"See Mr. Maturin's advertisement Daily Mail might suit you earnestly beg try will speak if necessary —— ——"
I transcribe2 the thing as I see it before me, all in one breath that took away mine; but I leave out the initials at the end, which completed the surprise. They stood very obviously for the knighted specialist whose consulting-room is within a cab-whistle of Vere Street, and who once called me kinsman3 for his sins. More recently he had called me other names. I was a disgrace, qualified4 by an adjective which seemed to me another. I had made my bed, and I could go and lie and die in it. If I ever again had the insolence5 to show my nose in that house, I should go out quicker than I came in. All this, and more, my least distant relative could tell a poor devil to his face; could ring for his man, and give him his brutal6 instructions on the spot; and then relent to the tune7 of this telegram! I have no phrase for my amazement8. I literally9 could not believe my eyes. Yet their evidence was more and more conclusive10: a very epistle could not have been more characteristic of its sender. Meanly elliptical, ludicrously precise, saving half-pence at the expense of sense, yet paying like a man for "Mr." Maturin, that was my distinguished11 relative from his bald patch to his corns. Nor was all the rest unlike him, upon second thoughts. He had a reputation for charity; he was going to live up to it after all. Either that, or it was the sudden impulse of which the most calculating are capable at times; the morning papers with the early cup of tea, this advertisement seen by chance, and the rest upon the spur of a guilty conscience.
Well, I must see it for myself, and the sooner the better, though work pressed. I was writing a series of articles upon prison life, and had my nib12 into the whole System; a literary and philanthropical daily was parading my "charges," the graver ones with the more gusto; and the terms, if unhandsome for creative work, were temporary wealth to me. It so happened that my first check had just arrived by the eight o'clock post; and my position should be appreciated when I say that I had to cash it to obtain a Daily Mail.
Of the advertisement itself, what is to be said? It should speak for itself if I could find it, but I cannot, and only remember that it was a "male nurse and constant attendant" that was "wanted for an elderly gentleman in feeble health." A male nurse! An absurd tag was appended, offering "liberal salary to University or public-school man"; and of a sudden I saw that I should get this thing if I applied13 for it. What other "University or public-school man" would dream of doing so? Was any other in such straits as I? And then my relenting relative; he not only promised to speak for me, but was the very man to do so. Could any recommendation compete with his in the matter of a male nurse? And need the duties of such be necessarily loathsome14 and repellent? Certainly the surroundings would be better than those of my common lodging-house and own particular garret; and the food; and every other condition of life that I could think of on my way back to that unsavory asylum15. So I dived into a pawnbroker's shop, where I was a stranger only upon my present errand, and within the hour was airing a decent if antiquated16 suit, but little corrupted17 by the pawnbroker's moth18, and a new straw hat, on the top of a tram.
The address given in the advertisement was that of a flat at Earl's Court, which cost me a cross-country journey, finishing with the District Railway and a seven minutes' walk. It was now past mid-day, and the tarry wood-pavement was good to smell as I strode up the Earl's Court Road. It was great to walk the civilized19 world again. Here were men with coats on their backs, and ladies in gloves. My only fear was lest I might run up against one or other whom I had known of old. But it was my lucky day. I felt it in my bones. I was going to get this berth20; and sometimes I should be able to smell the wood-pavement on the old boy's errands; perhaps he would insist on skimming over it in his bath-chair, with me behind.
I felt quite nervous when I reached the flats. They were a small pile in a side street, and I pitied the doctor whose plate I saw upon the palings before the ground-floor windows; he must be in a very small way, I thought. I rather pitied myself as well. I had indulged in visions of better flats than these. There were no balconies. The porter was out of livery. There was no lift, and my invalid21 on the third floor! I trudged22 up, wishing I had never lived in Mount Street, and brushed against a dejected individual coming down. A full-blooded young fellow in a frock-coat flung the right door open at my summons.
"Does Mr. Maturin live here?" I inquired.
"I—I've come about his advertisement in the Daily Mail."
"You're the thirty-ninth," cried the blood; "that was the thirty-eighth you met upon the stairs, and the day's still young. Excuse my staring at you. Yes, you pass your prelim., and can come inside; you're one of the few. We had most just after breakfast, but now the porter's heading off the worst cases, and that last chap was the first for twenty minutes. Come in here."
And I was ushered25 into an empty room with a good bay-window, which enabled my full-blooded friend to inspect me yet more critically in a good light; this he did without the least false delicacy26; then his questions began.
"'Varsity man?"
"No."
"Public school?"
"Yes."
"Which one?"
I told him, and he sighed relief.
"At last! You're the very first I've not had to argue with as to what is and what is not a public school. Expelled?"
"No," I said, after a moment's hesitation27; "no, I was not expelled. And I hope you won't expel me if I ask a question in my turn?"
"Certainly not."
"Are you Mr. Maturin's son?"
"No, my name's Theobald. You may have seen it down below."
"The doctor?" I said.
"His doctor," said Theobald, with a satisfied eye. "Mr. Maturin's doctor. He is having a male nurse and attendant by my advice, and he wants a gentleman if he can get one. I rather think he'll see you, though he's only seen two or three all day. There are certain questions which he prefers to ask himself, and it's no good going over the same ground twice. So perhaps I had better tell him about you before we get any further."
And he withdrew to a room still nearer the entrance, as I could hear, for it was a very small flat indeed. But now two doors were shut between us, and I had to rest content with murmurs28 through the wall until the doctor returned to summon me.
"I have persuaded my patient to see you," he whispered, "but I confess I am not sanguine29 of the result. He is very difficult to please. You must prepare yourself for a querulous invalid, and for no sinecure30 if you get the billet."
"May I ask what's the matter with him?"
"By all means—when you've got the billet."
Dr. Theobald then led the way, his professional dignity so thoroughly31 intact that I could not but smile as I followed his swinging coat-tails to the sick-room. I carried no smile across the threshold of a darkened chamber32 which reeked33 of drugs and twinkled with medicine bottles, and in the middle of which a gaunt figure lay abed in the half-light.
"Take him to the window, take him to the window," a thin voice snapped, "and let's have a look at him. Open the blind a bit. Not as much as that, damn you, not as much as that!"
The doctor took the oath as though it had been a fee. I no longer pitied him. It was now very clear to me that he had one patient who was a little practice in himself. I determined34 there and then that he should prove a little profession to me, if we could but keep him alive between us. Mr. Maturin, however, had the whitest face that I have ever seen, and his teeth gleamed out through the dusk as though the withered35 lips no longer met about them; nor did they except in speech; and anything ghastlier than the perpetual grin of his repose36 I defy you to imagine. It was with this grin that he lay regarding me while the doctor held the blind.
"So you think you could look after me, do you?"
"I'm certain I could, sir."
"Single-handed, mind! I don't keep another soul. You would have to cook your own grub and my slops. Do you think you could do all that?"
"Yes, sir, I think so."
"Why do you? Have you any experience of the kind?"
"No, sir, none."
"Then why do you pretend you have?"
"I only meant that I would do my best."
"Only meant, only meant! Have you done your best at everything else, then?"
I hung my head. This was a facer. And there was something in my invalid which thrust the unspoken lie down my throat.
"No, sir, I have not," I told him plainly.
"He, he, he!" the old wretch37 tittered; "and you do well to own it; you do well, sir, very well indeed. If you hadn't owned up, out you would have gone, out neck-and-crop! You've saved your bacon. You may do more. So you are a public-school boy, and a very good school yours is, but you weren't at either University. Is that correct?"
"Absolutely."
"What did you do when you left school?"
"I came in for money."
"And then?"
"I spent my money."
"And since then?"
"And since then, I say!"
"A relative of mine will tell you if you ask him. He is an eminent39 man, and he has promised to speak for me. I would rather say no more myself."
"But you shall, sir, but you shall! Do you suppose that I suppose a public-school boy would apply for a berth like this if something or other hadn't happened? What I want is a gentleman of sorts, and I don't much care what sort; but you've got to tell me what did happen, if you don't tell anybody else. Dr. Theobald, sir, you can go to the devil if you won't take a hint. This man may do or he may not. You have no more to say to it till I send him down to tell you one thing or the other. Clear out, sir, clear out; and if you think you've anything to complain of, you stick it down in the bill!"
In the mild excitement of our interview the thin voice had gathered strength, and the last shrill40 insult was screamed after the devoted41 medico, as he retired42 in such order that I felt certain he was going to take this trying patient at his word. The bedroom door closed, then the outer one, and the doctor's heels went drumming down the common stair. I was alone in the flat with this highly singular and rather terrible old man.
"And a damned good riddance!" croaked43 the invalid, raising himself on one elbow without delay. "I may not have much body left to boast about, but at least I've got a lost old soul to call my own. That's why I want a gentleman of sorts about me. I've been too dependent on that chap. He won't even let me smoke, and he's been in the flat all day to see I didn't. You'll find the cigarettes behind the Madonna of the Chair."
It was a steel engraving44 of the great Raffaelle, and the frame was tilted45 from the wall; at a touch a packet of cigarettes tumbled down from behind.
"Thanks; and now a light."
I struck the match and held it, while the invalid inhaled46 with normal lips; and suddenly I sighed. I was irresistibly47 reminded of my poor dear old Raffles48. A smoke-ring worthy49 of the great A. J. was floating upward from the sick man's lips.
"And now take one yourself. I have smoked more poisonous cigarettes. But even these are not Sullivans!"
I cannot repeat what I said. I have no idea what I did. I only know—I only knew—that it was A. J. Raffles in the flesh!
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1
attic
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| n.顶楼，屋顶室 | |
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2
transcribe
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| v.抄写，誉写；改编(乐曲)；复制，转录 | |
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3
kinsman
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| n.男亲属 | |
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qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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6
brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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7
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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8
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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9
literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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10
conclusive
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| adj.最后的，结论的；确凿的，消除怀疑的 | |
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11
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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12
nib
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| n.钢笔尖；尖头 | |
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13
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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14
loathsome
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| adj.讨厌的，令人厌恶的 | |
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15
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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16
antiquated
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| adj.陈旧的，过时的 | |
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17
corrupted
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| （使）败坏( corrupt的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）腐化； 引起（计算机文件等的）错误； 破坏 | |
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18
moth
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| n.蛾，蛀虫 | |
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19
civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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20
berth
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| n.卧铺，停泊地，锚位；v.使停泊 | |
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21
invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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22
trudged
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| vt.& vi.跋涉，吃力地走（trudge的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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23
convivial
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| adj.狂欢的，欢乐的 | |
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24
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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25
ushered
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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27
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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28
murmurs
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| n.低沉、连续而不清的声音( murmur的名词复数 )；低语声；怨言；嘀咕 | |
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29
sanguine
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| adj.充满希望的，乐观的，血红色的 | |
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30
sinecure
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| n.闲差事，挂名职务 | |
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31
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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32
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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33
reeked
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| v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的过去式和过去分词 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
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34
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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35
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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36
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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37
wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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38
mule
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| n.骡子，杂种，执拗的人 | |
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39
eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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40
shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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41
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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42
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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43
croaked
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| v.呱呱地叫( croak的过去式和过去分词 )；用粗的声音说 | |
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44
engraving
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| n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中） | |
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45
tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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46
inhaled
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| v.吸入( inhale的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
irresistibly
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| adv.无法抵抗地，不能自持地；极为诱惑人地 | |
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48
raffles
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| n.抽彩售物( raffle的名词复数 )v.以抽彩方式售（物）( raffle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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49
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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