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CHAPTER XXXI THE TUNE OF LOVE
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 PAUL had gone on bravely with his life. He knew that when Sara had gone out of his studio into the summer night she had taken something away with her, the something that was the best part of himself. But with what remained to him he had set himself to face the lonely months ahead of him. Each morning as he woke he told himself that he would work for her. It was the only thing that made work possible to him.
 
His joy in art had been sufficient for him until he met her. Her coming had increased it ten-thousandfold, as it had increased his whole joy in life and in beauty, giving it a meaning he had never before realized. And when she went she had taken it away, leaving him with nothing but the husk.
 
In spite of his courage, loneliness at times seemed as if it must overwhelm him, for now it was unlike his former loneliness. Before, he had not known what it was to have the perfect companionship of a woman. Now he had known it and lost it. And the years before him stretched very grey. He tried to see a gleam of gold in the future, but it was too far off for him to perceive it by sight; he could only tell himself in faith that one day it would dawn through the greyness. But however strong the spirit may be to have faith, the flesh after all is human and weak, and his loneliness pressed hard upon him. During the last weeks, too, he had had only one commission—an uninteresting one, which he had nevertheless accepted. He would now, as he had said, have painted anyone however commonplace. But the work had not taken him in any degree out of himself.
 
On the afternoon of the fourteenth of October he was sitting alone in his studio. It had been a bad day for him—one of the days that come to all artists when hand and brain alike refuse to work, when inspiration is lacking, and it seems as if her light had departed for ever.
 
He looked round the room. There was rather a neglected appearance about it. He had given up his man as an extravagance he could not possibly afford, and he was on the look-out for a tenant1 for his studio, meaning to move into something much smaller. Yet, in spite of the neglected look of the studio, Paul himself was as well groomed2 as ever. Personal cleanliness was an ingrained characteristic of him. It belonged to him as much as it belonged to the French aristocrats3 who manicured their nails while waiting in the Bastille for the tumbrils that would take them to the scaffold and the embrace of the guillotine.
 
After a time he got up from his chair, and taking the kettle from the stove, he made some tea. As he did so he thought of the many times Sara had had tea with him since the day in Battersea Park.
 
Everything he did or thought reminded him of her. The tiniest and most trivial details recalled her—even a thing as insignificant4 as the crack in the table. He remembered seeing her run her finger along it one day when she had been sitting in the chair opposite to him, which chair was now empty. The tea-cups reminded him. He had bought them specially5 for her. Before that he had only possessed6 two cracked ones and a tumbler. Even one of the cracked ones was precious, because from it she had drunk a cup of coffee the day Pippa had lunched with him and he had decided7 to re-paint her dress.
 
“My God!” said Paul to himself, “joy was so near me, and now I must pass, at the best, years of my life alone.”
 
He looked across at the vases on the bookshelf. They had never held flowers since the day thirteen weeks ago when they had been full of crimson8 roses. They and the blue vase on the mantelpiece, to the colour of which Pippa had likened Sara, were covered with dust. Paul felt suddenly as if, in spite of his efforts, dust were settling on his heart.
 
And then all at once he heard a slight sound. It was a woman’s step in the courtyard. Paul caught hold of the arm of his chair and gripped it hard. His face had gone quite white.
 
The door opened.
 
“Paul,” said a voice.
 
The next moment she was in his arms and he was sobbing9 like a child.
 
“Don’t, dear heart, don’t,” said Sara, her voice shaking.
 
He put her in a chair and sat down by the table.
 
“You shouldn’t have come,” he said brokenly.
 
She went over to him and knelt beside him.
 
“But, dearest, listen,” she said, taking both his hands, “I have come to tell you of joy.”
 
Paul stared at her half bewildered. “What do you mean?” he said.
 
“Listen,” she said. “It’s all so wonderful I can hardly believe it myself. But it’s all true—true—true!”
 
“Tell me, quickly,” said Paul, putting his arms round her.
 
And as many weeks ago he had had to tell her bad news, so she now told him news of joy. She told him everything, all Miss Mason’s quaint10 and excellent reasons for their acceptance of this happiness with no thought of false pride to intervene.
 
“You will accept, Paul?” said Sara, as she finished.
 
Again the man’s eyes were full of tears. “Beloved, I must. My love for you would sweep away all pride. But I think with a gift offered in that [Pg 303]way one need have none. My God, it’s wonderful!”
 
And so she still knelt beside him, and he held her in a kind of dumb ecstasy11, as if he feared to move and find it was only a dream. And the music of the Heart which had long held such a throb12 of pain now rose loud and glorious, filling the whole studio.
 
“Beloved,” said Paul at last, “let us go together and find Aunt Olive.”
 
So they went out into the purple dusk, in which a light wind was scattering13 the last few golden leaves from the trees, letting them float gently to the courtyard.
 
And the little faun saw them coming, and the tune14 he played to welcome them was the sweetest, purest Tune of Love.
 

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1 tenant 0pbwd     
n.承租人;房客;佃户;v.租借,租用
参考例句:
  • The tenant was dispossessed for not paying his rent.那名房客因未付房租而被赶走。
  • The tenant is responsible for all repairs to the building.租户负责对房屋的所有修理。
2 groomed 90b6d4f06c2c2c35b205c60916ba1a14     
v.照料或梳洗(马等)( groom的过去式和过去分词 );使做好准备;训练;(给动物)擦洗
参考例句:
  • She is always perfectly groomed. 她总是打扮得干净利落。
  • Duff is being groomed for the job of manager. 达夫正接受训练,准备当经理。 来自《简明英汉词典》
3 aristocrats 45f57328b4cffd28a78c031f142ec347     
n.贵族( aristocrat的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • Many aristocrats were killed in the French Revolution. 许多贵族在法国大革命中被处死。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • To the Guillotine all aristocrats! 把全部贵族都送上断头台! 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
4 insignificant k6Mx1     
adj.无关紧要的,可忽略的,无意义的
参考例句:
  • In winter the effect was found to be insignificant.在冬季,这种作用是不明显的。
  • This problem was insignificant compared to others she faced.这一问题与她面临的其他问题比较起来算不得什么。
5 specially Hviwq     
adv.特定地;特殊地;明确地
参考例句:
  • They are specially packaged so that they stack easily.它们经过特别包装以便于堆放。
  • The machine was designed specially for demolishing old buildings.这种机器是专为拆毁旧楼房而设计的。
6 possessed xuyyQ     
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的
参考例句:
  • He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
  • He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。
7 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
8 crimson AYwzH     
n./adj.深(绯)红色(的);vi.脸变绯红色
参考例句:
  • She went crimson with embarrassment.她羞得满脸通红。
  • Maple leaves have turned crimson.枫叶已经红了。
9 sobbing df75b14f92e64fc9e1d7eaf6dcfc083a     
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的
参考例句:
  • I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
  • Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。
10 quaint 7tqy2     
adj.古雅的,离奇有趣的,奇怪的
参考例句:
  • There were many small lanes in the quaint village.在这古香古色的村庄里,有很多小巷。
  • They still keep some quaint old customs.他们仍然保留着一些稀奇古怪的旧风俗。
11 ecstasy 9kJzY     
n.狂喜,心醉神怡,入迷
参考例句:
  • He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
  • Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具,高兴得说不出话来。
12 throb aIrzV     
v.震颤,颤动;(急速强烈地)跳动,搏动
参考例句:
  • She felt her heart give a great throb.她感到自己的心怦地跳了一下。
  • The drums seemed to throb in his ears.阵阵鼓声彷佛在他耳边震响。
13 scattering 91b52389e84f945a976e96cd577a4e0c     
n.[物]散射;散乱,分散;在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的;分散在不同范围的;广泛扩散的;(选票)数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式);散布;驱散
参考例句:
  • The child felle into a rage and began scattering its toys about. 这孩子突发狂怒,把玩具扔得满地都是。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The farmers are scattering seed. 农夫们在播种。 来自《简明英汉词典》
14 tune NmnwW     
n.调子;和谐,协调;v.调音,调节,调整
参考例句:
  • He'd written a tune,and played it to us on the piano.他写了一段曲子,并在钢琴上弹给我们听。
  • The boy beat out a tune on a tin can.那男孩在易拉罐上敲出一首曲子。


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