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CHAPTER XVII.
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 I do not suppose that I had the dimmest notion at the time that this man, whom I considered my foe1, had sprung surely, and as soon as I saw him, into that mysterious blank space that exists in every woman's imagination, waiting to be filled by the figure that shall henceforth bound her horizon. I do not suppose that I guessed at my real feelings for a moment. If I had done so, I am sure that it would only have aggravated2 my hostile attitude, whereas my first most unreasonable3 mood was beginning slowly to lapse4 into one of friendly interest, and of eager desire to be of use.
 
It is poor sport keeping up an attitude of defiance5 towards a person who is entirely6 unconscious of one's intention; and whether Mr. Harrod was really unconscious of my intention or not, he certainly acted as if he were, and was, as far as his reserved nature would allow, so friendly towards me, that I could not choose but be friendly towards him in return. Anyhow, it is true that ere three weeks had[131] passed, that began to happen which Joyce had so anxiously desired: Mr. Harrod and I began to make friends over our common interests.
 
A certain amount of defiance had begun to be transferred in me from him, whose coming I had so bitterly resented, to those who shared that resentment7 of mine.
 
Reuben was still sadly refractory8. Luckily he was not much among the men; but where there's a will there's a way; and I'm afraid he had influence enough to do no good. And Deborah troubled me more. Although mother was for the bailiff, because he was the squire9's friend, and also because, I think, she was really far more anxious about father's health than she allowed us to guess, and wanted him to be saved work—Deborah had not really allowed herself to be convinced as she generally was.
 
She was not unreasonable; she was too clever to be unreasonable, and she loved us all too dearly to resent any step which she chose to believe was for the good of any of us. But I am sure she never believed that this step was for the good of any of us. From beginning to end she never liked Trayton Harrod. And what specially10 annoyed me about her at this time was that she pretended to be trying to make me like him; and as I innocently began to change my own feelings, so I naturally began to resent this attitude in her.
 
On the very afternoon of which I am thinking, I resented Deborah's attitude. I had been in the kitchen making cakes (when Joyce was away it was I who had to make the cakes), and Deborah had taken advantage of the opportunity to follow up the line already begun by my sister, and to beg me, for father's sake, to forget my grievance11 and to be gracious to the young bailiff. As may be imagined, Deborah did not consider that she was bound to show any consideration in the matter of what she said to us girls.
 
"I know it comes hard on you, my dear," said she. "There's lots of little jobs you used to do afore, and no doubt did just as well, that'll be this young man's place to do now, and he won't notice whether you mind it or no. 'Tain't likely. But so long as he don't interfere12 with what we've got to do, we'll mind our own business and never give him a thought. You see, child, it's your father has got to say whether the young man's a-helping or a-hindering. Maybe he'll find out these chaps, that have learned it all on book and paper, don't know the top from the bottom any better nor he do himself. But that's for them to settle atween 'em, and it's none of our lookout13."
 
I don't know why this speech should specially have irritated me,[132] but it did. Even if I had begun to guess that I was growing to like Mr. Harrod better than I had intended to like him, I certainly should not have been glad that any one else should guess it. But the fact is that I believe I had lived the last fortnight without any thought, and that this speech of Deborah's roused me to an investigation14 of my feelings which was annoying to me.
 
"I have no intention at all of being rude, Deb," exclaimed I. "I leave that to you. I don't think it's lady-like to be rude."
 
Deb laughed.
 
"Oh, come now, none of your hoighty-toightyness!" exclaimed she. "Who carried on up-stairs and down when first squire talked about a bailiff to master at all? I haven't nursed you when you were a baby not to know when you're in a bad temper. It's plain enough, my dear."
 
"I know I have a bad temper," said I; "but I don't see that that has anything to do with the matter."
 
I suppose something in the way I said it must have touched old Deb, who had a soft heart for all her rough ways, for she said in her topsy-turvy way:
 
"Well, there—no more I don't see that it has. All I mean is that if you let him alone he'll let you alone, and no harm done. You'll have the more time for your books and for looking after your clothes a bit. You know I've often told you you'll never get a beau so long as you go about gypsying as you do."
 
"Deborah, how dare you!" cried I, angrily. "You know very well that—"
 
"That I wouldn't have a lover for anything in the world," I was going to say, and deeply perjure15 myself; but at that very moment mother opened the door and looked into the kitchen. She had her spectacles still on her nose, and an open letter in her hand.
 
"Margaret, I want you," said she, shortly, "in the parlor16."
 
"I can't come just now, mother," answered I. "The cakes will burn."
 
"Deborah will see to the cakes," said mother, and I knew by her tone of voice that I must do as she bade me. "I want you at once."
 
I knew what it was about. Two days ago I had had a letter from Joyce. It gave me no news; she had got on with her tapestry17; she had trimmed herself a new bonnet18; Aunt Naomi's rheumatism19 was no better; she hoped that father's gout had not returned—no news until the very end. Then she said she had been to the Royal[133] Academy of pictures in London, with an old lady who lived close to Aunt Naomi, and that she had there met Captain Forrester.
 
Certainly this was a big enough piece of news to suffice for one letter. But why had Joyce put it at the very end? and why did she hurry it over as quickly as possible, making no sort or kind of comment upon it? It was another of the things about Joyce that I could not make out. Why was she not proud of her engagement? Why did she never care to speak of it? I thought that if I were engaged to a man whom I loved I should be very proud of it, whereas she always seemed anxious to avoid the subject.
 
Of course it was horrible to be parted from him, but then it should lighten her burden to speak of it to some one who sympathized with her as I did. But I knew well enough why it was. It all came from that overstrained notion of duty. She had promised mother that she would not see Frank, and would not write to Frank, and would not speak of Frank, and she kept so strictly20 to the letter of this promise that she would not speak of him even to me.
 
When first I had read Joyce's letter I had been angry with her for a cold-hearted girl, but now I was not angry with her. I admired her, but I made up my mind that her passion for self-sacrifice should not wreck21 her life's happiness if I could prevent it. Face to face it was difficult to scold Joyce. There was a kind of gentle obstinacy22 about her which took one unawares, and was very hard to deal with. But in a letter I could speak my mind, and I would speak my mind—not only to her, but, what was far more difficult, to mother also. So that when mother put her head in at the kitchen door and summoned me to the parlor, I guessed what it was about, and I knew pretty well what I was going to say. She put the letter into my hand and sat down, looking up at me over her spectacles as I read it, with her clear blue eyes intent and a little frown on her white brow. It was from Aunt Naomi, and it said that a young man named Captain Forrester had just been to call upon Joyce; she thought she noticed a certain confusion on Joyce's part during his presence, she therefore wrote at once to know whether his visits were sanctioned by her parents, as she did not wish to get into any trouble.
 
Oh, what a horrid23 old woman she was! "How could people be narrow-minded and selfish to such a point as that?" I said to myself. Mother watched me, and Deborah came into the room to lay the cloth. It was just curiosity that brought her.
 
"It's a ridiculous letter," said I, roughly, throwing it down with[134] an ill grace, and looking defiantly24, not at mother, but at the old woman, who regarded me with reproving eyes. "Why in the world shouldn't Joyce receive a visit from a gentleman—still more from the man she's going to marry?"
 
"She's not going to marry him, at least not with my free consent," said mother, putting her lips together in a set curve that I knew.
 
"Well, then, of course it will be a great pity, but I suppose it will have to be without your consent," said I, rashly.
 
"Well, I'm sure!" ejaculated Deborah, under her breath, and looking at me with something like remonstrance25. Mother rose with dignity, and turning to the table she said, "Deborah, would you be so kind as to fetch in the cold ham?"
 
Of course Deborah knew that she was being sent out of the room that I might have a piece of mother's mind, and my own was a struggle between pleasure that Deborah should for once be set down, and anger that she should know the reason of her dismissal. She stayed a moment, setting the forks round the table to a nicety of precision; then, as she passed out of the room she gave me a friendly nudge, and looked at me a moment with a sort of humorous kindliness26 in her shrewd gray eyes.
 
Mother took up the letter again. "Do you know how Captain Forrester knew where Joyce was staying?" asked she.
 
"No, how should I know?" answered I. "Joyce told me that she had met him accidentally at the Royal Academy. I suppose he found out where she was. Where there's a will there's a way."
 
"But he undertook not to try and see her," remarked mother, severely27. "His conduct is dishonorable."
 
"Well, you might make some allowances," cried I. "It shows he loves her; it shows she will be happy with him. And look here, mother," added I, in a sudden frenzy28 of frankness, "I believe that if I were to get the chance of doing anything to help to bring them together, I should do it."
 
Mother looked at me fixedly29. "No, you wouldn't," said she at last. "You're headstrong and mistaken, but you're honest. You've taken your word you wouldn't interfere nor mention the matter to any one for a year, and you'll keep your word."
 
I knew very well that she was right, but I said boldly, "Joyce is my sister, I love her, I want her to be happy, and I shall do what I can to make her so."
 
Still mother looked at me. "You forget that I want Joyce to be[135] happy too," said she. "If she is your sister she is also my daughter." There was a tremble in her voice, whether of anger or distress30, I did not know.
 
"Of course I know very well that you care about her and her happiness," said I; "but perhaps you don't see what is best for it. How can old people, whose youth is past ever so long ago, remember how young people feel? They can't know what young folk need to be happy as well as others of their own age can."
 
"Maybe they can look ahead a bit better, though," said mother, without deigning31 to argue with me. "Be that as it may, I don't think I'll ask you to teach me what's best for my children's happiness. I may be all wrong, of course, but I mean to try and have my own way as long as I can, though I know very well we can't expect the duty and reverence32 we used to pay our parents when I was your age."
 
I felt that the rebuke33 was deserved, and I was silent.
 
"At all events, it's no business of yours," continued mother. "If the thing has got to be fought out, I would rather fight it out with Joyce herself. If she insists upon marrying the young man, I suppose she can do so. She is of age."
 
I did not answer her, but I laughed. The idea of Joyce insisting upon doing anything was too ridiculous. And, of course, mother knew this quite well, so that it was not quite fair of her.
 
Having once begun to laugh, the spell of my ill-humor was, however, broken, and it was in a very different tone of voice that I said, "Come, mother, you know very well that sister is far too gentle, and loves you far too much, ever to do anything against your wish, so that's ridiculous, isn't it?"
 
Mother smiled. "Yes, yes, she's a good girl," she said. "You are both of you good children, but you mustn't be so self-sufficient and headstrong."
 
"Well, I suppose I am headstrong," said I; "I'm sorry for it. But Joyce isn't. I do think she ought to be put upon less than folk who are. I believe if nobody fought Joyce's battles she'd let herself be wiped right out."
 
And sure enough, by the afternoon post there came a letter from Joyce which satisfied mother more than it did me. It explained that Captain Forrester had come to Sydenham uninvited and unwelcome; and it begged mother to believe that he would never come again.

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1 foe ygczK     
n.敌人,仇敌
参考例句:
  • He knew that Karl could be an implacable foe.他明白卡尔可能会成为他的死敌。
  • A friend is a friend;a foe is a foe;one must be clearly distinguished from the other.敌是敌,友是友,必须分清界限。
2 aggravated d0aec1b8bb810b0e260cb2aa0ff9c2ed     
使恶化( aggravate的过去式和过去分词 ); 使更严重; 激怒; 使恼火
参考例句:
  • If he aggravated me any more I shall hit him. 假如他再激怒我,我就要揍他。
  • Far from relieving my cough, the medicine aggravated it. 这药非但不镇咳,反而使我咳嗽得更厉害。
3 unreasonable tjLwm     
adj.不讲道理的,不合情理的,过度的
参考例句:
  • I know that they made the most unreasonable demands on you.我知道他们对你提出了最不合理的要求。
  • They spend an unreasonable amount of money on clothes.他们花在衣服上的钱太多了。
4 lapse t2lxL     
n.过失,流逝,失效,抛弃信仰,间隔;vi.堕落,停止,失效,流逝;vt.使失效
参考例句:
  • The incident was being seen as a serious security lapse.这一事故被看作是一次严重的安全疏忽。
  • I had a lapse of memory.我记错了。
5 defiance RmSzx     
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗
参考例句:
  • He climbed the ladder in defiance of the warning.他无视警告爬上了那架梯子。
  • He slammed the door in a spirit of defiance.他以挑衅性的态度把门砰地一下关上。
6 entirely entirely     
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
7 resentment 4sgyv     
n.怨愤,忿恨
参考例句:
  • All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。
  • She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。
8 refractory GCOyK     
adj.倔强的,难驾驭的
参考例句:
  • He is a very refractory child.他是一个很倔强的孩子。
  • Silicate minerals are characteristically refractory and difficult to break down.硅酸盐矿物的特点是耐熔和难以分离。
9 squire 0htzjV     
n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅
参考例句:
  • I told him the squire was the most liberal of men.我告诉他乡绅是世界上最宽宏大量的人。
  • The squire was hard at work at Bristol.乡绅在布里斯托尔热衷于他的工作。
10 specially Hviwq     
adv.特定地;特殊地;明确地
参考例句:
  • They are specially packaged so that they stack easily.它们经过特别包装以便于堆放。
  • The machine was designed specially for demolishing old buildings.这种机器是专为拆毁旧楼房而设计的。
11 grievance J6ayX     
n.怨愤,气恼,委屈
参考例句:
  • He will not easily forget his grievance.他不会轻易忘掉他的委屈。
  • He had been nursing a grievance against his boss for months.几个月来他对老板一直心怀不满。
12 interfere b5lx0     
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰
参考例句:
  • If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话,可能弊多利少。
  • When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件,棘手的事情就来了。
13 lookout w0sxT     
n.注意,前途,瞭望台
参考例句:
  • You can see everything around from the lookout.从了望台上你可以看清周围的一切。
  • It's a bad lookout for the company if interest rates don't come down.如果利率降不下来,公司的前景可就不妙了。
14 investigation MRKzq     
n.调查,调查研究
参考例句:
  • In an investigation,a new fact became known, which told against him.在调查中新发现了一件对他不利的事实。
  • He drew the conclusion by building on his own investigation.他根据自己的调查研究作出结论。
15 perjure cM5x0     
v.作伪证;使发假誓
参考例句:
  • The man scrupled to perjure himself.这人发伪誓时迟疑了起来。
  • She would rather perjure herself than admit to her sins.她宁愿在法庭上撒谎也不愿承认她的罪行。
16 parlor v4MzU     
n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅
参考例句:
  • She was lying on a small settee in the parlor.她躺在客厅的一张小长椅上。
  • Is there a pizza parlor in the neighborhood?附近有没有比萨店?
17 tapestry 7qRy8     
n.挂毯,丰富多采的画面
参考例句:
  • How about this artistic tapestry and this cloisonne vase?这件艺术挂毯和这个景泰蓝花瓶怎么样?
  • The wall of my living room was hung with a tapestry.我的起居室的墙上挂着一块壁毯。
18 bonnet AtSzQ     
n.无边女帽;童帽
参考例句:
  • The baby's bonnet keeps the sun out of her eyes.婴孩的帽子遮住阳光,使之不刺眼。
  • She wore a faded black bonnet garnished with faded artificial flowers.她戴着一顶褪了色的黑色无边帽,帽上缀着褪了色的假花。
19 rheumatism hDnyl     
n.风湿病
参考例句:
  • The damp weather plays the very devil with my rheumatism.潮湿的天气加重了我的风湿病。
  • The hot weather gave the old man a truce from rheumatism.热天使这位老人暂时免受风湿病之苦。
20 strictly GtNwe     
adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地
参考例句:
  • His doctor is dieting him strictly.他的医生严格规定他的饮食。
  • The guests were seated strictly in order of precedence.客人严格按照地位高低就座。
21 wreck QMjzE     
n.失事,遇难;沉船;vt.(船等)失事,遇难
参考例句:
  • Weather may have been a factor in the wreck.天气可能是造成这次失事的原因之一。
  • No one can wreck the friendship between us.没有人能够破坏我们之间的友谊。
22 obstinacy C0qy7     
n.顽固;(病痛等)难治
参考例句:
  • It is a very accountable obstinacy.这是一种完全可以理解的固执态度。
  • Cindy's anger usually made him stand firm to the point of obstinacy.辛迪一发怒,常常使他坚持自见,并达到执拗的地步。
23 horrid arozZj     
adj.可怕的;令人惊恐的;恐怖的;极讨厌的
参考例句:
  • I'm not going to the horrid dinner party.我不打算去参加这次讨厌的宴会。
  • The medicine is horrid and she couldn't get it down.这种药很难吃,她咽不下去。
24 defiantly defiantly     
adv.挑战地,大胆对抗地
参考例句:
  • Braving snow and frost, the plum trees blossomed defiantly. 红梅傲雪凌霜开。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • She tilted her chin at him defiantly. 她向他翘起下巴表示挑衅。 来自《简明英汉词典》
25 remonstrance bVex0     
n抗议,抱怨
参考例句:
  • She had abandoned all attempts at remonstrance with Thomas.她已经放弃了一切劝戒托马斯的尝试。
  • Mrs. Peniston was at the moment inaccessible to remonstrance.目前彭尼斯顿太太没功夫听她告状。
26 kindliness 2133e1da2ddf0309b4a22d6f5022476b     
n.厚道,亲切,友好的行为
参考例句:
  • Martha looked up into a strange face and dark eyes alight with kindliness and concern. 马撒慢慢抬起头,映入眼帘的是张陌生的脸,脸上有一双充满慈爱和关注的眼睛。 来自辞典例句
  • I think the chief thing that struck me about Burton was his kindliness. 我想,我对伯顿印象最深之处主要还是这个人的和善。 来自辞典例句
27 severely SiCzmk     
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地
参考例句:
  • He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。
  • He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。
28 frenzy jQbzs     
n.疯狂,狂热,极度的激动
参考例句:
  • He was able to work the young students up into a frenzy.他能激起青年学生的狂热。
  • They were singing in a frenzy of joy.他们欣喜若狂地高声歌唱。
29 fixedly 71be829f2724164d2521d0b5bee4e2cc     
adv.固定地;不屈地,坚定不移地
参考例句:
  • He stared fixedly at the woman in white. 他一直凝视着那穿白衣裳的女人。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The great majority were silent and still, looking fixedly at the ground. 绝大部分的人都不闹不动,呆呆地望着地面。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
30 distress 3llzX     
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛
参考例句:
  • Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
  • Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。
31 deigning 1b2657f2fe573d21cb8fa3d44bbdc7f1     
v.屈尊,俯就( deign的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • She just grunted, not deigning to look up from the page. 她只咕哝了一声,继续看书,不屑抬起头来看一眼。
  • He passed by without deigning to look at me. 他走过去不屑看我一眼。 来自《简明英汉词典》
32 reverence BByzT     
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬
参考例句:
  • He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
  • We reverence tradition but will not be fettered by it.我们尊重传统,但不被传统所束缚。
33 rebuke 5Akz0     
v.指责,非难,斥责 [反]praise
参考例句:
  • He had to put up with a smart rebuke from the teacher.他不得不忍受老师的严厉指责。
  • Even one minute's lateness would earn a stern rebuke.哪怕迟到一分钟也将受到严厉的斥责。


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