Mother very rightly upbraided2 me for it, and in a way that showed me that she was more than ever determined3 that Joyce should not marry Captain Forrester if she could help it. She said that Joyce was beginning to forget this dandy love affair, and that it was all the more annoying of me to have gone putting my finger in the pie and stirring up old memories. I declared that Joyce was not forgetting Frank at all, and told mother I wondered at her for thinking a daughter of hers could be so fickle4, and for supposing that her manner meant anything but the determination to keep to the unfair promise that had been extracted from her.
Ah, dear me, if I could have believed in that other string that mother had to her bow for Joyce! But although the squire5 came to the Grange just as often as ever, I could not deceive myself into thinking his coming or going made any difference to my sister, whatever might be his feelings towards her. If Joyce had not encouraged her lover, as I thought she ought to have done, that was not the reason. I told myself that the reason was in the different way in which we looked at such matters; but I was sorry I had brought Frank to the Grange.
With my arrogance6 of youth, I might have got over mother's scolding if I could have persuaded myself that I had done any good; but I could not but think that I seemed to have done nothing but harm. Joyce was almost distant to me in a way that had never happened before in our lives; and when I tried to upbraid1 her for her coldness, she choked me off in a quiet fashion that there was no withstanding and left me alone, sore and silent and angry. Oh, and there was a worse result of that unlucky visit than all this, although I would not even tell my own heart of it.
Joyce, as I have said, was moody7 and silent all the next day. To be sure, the weather had turned from that glorious heat to a dull gray, showery fit that was most depressing to everybody. It had most reason to be depressing to Trayton Harrod, who had his eye on the crops even more anxiously than father had himself. The rain had not as yet been heavy or continuous enough to do more than refresh the parched8 earth, but a little more might make a serious difference to the wheat and the hops9, of which the one harvest was not yet all garnered10, the second nearly ready for picking.
This, and the annoyance11 about the broken water-pipes—in which matter he had failed to discover the offenders—were quite enough, of course, to account for the cloud upon the bailiff's brow as I came across him that evening on the ridge12 of the downs by the new reservoir. I ought to have remembered this; I ought to have soothed13 the trouble; I should have done so a fortnight ago. But I was ruffed, unreasonable14, unjust.
"Well, have you discovered anything more about that ridiculous affair?" I asked, nipping off the twig15 of a bush in the hedge pettishly16 as I spoke17.
"Well, about those water-pipes that you fancy the men have stamped upon to spite you," laughed I, ill-naturedly.
He pressed his lips together. "I think I guess pretty well who was at the bottom of it," he said. "But the work is finished now and in working order, so I shall say no more about it."
I knew very well that if he could have been certain of his facts he would have said a great deal more about it, and in my unreasonable ill-temper I wanted to make him feel this.
"Guessing isn't enough," I replied. "But if you could be sure, it would be far better to let the man know that you have discovered him. You'll never get anything out of these Sussex people by knuckling19 under to them."
I was sorry for the words as soon as I had said them, for it was an insulting speech to a man in his position; but I wouldn't show any humility20.
"Thank you," he answered, coldly. "I must do the best I can, of course, in managing the Sussex people. But, anyhow, it is I who have to do it."
I would not see the just reproof21. "Well, if any one is to blame in this it isn't poor old Reuben," I declared, stoutly22; "he's obstinate23, but he isn't mean. It might be Jack24 Barnstaple. I don't say it is, but it might be. It isn't Reuben."
"I am quite of your opinion," answered he. "But as you say, guessing is of no avail, so we had best let the matter drop."
He turned to go one way and I the other. But just as we were parting, Reuben appeared upon the crest25 of the hill with Luck at his heels. They were inseparable companions. Luck was the one sign of his former calling that still clung to poor old Reuben. But he was very old, older than his master; both had done good work in their day, but both were nearly past work now.
"That dog will have to be shot soon," said Trayton Harrod, looking at the way the poor beast dragged itself along, stiff with rheumatism26, which the damp weather had brought out. "I told Reuben so the other day."
"Shot!" cried I, with angry eyes. "No one shall shoot that dog while I have a word to say in the matter."
And I ran across to where Luck was coming to meet me, his tail wagging with pleasure.
"Poor old Luck! poor old fellow!" I murmured, stooping to caress27 him. "They want to shoot you, do they? But I won't allow it."
"He's not your dog, Reuben," I said. "He's father's, although you have had him for your own so long. And father will have a voice in the matter before he's shot. Don't be afraid. He sha'n't be shot. We can nurse him when he needs nursing, and he shall die peaceably like a human being. He deserves as much any day, I'm sure. He has worked as well."
Taff was my special dog, and it was true that Luck had always, as it were, belonged to Reuben, but now that I fancied him in danger, all my latent love of the weak and injured rose up strong within me, and I fought for the post of Luck's champion. Perhaps my mood of unreasonable temper had just a little to do with it too.
"You are mistaken," said Trayton, coldly. "The poor beast is ill and weary. It would be a far greater kindness to shoot him."
"Well, he sha'n't be shot, then, so there's an end," cried I, testily29, rising to my feet and looking Harrod in the face.
"Oh, very good; of course it's not my business," said he.
He turned away up the slope. But the spirit of annoyance was in Reuben as it was in me that day.
"I came to have a bit of a look at the 'op-fields, master," said he. "The sky don't look just as we might choose, do it?"
"This rain is not enough to hurt," growled Harrod, without looking round.
"No, no; we might put up with this so long as it don't go on," agreed Reuben, slowly. "We want a bit of rain after all that dry weather. You didn't get your water-pipes laid on in time for the dry weather, did you, Master Harrod? begging your pardon," asked the old man, slyly.
"No; some mischievous30 persons took a childish delight in putting them out of order," said the bailiff, turning round sharply; "but I have my eye on them."
"They're dreadful brittle31 things, them china things, for such work," said Reuben, in a slow, sleepy voice. "I doubt you'll never get the water to go just as you fancy. They do say there's another broke down by Widow Dawes," he added, with a grin.
Harrod turned round, with a muttered imprecation.
"But there, I'm thinking you won't want no water round about for some while to come, mister. The Lord'll do it for ye."
"I tell you the weather hasn't broken up, man. This rain is nothing," growled Harrod again, striding up the bank as he spoke.
"Right, right," agreed Reuben, nodding his head; "we must trust the Lord, we must. Though, for my part, I'd sooner trust Him with anything rather than a few gardens of 'ops." Reuben sighed as he looked out across the valley that was so rich now with the tall and graceful32 growths. "They're a fine sight now," said he, "but the Lord can lay 'em low." And with that comforting reflection, he turned his back on me and went down the path.
Luckily for Reuben, I had not leisure just then to think of him or his words; my thoughts were elsewhere. Trayton Harrod had reached the top of the slope. He was nearly out of ear-shot. I watched his figure grow longer and longer upon the softening33 sky, that was slowly clearing with the coming twilight34.
How could I bear to let him go from me like that? Was it for this that we had had those good times together, those happy, happy hours, that lived in my memory like stars upon a bright sky? Was it for nothing that he had held my hands in his and tuned35 his voice to gentleness in speaking to me? Was it for nothing that my heart beat wild and hot, so full of longing37, so full of devotion? Oh, and yet it was I who had made this foolish quarrel! How could I have allowed my unreasonable temper to get the better of me like that? It was my fault, all my fault! What devil had taken possession of me to fill my heart with wicked and unjust fancies, to imbitter all that was but a little while ago so sweet?
My heart was heavy, the tears came into my eyes. If he loved me he would forgive me, I said to myself, and I forgot all of what I had been wont38 to consider proper pride, and ran after him.
"Mr. Harrod," I called. He turned at once and waited for me.
"You're going to London one of these days, aren't you?" I said, breathlessly, for I had run up the bank.
"One day before the hop-picking begins," he said, hurriedly, impatient to get on; "but not before the harvest is all in."
He turned, walking on, and I walked by his side.
"Well, when you go, I want you to do something for me," I said. "I want you to buy some books for me."
"Buy some books!" ejaculated he. "What books?"
"I don't know," I answered. "I have saved some money, and I want to buy some books with it. But I don't know what books. I thought you would advise me."
He laughed. "I don't think I'm at all the proper person to advise you what books to buy. I'm not much of a reader myself. I've got my father's books, and have had some pleasant hours with them too, but I don't know if they're the best kind of books for a young woman to read. No, I'm not the proper person to advise you, I'm sure. You'd better ask the squire."
"Well, he's an older friend of yours than I am, and far better suited to advise you," answered Harrod. "And he would do anything for you, I'm sure."
Was it possible that Harrod might be under a delusion40? Somehow it gave me pleasure to think that it might be possible.
"The squire is no friend of mine," said I. I was ashamed of the words before they were spoken, they were so untrue; but I spoke them under the smart of the moment.
"How can you say such a thing?" said Harrod, sternly.
"I don't mean to say that he wouldn't do anything for any of us," I murmured, ashamed. "I only meant to say that he would be more likely to do it—for Joyce."
I felt his eyes turn upon me, and I raised mine to his face. It was quiet, all trace of the temper that had been there five minutes ago had vanished; but his eyes, those steely gray eyes, looked me through. But it was only for a moment. Then the shade upon his brow melted away, and the hard lines of his mouth broke into that parting of the lips which was scarcely a smile yet lit his whole face as with a strong, sharp ray of light.
There never was a face that changed as his face changed; not with many and varying expressions as with some folk—for his was a character reserved almost to isolation41, and if he felt many things he told but few of them, either tacitly or in words—but with a slow melting, from something that was almost akin36 to cruelty into something that was very much akin to good, honest tenderness. It was as the breaking of sunlight across some rugged42 rock where the shadow has hidden every possible path-way; when the sunlight came one could see that there was a way to ascend43. Judging with the dispassionateness of distance, I think that Harrod feared any such thing as feeling. Life was a straightforward44 and not necessarily pleasant road, which must be travelled doggedly45, without pausing by the way, without stopping to think if there were any means by which it might be made more agreeable. Life was all work for Trayton Harrod.
And as a natural consequence, if he had any feelings he instinctively46 avoided dwelling47 on the fact; therefore he mistrusted any expression of them in others. He was cruel, but if he was cruel to others he was also cruel to himself.
That evening, however, the sunshine broke out across the rock. It melted the last morsel48 of pride in me. He turned away his eyes again without a word, after that long, half-amused, half-reproachful, and wholly kind look. It puzzled me a little, and yet it gave me courage.
"I think I'm in a very bad temper to-day," said I, with a little awkward laugh. "I think I was very rude to you just now."
"Rude!" echoed he, turning to me quickly. "Why, when were you rude?"
"Just now, about the hops and everything."
He laughed aloud, quite merrily. "Good gracious! surely we are good friends enough to stand a sharp word or two," cried he.
I was silent. Harrod walked very fast, and talking was difficult. When he reached the top of the hill he held out his hand, and said, in a cheerful, matter-of-fact voice, "Good-night; I must be getting along to Widow Dawes as fast as I can."
I stood watching him as he ran down the slope. At any other time I should have been just as much excited as he was about the breakage of the pipes, but that night there was a dull emptiness about things for which I had no reason.
The west was still clouded, and in the plains the struggling rays of the sinking sun made golden spray of the mists that the rain had left; but to the eastward49 the sky was clear of showers.
The mill was quite still, its warning arms were silent; it stood white upon the flaxen slope, where the short grass was burned to chaff50 by the rare summer heat—white and huge against the twilight blue. Behind it—slowly, slowly out of the blue sea—rose the golden August moon.
I turned my back to the clouds and faced the golden moon.
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1
upbraid
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| v.斥责，责骂，责备 | |
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upbraided
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| v.责备，申斥，谴责( upbraid的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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3
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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fickle
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| adj.(爱情或友谊上)易变的，不坚定的 | |
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squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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arrogance
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| n.傲慢，自大 | |
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moody
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| adj.心情不稳的，易怒的，喜怒无常的 | |
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8
parched
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| adj.焦干的；极渴的；v.（使）焦干 | |
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hops
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| 跳上[下]( hop的第三人称单数 )； 单足蹦跳； 齐足（或双足）跳行； 摘葎草花 | |
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10
garnered
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| v.收集并（通常）贮藏（某物），取得，获得( garner的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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ridge
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| n.山脊；鼻梁；分水岭 | |
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13
soothed
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| v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦 | |
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14
unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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15
twig
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| n.小树枝，嫩枝；v.理解 | |
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pettishly
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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19
knuckling
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| n.突球v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的现在分词 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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reproof
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| n.斥责，责备 | |
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stoutly
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| adv.牢固地，粗壮的 | |
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obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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crest
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| n.顶点；饰章；羽冠；vt.达到顶点；vi.形成浪尖 | |
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rheumatism
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| n.风湿病 | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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28
growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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testily
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| adv. 易怒地, 暴躁地 | |
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mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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brittle
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| adj.易碎的；脆弱的；冷淡的；(声音)尖利的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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softening
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| 变软，软化 | |
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twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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tuned
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| adj.调谐的，已调谐的v.调音( tune的过去式和过去分词 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调 | |
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akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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40
delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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41
isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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42
rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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43
ascend
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| vi.渐渐上升，升高；vt.攀登，登上 | |
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44
straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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45
doggedly
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| adv.顽强地，固执地 | |
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46
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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47
dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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48
morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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49
eastward
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| adv.向东；adj.向东的；n.东方，东部 | |
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50
chaff
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| v.取笑，嘲笑；n.谷壳 | |
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