to the drawing-room after dinner, and was just putting on the lights, when in walked Mr. Raffles from the balcony. I knew him at once, because I happened to have watched him make his hundred at Lord's only the day before. He seemed surprised that no one had told me he was there, but the whole thing was such a surprise that I hardly thought of that. I am afraid I must say that it was not a very pleasant surprise. I felt instinctively9 that he had come from you, and I confess that for the moment it made me very angry indeed. Then in a breath he assured me that you knew nothing of his coming, that you would never have allowed him to come, but that he had taken it upon himself as your intimate friend and one who would be mine as well. (I said that I would tell you every word.)
 
"Well, we stood looking at each other for some time, and I was never more convinced of anybody's straightness and sincerity10; but he was straight and sincere with me, and true to you that night, whatever he may have been before and after. So I asked him why he had come, and what had happened; and he said it was not what had happened, but what might happen next; so I asked him if he was thinking of you, and he just nodded, and told me that I knew very well what you had done. But I began to wonder whether Mr. Raffles himself knew, and I tried to get him to tell me what you had done, and he said I knew as well as he did that you were one of the two men who had come to the house the night before. I took some time to answer. I was quite mystified by his manner. At last I asked him how he knew. I can hear his answer now.
 
"'Because I was the other man,' he said quite quietly; 'because I led him blindfold11 into the whole business, and would rather pay the shot than see poor Bunny suffer for it.'
 
"Those were his words, but as he said them he made their meaning clear by going over to the bell, and waiting with his finger ready to ring for whatever assistance or protection I desired. Of course I would not let him ring at all; in fact, at first I refused to believe him. Then he led me out into the balcony, and showed me exactly how he had got up and in. He had broken in for the second night running, and all to tell me that the first night he had brought you with him on false pretences12. He had to tell me a great deal more before I could quite believe him. But before he went (as he had come) I was the one woman in the world who knew that A. J. Raffles, the great cricketer, and the so-called 'amateur cracksman' of equal notoriety, were one and the same person.
 
"He had told me his secret, thrown himself on my mercy, and put his liberty if not his life in my hands, but all for your sake, Harry, to right you in my eyes at his own expense. And yesterday I could see that you knew nothing whatever about it, that your friend had died without telling you of his act of real and yet vain self-sacrifice! Harry, I can only say that now I understand your friendship, and the dreadful lengths to which it carried you. How many in your place would not have gone as far for such a friend? Since that night, at any rate, I for one have understood. It has grieved me more than I can tell you, Harry, but I have always understood.
 
"He spoke to me quite simply and frankly13 of his life. It was wonderful to me then that he should speak of it as he did, and still more wonderful that I should sit and listen to him as I did. But I have often thought about it since, and have long ceased to wonder at myself. There was an absolute magnetism14 about Mr. Raffles which neither you nor I could resist. He had the strength of personality which is a different thing from strength of character; but when you meet both kinds together, they carry the ordinary mortal off his or her feet. You must not imagine you are the only one who would have served and followed him as you did. When he told me it was all a game to him, and the one game he knew that was always exciting, always full of danger and of drama, I could just then have found it in my heart to try the game myself! Not that he treated me to any ingenious sophistries15 or paradoxical perversities. It was just his natural charm and humor, and a touch of sadness with it all, that appealed to something deeper than one's reason and one's sense of right. Glamour16, I suppose, is the word. Yet there was far more in him than that. There were depths, which called to depths; and you will not misunderstand me when I say I think it touched him that a woman should listen to him as I did, and in such circumstances. I know that it touched me to think of such a life so spent, and that I came to myself and implored17 him to give it all up. I don't think I went on my knees over it. But I am afraid I did cry; and that was the end. He pretended not to notice anything, and then in an instant he froze everything with a flippancy18 which jarred horribly at the time, but has ever since touched me more than all the rest. I remember that I wanted to shake hands at the end. But Mr. Raffles only shook his head, and for one instant his face was as sad as it was gallant19 and gay all the rest of the time. Then he went as he had come, in his own dreadful way, and not a soul in the house knew that he had been. And even you were never told!
 
"I didn't mean to write all this about your own friend, whom you knew so much better yourself, yet you see that even you did not know how nobly he tried to undo20 the wrong he had done you; and now I think I know why he kept it to himself. It is fearfully late—or early—I seem to have been writing all night—and I will explain the matter in the fewest words. I promised Mr. Raffles that I would write to you, Harry, and see you if I could. Well, I did write, and I did mean to see you, but I never had an answer to what I wrote. It was only one line, and I have long known you never received it. I could not bring myself to write more, and even those few words were merely slipped into one of the books which you had given me. Years afterward21 these books, with my name in them, must have been found in your rooms; at any rate they were returned to me by somebody; and you could never have opened them, for there was my line where I had left it. Of course you had never seen it, and that was all my fault. But it was too late to write again. Mr. Raffles was supposed to have been drowned, and everything was known about you both. But I still kept my own independent knowledge to myself; to this day, no one else knows that you were one of the two in Palace Gardens; and I still blame myself more than you may think for nearly everything that has happened since.
 
"You said yesterday that your going to the war and getting wounded wiped out nothing that had gone before. I hope you are not growing morbid22 about the past. It is not for me to condone23 it, and yet I know that Mr. Raffles was what he was because he loved danger and adventure, and that you were what you were because you loved Mr. Raffles. But, even admitting it was all as bad as bad could be, he is dead, and you are punished. The world forgives, if it does not forget. You are young enough to live everything down. Your part in the war will help you in more ways than one. You were always fond of writing. You have now enough to write about for a literary lifetime. You must make a new name for yourself. You must Harry, and you will!
 
"I suppose you know that my aunt, Lady Melrose, died some years ago? She was the best friend I had in the world, and it is thanks to her that I am living my own life now in the one way after my own heart. This is a new block of flats, one of those where they do everything for you; and though mine is tiny, it is more than all I shall ever want. One does just exactly what one likes—and you must blame that habit for all that is least conventional in what I have said. Yet I should like you to understand why it is that I have said so much, and, indeed, left nothing unsaid. It is because I want never to have to say or hear another word about anything that is past and over. You may answer that I run no risk! Nevertheless, if you did care to come and see me some day as an old friend, we might find one or two new points of contact, for I am rather trying to write myself! You might almost guess as much from this letter; it is long enough for anything; but, Harry, if it makes you realize that one of your oldest friends is glad to have seen you, and will be gladder still to see you again, and to talk of anything and everything except the past, I shall cease to be ashamed even of its length!
 
"And so good-by for the present from
"____"
 
I omit her name and nothing else. Did I not say in the beginning that it should never be sullied by association with mine? And yet—and yet—even as I write I have a hope in my heart of hearts which is not quite consistent with that sentiment. It is as faint a hope as man ever had, and yet its audacity24 makes the pen tremble in my fingers. But, if it be ever realized, I shall owe more than I could deserve in a century of atonement to one who atoned25 more nobly than I ever can. And to think that to the end I never heard one word of it from Raffles!

The End



 

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1 raffles 6c7d0b0857b474f06d345aeb445411eb     
n.抽彩售物( raffle的名词复数 )v.以抽彩方式售(物)( raffle的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • Elsa and I will buzz on to the Raffles bar. 埃尔莎和我继续往前去,到拉福尔旅馆的酒巴。 来自辞典例句
  • Tudsbury rushed to the Raffles and dictated this hot story to Pamela. 塔茨伯利冲到拉福尔旅馆,对帕米拉口述了这个最新消息。 来自辞典例句
2 tithe MoFwS     
n.十分之一税;v.课什一税,缴什一税
参考例句:
  • It's not Christ plus your tithe.这不是基督再加上你的什一税。
  • The bible tells us that the tithe is the lords.圣经说十分之一是献给主的。
3 retail VWoxC     
v./n.零售;adv.以零售价格
参考例句:
  • In this shop they retail tobacco and sweets.这家铺子零售香烟和糖果。
  • These shoes retail at 10 yuan a pair.这些鞋子零卖10元一双。
4 sleepless oiBzGN     
adj.不睡眠的,睡不著的,不休息的
参考例句:
  • The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
  • One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上,我听说了一个传闻,把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。
5 grove v5wyy     
n.林子,小树林,园林
参考例句:
  • On top of the hill was a grove of tall trees.山顶上一片高大的树林。
  • The scent of lemons filled the grove.柠檬香味充满了小树林。
6 harry heBxS     
vt.掠夺,蹂躏,使苦恼
参考例句:
  • Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天,人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
  • Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。
7 lame r9gzj     
adj.跛的,(辩解、论据等)无说服力的
参考例句:
  • The lame man needs a stick when he walks.那跛脚男子走路时需借助拐棍。
  • I don't believe his story.It'sounds a bit lame.我不信他讲的那一套。他的话听起来有些靠不住。
8 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
9 instinctively 2qezD2     
adv.本能地
参考例句:
  • As he leaned towards her she instinctively recoiled. 他向她靠近,她本能地往后缩。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He knew instinctively where he would find her. 他本能地知道在哪儿能找到她。 来自《简明英汉词典》
10 sincerity zyZwY     
n.真诚,诚意;真实
参考例句:
  • His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
  • He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。
11 blindfold blindfold     
vt.蒙住…的眼睛;adj.盲目的;adv.盲目地;n.蒙眼的绷带[布等]; 障眼物,蒙蔽人的事物
参考例句:
  • They put a blindfold on a horse.他们给马蒙上遮眼布。
  • I can do it blindfold.我闭着眼睛都能做。
12 pretences 0d462176df057e8e8154cd909f8d95a6     
n.假装( pretence的名词复数 );作假;自命;自称
参考例句:
  • You've brought your old friends out here under false pretences. 你用虚假的名义把你的那些狐朋狗党带到这里来。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
  • There are no pretences about him. 他一点不虚伪。 来自辞典例句
13 frankly fsXzcf     
adv.坦白地,直率地;坦率地说
参考例句:
  • To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说,我一点也不赞成这个主意。
  • Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说,我不反对改革。
14 magnetism zkxyW     
n.磁性,吸引力,磁学
参考例句:
  • We know about magnetism by the way magnets act.我们通过磁铁的作用知道磁性是怎么一回事。
  • His success showed his magnetism of courage and devotion.他的成功表现了他的胆量和热诚的魅力。
15 sophistries f5da383d4c8e87609b099a040d0193f1     
n.诡辩术( sophistry的名词复数 );(一次)诡辩
参考例句:
  • They refuted the "sophistries of the economists". 他们驳斥了“经济学家们似是而非的观点”。 来自柯林斯例句
16 glamour Keizv     
n.魔力,魅力;vt.迷住
参考例句:
  • Foreign travel has lost its glamour for her.到国外旅行对她已失去吸引力了。
  • The moonlight cast a glamour over the scene.月光给景色增添了魅力。
17 implored 0b089ebf3591e554caa381773b194ff1     
恳求或乞求(某人)( implore的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She implored him to stay. 她恳求他留下。
  • She implored him with tears in her eyes to forgive her. 她含泪哀求他原谅她。
18 flippancy fj7x5     
n.轻率;浮躁;无礼的行动
参考例句:
  • His flippancy makes it difficult to have a decent conversation with him.他玩世不恭,很难正经地和他交谈。
  • The flippancy of your answer peeved me.你轻率的回答令我懊恼。
19 gallant 66Myb     
adj.英勇的,豪侠的;(向女人)献殷勤的
参考例句:
  • Huang Jiguang's gallant deed is known by all men. 黄继光的英勇事迹尽人皆知。
  • These gallant soldiers will protect our country.这些勇敢的士兵会保卫我们的国家的。
20 undo Ok5wj     
vt.解开,松开;取消,撤销
参考例句:
  • His pride will undo him some day.他的傲慢总有一天会毁了他。
  • I managed secretly to undo a corner of the parcel.我悄悄地设法解开了包裹的一角。
21 afterward fK6y3     
adv.后来;以后
参考例句:
  • Let's go to the theatre first and eat afterward. 让我们先去看戏,然后吃饭。
  • Afterward,the boy became a very famous artist.后来,这男孩成为一个很有名的艺术家。
22 morbid u6qz3     
adj.病的;致病的;病态的;可怕的
参考例句:
  • Some people have a morbid fascination with crime.一些人对犯罪有一种病态的痴迷。
  • It's morbid to dwell on cemeteries and such like.不厌其烦地谈论墓地以及诸如此类的事是一种病态。
23 condone SnKyI     
v.宽恕;原谅
参考例句:
  • I cannot condone the use of violence.我不能宽恕使用暴力的行为。
  • I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war.我绝不允许任何导致战争的行为。
24 audacity LepyV     
n.大胆,卤莽,无礼
参考例句:
  • He had the audacity to ask for an increase in salary.他竟然厚着脸皮要求增加薪水。
  • He had the audacity to pick pockets in broad daylight.他竟敢在光天化日之下掏包。
25 atoned 25563c9b777431278872a64e99ce1e52     
v.补偿,赎(罪)( atone的过去式和过去分词 );补偿,弥补,赎回
参考例句:
  • He atoned for his sin with life. 他以生命赎罪。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • She had atoned for everything by the sacrifice she had made of her life. 她用牺牲生命来抵偿了一切。 来自辞典例句


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