Three torches were kept blazing through the night, and by their light the girl gave medicine and nourishment5 to the wounded one from time to time. She did not speak to Skag, who often sat before her for an interval2, but she would occasionally look into his face, her eyes dwelling6 with a curious calm upon him.
In the morning the wounded one was conscious. That day the suffering wore upon him, and they brought wet leaves as the sun rose higher and kept them changed beneath him, for coolness. . . . The fever left him after the heat of noon. Not until then, did Carlin look upon Skag and speak at the same time.
"Have I seen you before? . . . Who are you?"
When Skag heard himself answer, he realised his voice had something in it he had never known before.
. . . That afternoon Carlin went back to Hurda, but came again for an hour late in the afternoon. The next morning early, she came once more and Skag was there. That afternoon, the elder priest said:
"He will live."
"Yes," Carlin repeated softly.
"But you don't seem glad," Skag said.
She was looking back toward the city.
"I was wondering if I could make them see what it means to spend the afternoon in the jungle with a rifle."
"Couldn't they understand that this work of yours has delivered your cousin from death?"
"Oh, no, they would laugh at that. They would remind me that I have always been strange. Even if my cousin lost his life, they would not learn. The priests would be called fanatics7 and would be made to suffer and all the monkey-peoples—"
Skag could see that.
"Why do you not leave them?"
"Oh, I do not hate my people. I have many brothers, real men; and then you must know English Government does wonderful things."
They were starting back toward the city leaving the two priests. Most strangely, as no one Skag had ever met, Carlin could see the native and the English side of things. He felt that Cadman would say this of her, too. He wanted sanction on such things, because he felt that already his judgment8 was not cold—on matters that concerned her. Everything about her was more than one expected. She seemed to have an open consciousness, which saw two or all sides of a question before speech.
A great weakness had come upon Skag. It was in his limbs and in his voice and in his mind. It had not been so when the priests were near, nor when there was work to do. Now they were alone; the jungle was vast with a new vastness. The girl was taller and more powerful—her sayings veritable, equitable9. There were golden flashes among the rich shadows of her mind, like the cathedral dimness of the jungle on their right hand as they walked, slanting10 shafts11 of sunlight raining through.
They walked slowly. Skag reflected that since his first sight of the sambhur, he had watched and done nothing. All his life had been like that. Yet this girl watched and worked, too. She loved the English and the natives, too. She had skilled hands, a trained body, a cultured mind—certainly a wonderful mind, as full of wonder as this jungle, with a sacred river flowing through.
Moreover, she could ask questions like Cadman—the spirit of things. He told her of his mother, of his running away from school when he first saw the animals at Lincoln Park Zoo, how they enveloped12 him, so that he thought nothing but of them, lived only for animals later as a circus trainer, and had come to India to see the life of the wild creatures outside of cages. . . . His tongue fumbled13 in the telling.
"But I do not see yet, why the priests of Hanuman let you go with them—"
"Nor I," said Skag.
"But they know you are not an animal-killer—"
They walked rather slowly. . . . Night was upon them when they reached the edge of the jungle and heard voices. The back of Skag's hand nearest Carlin was swiftly touched and she whispered breathlessly:
"My people. They are coming for me—good-bye—-"
The last few words had been just for him; the tone might have come up from the centre of himself.
Skag was alone, but he did not hurry into the city. There was more in the solitude14 than ever before, more mystery in the jungle, more in the dusty scent15 of the open road. Greater than all, in spite of all doubting and realisation of insignificance16, there was unquestionably more in himself.
Early the next morning, Skag was abroad in the city and saw the two priests of Hanuman approach Ratna Ram17. They raised their hands in silent greeting as he came near and immediately arose and turned toward Carlin's bungalow19. Skag was glad to follow, when they signified he might, for the thing at hand was his own deep concern. There was a catch in his throat as Carlin appeared on the verandah. Her eyes met Skag's before she spoke20 to the priests.
"Is he worse?"
The elder spoke for both, as is the custom:
"Peace be on thee, thou of gentle voice and skillful hands. We greet thee in the name of Hanuman; and are come, to render up to thee the forfeit21 life, even according to our covenant22; for thou hast saved the wounded king, and he will not die. Behold23 the cloth with the shape of the foreigner's sign in it; this we held for a token that the foreigner's life was ours: this we render now to thee. His life is thine and not ours."
The old man laid the silk kerchief at Carlin's feet.
Skag had thought the danger over yesterday, but he saw that the young Englishman's life held in ransom24, had only just now been returned to the girl. . . . That forenoon was the time to Skag of the great tension. Carlin had stood for a moment longer than necessary on the verandah, after the priests had turned away. It was as if she would speak—but that might signify anything or nothing. It was just a point that made the hours more breathless now, like the sentence of quick low tones last night, when the voices of her people were heard at the edge of the jungle. Were these everything or nothing—glamour or life-lock? Often he remembered that her eyes had sought his to-day, even before looking to the priests for news.
He stood at the edge of the jungle at high noon. The city was filmed in heat. Faint sounds seemed to come out of the sky. Skag was watching one certain road. The trance of stillness was not broken. He turned back into the green shade. . . . He would not delay in Hurda. He would not linger. His friend Cadman had been gone for some days. Yet about going there was a new and intolerable pain.
Skag forced himself back from the clearing. He felt less than himself with his eyes fixed25 upon that certain road; a man always does when he wants something terribly. Still he did not enter the deep jungle. At last he heard a step. He turned very slowly, not at all like a man to whom the greatest thing of all has happened. . . . Carlin had come and was saying:
". . . I heard voices in the house this morning when you came. Someone was listening, so I could not speak. . . . Something keeps growing—something about our work in the jungle. I want to go to the monkey glen again—now."
It was like unimaginable riches. There were moments in which he had counterpart thoughts for hers in his own mind; as if she spoke from another lobe26 of his own brain. Her words expressed himself.
"I thought you would be here," she told him presently. "I wanted to see you again."
She was flushed from crossing the broad area tranced in noon heat; and now the green cool of the jungle was sweet to her, and they were close together, but walking not so slowly as last night. . . . Loneliness came to them when they reached the empty place where the wounded one had lain in the shelter of the rock. They felt strangely excluded from something that had belonged to them. All the wide branches above were empty. Still that was only one breath of chill. Tides of life brimmed high between them; they had vast mercies to spare for outer sorrows.
"He may not have done so well after being moved," she whispered.
Skag was thinking of the cough he had heard. The monkeys had understood that. . . . Just now the younger of the two priests of Hanuman appeared magically. There was quiet friendliness27 deep in his calm, desireless eyes.
"All is well," he told them. "They have carried their king to a yet more secret place, where we may not—"
He did not finish that sentence but added: "Only we who serve them may go there. All is well. They would not have moved him, had they not been sure that life was established in him."
The priest did not linger. Then Carlin wanted to know everything—how India had called Skag at the very first. . . . Was it all jungle and animal interest; or was he called a little to the holy men? Did he not yearn28 to help in the great famine and fever districts; long to enter the deep depravities of the lower cities with healing?
Skag had listened in a kind of passion. Wonderful unfoldment in regard to these things had come to him from Cadman Sahib, but as Carlin touched upon them, they loomed29 up in his mind like the slow approach to cities from a desert. Carlin's eyes, turned often to his, were like all the shadows of the jungle gathered to two points of essential dark, and pinned by a star veiled in its own light.
"I thought it was only the wild animals that called to me, but now I know better," he said. "And my friend Cadman, who has gone, opened so much to me. He often spoke of the holy men, until one had to be interested—"
Carlin halted and drew back looking at him with a kind of still strength all her own.
"You do not know that the natives think you are something of the kind?"
"I—a holy man?"
"I heard them speak of you last night. You see they have heard of your deliverance of the Grass Jungle people."
Skag was learning how wonderfully news travels in India.
"Of course, it was all easy to believe, after what I saw—"
"What did you see?" he asked.
"That the two priests of Hanuman permitted you to follow them here—"
Then Carlin verified what Cadman had said, that the priests make no mistakes in these things. . . . Presently Skag was listening to accounts of Carlin's life. He was insatiable to hear all. In some moments of the telling, it was like a phantom30 part of himself that he was questing for, through her words. Her story ran from the Vindhas to the Western Ghat mountains, touching31 plain and height and shore (but not yet High Himalaya), touching tree jungle, civil station, railway station and cantonments; stories including a succession of marvellous names of cities and men; intimations that many great servants of India and England were of her name; that she had seven living brothers, all older; all at work over India. Finally Skag heard that Carlin had spent eight years in England studying medicine and surgery, and again that the natives called her the Gul Moti, which means the Rose Pearl; or Hakima, which means physician. But her own name was Carlin!
When they came back to the edge of the jungle again, it was the hour of afterglow. Its colours entered into him and were always afterward32 identified with her. Carlin left him, laughingly, abruptly33; and Skag was so full of the wonder of all the world, that he had not thought to ask if he should ever see her again.
As night came on, Skag thought more and more of the parting; and that there had been no words about Carlin's coming again. He felt himself living breathlessly towards the thought of seeing her; and it was not long before this fervour itself awoke within him a counter resistance. Manifestly this pain and yearning34 and tension—was not the way to the full secret. As carefully stated before, Skag approved emphatically of the Now. The present moving point was the best he had at any given time. He thought a man should forget himself in the Now—like the animals.
Yet the hours tortured. That night had little sleep for him, and the marvels35 of Carlin—face and voice, laugh, heart, hand—grew upon him contrary to all precedent36. This was a battle against all the wild animals rolled into one; most terribly, a battle because there seemed such a beauty about the yearning which the girl awoke in him.
He was abroad early next day. The thought had come, that she might find him in the jungle at noon or soon afterward as yesterday. As the dragging forenoon wore on, Skag was in tightening37 tension. He hated himself for this, but the fact stubbornly remained that all he cared for in the world was the meeting again. It seemed greater than he—this agony of separation. It brought all fears and self-diminishing. It told him that Carlin would run from him, if she knew he wanted her presence so. He knew her kind of woman loves self-conquest—the man who can powerfully wait and not be victimised by his own emotions. . . .
So it was that Skag fled from himself, when there was still a half hour before noon. He could not meet her, longing38 like this.
There was sweat on Skag's forehead as his limbs quickened away from the place of meeting yesterday. The more he left it behind, the more sure he became that Carlin would come. It seemed he was casting away the one dear and holy thing he had ever known—yet it resolved to this: that he dared not stand before her with his heart beating as if he had run for miles and his chest suffocating39 with emotions—the very features of his face uncertain, his voice unreliable. . . . If a man entered the cage of a strange tiger, as little master of himself as this—it would be taking his life in his own silly hands. Skag couldn't get past this point, and he had a romantic adjustment in his mind about Carlin and the tiger—one all his own.
Deeper and deeper into the jungle he went, along the little river, but all paths appeared to lead him to the monkey glen; and there he sat down at last and remembered all that Alec Binz had told him about handling himself in relation to handling animals, and all that Cadman Sahib had told him from the lips of wise men of India . . . but all that Skag could find was pain—rising, thickening clouds of pain.
He kept seeing her continually as she entered the jungle (walking so silently and swift, her face flushed from crossing the open space this side of the city in the terrible heat of noon)—and then not finding him there. Something about this hurt like degrading a sacred thing, but he didn't mean to. He repeated that he didn't mean to hurt her. . . . Then suddenly it occurred to him that it was all his own thinking about her coming at noon. There had been no word about it. She might not have thought of coming again. This was like a cold breath through the jungle. It was as intolerable as the other thought of her disappointment.
. . . There was an almost indistinguishable slithering of soft pads in the branches. Skag looked up suddenly and the air seemed jerked with a concussion40 of his start. The monkeys were back. They had been watching, the branches filling. When he looked up, the whole company stirred nervously41.
Skag laughed. It was good. There was but one formulated42 thought—that Carlin would be glad to hear this; she would appreciate this. The return of the monkeys had a deep significance to Skag, because he had really first seen the wonder of Carlin just here—working over the wounded one. The immediate18 tree-lanes were filled with watchers in suffocating tension then. It was curiosity now—nothing covered, but playful. Skag wished he could chant like the priests, for the monkey-folk. He wished he had many baskets of chapattis to spread out upon the grasses for them. . . . As he sat, face-lifted, he heard that tiger-cough again.
The monkeys huddled43 a second—it was panic—then they melted from sight. It was like the swift blowing away one by one, of the top papers of a deep pile on a desk.
Skag was now essentially44 absorbed. It couldn't be a mistake. The monkeys knew. He himself knew from days and nights with the big cats. There was no cough just like that. It was in a different direction from before, back toward the city this time, but as before, muffled45 and close down to the riverbed. . . . Nothing of the cub46 left in that cough; neither was there hurry or hunger or any particular rage or fear. A big beast finishing a sleep, down in some sandy niche47 by the river; a solitary48 beast full of years, a bit drowsy49 just this moment, and in no particular hurry to take up the hunt. Such was the picture that came to Skag with a keen kind of enjoyment50. The thrill had lifted his misery51 for a minute. This was something to cope with. It took away the heart-breaking sense of inadequacy52.
It wasn't the thrill of a hunt that animated53 Skag. The fact is, he hadn't even a six-shooter along. This was the closeness of the real thing again—the deep joy, perhaps, of testing outside of cages once more, the power that had never failed. And just now along the river and beyond the place where the cough came from—Carlin was coming!
The last of the monkeys had flicked54 away. Skag arose and held his hand high, palm toward her. She beckoned55, but still came forward. Skag moved without haste, but rapidly. All the beauty and wonder of Carlin was the same; it lived in his heart, integrate and unparalleled as ever, but some power had come to him from the cough of the tiger. Around all the fear, even for her life, was the one splendid thing—that she had followed him into the monkey glen.
She was nearing the place where the cough had come from, yet Skag did not run. A second time he held up his hand, palm outward, but she still came forward laughing.
"You ran from me?"
"I did not think of you coming so far—to-day."
Skag had stepped between her and the river, turning her toward the city, but Carlin drew back.
"I have come so far. I want to go to our—to the monkey glen!"
She was watching him strangely. Skag understood something that moment: that he might know of Carlin's delight through her eyes, of all joy and good that he might bring, but that he should never know from her eyes if he brought hurt. Skag put this back into the deep place of his mind.
"All right. We'll go back," he said. "They were here—the whole troupe56. Just a minute ago, they swung away—"
He saw for an instant her wonderment that he had come alone. She would have been very glad to see the monkey people again; she could not quite see why she should have missed this; she did not understand his words—that he had not expected her to follow into the glen.
She was sitting down on her own log, but he stood. Skag was driven to speak. The need had now to do with one of his favourite words. It was a matter of equity57 that he speak. The words came in a slow ordered tone:
"I was waiting for you there—back at the edge of the jungle—but it came to me that I was not ready."
Carlin had been looking away into the three-lanes. Her eyes came up to his.
"Not ready?" she said.
"All night I could only remember one thing—"
"What thing?"
"That you had not told me you would come again."
Carlin's shoulders lifted a little. She cleared her throat, saying:
"I thought of it."
"This morning the idea occurred that you might come to the jungle at noon—like yesterday, but the hours wouldn't pass after that. I met something different that would not be quiet—"
"Where?"
"I mean in myself."
Carlin's eyes widened a little, but she only said:
"Oh!"
"It would not rest. I could not wait in calm. I was afraid you wouldn't come—yet I was afraid of your coming. My face worked of its own accord, and my words would not say what I knew—"
"When was that?"
"It was worse when I reached the jungle a little before noon and began to watch for you."
"And—you ran away?"
"I was not good to look upon."
"But you are not like that now—quite controlled—like blue ice—"
Skag turned his eyes slowly back the path by the river where the cough had come from.
"I am better now," he said.
"I wonder if anyone ever thought of running away like that?"
"It is not a good feeling to be at the mercy of oneself," Skag said.
Carlin caught a quick breath. There was a steadiness in his eyes. It was steadier than anything she knew. The light of it was so high and keen that it seemed still.
"Nothing like this has happened before," he said quietly.
Carlin arose. Their eyes met level.
"Everything is changed," he went on. "It was like a grief that you were not here—when the monkeys came in. . . . I'm not right. I did not know before that a girl was part of me. It was all animals before. I'm not ready—but I will be! You are good to listen, but really you had to—"
Carlin let her lids fall a second.
"I mean I couldn't stop when it started."
There was silence before he finished: "I know everything better. I know all the creatures better—all the cries they make. And yet I'm less—I'm only half—"
It was then her hand came out to him.
"Does it mean anything to you?" he asked.
"Yes—"
"Does it mean everything to you—too?"
Her voice trailed. It was closer. It was everywhere. It was like a voice coming up from his own heart:
"Yes, everything—especially because you could run away. . . . But
I—came!"
They were walking toward Hurda among the shadows, Skag closer to the river. . . . The night was coming with a richness they had never seen—tinted shadows of purple, orange and rose—almost a living gleam to the colours; the evening air cool and sweet.
Carlin told him that her family must understand and be considered and give approval. . . . There was an eldest58 brother in Poona who must be seen. . . . All arrangements must be made with him. Skag said he would go to Poona at once. . . .
They were lingering now at the edge of the jungle; its spices upon them in the dry air.
". . . And I will wait here in Hurda," Carlin was saying. "You may be gone many days. You may not find him at once, and you will have to wait at Poona, but I shall know when you come. The train coming up is before noon. Listen! You will not find me at the bungalow. No, that would not be the way for us. . . . This will be perfect. I will be waiting for you—our place—back in the monkey glen."
"It is the perfect thought, but you must not go back there alone," he said. "I had not meant to tell you now, but it was that—made me steady—a tiger back there. He gave me nerve for your coming—a good turn it was, the most needful turn! . . . Yes, a tiger lying down on the river margin59, as we talked—do not go in deeper, when I am away. . . . And on the day I come, meet me here at the edge of the jungle and we will go in there to our place—together."
点击收听单词发音
1 lull | |
v.使安静,使入睡,缓和,哄骗;n.暂停,间歇 | |
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2 interval | |
n.间隔,间距;幕间休息,中场休息 | |
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3 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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4 lairs | |
n.(野兽的)巢穴,窝( lair的名词复数 );(人的)藏身处 | |
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5 nourishment | |
n.食物,营养品;营养情况 | |
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6 dwelling | |
n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
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7 fanatics | |
狂热者,入迷者( fanatic的名词复数 ) | |
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8 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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9 equitable | |
adj.公平的;公正的 | |
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10 slanting | |
倾斜的,歪斜的 | |
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11 shafts | |
n.轴( shaft的名词复数 );(箭、高尔夫球棒等的)杆;通风井;一阵(疼痛、害怕等) | |
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12 enveloped | |
v.包围,笼罩,包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13 fumbled | |
(笨拙地)摸索或处理(某事物)( fumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 乱摸,笨拙地弄; 使落下 | |
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14 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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15 scent | |
n.气味,香味,香水,线索,嗅觉;v.嗅,发觉 | |
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16 insignificance | |
n.不重要;无价值;无意义 | |
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17 ram | |
(random access memory)随机存取存储器 | |
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18 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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19 bungalow | |
n.平房,周围有阳台的木造小平房 | |
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20 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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21 forfeit | |
vt.丧失;n.罚金,罚款,没收物 | |
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22 covenant | |
n.盟约,契约;v.订盟约 | |
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23 behold | |
v.看,注视,看到 | |
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24 ransom | |
n.赎金,赎身;v.赎回,解救 | |
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25 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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26 lobe | |
n.耳垂,(肺,肝等的)叶 | |
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27 friendliness | |
n.友谊,亲切,亲密 | |
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28 yearn | |
v.想念;怀念;渴望 | |
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29 loomed | |
v.隐约出现,阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 );隐约出现,阴森地逼近 | |
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30 phantom | |
n.幻影,虚位,幽灵;adj.错觉的,幻影的,幽灵的 | |
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31 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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32 afterward | |
adv.后来;以后 | |
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33 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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34 yearning | |
a.渴望的;向往的;怀念的 | |
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35 marvels | |
n.奇迹( marvel的名词复数 );令人惊奇的事物(或事例);不平凡的成果;成就v.惊奇,对…感到惊奇( marvel的第三人称单数 ) | |
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36 precedent | |
n.先例,前例;惯例;adj.在前的,在先的 | |
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37 tightening | |
上紧,固定,紧密 | |
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38 longing | |
n.(for)渴望 | |
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39 suffocating | |
a.使人窒息的 | |
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40 concussion | |
n.脑震荡;震动 | |
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41 nervously | |
adv.神情激动地,不安地 | |
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42 formulated | |
v.构想出( formulate的过去式和过去分词 );规划;确切地阐述;用公式表示 | |
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43 huddled | |
挤在一起(huddle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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44 essentially | |
adv.本质上,实质上,基本上 | |
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45 muffled | |
adj.(声音)被隔的;听不太清的;(衣服)裹严的;蒙住的v.压抑,捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 );用厚厚的衣帽包着(自己) | |
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46 cub | |
n.幼兽,年轻无经验的人 | |
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47 niche | |
n.壁龛;合适的职务(环境、位置等) | |
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48 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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49 drowsy | |
adj.昏昏欲睡的,令人发困的 | |
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50 enjoyment | |
n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
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51 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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52 inadequacy | |
n.无法胜任,信心不足 | |
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53 animated | |
adj.生气勃勃的,活跃的,愉快的 | |
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54 flicked | |
(尤指用手指或手快速地)轻击( flick的过去式和过去分词 ); (用…)轻挥; (快速地)按开关; 向…笑了一下(或瞥了一眼等) | |
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55 beckoned | |
v.(用头或手的动作)示意,召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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56 troupe | |
n.剧团,戏班;杂技团;马戏团 | |
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57 equity | |
n.公正,公平,(无固定利息的)股票 | |
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58 eldest | |
adj.最年长的,最年老的 | |
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59 margin | |
n.页边空白;差额;余地,余裕;边,边缘 | |
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