Joyce was clever at dress-making: she was clever at all things that needed deftness2 of fingers. She had fitted me with my frock, and we had both worked together. But now the dresses were finished, the last ruffle3 had been tacked4 in; there was nothing more to do, and the day wore away very slowly till evening.
At last the hour came when it was time to dress, and such a washing of faces and brushing of hair as went on in that little attic5 chamber6 for half an hour no one would believe.
Joyce insisted on "finishing" me first. She coiled up my hair at the back of my head, brushing it as neatly7 as she could, and laying it in two thick bands on either side of my temples. It never will look very neat, it is such vigorous unruly hair, this red hair of mine, and to this day always has tendrils escaping here and there over forehead and neck. But she did her best for it, and I was pleased with myself. I was still more pleased with myself when I got on the green shot silk with the lace ruffles8. Joyce said she was surprised to see what a change it made in me. So was I.
My skin was very pink and white wherever it was not spoiled by freckles10, and the green of the frock seemed to show it up and make the red lips look redder than ever. It is true that my neck and arms were frail11 still with the frailness12 of youth, but then my figure was slim too, and my eyes were black with excitement, and shone till they were twice their usual size. I thought, as I looked in the glass, that I was not so very plain. Yes, I was right when I had begged the shot silk. Joyce could wear anything, but I, who was no "fine bird" by nature, needed the "fine feathers."
I was pleased with myself, and I smiled with satisfaction when Joyce declared again that she was quite surprised to see what a good appearance I had. "If you would only keep yourself tidy, Margaret, you have no idea how much better you would look," said she.
It was what Deborah was always saying, but I did not resent it from Joyce—she was gentle in her way of saying it; and I remember that I promised I would brush my hair smooth in future, and wear my collars more daintily. I do not believe that I kept to my resolution, but that evening I was not at all the Margaret of every-day life as I surveyed myself in the glass.
"But come," said I, hurriedly—half ashamed of myself, I do believe—"we shall be late if we don't make haste. Do get on, Joyce."
Joyce began brushing out her long golden hair—real gold hair, not faint flaxen—and coiled the smooth, shining bands of it round her little head. It was a little head, such as I have seen in the pictures of the Virgins13 painted by Italian painters of long ago.
"I sha'n't be long," said she.
I sat down and watched her. She would not have let me help her if I had wanted to do so. She would have said that I should only disarrange myself, and that I should be of no use. Certainly nothing was wanted but what she did for herself, and she did it quickly enough. When she stood up before the mirror—tipped back to show the most of her person, for we had no pier-glasses at the Grange—I do not believe that any one could have found a thing to improve in her. Her figure looked taller and slenderer than ever in the long white dress, and the soft little folds of the muslin clung tenderly around her delicate shape, just leaving bare her neck and arms, that were firm and white as alabaster14. Her face was flushed as a May rose; her lips were parted in her anxiety to hasten, and showed the little even white teeth within. Her blue eyes were clear and soft under the black lashes15.
She moved before the glass to see that her dress was not too long, and bent16 back her slender throat, upon which she had just clasped mother's delicate little old-fashioned gold necklace with the drops of yellow beryl-stone. It was the only bit of good jewellery in the family, and Joyce always wore it, it became her so well.
"Come now, Meg," said she, "I am quite ready. Let's go and see if we can do anything to help mother."
We went down-stairs. Deborah was there in mother's room waiting to survey us all. She had just fastened mother's dove-colored satin gown that had served her for every party she had been at since she was married. Mother had just the same shaped cap on that she always wore; she never would alter it for any fashion, but that night the frill of it was made of beautiful old lace that she kept in blue paper and lavender all the rest of the year. I thought she looked splendid, but Joyce was not so easily pleased.
"Dear mother, you really must have another gown before you go anywhere again," said she, shaking out the skirt with a dissatisfied air. "This satin has lost all its stiffness."
Mother looked at it a little anxiously herself, I remember, when Joyce said this. We considered Joyce a judge of dress and the fashions, and of course the squire17's ball was a great occasion. But she said she thought it did very well for an old lady, and indeed so did I, although that may perhaps have been because I was very anxious to be off.
Dear mother! I do not think she gave much thought to herself; she was taken up with pride in us. Yes, I do believe that night she was proud even of me.
She smiled when Deborah, with her hand on the door-knob, said, patronizingly, that although she did not hold with bare arms and necks for modest females, she never would have thought that I should have "dressed up" so well. Mother bade her begone, but I think she was pleased.
"Dear me!" said she, looking at me. "I recollect18 buying that silk. It must have been in '52, when father took me up to town to see the Exhibition. It was cheap for the good silk it is. It has made up very well."
She turned me all round. Then she went to her jewel-case, unlocked it, and took out a row of red coral beads19.
"That's what you want with that dress," said she, fastening them round my throat. "And you shall have them for your own. Red-haired women ought to wear coral, folk say. Though for my part, I always thought it was putting on too many colors."
How well I remember my pleasure at that gift! Joyce wanted to persuade me not to wear them; she said the pale green of the frock was prettier without the red beads. But I wouldn't listen to her; I was too pleased with them, and I do not believe that it was entirely20 owing to gratified vanity; I think a little of it was pleasure that mother thought my appearance worth caring for.
I should not have thought it worth caring for myself two days ago, and I should not have cared whether mother did or not. But something had happened to me. Was it the sight of Joyce and her lover that had made me think of myself as a woman? I cannot tell. All I know is that when we walked into the squire's ball-room a quarter of an hour afterwards, I felt my face flame as I saw his gaze rest upon me for a moment, and I longed most heartily21 to be back again in my high-necked homespun frock, with no corals round my throat at all. So inconsistent are we at nineteen!
Fortunately my awakening22 self-consciousness was soon put to flight by other more engrossing23 emotions. There was a fair sprinkling of people already when we got into the room, and more were arriving every moment. Mr. Farnham and the maiden24 sister with whom he lived were going busily about welcoming the squire's guests almost as though they were the host and hostess themselves: he was the Conservative member. A quiet, inoffensive old gentleman himself, who would have been nothing and nobody without the squire; but blessed with a most officious lady for relative, who took the whole neighborhood under her wing.
She rather annoyed me by the way she had of trading on the squire's support of her brother. He supported her brother because he was a Conservative, not at all because he was Mr. Farnham, or even Miss Farnham's brother.
Poor Mr. Broderick, I dare say, if the truth had been known, he must often heartily have longed to get rid of them. But the old thing was a good soul in her way, if it was a dictatorial25, loud-voiced way, and was very active among the poor, although it was not always in the manner which they liked.
She and mother invariably quarrelled over the advantages of soup-kitchens and clothing clubs; for mother was every bit as obstinate27 as Miss Farnham, and being an old-fashioned woman, liked to do her charity in a more personal fashion.
I looked with mingled28 awe29 and amusement upon their meeting to-night. Miss Farnham had an aggressive sort of head-dress, with nodding artificial flowers that seemed to look down scornfully upon mother's old lace and soft frills. She had not seen me for some time, and when mother introduced me as her youngest daughter, she took my hand firmly in hers, and held it a while in her uncompromising grip while she looked at me through and through.
"Well, I never saw such a thing in my life!" exclaimed she presently, in a loud voice that attracted every one's attention.
I blushed. I was not given to blushing, but it was enough to make any one blush. I thought, of course, that she was alluding30 to my attire31, in which I had felt so shy and awkward from the moment that I had entered the ball-room, from the moment that I had felt the squire's glance rest upon my neck and arms.
She dropped my hand.
"The very image of him," said she, turning to my mother.
"Yes, she is very like her father," agreed the mother.
"Why, my dear, the very image of him," repeated the aggravating32 creature. "Got his temper too?" asked she, turning to me again.
"I don't know, ma'am, I'm sure," answered I, half amused, but still more annoyed. "I dare say."
"Oh, I'll be bound you have, and proud of it too," declared she, shaking her head emphatically. "Girls are always proud to be like their fathers."
"I don't suppose it'll make any very particular difference who I'm like," said I. "Things will happen just the same, I expect."
Miss Farnham laughed and patted me boisterously33 on the back.
I do not think she was an ill-natured woman, although she certainly had the talent of making one feel very uncomfortable.
"Well, you're not so handsome as your sister," added she. "But I don't know that you hadn't better thank your stars for that."
With that she turned away from me and sat down beside mother, arranging her dress comfortably over her knees as though she meant to stay there the whole evening.
The people kept coming fast now. The squire stood at the door shaking hands as hard as he could. There was the old village doctor with his pretty granddaughter, and the young village doctor who had inherited the practice, and had just married a spry little wife in the hope of making it more important.
And then there was the widow of an officer, who lived in a solid brick house that stood at the corner of the village street, and had two sons in the ship business in town. And there was the mild-eyed clergyman with his delicate young wife, who had more than enough babies of her own, and was only too thankful to leave the babies of the parish to Miss Farnham or any one else who would mother them.
She was a sweet little woman, with a transparently34 white face and soft silky hair, and she wore her wedding-dress to-night, without the slightest regard to the fact that it was made in a somewhat elaborate fashion of six years back, and was not exactly suited to her figure at that particular moment. She sat down between mother and Miss Farnham, and must have been considerably35 cheered by that lady's remark to the effect that she looked as if she ought to be in her bed, and that if she did not retire to it she would most likely soon be in her grave.
I left mother and went up to greet Mary Thorne, who had just come in with her father. He was a great, strong, florid man, rather shaky about his h's, but very much the reverse of shaky in any other way; shrewd and keen as a sharp knife or an east wind.
I don't know that I ever spoke36 to him but this once in my life. Father had such an overpowering aversion to him that we were not allowed to keep even the daughter's acquaintance long after this, but he made that impression on me: that there was only one soft spot in him, and that for the motherless girl, who was the only person allowed to contradict him.
She contradicted him now.
The squire had gone up to receive them bluntly enough, even I could see; but the squire might be allowed to have an aversion to the man who was going in as a Radical37 to contest his Conservative's long-occupied seat, though indeed I believe his dislike to the manufacturer was quite as much, because he had bought up one of the old places in the neighborhood with money earned in business. I fancy the Thornes were only invited that night as old friends of Frank Forrester's, and I don't think Frank was thanked for the necessity.
"You must have had a rare job, Broderick, lighting38 this old place up," he was saying as I came up; "all this dark oak, so gloomy looking!"
"Oh, papa, how can you!" laughed his daughter. "Why, it's what everybody admires; it's the great sight of the whole neighborhood."
"Yes, yes; I know, my dear," answered Mr. Thorne; "you mean to say that we should like to live here ourselves. Well, yes, I should have bought the place if it had been in the market, but—"
"But you would have done it up," broke in the squire, bristling39 all over; "whereas there's been nothing new in the Manor40 since—"
He stopped.
I fancied that he was going to say, "Since I brought my bride home;" but he said, after a pause, "since my father died."
"Well, to be sure, I do like a bit of brightness and color," acknowledged Thorne, whose fine house, although in excellent taste, was decidedly ornate and splendid; "and it is more suited to festal occasions."
"There, papa, you know nothing about it," declared Mary, emphatically. "I declare I never saw the Manor look better. Those flags and garlands are beautiful."
"Oh, my nephew Frank did all that," answered the squire, carelessly; "he likes that sort of thing."
"Captain Forrester?" repeated the girl, with just a little smile on her frank, fresh face. "Well, it does him credit then. It isn't every one would take so much trouble."
"He likes taking trouble," said I. "Just look at the trouble that he has taken over our concert."
"He likes playing first-fiddle," laughed Miss Thorne, gayly, her rosy41 face—that was too rosy for prettiness, although not too rosy for the perfection of health—flushing rosier42 than ever as she said it; "I always tell him so."
I did not answer. Mr. Thorne and his daughter moved on, and I looked round the room in search of the captain. The place did look very beautiful, although I do not think that I should like now to see its severe proportions and splendid wood wainscoting disfigured by flags and garlands. We were dancing in what used long ago to be the monks43' refectory. The house had been built on the site of a part of the monastic buildings belonging to the abbey, and this portion of the old edifice45 had been retained, while the remainder of the house was in Tudor style. I heard the squire explaining it to the new parson, who had lately come to the next parish. I had heard him explain it before, or I do not suppose that I should have known anything at all about it.
"I suppose you consider it shocking to be dancing in any part of the monastery46?" I could hear him say, laughing; "but it isn't so bad as a friend of mine who gives balls in what used to be the chapel47."
The parson was a young man, with a sallow, shaven face and very refined features; the expression of his mouth was gentle, almost tremulous, but his eyes were dark and penetrating48.
"I'm not quite so prejudiced as that," he said, laughing also, "although I do wear the cloth."
"That's right," said the squire, heartily. "We have the remains49 of a thirteenth-century chapel of the purest period in the grounds, and we don't desecrate50 that even by a school-feast. You must come and see it in the day-time."
Father came up at that moment. He was dreadfully like a fish out of water, poor father, in this assembly, and looked it. The squire, in a hasty fashion, introduced him to the Rev9. Cyril Morgan, and passed on to shake hands with a portly wine-merchant, who had lately retired51 from business in the neighboring town, and had taken one of the solid red-brick houses that were the remnants of our own town's affluence52.
This gentleman introduced his wife, and she had to be introduced to the company, and the host's hands were full. Father moved away with the parson. He looked rather disgusted at first, but the young man looked at him with a smile upon his gentle mouth and in his dark eyes, and said, diffidently, "I have heard a great deal of you, Mr. Maliphant—the whole neighborhood rings with your name. I am proud to meet you."
Of course, I liked that young man at once, and as I went to sit down again beside the mother and Joyce, I was pleased to see across the room that father and the Rev. Cyril Morgan had entered upon a conversation. But, to tell the truth, I soon forgot him; I was too busy looking about me.
I could not help wondering where Captain Forrester could be, and I was quite angry with Joyce for being so dignified53 and seeming to care so little. She seemed to be quite engrossed54 with the Hoad girls, who sailed in, followed by their father, just late enough to be fashionable, and to secure a good effect for their smart new frocks.
I am afraid I was not gracious to the Hoads. I could not be so gracious as Joyce, who took all their patronizing over the concert in the utmost good faith. I turned away from them, and continued my search for Joyce's admirer. I disliked them, and I am afraid that I showed it.
But they passed on, Bella, who was the better-looking of the two, pursued by two town-bred youths asking for a place on her card; Jessie, the elder, talking with an old lady of title from the seaport55 town, who wished her to sing at a charity concert.
They seemed to be very much engrossed; nevertheless, when presently the band struck up the first waltz, they, as well as many other people in the room, turned round to look who was dancing it. They put up their long-handled eye-glasses and fairly stared; for, as soon as the music began, the squire had walked up to my sister and had asked her to open the ball with him.
Mother blushed with pleasure and triumph; her dear blue eyes positively56 shone. She did not say a word, but I know that if she had spoken she would have said that she was not surprised.
I was not surprised either, but I was very much annoyed, and I was not at all in a good temper with Captain Forrester when, two minutes afterwards, he appeared coming out of the conservatory57 with Mary Thorne upon his arm. What had he been about? No wonder that his face clouded when he saw that he was too late. But it was his own fault; I was not a bit sorry for him. Mary Thorne was laughing and looking up half-defiantly in his face. She looked as if she were saying one of those rough blunt things of which she was so fond; and she might well say one at this moment to Captain Forrester, although I scarcely supposed it could be on the topic on which he deserved it.
Could she possibly be chaffing him on having missed the first dance with my sister? No; for she had had no opportunity of noticing his devotion to her. She dropped his arm and nodded to him merrily, as much as to bid him leave her—as much as to say that she knew there might be better sport elsewhere. And after a word in reply to what she had said, he did leave her and came across to me.
There was a troubled, preoccupied58 look on his bright face, which was scarcely accounted for by the fact that he had missed a dance with Joyce. He greeted me and sat down beside me without even asking after father. We sat and watched Joyce float round in the strong grasp of the squire, but I do not think that we were either of us quite so pleased at the sight as was mother, upon whose face was joy unalloyed.
She was simply genuinely proud that the squire should have opened the ball with her daughter. I think she would have been proud of it had there been no deeper hopes at the bottom of her heart. But there were deeper hopes, and as I watched Joyce that night I remembered them.
In the excitement of watching the romance that I had fancied developing itself more quickly and more decisively than I had even hoped, I had at first quite forgotten my fears about the squire wanting to marry Joyce. They had not occurred to my mind at all until that afternoon two days ago, when he had talked so vehemently59 about Frank's position. But now, as I watched him with her, the notion which I had rather refused to entertain at all before took firmer shape.
I was afraid that the squire really did mean something by this very marked attention to his tenant's daughter. It must needs excite a great deal of comment even among those who knew our rather particular position in the village, and the unusual intimacy60 between two families of different social standing61. Would he have courted that comment merely for the sake of gratifying his old friend? What if he should propose to Joyce—if he should ask our parents' consent to the marriage at once? Would Captain Forrester, the unknown stranger, have any chance beside the friend of years? Would the soldier, who had nothing but what he earned by his brave calling, have a chance against the man who could give her as fine a home as any in the county?
Not with mother; no, I felt not for an instant with mother. But with father?
I knew very well that father, whatever his respect for the man, would never see a marriage between the squire and his daughter with pleasure, and I even thought it likely that he would downright forbid it. But what would be his feelings with regard to the captain? Would they be any different because, belonging by birth to another class, he yet desired to work for the interest of the class that was ours? I could not tell.
I was roused from my dream by the voice of Captain Forrester at my side. He was asking me for a dance—this very next one. There was something in the tone of his voice that puzzled me—a harsh sound, as though something hurt him. Of course I gave him the dance. I was only too delighted.
My feet had begun to itch26 as soon as I had heard the music, and when I had seen Joyce sailing round, and no one had come to ask me, I had felt very lonely. We stood up, even before the squire had brought Joyce back to mother—we stood up, and with the first bars of the new waltz we set forth63. I soon forgot all thought of Joyce, or any one else, in the pure joy of my own pleasure.
I did love dancing. I did not remember that it was Captain Forrester with whom I was dancing, I only knew that it was a man who held me firmly, and whose limbs moved with mine in an even and dreamy rhythm as we glided64 across something that scarcely seemed to be a floor, to the slow lilt of magic music. I was very fond of dancing. I suppose Captain Forrester guessed it, for he never paused once the whole dance through.
When we stopped, just pleasantly out of breath, as the last chords died slowly away, he said, with his eyes on my face in that way that I have described, "Why, Miss Maliphant, you are a heavenly dancer. Where did you learn it?"
"I had six lessons at the academy in the town," answered I, gravely; and I wondered why he burst out laughing, "but Joyce gets out of breath sooner than I do, although she had twelve lessons."
The laughter faded out of his face as I mentioned Joyce's name.
"I don't mean to say that Joyce doesn't dance beautifully," I added, hastily, "she dances better than I do, because she is so tall and slight, but she does get out of breath before the end of a waltz."
He did not make any remark upon this. He only said, "Shall we go back to your mother?"
We got up and walked across the room. Miss Thorne was talking to mother, and a clean-shaven, fresh-colored young officer was inscribing66 his name on Joyce's programme.
Captain Forrester just shook hands with Joyce, and then he came and sat down beside mother and began talking away to her in his most excited fashion, telling her all about the waxing of the floor and the hanging of the banners and the trimming of the evergreen67 garlands, and how the gardener would put the union Jack68 upside down, until she was forced to be more gracious with him than was her wont69.
Joyce's sweet mouth had the look upon it that I knew well when mother and she had had an uncomfortable passage, but I could not imagine why she should wear it to-night. I could look across upon her programme, and I could see that there were names written nearly all the way down it, although I could not read whose names they were, and especially after my one taste of the joy of waltzing, I was beginning to think that no girl could have cause for sadness who had a partner for every dance. Alas71! I had but one, and my spirits were beginning to sink very low. I had forgotten love affairs; I wanted to waltz.
"There is a dreadful lack of gentlemen," said Jessie Hoad, who had come up beside us, putting up her eye-glass and looking round the room. "That unfortunate man must have his hands full."
"Do you mean Squire Broderick?" asked Miss Thorne. "I don't think he considers himself unfortunate. He looked cheerful enough just now, dancing with Miss Maliphant."
Miss Hoad vouchsafed72 no reply to this; she moved off to where her father was talking to mine in a corner, and passing her arm within his, walked him off without the slightest ceremony to be introduced to the old lady with the handle to her name who had come over from our fashionable seaport.
I thought it was very rude, but Mr. Hoad was not quite as affable himself to-night as he was in the privacy of our own Grange parlor73.
"I hate that kind of thing," said Miss Thorne to me, in her out-spoken way. "When are there ever men enough at a country dance unless you get in the riffraff from behind the shop counters? We come to meet our friends, not to whirl round with mere62 sticks."
I thought it was very nice of Miss Thorne, but I wished there were just men enough to dance with me.
The music struck up again and Joyce went off with her partner. I felt as though life indeed were altogether a disappointment; and it did not give me any pleasure to hear Miss Thorne commenting upon Joyce's beauty, nor laughing in her frank, good-natured way about the squire's attentions, any the more than it amused me to hear fragments of the gay descriptions with which Captain Forrester was making the time pass for mother.
But, after all, I began to despair too soon; it was only the fourth dance of the evening. Before it was over the squire came up to me.
"I have been so busy," said he, "I haven't been able to come before, but I hope you haven't given all your dances away?"
Although I was new to the ways of the world, an instinct within taught me to say, coolly, "Oh no, not all."
"What can you give me?" asked he. And he quoted three numbers further on in the evening. "I think, being old friends, we might dance three dances together," added he, with a smile.
"Oh yes," cried I. "I should like to dance them with you."
The squire was a beautiful dancer, although he was not a young man; or rather, although he was not what I then considered a young man. I fancied he did not smile at my enthusiastic reply. He even looked rather grave. I was too simple to think of not giving him my programme. I saw him glance at it and then at me. From that moment I did not lack partners, and as far as the company could provide them, good ones.
To be sure I jostled round the room with a raw youth or two, and guided a puffing74 gentleman through the maze75, and let my toes be trodden upon by a tall gentleman with glasses on his nose, who only turned round when he thought of it; but on the whole I enjoyed myself, and it was all thanks to my host. I scarcely knew a man when I went into the room, and certainly, save for that one wild, delightful76 waltz, Captain Forrester had taken no account of me, although he had sat close to me half the evening, and one would have thought he would have noticed that I was not dancing. But then, of course, he was preoccupied. I could not make him out at all. All the evening I could not once catch him even talking to Joyce, and I am quite sure that when I went in to supper he had not asked her to dance once.
If I had been enjoying myself less I might have thought more of it, but I was too happy to remember it until the breathing-time came, when I went into the dining-room. Then, when I saw Captain Forrester sitting in one of the best places with that horrid77 old Miss Farnham, and Joyce at a side-table, with scarcely room to stand, and no one but my pet aversion, Mr. Hoad, even to get her something to eat, my blood boiled, and I could scarcely speak civilly to him.
And he seemed so interested too, so wrapped up in what the silly creature was saying, with that nodding old topknot of hers! I was thankful when he rose and took her outside to finish their discussion about the poor-laws in the seclusion78 of some corner of the drawing-room. I was very angry with him.
I looked suspiciously at the squire, who had taken mother in to supper and sat at the head of the table with her. Mother was smiling happily: she was proud of the honor that the squire was doing to her and hers. But I could not look kindly79 at the squire. It was infamous80 if, out of mere jealousy81, he had tried to spoil two lives. Instead of being proud that he had done my sister the honor of opening the ball with her, instead of being grateful to him for his kindness to me, and pleased to see all the attention that he was paying to our mother amid the county magnates whom he might have preferred, I was eaten up with this new idea, and felt my heart swell82 within me as Joyce passed me presently with that calm and yet half-tired look on her beautiful face.
Midnight was long past, and it was nearly time to go home. In fact, father had said that it was time to go home long ago. He had made a new friend in the young parson, and seemed to have passed an hour happily with him, but the parson had left, and he had exhausted83 every argument that he would consent to discuss with the people whom he met in ordinary society and had been persuaded by Mr. Hoad to speak a civil word on commonplace subjects to his pet aversion Mr. Thorne, and now he was thoroughly84 sick of the whole thing, and would have no more to do with it.
He came up to mother and begged her to come home, but mother had heard the squire ask Joyce for another dance later on, and I knew very well that she would not leave till that was through; besides, she was the most unselfish old dear in the world, for all her rough words sometimes, and would never have consented to deprive us of an inch of pleasure that she could procure85 us.
Personally I was very grateful to her. I had a dance left with the squire myself, and besides the pleasure of it, I had been arranging something that I wanted to say to him. I was standing alone in the entrance to the conservatory when he came to claim it. I was looking for Joyce. I had missed her ever since supper. I had thought—I had hoped—that she was with Captain Forrester, but when Miss Thorne told me he was talking politics with Mr. Hoad in the drawing-room, I believed her, and was at a loss to understand my sister's absence. Could she be unwell? But I did not confide86 my doubts to the squire. He put his arm around me and swept me off onto that lovely floor, and I thought of nothing else.
I remember very clearly how well the squire looked that night—fresh and merry, with bright keen eyes.
"That's a pretty frock, Miss Margaret," said he, as we were waltzing round.
"Oh, I'm so glad you like it," answered I. "I was afraid it wasn't suitable."
In the excitement of the ball I had entirely forgotten all about my appearance, but now that the squire remarked upon it, I remembered how uncomfortable I had felt in it at first.
"Why not suitable?" asked he.
"Mother bought it at the great Exhibition in '52," said I.
But the real cause of the awkwardness of my feeling had arisen from the fact that I felt unlike myself in a "party frock," and not at all from any fear that the frock might be old-fashioned.
"Oh! and Miss Hoad considers that an objection, I suppose," smiled he. "Well, I don't. There's only one thing I don't like," added he, in his most downright manner. "I don't like the trinkets. You're too young for trinkets."
He had felt it. He had felt just what I had felt—that it was unsuitable for a girl like me to be dressed up.
"You mean the corals," said I; and my voice sank a little, for I was proud of the corals too, and pleased that mother should have given them to me.
"Yes," he answered. "They are very pretty; but," he added, gently, "a young girl's neck is so much prettier."
We waltzed round two turns without speaking. Then he said abruptly87, "Perhaps, by-the-way, I ought not to have said that, but I think such old friends as we are may say anything to one another, mayn't we?"
"Why, of course," said I, rather surprised.
The speech was not at all like one of the squire's. I had always thought that he said just whatever he liked to any of us. But to be sure, until the other evening, he had never spoken very much to me at all.
I laughed—a little nervous laugh. I was stupidly nervous that night with the squire. "I think we should be very silly if we didn't say whatever came into our heads," said I. "I don't think I like people who don't say what they think. Although, of course, it is much more difficult for me to say things to you than for you to say them to me."
"Why?" asked he.
"Well, of course, because you're so much older," answered I.
He was silent. For a moment the high spirits that I had so specially70 noticed in him seemed to desert him.
"Well, what do you want to say to me that's disagreeable?" said he presently, with a little laugh.
"Oh, nothing disagreeable," declared I. "It's about your nephew, Captain Forrester."
"Oh!" said he.
His expression changed. It was as though I had not said what he had expected me to say. But his brow clouded yet more, only it was more with anger than sadness—the same look of anger that he had worn the other afternoon. He certainly was a very hot-tempered man.
"I don't think you are fair to him," said I, boldly.
He looked at me. He smiled a little.
"In what way not fair to him?" said he.
"Well, if it had been any one else but me," answered I, "and you had said all that you did say the other day in the Grange parlor, I think the person would have been set against Captain Forrester. Of course it made no difference to me, because I like him so much."
"You don't understand, my dear young lady," said he. "I merely wished that there should be no misunderstandings."
"I don't think there were any misunderstandings," answered I. "We always knew that Captain Forrester was not a man of property. He told us so himself."
"Well, then, that's all right," said the squire.
The squire did not reply to this. Of course there was nothing to reply to it. It was a rude speech, and was better taken no notice of. He merely put his arm round my waist again, and asked if we should finish the waltz. I was sorry for my discourtesy before we had done, and tried to make up for it.
Although the weather was still very treacherous90 in spite of the clear sky, couples had strayed out through the conservatory onto the broad terrace outside. I suggested to the squire that we should do the same. He demurred91 at first, saying it was too cold; but as I laughed at this, and ran outside without any covering over me, he came after me—but he passed through the entrance-hall on his way and fetched a cloak, which he wrapped round me. In spite of my naughtiness, he had that care for the daughter of his old friends.
The moon was shining outside. It made dark shadows and white lights upon the ivied walls and upon the slender gray pillars of the ruined chapel; within, beneath the pointed92 arches, black patches lay upon the grass, alternated with sharp contrasts of lights where the moonbeams streamed in through the chancel windows.
The marsh93 was white where the silver rays caught the vapors94 that floated over it, and dark beyond that brilliant path-way; there was a track of light upon the sea. We stood a moment and looked. Even to me it seemed strange to leave the brightness of within for this weird95, solemn brightness of the silent world without. I think I sighed. I really was very sorry now for having made that speech.
We walked round the terrace outside the chapel. We scarcely spoke five words. When we came to the wood that shades the chapel on the farther side we stopped. The path that led into it lost itself in blackness.
"It's quite a place for ghosts, isn't it?" said I.
"Yes; it's not the place for any one else," laughed the squire. "Any one less used to dampness would certainly catch their death of cold."
"Oh, you mustn't laugh at ghosts," answered I. "I believe in ghosts. And I'm sure this wood must be full of ghosts—so many wonderful people must have walked about in it hundreds of years ago."
"So long ago as that?" said he.
He was determined96 to treat my fancy lightly. But his laugh was kindly. We turned back to the white moonlight, but not before I had noticed a tall, white figure in the black depths, which I should have been quite sure was a ghost if I had not been equally sure of the contrary. The figure was not alone. If it had been, I should have accosted97 it. As it was, I took the squire's arm and walked away quickly in the direction of the house. The music had struck up again. The swing of an entrancing Strauss waltz came floating out on the night wind.
"We must go in-doors," said the squire, not at all like a man who was longing44 to dance to that lovely air; "I'm engaged for this to Miss Thorne."
Poor man! No doubt he had had nearly enough by that time of playing the host and of dancing every dance; he wanted a few minutes' rest.
I too was engaged, but not to a very delightful partner. After one turn round the room with him, I complained of the heat, and begged him to take me outside. Of course we went towards the ruin.
Of the few couples who had come out, all had gone that way, because from that point there was a break in the belt of trees, and one could see to the marsh and the sea. But we went round the chapel to the wood on the other side.
"I say, it looks gloomy in there, doesn't it?" said the young man at my side.
"Yes," answered I, but I was not looking into the wood now.
I had glanced into the interior of the ruin as we had passed, and I had seen a tall black figure leaning up in the deep shadow against the side of the central arch that stood up so quietly against the soft sky. I felt quite sure that the "ghost," whom I had seen a few minutes before, was close by. I was nearly certain that I saw a white streak98 that was not moonlight beyond the bend of the arch.
I turned round and went down the lawn a few steps, my companion following. He began to talk to me, but I did not know what he said. I was listening beyond him to another voice. It fell sadly upon my ear.
"I've no doubt the girl was right," it said. "I'm sure she was right. I had never noticed it before, but his leading you out to-night before every one was very significant."
It was my sister's voice that answered, but she must almost have whispered the words, for I could not hear them at all.
The man spoke again.
"Yes; that's not very likely," answered he, with a soft laugh. "Of course, how could he help it? Oh, I ought to have gone away," he added; "I ought to have gone away as soon as I had seen you. But I couldn't. You see even to-night, when I have tried to keep away from you, you have made me come to you at last. And I didn't think that I was doing you any harm till now."
He emphasized the word "you." I did not notice it then, but I recollect it now.
Again my sister's voice said something; what, I could not hear.
"Do you mean that, dearest? do you mean that?" said he, softly. "That you would not marry him if you could help it, although he would make such a lady of you? Ah, then I think I can guess something!"
A fiery99 blush rose to my cheek. I was glad that in the white moonlight my companion could not see it. I ran quickly down the slope of grass onto the gravel65 walk. It was dreadful, dreadful that I should have listened to these words which were meant for her ear alone.
"Come," I called to the lad, who loitered behind; "come, it's cold, we must go in."
He followed me slowly.
"I believe there were a man and a girl spooning behind that wall," he said, with a grin.
How I hated him! I have never spoken to him from that day to this, and yet, was it his fault?
We went back into the ball-room. The waltz was over. I had a partner for the last one, but I did not care to dance it. I was watching for Joyce, and when I saw her presently floating round with her hand on Captain Forrester's arm, I thought I was quite happy.
But mother was not happy. She had thought that Joyce would dance the last dance with Squire Broderick. She said that father was tired, and that she wanted to go. And indeed his face looked very weary, and his heavy lips heavier than ever.
No doubt we were all tired, for the squire too had lost the cheerful look that he had worn all through the evening.
I sat and waited for Joyce, and I wondered to myself whether any one would ever make love to me with his heart in his voice.
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1
pegs
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| n.衣夹( peg的名词复数 )；挂钉；系帐篷的桩；弦钮v.用夹子或钉子固定( peg的第三人称单数 )；使固定在某水平 | |
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deftness
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ruffle
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| v.弄皱，弄乱；激怒，扰乱；n.褶裥饰边 | |
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tacked
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| 用平头钉钉( tack的过去式和过去分词 )； 附加，增补； 帆船抢风行驶，用粗线脚缝 | |
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attic
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| n.顶楼，屋顶室 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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neatly
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| adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地 | |
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ruffles
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| 褶裥花边( ruffle的名词复数 ) | |
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rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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freckles
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| n.雀斑，斑点( freckle的名词复数 ) | |
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frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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frailness
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| n.脆弱，不坚定 | |
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virgins
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| 处女，童男( virgin的名词复数 )； 童贞玛利亚（耶稣之母） | |
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alabaster
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| adj.雪白的；n.雪花石膏；条纹大理石 | |
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lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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16
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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beads
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| n.（空心）小珠子( bead的名词复数 )；水珠；珠子项链 | |
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20
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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22
awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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23
engrossing
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| adj.使人全神贯注的，引人入胜的v.使全神贯注( engross的现在分词 ) | |
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24
maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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dictatorial
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| adj. 独裁的，专断的 | |
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itch
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| n.痒，渴望，疥癣；vi.发痒，渴望 | |
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obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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28
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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29
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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alluding
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| 提及，暗指( allude的现在分词 ) | |
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attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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aggravating
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| adj.恼人的，讨厌的 | |
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boisterously
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| adv.喧闹地，吵闹地 | |
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transparently
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| 明亮地，显然地，易觉察地 | |
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considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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37
radical
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| n.激进份子，原子团，根号；adj.根本的，激进的，彻底的 | |
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38
lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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bristling
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| a.竖立的 | |
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40
manor
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| n.庄园，领地 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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42
rosier
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| Rosieresite | |
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43
monks
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| n.修道士，僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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44
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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45
edifice
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| n.宏伟的建筑物(如宫殿，教室) | |
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46
monastery
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| n.修道院，僧院，寺院 | |
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47
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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48
penetrating
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| adj.（声音）响亮的，尖锐的adj.（气味）刺激的adj.（思想）敏锐的，有洞察力的 | |
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49
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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50
desecrate
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| v.供俗用，亵渎，污辱 | |
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51
retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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52
affluence
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| n.充裕，富足 | |
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53
dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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54
engrossed
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| adj.全神贯注的 | |
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55
seaport
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| n.海港，港口，港市 | |
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56
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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57
conservatory
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| n.温室，音乐学院；adj.保存性的，有保存力的 | |
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58
preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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59
vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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60
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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61
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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62
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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64
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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gravel
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| n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石 | |
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66
inscribing
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的现在分词 ) | |
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67
evergreen
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| n.常青树；adj.四季常青的 | |
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68
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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69
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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70
specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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71
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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72
vouchsafed
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| v.给予，赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 )；允诺 | |
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73
parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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74
puffing
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| v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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75
maze
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| n.迷宫，八阵图，混乱，迷惑 | |
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76
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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77
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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78
seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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79
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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80
infamous
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| adj.声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的，邪恶的 | |
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81
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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82
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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83
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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84
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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85
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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86
confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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87
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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88
winced
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| 赶紧避开，畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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89
mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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90
treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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91
demurred
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| v.表示异议，反对( demur的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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92
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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93
marsh
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| n.沼泽，湿地 | |
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94
vapors
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| n.水汽，水蒸气，无实质之物( vapor的名词复数 )；自夸者；幻想 [药]吸入剂 [古]忧郁（症）v.自夸，（使）蒸发( vapor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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95
weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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96
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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97
accosted
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| v.走过去跟…讲话( accost的过去式和过去分词 )；跟…搭讪；（乞丐等）上前向…乞讨；（妓女等）勾搭 | |
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98
streak
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| n.条理，斑纹，倾向，少许，痕迹；v.加条纹，变成条纹，奔驰，快速移动 | |
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99
fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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