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CHAPTER XXXI. THE LAST NUMBER OF OUR MAGAZINE
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 EDITORIAL
 
It is with heartfelt regret that we take up our pen to announce that this will be the last number of Our Magazine. We have edited ten numbers of it and it has been successful beyond our expectations. It has to be discontinued by reason of circumstances over which we have no control and not because we have lost interest in it. Everybody has done his or her best for Our Magazine. Prince Edward Island expected everyone to do his and her duty and everyone did it.
 
Mr. Dan King conducted the etiquette1 department in a way worthy2 of the Family Guide itself. He is especially entitled to commendation because he laboured under the disadvantage of having to furnish most of the questions as well as the answers. Miss Felicity King has edited our helpful household department very ably, and Miss Cecily King’s fashion notes were always up to date. The personal column was well looked after by Miss Sara Stanley and the story page has been a marked success under the able management of Mr. Peter Craig, to whose original story in this issue, “The Battle of the Partridge Eggs,” we would call especial attention. The Exciting Adventure series has also been very popular.
 
And now, in closing, we bid farewell to our staff and thank them one and all for their help and co-operation in the past year. We have enjoyed our work and we trust that they have too. We wish them all happiness and success in years to come, and we hope that the recollection of Our Magazine will not be held least dear among the memories of their childhood.
 
(SOBS FROM THE GIRLS): “INDEED IT WON’T!” OBITUARY3
 
On October eighteenth, Patrick Grayfur departed for that bourne whence no traveller returns. He was only a cat, but he had been our faithful friend for a long time and we aren’t ashamed to be sorry for him. There are lots of people who are not as friendly and gentlemanly as Paddy was, and he was a great mouser. We buried all that was mortal of poor Pat in the orchard4 and we are never going to forget him. We have resolved that whenever the date of his death comes round we’ll bow our heads and pronounce his name at the hour of his funeral. If we are anywhere where we can’t say the name out loud we’ll whisper it.
 
“Farewell, dearest Paddy, in all the years that are to be We’ll cherish your memory faithfully."1
 
MY MOST EXCITING ADVENTURE
 
My most exciting adventure was the day I fell off Uncle Roger’s loft5 two years ago. I wasn’t excited until it was all over because I hadn’t time to be. The Story Girl and I were looking for eggs in the loft. It was filled with wheat straw nearly to the roof and it was an awful distance from us to the floor. And wheat straw is so slippery. I made a little spring and the straw slipped from under my feet and there I was going head first down from the loft. It seemed to me I was an awful long time falling, but the Story Girl says I couldn’t have been more than three seconds. But I know that I thought five thoughts and there seemed to be quite a long time between them. The first thing I thought was, what has happened, because I really didn’t know at first, it was so sudden. Then after a spell I thought the answer, I am falling off the loft. And then I thought, what will happen to me when I strike the floor, and after another little spell I thought, I’ll be killed. And then I thought, well, I don’t care. I really wasn’t a bit frightened. I just was quite willing to be killed. If there hadn’t been a big pile of chaff6 on the barn floor these words would never have been written. But there was and I fell on it and wasn’t a bit hurt, only my hair and mouth and eyes and ears got all full of chaff. The strange part is that I wasn’t a bit frightened when I thought I was going to be killed, but after all the danger was over I was awfully7 frightened and trembled so the Story Girl had to help me into the house.
 
                                     FELICITY KING.
THE BATTLE OF THE PARTRIDGE EGGS
 
Once upon a time there lived about half a mile from a forrest a farmer and his wife and his sons and daughters and a granddaughter. The farmer and his wife loved this little girl very much but she caused them great trouble by running away into the woods and they often spent haf days looking for her. One day she wondered further into the forrest than usual and she begun to be hungry. Then night closed in. She asked a fox where she could get something to eat. The fox told her he knew where there was a partridges nest and a bluejays nest full of eggs. So he led her to the nests and she took five eggs out of each. When the birds came home they missed the eggs and flew into a rage. The bluejay put on his topcoat and was going to the partridge for law when he met the partridge coming to him. They lit up a fire and commenced sining their deeds when they heard a tremendous howl close behind them. They jumped up and put out the fire and were immejutly attacked by five great wolves. The next day the little girl was rambelling through the woods when they saw her and took her prisoner. After she had confessed that she had stole the eggs they told her to raise an army. They would have to fight over the nests of eggs and whoever one would have the eggs. So the partridge raised a great army of all kinds of birds except robins8 and the little girl got all the robins and foxes and bees and wasps9. And best of all the little girl had a gun and plenty of ammunishun. The leader of her army was a wolf. The result of the battle was that all the birds were killed except the partridge and the bluejay and they were taken prisoner and starved to death.
 
The little girl was then taken prisoner by a witch and cast into a dunjun full of snakes where she died from their bites and people who went through the forrest after that were taken prisoner by her ghost and cast into the same dunjun where they died. About a year after the wood turned into a gold castle and one morning everything had vanished except a piece of a tree.
 
                                       PETER CRAIG.
(DAN, WITH A WHISTLE:—“Well, I guess nobody can say Peter can’t write fiction after THAT.”
 
SARA RAY, WIPING AWAY HER TEARS:—“It’s a very interesting story, but it ends SO sadly.”
 
FELIX:—“What made you call it The Battle of the Partridge Eggs when the bluejay had just as much to do with it?”
 
PETER, SHORTLY:—“Because it sounded better that way.”
 
FELICITY:—“Did she eat the eggs raw?”
 
SARA RAY:—“Poor little thing, I suppose if you’re starving you can’t be very particular.”
 
CECILY, SIGHING:—“I wish you’d let her go home safe, Peter, and not put her to such a cruel death.”
 
BEVERLEY:—“I don’t quite understand where the little girl got her gun and ammunition10.”
 
PETER, SUSPECTING THAT HE IS BEING MADE FUN OF:—“If you could write a better story, why didn’t you? I give you the chance.”
 
THE STORY GIRL, WITH A PRETERNATURALLY SOLEMN FACE:—“You shouldn’t criticize Peter’s story like that. It’s a fairy tale, you know, and anything can happen in a fairy tale.”
 
FELICITY:—“There isn’t a word about fairies in it!”
 
CECILY:—“Besides, fairy tales always end nicely and this doesn’t.”
 
PETER, SULKILY:—“I wanted to punish her for running away from home.”
 
DAN:—“Well, I guess you did it all right.”
 
CECILY:—“Oh, well, it was very interesting, and that is all that is really necessary in a story.” )
 
PERSONALS
 
Mr. Blair Stanley is visiting friends and relatives in Carlisle. He intends returning to Europe shortly. His daughter, Miss Sara, will accompany him.
 
Mr. Alan King is expected home from South America next month. His sons will return with him to Toronto. Beverley and Felix have made hosts of friends during their stay in Carlisle and will be much missed in social circles.
 
The Mission Band of Carlisle Presbyterian Church completed their missionary11 quilt last week. Miss Cecily King collected the largest sum on her square. Congratulations, Cecily.
 
Mr. Peter Craig will be residing in Markdale after October and will attend school there this winter. Peter is a good fellow and we all wish him success and prosperity.
 
Apple picking is almost ended. There was an unusually heavy crop this year. Potatoes, not so good.
 
HOUSEHOLD DEPARTMENT
 
Apple pies are the order of the day.
 
Eggs are a very good price now. Uncle Roger says it isn’t fair to have to pay as much for a dozen little eggs as a dozen big ones, but they go just as far.
 
                                     FELICITY KING.
ETIQUETTE DEPARTMENT
 
F-l-t-y. Is it considered good form to eat peppermints12 in church? Ans.; No, not if a witch gives them to you.
 
No, F-l-x, we would not call Treasure Island or the Pilgrim’s Progress dime13 novels.
 
Yes, P-t-r, when you call on a young lady and her mother offers you a slice of bread and jam it is quite polite for you to accept it.
 
                                          DAN KING.
FASHION NOTES
 
Necklaces of roseberries are very much worn now.
 
It is considered smart to wear your school hat tilted14 over your left eye.
 
Bangs are coming in. Em Frewen has them. She went to Summerside for a visit and came back with them. All the girls in school are going to bang their hair as soon as their mothers will let them. But I do not intend to bang mine.
 
                                       CECILY KING.
(SARA RAY, DESPAIRINGLY:—“I know ma will never let ME have bangs.”)
 
FUNNY PARAGRAPHS
 
D-n. What are details? C-l-y. I am not sure, but I think they are things that are left over.
 
(CECILY, WONDERINGLY:—“I don’t see why that was put among the funny paragraphs. Shouldn’t it have gone in the General Information department?”)
 
Old Mr. McIntyre’s son on the Markdale Road had been very sick for several years and somebody was sympathizing with him because his son was going to die. “Oh,” Mr. McIntyre said, quite easy, “he might as weel be awa’. He’s only retarding15 buzziness.”
 
                                        FELIX KING.
GENERAL INFORMATION BUREAU
 
P-t-r. What kind of people live in uninhabited places?
 
Ans.: Cannibals, likely.
 
                                        FELIX KING.
 
1 (return)
[ The obituary was written by Mr. Felix King, but the two lines of poetry were composed by Miss Sara Ray.]

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 etiquette Xiyz0     
n.礼仪,礼节;规矩
参考例句:
  • The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
  • According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。
2 worthy vftwB     
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的
参考例句:
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。
3 obituary mvvy9     
n.讣告,死亡公告;adj.死亡的
参考例句:
  • The obituary records the whole life of the deceased.讣文记述了这位死者的生平。
  • Five days after the letter came,he found Andersen s obituary in the morning paper.收到那封信五天后,他在早报上发现了安德森的讣告。
4 orchard UJzxu     
n.果园,果园里的全部果树,(美俚)棒球场
参考例句:
  • My orchard is bearing well this year.今年我的果园果实累累。
  • Each bamboo house was surrounded by a thriving orchard.每座竹楼周围都是茂密的果园。
5 loft VkhyQ     
n.阁楼,顶楼
参考例句:
  • We could see up into the loft from bottom of the stairs.我们能从楼梯脚边望到阁楼的内部。
  • By converting the loft,they were able to have two extra bedrooms.把阁楼改造一下,他们就可以多出两间卧室。
6 chaff HUGy5     
v.取笑,嘲笑;n.谷壳
参考例句:
  • I didn't mind their chaff.我不在乎他们的玩笑。
  • Old birds are not caught with chaff.谷糠难诱老雀。
7 awfully MPkym     
adv.可怕地,非常地,极端地
参考例句:
  • Agriculture was awfully neglected in the past.过去农业遭到严重忽视。
  • I've been feeling awfully bad about it.对这我一直感到很难受。
8 robins 130dcdad98696481aaaba420517c6e3e     
n.知更鸟,鸫( robin的名词复数 );(签名者不分先后,以避免受责的)圆形签名抗议书(或请愿书)
参考例句:
  • The robins occupied their former nest. 那些知更鸟占了它们的老窝。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Benjamin Robins then entered the fray with articles and a book. 而后,Benjamin Robins以他的几篇专论和一本书参加争论。 来自辞典例句
9 wasps fb5b4ba79c574cee74f48a72a48c03ef     
黄蜂( wasp的名词复数 ); 胡蜂; 易动怒的人; 刻毒的人
参考例句:
  • There's a wasps' nest in that old tree. 那棵老树上有一个黄蜂巢。
  • We live in dread not only of unpleasant insects like spiders or wasps, but of quite harmless ones like moths. 我们不仅生活在对象蜘蛛或黄蜂这样的小虫的惧怕中,而且生活在对诸如飞蛾这样无害昆虫的惧怕中
10 ammunition GwVzz     
n.军火,弹药
参考例句:
  • A few of the jeeps had run out of ammunition.几辆吉普车上的弹药已经用光了。
  • They have expended all their ammunition.他们把弹药用光。
11 missionary ID8xX     
adj.教会的,传教(士)的;n.传教士
参考例句:
  • She taught in a missionary school for a couple of years.她在一所教会学校教了两年书。
  • I hope every member understands the value of missionary work. 我希望教友都了解传教工作的价值。
12 peppermints 0861208365c44aa8cacf6bdeab27fccd     
n.薄荷( peppermint的名词复数 );薄荷糖
参考例句:
  • She just curls up and sucks peppermints. 她老是蜷着腿躺着,吮着薄荷糖。 来自辞典例句
  • Enough, already with this mellow incense and peppermints vibe. 够了,我受够这些薰香以及薄荷的感觉了。 来自电影对白
13 dime SuQxv     
n.(指美国、加拿大的钱币)一角
参考例句:
  • A dime is a tenth of a dollar.一角银币是十分之一美元。
  • The liberty torch is on the back of the dime.自由火炬在一角硬币的反面。
14 tilted 3gtzE5     
v. 倾斜的
参考例句:
  • Suddenly the boat tilted to one side. 小船突然倾向一侧。
  • She tilted her chin at him defiantly. 她向他翘起下巴表示挑衅。
15 retarding 1f9687f1b74d57e7279708aeba37f7f6     
使减速( retard的现在分词 ); 妨碍; 阻止; 推迟
参考例句:
  • There may be a need for retarding growth chemically to keep trees within bounds. 可能需要用化学剂抑制生长,使树冠保持在一定的范围内。
  • In some instances, an aversion to debt is retarding growth. 在某些情况下,对债务的反感正阻碍经济增长。


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