CHAPTER V. THE FIRST NUMBER OF “OUR MAGAZINE”

 The first number of Our Magazine was ready on New Year’s Day, and we read it that evening in the kitchen. All our staff had worked nobly and we were enormously proud of the result, although Dan still continued to scoff¹ at a paper that wasn’t printed. The Story Girl and I read it turnabout while the others, except Felix, ate apples. It opened with a short

 

EDITORIAL

 

With this number Our Magazine makes its first bow to the public. All the editors have done their best and the various departments are full of valuable information and amusement. The tastefully designed cover is by a famous artist, Mr. Blair Stanley, who sent it to us all the way from Europe at the request of his daughter. Mr. Peter Craig, our enterprising literary editor, contributes a touching² love story. (Peter, aside, in a gratified pig’s whisper: “I never was called ‘Mr.’ before.”) Miss Felicity King’s essays on Shakespeare is none the worse for being an old school composition, as it is new to most of our readers. Miss Cecily King contributes a thrilling article of adventure. The various departments are ably edited, and we feel that we have reason to be proud of Our Magazine. But we shall not rest on our oars³. “Excelsior” shall ever be our motto. We trust that each succeeding issue will be better than the one that went before. We are well aware of many defects, but it is easier to see them than to remedy them. Any suggestion that would tend to the improvement of Our Magazine will be thankfully received, but we trust that no criticism will be made that will hurt anyone’s feelings. Let us all work together in harmony, and strive to make Our Magazine an influence for good and a source of innocent pleasure, and let us always remember the words of the poet.

 

  “The heights by great men reached and kept

     Were not attained⁴ by sudden flight,

   But they, while their companions slept,

     Were toiling⁵ upwards⁶ in the night.”

 

(Peter, IMPRESSIVELY:—“I’ve read many a worse editorial in the Enterprise.”)

 

ESSAY ON SHAKESPEARE

 

Shakespeare’s full name was William Shakespeare. He did not always spell it the same way. He lived in the reign⁷ of Queen Elizabeth and wrote a great many plays. His plays are written in dialogue form. Some people think they were not written by Shakespeare but by another man of the same name. I have read some of them because our school teacher says everybody ought to read them, but I did not care much for them. There are some things in them I cannot understand. I like the stories of Valeria H. Montague in the Family Guide ever so much better. They are more exciting and truer to life. Romeo and Juliet was one of the plays I read. It was very sad. Juliet dies and I don’t like stories where people die. I like it better when they all get married especially to dukes and earls. Shakespeare himself was married to Anne Hatheway. They are both dead now. They have been dead a good while. He was a very famous man.

 

                                     FELICITY KING.

(PETER, MODESTLY: “I don’t know much about Shakespeare myself but I’ve got a book of his plays that belonged to my Aunt Jane, and I guess I’ll have to tackle him as soon as I finish with the Bible.”)

 

THE STORY OF AN ELOPEMENT FROM CHURCH

 

This is a true story. It happened in Markdale to an uncle of my mothers. He wanted to marry Miss Jemima Parr. Felicity says Jemima is not a romantic name for a heroin⁸ of a story but I cant⁹ help it in this case because it is a true story and her name realy was Jemima. My mothers uncle was named Thomas Taylor. He was poor at that time and so the father of Miss Jemima Parr did not want him for a soninlaw and told him he was not to come near the house or he would set the dog on him. Miss Jemima Parr was very pretty and my mothers uncle Thomas was just crazy about her and she wanted him too. She cried almost every night after her father forbid him to come to the house except the nights she had to sleep or she would have died. And she was so frightened he might try to come for all and get tore up by the dog and it was a bull-dog too that would never let go. But mothers uncle Thomas was too cute for that. He waited till one day there was preaching in the Markdale church in the middle of the week because it was sacrament time and Miss Jemima Parr and her family all went because her father was an elder. My mothers uncle Thomas went too and set in the pew just behind Miss Jemima Parrs family. When they all bowed their heads at prayer time Miss Jemima Parr didnt but set bolt uprite and my mothers uncle Thomas bent¹⁰ over and wispered in her ear. I dont know what he said so I cant right it but Miss Jemima Parr blushed that is turned red and nodded her head. Perhaps some people may think that my mothers uncle Thomas shouldent of wispered at prayer time in church but you must remember that Miss Jemima Parrs father had thretened to set the dog on him and that was hard lines when he was a respektable young man though not rich. Well when they were singing the last sam my mothers uncle Thomas got up and went out very quitely and as soon as church was out Miss Jemima Parr walked out too real quick. Her family never suspekted anything and they hung round talking to folks and shaking hands while Miss Jemima Parr and my mothers uncle Thomas were eloping outside. And what do you suppose they eloped in. Why in Miss Jemima Parrs fathers slay¹¹. And when he went out they were gone and his slay was gone also his horse. Of course my mothers uncle Thomas didnt steal the horse. He just borroed it and sent it home the next day. But before Miss Jemima Parrs father could get another rig to follow them they were so far away he couldent catch them before they got married. And they lived happy together forever afterwards. Mothers uncle Thomas lived to be a very old man. He died very suddent. He felt quite well when he went to sleep and when he woke up he was dead.

 

                                       PETER CRAIG.

MY MOST EXCITING ADVENTURE

 

The editor says we must all write up our most exciting adventure for Our Magazine. My most exciting adventure happened a year ago last November. I was nearly frightened to death. Dan says he wouldn’t of been scared and Felicity says she would of known what it was but it’s easy to talk.

 

It happened the night I went down to see Kitty Marr. I thought when I went that Aunt Olivia was visiting there and I could come home with her. But she wasn’t there and I had to come home alone. Kitty came a piece of the way but she wouldn’t come any further than Uncle James Frewen’s gate. She said it was because it was so windy she was afraid she would get the tooth-ache and not because she was frightened of the ghost of the dog that haunted the bridge in Uncle James’ hollow. I did wish she hadn’t said anything about the dog because I mightn’t of thought about it if she hadn’t. I had to go on alone thinking of it. I’d heard the story often but I’d never believed in it. They said the dog used to appear at one end of the bridge and walk across it with people and vanish when he got to the other end. He never tried to bite anyone but one wouldn’t want to meet the ghost of a dog even if one didn’t believe in him. I knew there was no such thing as ghosts and I kept saying a paraphrase¹² over to myself and the Golden Text of the next Sunday School lesson but oh, how my heart beat when I got near the hollow! It was so dark. You could just see things dim-like but you couldn’t see what they were. When I got to the bridge I walked along sideways with my back to the railing so I couldn’t think the dog was behind me. And then just in the middle of the bridge I met something. It was right before me and it was big and black, just about the size of a Newfoundland dog, and I thought I could see a white nose. And it kept jumping about from one side of the bridge to the other. Oh, I hope none of my readers will ever be so frightened as I was then. I was too frightened to run back because I was afraid it would chase me and I couldn’t get past it, it moved so quick, and then it just made one spring right on me and I felt its claws and I screamed and fell down. It rolled off to one side and laid there quite quiet but I didn’t dare move and I don’t know what would have become of me if Amos Cowan hadn’t come along that very minute with a lantern. And there was me sitting in the middle of the bridge and that awful thing beside me. And what do you think it was but a big umbrella with a white handle? Amos said it was his umbrella and it had blown away from him and he had to go back and get the lantern to look for it. I felt like asking him what on earth he was going about with an umbrella open when it wasent raining. But the Cowans do such queer things. You remember the time Jerry Cowan sold us God’s picture. Amos took me right home and I was thankful for I don’t know what would have become of me if he hadn’t come along. I couldn’t sleep all night and I never want to have any more adventures like that one.

 

                                      CECILY KING.

PERSONALS

 

Mr. Dan King felt somewhat indisposed the day after Christmas—probably as the result of too much mince¹³ pie. (DAN, INDIGNANTLY:—“I wasn’t. I only et one piece!”)

 

Mr. Peter Craig thinks he saw the Family Ghost on Christmas Eve. But the rest of us think all he saw was the white calf¹⁴ with the red tail. (PETER, MUTTERING SULKILY:—“It’s a queer calf that would walk up on end and wring¹⁵ its hands.”)

 

Miss Cecily King spent the night of Dec. 20th with Miss Kitty Marr. They talked most of the night about new knitted lace patterns and their beaus and were very sleepy in school next day. (CECILY, SHARPLY:—“We never mentioned such things!”)

 

Patrick Grayfur, Esq., was indisposed yesterday, but seems to be enjoying his usual health to-day.

 

The King family expect their Aunt Eliza to visit them in January. She is really our great-aunt. We have never seen her but we are told she is very deaf and does not like children. So Aunt Janet says we must make ourselves scarece when she comes.

 

Miss Cecily King has undertaken to fill with names a square of the missionary¹⁶ quilt which the Mission Band is making. You pay five cents to have your name embroidered¹⁷ in a corner, ten cents to have it in the centre, and a quarter if you want it left off altogether. (CECILY, INDIGNANTLY:—“That isn’t the way at all.”)

 

ADS.

 

WANTED—A remedy to make a fat boy thin. Address, “Patient Sufferer, care of Our Magazine.”

 

(FELIX, SOURLY:—“Sara Ray never got that up. I’ll bet it was Dan. He’d better stick to his own department.”)

 

HOUSEHOLD DEPARTMENT

 

Mrs. Alexander King killed all her geese the twentieth of December. We all helped pick them. We had one Christmas Day and will have one every fortnight the rest of the winter.

 

The bread was sour last week because mother wouldn’t take my advice. I told her it was too warm for it in the corner behind the stove.

 

Miss Felicity King invented a new recete for date cookies recently, which everybody said were excelent. I am not going to publish it though, because I don’t want other people to find it out.

 

ANXIOUS INQUIRER:—If you want to remove inkstains place the stain over steam and apply salt and lemon juice. If it was Dan who sent this question in I’d advise him to stop wiping his pen on his shirt sleeves and then he wouldn’t have so many stains.

 

                                     FELICITY KING.

ETIQUETTE¹⁸ DEPARTMENT

 

F-l-x:—Yes, you should offer your arm to a lady when seeing her home, but don’t keep her standing¹⁹ too long at the gate while you say good night.

 

(FELIX, ENRAGED:—“I never asked such a question.”)

 

C-c-l-y:—No, it is not polite to use “Holy Moses” or “dodgasted” in ordinary conversation.

 

(Cecily had gone down cellar to replenish²⁰ the apple plate, so this passed without protest.)

 

S-r-a:—No, it isn’t polite to cry all the time. As to whether you should ask a young man in, it all depends on whether he went home with you of his own accord or was sent by some elderly relative.

 

F-l-t-y:—It does not break any rule of etiquette if you keep a button off your best young man’s coat for a keepsake. But don’t take more than one or his mother might miss them.

 

                                          DAN KING.

FASHION NOTES

 

Knitted mufflers are much more stylish²¹ than crocheted²² ones this winter. It is nice to have one the same colour as your cap.

 

Red mittens²³ with a black diamond pattern on the back are much run after. Em Frewen’s grandma knits hers for her. She can knit the double diamond pattern and Em puts on such airs about it, but I think the single diamond is in better taste.

 

The new winter hats at Markdale are very pretty. It is so exciting to pick a hat. Boys can’t have that fun. Their hats are so much alike.

 

                                       CECILY KING.

FUNNY PARAGRAPHS

 

This is a true joke and really happened.

 

There was an old local preacher in New Brunswick one time whose name was Samuel Clask. He used to preach and pray and visit the sick just like a regular minister. One day he was visiting a neighbour who was dying and he prayed the Lord to have mercy on him because he was very poor and had worked so hard all his life that he hadn’t much time to attend to religion.

 

“And if you don’t believe me, O Lord,” Mr. Clask finished up with, “just take a look at his hands.”

 

                                        FELIX KING.

GENERAL INFORMATION BUREAU

 

DAN:—Do porpoises²⁴ grow on trees or vines?

 

Ans. Neither. They inhabit the deep sea.

 

                                        FELIX KING.

(DAN, AGGRIEVED:—“Well, I’d never heard of porpoises and it sounded like something that grew. But you needn’t have gone and put it in the paper.”

 

FELIX:—“It isn’t any worse than the things you put in about me that I never asked at all.”

 

CECILY, SOOTHINGLY:—“Oh, well, boys, it’s all in fun, and I think Our Magazine is perfectly²⁵ elegant.”

 

FELICITY, FAILING TO SEE THE STORY GIRL AND BEVERLEY EXCHANGING WINKS²⁶ BEHIND HER BACK:—“It certainly is, though SOME PEOPLE were so opposed to starting it.”)

 

What harmless, happy fooling it all was! How we laughed as we read and listened and devoured²⁷ apples! Blow high, blow low, no wind can ever quench²⁸ the ruddy glow of that faraway winter night in our memories. And though Our Magazine never made much of a stir in the world, or was the means of hatching any genius, it continued to be capital fun for us throughout the year.

1 scoff   

n.嘲笑，笑柄，愚弄；v.嘲笑，嘲弄，愚弄，狼吞虎咽

参考例句：

• You are not supposed to scoff at religion.你不该嘲弄宗教。
• He was the scoff of the town.他成为全城的笑柄。

2 touching   

adj.动人的，使人感伤的

参考例句：

• It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。
• His letter was touching.他的信很感人。

3 oars   

n.桨，橹( oar的名词复数 )；划手v.划（行）( oar的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• He pulled as hard as he could on the oars. 他拼命地划桨。
• The sailors are bending to the oars. 水手们在拼命地划桨。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 attained   

（通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况）

参考例句：

• She has attained the degree of Master of Arts. 她已获得文学硕士学位。
• Lu Hsun attained a high position in the republic of letters. 鲁迅在文坛上获得崇高的地位。

5 toiling   

长时间或辛苦地工作( toil的现在分词 )； 艰难缓慢地移动，跋涉

参考例句：

• The fiery orator contrasted the idle rich with the toiling working classes. 这位激昂的演说家把无所事事的富人同终日辛劳的工人阶级进行了对比。
• She felt like a beetle toiling in the dust. She was filled with repulsion. 她觉得自己像只甲虫在地里挣扎，心中涌满愤恨。

6 upwards   

adv.向上，在更高处...以上

参考例句：

• The trend of prices is still upwards.物价的趋向是仍在上涨。
• The smoke rose straight upwards.烟一直向上升。

7 reign   

n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势

参考例句：

• The reign of Queen Elizabeth lapped over into the seventeenth century.伊丽莎白王朝延至17世纪。
• The reign of Zhu Yuanzhang lasted about 31 years.朱元璋统治了大约三十一年。

8 heroin   

n.海洛因

参考例句：

• Customs have made their biggest ever seizure of heroin.海关查获了有史以来最大的一批海洛因。
• Heroin has been smuggled out by sea.海洛因已从海上偷运出境。

9 cant   

n.斜穿，黑话，猛扔

参考例句：

• The ship took on a dangerous cant to port.船只出现向左舷危险倾斜。
• He knows thieves'cant.他懂盗贼的黑话。

10 bent   

n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的

参考例句：

• He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
• We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。

11 slay   

v.杀死，宰杀，杀戮

参考例句：

• He intended to slay his father's murderer.他意图杀死杀父仇人。
• She has ordered me to slay you.她命令我把你杀了。

12 paraphrase   

vt.将…释义，改写；n.释义，意义

参考例句：

• You may read the prose paraphrase of this poem.你可以看一下这首诗的散文释义。
• Paraphrase the following sentences or parts of sentences using your own words.用你自己的话解释下面的句子或句子的一部分。

13 mince   

n.切碎物；v.切碎，矫揉做作地说

参考例句：

• Would you like me to mince the meat for you?你要我替你把肉切碎吗？
• Don't mince matters,but speak plainly.不要含糊其词，有话就直说吧。

14 calf   

n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮

参考例句：

• The cow slinked its calf.那头母牛早产了一头小牛犊。
• The calf blared for its mother.牛犊哞哞地高声叫喊找妈妈。

15 wring   

n.扭绞；v.拧，绞出，扭

参考例句：

• My socks were so wet that I had to wring them.我的袜子很湿，我不得不拧干它们。
• I'll wring your neck if you don't behave!你要是不规矩，我就拧断你的脖子。

16 missionary   

adj.教会的，传教(士)的；n.传教士

参考例句：

• She taught in a missionary school for a couple of years.她在一所教会学校教了两年书。
• I hope every member understands the value of missionary work. 我希望教友都了解传教工作的价值。

17 embroidered   

adj．绣花的

参考例句：

• She embroidered flowers on the cushion covers. 她在这些靠垫套上绣了花。
• She embroidered flowers on the front of the dress. 她在连衣裙的正面绣花。

18 etiquette   

n.礼仪，礼节；规矩

参考例句：

• The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
• According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。

19 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

20 replenish   

vt.补充；(把…)装满；(再)填满

参考例句：

• I always replenish my food supply before it is depleted.我总是在我的食物吃完之前加以补充。
• We have to import an extra 4 million tons of wheat to replenish our reserves.我们不得不额外进口四百万吨小麦以补充我们的储备。

21 stylish   

adj.流行的，时髦的；漂亮的，气派的

参考例句：

• He's a stylish dresser.他是个穿着很有格调的人。
• What stylish women are wearing in Paris will be worn by women all over the world.巴黎女性时装往往会引导世界时装潮流。

22 crocheted   

v.用钩针编织( crochet的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Mom and I crocheted new quilts. 我和妈妈钩织了新床罩。 来自辞典例句
• Aunt Paula crocheted a beautiful blanket for the baby. 宝拉婶婶为婴孩编织了一条美丽的毯子。 来自互联网

23 mittens   

不分指手套

参考例句：

• Cotton mittens will prevent the baby from scratching his own face. 棉的连指手套使婴儿不会抓伤自己的脸。
• I'd fisted my hands inside their mittens to keep the fingers warm. 我在手套中握拳头来保暖手指。

24 porpoises   

n.鼠海豚( porpoise的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• A shoal of porpoises are well on the feed. 一群海豚正在吞食。 来自辞典例句
• In 1928 some porpoises were photographed working like beavers to push ashore a waterlogged mattress. 1928年有人把这些海豚象海狸那样把一床浸泡了水的褥垫推上岸时的情景拍摄了下来。 来自辞典例句

25 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

26 winks   

v.使眼色( wink的第三人称单数 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮

参考例句：

• I'll feel much better when I've had forty winks. 我打个盹就会感到好得多。
• The planes were little silver winks way out to the west. 飞机在西边老远的地方，看上去只是些很小的银色光点。 来自辞典例句

27 devoured   

吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光

参考例句：

• She devoured everything she could lay her hands on: books, magazines and newspapers. 无论是书、杂志，还是报纸，只要能弄得到，她都看得津津有味。
• The lions devoured a zebra in a short time. 狮子一会儿就吃掉了一匹斑马。

28 quench   

vt.熄灭，扑灭；压制

参考例句：

• The firemen were unable to quench the fire.消防人员无法扑灭这场大火。
• Having a bottle of soft drink is not enough to quench my thirst.喝一瓶汽水不够解渴。