It seemed to the Marquis that he felt Caroline's arm trembling as it rested on his own; but she replied, with sincerity3 and resolution, "No, I did not know that it was to-day."
"If I speak to you at all about this," he resumed, "it is only because I know my mother and my brother have kept you informed of this fine project. I have never talked with you about it myself; it was not worth while."
"Then you thought that I would not be interested in your happiness?"
"My happiness! How can it be in the hands of a lady I do not know? And you, my friend, how can you speak so,—you who know me?"
"Then I will say the happiness of your mother,—since that depends upon this marriage."
"O, that is another matter," replied M. de Villemer, quickly. "Shall we rest a moment on this seat, and while we are alone here will you let me talk a little about my position?"
They seated themselves. "You will not be cold?" continued the Marquis, wrapping the folds of Caroline's mantle4 around her.
"No, and you?"
"O, as for me, my health is robust5 now, thanks to you, and that is why they think seriously of making me the head of a family of my own. It is a happiness which I do not need so much as they suppose. There are already children in the world that one loves,—just as you love those of your sister! But let us pass that over and suppose that I really dream of descendants in a long line. You understand that I do not hold to this as a point of family pride; you know my ideas about nobility; they are not precisely6 those of the people around me. Unfortunately for the people around me, I cannot change in this regard; it no longer depends upon myself."
"I know that," replied Mlle de Saint-Geneix, "but your heart is too comprehensive not to long after the warmest and holiest affections of life."
"Suppose all that you please in that respect," replied the Marquis, "and then understand that the choice of the mother of my children is the most important affair of my life. Well, then, this great transaction, this sacred choice, do you think any one else could attend to it in my place? Do you admit that even my excellent mother can wake up some morning and say, 'There is in society a young lady, whose name is illustrious and whose fortune is large, and who is to be the wife of my son, because my friends and I consider the match advantageous7 and proper? My son does not know her, but no matter! Perhaps she will not please him at all; perhaps he will displease8 her as much; no matter again! It would please my eldest9 son, my friend the duchess, and all those who frequent my little drawing-room. My son must be unnatural10 if he does not sacrifice his repugnance11 to this fancy. And if Mlle de Xaintrailles should think of such a thing as not calling him perfect, she will be no longer worthy12 of the name she bears!' You see plainly, my friend, that all this is absurd, and I am astonished that you have taken it seriously for one moment."
Caroline struggled in vain against the inexpressible joy which this assurance caused her; but she quickly remembered all the Duke had said, and all that duty required her to say herself.
"You astonish me too," rejoined she. "Did you not promise your mother and your brother to see Mlle de Xaintrailles at the appointed time?"
"And so I shall see her this evening; it is an interview arranged in such a way as to appear accidental, and one which does not bind13 me in any respect."
"That is an evasion14 which I cannot admit in a conscience like that of the Marquis de Villemer. You have passed your word that you will do your best toward recognizing the merit of this person, and making her appreciate yours."
"O, I ask nothing better than to do my best in that direction," replied the Marquis, with so merry and winning a laugh that Caroline was dazzled by the look he fixed15 upon her.
"Then you are making light of your mother's wishes?" resumed she, arming herself with all her reserve of resistance; "I never would have believed you capable of that."
"No, no, I am not, indeed," replied M. de Villemer, recovering his seriousness. "When they exacted this promise from me I did not laugh, I assure you. I was in deep sorrow and seriously ill; I felt myself dying, and I thought my heart was already dead. I yielded to tender and cruel persuasions16, in the hope that they would let me die in peace; but I have been recalled, my friend; I have taken a new lease of life; I feel myself full of youth again, and of the future. Love is astir within me, like the sap in this great tree; yes, love,—that is, faith, strength, a sense of my immortal17 being, which I must account for to God, and not to human prejudice. I will be happy in my own way; I will live, and I will not marry unless I can love with my whole soul!
"Do not tell me," continued he, without giving Caroline time to reply, "that I have other duties in opposition18 to this. I am not a weak, irresolute19 man. I am not satisfied with words consecrated20 by usage, and I do not propose to become the slave and the victim of ambitious chimeras21. My mother desires to recover our wealth! She is at fault in that. Her true happiness and her true glory are in having renounced22 it all to save her eldest son. She is richer now—since I have arranged for her support at the price of nearly all I have left—than she was ten years ago, submitting with terror to a doubtful situation, and one which she believed must grow worse. See, then, if I have not done for her all that I could do! I have certain strong opinions, the fruit of the study and thought of my whole life. I have held them in silence. I have suffered terribly from griefs which she has never suspected. I have been in real torture from my own heart, and I have spared her the pain of seeing my agony. I have even suffered at her hands and have never complained. Have I not seen, from childhood, that she had an irresistible23 preference for my brother, and did I not know, besides, that she thought this due to the oldest and most highly titled of her sons? I have conquered the vexation of this wound, and when my brother at last permitted me to love him, I did love him devotedly24; but before that time how many secret affronts25 and bitter jests I have brooked26 from him, and from my mother too, in league with him against the seriousness of my thought and life! I bore them no ill-will for this; I understood their mistakes and prejudices; but without knowing it, they did me much harm.
"In the midst of so many vexations, only one thing could tempt27 a solitary28 man like me,—the glory of letters. I felt within me a certain fire, an impulse towards the beautiful, which might draw around me manifold sympathies. I saw that this glory would wound my mother in her beliefs, and I determined29 to keep the most strict incognito30, that the paternity of my work might not even be suspected. You alone, you only in the whole world, have been intrusted with a secret which is never to be disclosed. I will not add, during my mother's lifetime, for I have a horror of these mental reservations, these parricidal31 schemes, which seem like calling death down upon those whom we ought to love better than ourselves. I have said 'never' in this matter, so as never to entertain the idea of any state of things in which a personal gratification could lessen32 my grief at losing my mother."
"Very well! in all this, I like you as much as I admire you," replied Mlle de Saint-Geneix; "but it strikes me, that with respect to your marriage, it can all be arranged as it ought, with due regard to your own wishes and to those of your family. Since they say that Mlle de Xaintrailles is entirely33 worthy of you, why, at the moment of assuring yourself of this, do you say beforehand that it is neither possible nor probable! This is where I do not comprehend you at all, and where I doubt if you have any serious or respectable reasons that I could be brought to accept."
Caroline spoke34 with a decision which at once changed the resolution of the Marquis. He was on the point of opening his heart to her at all hazards; he had felt himself guided onward35 by a glimmer36 of hope, of which she had now deprived him, and he became sad, and seemingly quite overcome.
"Well, you see," resumed she, "you can find no answer to this."
"You are not wrong," said he; "I had no right to tell you that I should certainly be indifferent to Mlle de Xaintrailles. I know it myself; but you cannot be a judge of the secret reasons that give me this certainty. Let us say no more about her. I expect you to be thoroughly37 convinced of my independence and clear conscience in this matter. I would not have a thought like this remaining in your mind, M. de Villemer is to marry for money, for position, and for a name. O my friend, never believe that of me, I beg of you. To fall so low in your esteem38 would be a punishment which I have not merited through any fault, by any wrong against you or against my family. I expect, likewise, that you will not reproach me, if I should happen to find myself obliged openly to oppose my mother's wishes with regard to my marriage. I have felt it my duty to tell you all that justifies39 me in a pretended eccentricity40. Be so good as to absolve41 me beforehand if, sooner or later, I have to show her and my brother that I will give them my blood, my life, my last franc and even my honor, if need be, but not my moral freedom, not my truth to myself. No, never! These are my own, these are the only possessions I reserve, for they come from God, and man has no claim upon them."
As he spoke thus, the Marquis laid his hand upon his heart with a forcible pressure. His face, at once energetic and charming, expressed his enthusiastic faith. Caroline, bewildered, was afraid of having understood aright and yet equally afraid lest she might have deceived herself; but what mattered that which, thus against her will, passed in her mind? She must pretend not to suppose that the Marquis could ever think of her. She had great courage and invincible42 pride. She answered that it was not for her to decide upon the future: but that, for her own part, she had loved her father so much that she would have sacrificed her own heart even, if, by a complete renunciation of herself, she could have prolonged his life. "Take care," said she with spirit, "whatever you may decide upon to-day or afterward43, always remember this; that when beloved parents are no more, all that we might have done to render their lives longer or happier will come before us with terrible eloquence44. The slightest short-coming then assumes enormous proportions; and there will never be a moment of peace or happiness for one who, even while using all his rightful freedom, gains the memory of having seriously grieved a mother who is no more."
The Marquis pressed Caroline's hand silently and convulsively; she had hurt him deeply, for she had spoken the truth.
She rose, and he conducted her to the carriage again. "Be content," said he, breaking the silence as he was about leaving her. "I will never openly wound my mother. Pray for me, that I may have eloquence to convince her when the time comes. If I do not succeed—Well, what is that to you? It will be so much the worse for me."
He flung the address to the coachman and disappeared.
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1
boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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cedar
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| n.雪松，香柏(木) | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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mantle
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| n.斗篷，覆罩之物，罩子；v.罩住，覆盖，脸红 | |
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robust
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| adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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advantageous
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| adj.有利的；有帮助的 | |
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8
displease
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| vt.使不高兴，惹怒；n.不悦，不满，生气 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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repugnance
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| n.嫌恶 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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evasion
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| n.逃避，偷漏(税) | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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persuasions
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| n.劝说，说服（力）( persuasion的名词复数 )；信仰 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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irresolute
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| adj.无决断的，优柔寡断的，踌躇不定的 | |
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consecrated
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| adj.神圣的，被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣，给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 )；奉献 | |
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chimeras
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| n.（由几种动物的各部分构成的）假想的怪兽( chimera的名词复数 )；不可能实现的想法；幻想；妄想 | |
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22
renounced
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| v.声明放弃( renounce的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布放弃；宣布与…决裂；宣布摒弃 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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devotedly
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| 专心地； 恩爱地； 忠实地； 一心一意地 | |
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affronts
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| n.（当众）侮辱，（故意）冒犯( affront的名词复数 )v.勇敢地面对( affront的第三人称单数 )；相遇 | |
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brooked
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| 容忍，忍受（brook的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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tempt
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| vt.引诱，勾引，吸引，引起…的兴趣 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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incognito
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| adv.匿名地；n.隐姓埋名；adj.化装的，用假名的，隐匿姓名身份的 | |
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parricidal
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| adj.杀父母的，杀长上者 | |
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lessen
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| vt.减少，减轻；缩小 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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onward
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| adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先 | |
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glimmer
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| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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39
justifies
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| 证明…有理( justify的第三人称单数 )； 为…辩护； 对…作出解释； 为…辩解（或辩护） | |
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eccentricity
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| n.古怪，反常，怪癖 | |
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41
absolve
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| v.赦免，解除（责任等） | |
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42
invincible
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| adj.不可征服的，难以制服的 | |
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43
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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44
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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