Mention of Betty and her Bible in the same breath reminds me that lately she has talked to me almost solely24 on secular25 matters. This is not as it used to be. When first I came to her, by a process of manœuvring and meandering26 peculiar27 to herself she always managed to steer28 her conversation into religious channels, and the direct way she had of pointing the moral was always original and characteristic. It is not because I have discouraged her or shown any indifference29 that she has lapsed30 in this matter; and it would appear that, as our intimacy31 has ripened32, and as our topics of conversation have become more personal, she has meantime allowed the mundane33 to prevail, with a view to taking up the more serious and essential at a more convenient season.
I wasn't surprised, therefore, when, to-day, after Dr Grierson had visited Nathan in the back-room, she asked him in an off-hand, matter-of-fact way what he thought of yesterday's sermon.
The doctor was fumbling34 in his pocket for his old clay, and in an absent, abstracted tone of voice he informed her that, as he hadn't been to church, he wasn't in a position to pass any judgment35.
'Ay, ye werena at the kirk? I micht ha'e kenned36 that,' she said. 'Imphm! I'm no' a deid auld37 woman, doctor,' she continued; 'but I mind o' your faither efter he left Dumfries an' cam' to bide38 wi' ye here, an' he was a regular attender at the kirk. It's a great pity when folks break off kin15'. Ay, that it is! Imphm! An', doctor, you'll excuse me, it's mebbe nae business o' mine; but I canna help tellin' ye that I often think aboot ye, an' that ye lie heavy on my mind. We've seen a great deal o' ye lately, mair than we ever saw before, and I've proved to mysel' what ithers said o' ye, an' what I had aye ta'en for granted. It's a' in your favour, an' what ye've dune39 for the puir God will no' forget when ye're bein' weighed in the balance.'
'Thank you, Betty,' the doctor said, as he struck a light.
'Ay, but haud on; I havena dune wi' ye. I havena come to the point. As I've said, ye've come a great deal in an' oot among us lately, an' in a temporal sense ye've been a great comfort and help to Maister Weelum here. Oh that ye had been able to influence him spiritually, for since he cam' he's never darkened a kirk door. I've held my tongue, as sae far there's been an excuse for him; but noo that he's gettin' better an' able to gang aboot, I juist think that oot o' respect for you, if ye had been kirk-minded, he could easily ha'e been guided Zionward.'
I had the feeling that Betty was rushing in where angels fear to tread; and, not knowing how the doctor was likely to take this, I became very uncomfortable. He puffed40 spasmodically at his pipe and moved uneasily in his chair. 'It is very kind of you, Betty, to think of me,' he said—'very kind indeed; and you must not count it none of your business to bring such matters before me. In a way we are all each other's keepers, and it would be churlish of me to resent such interest as you show. For my own part, I live my life according to my light, such as it is. It may be a poor, flickering41 light to other eyes, but it is sufficient to show me the road. As for William here, he has long ago reached man's estate, and he can judge of these matters for himself. If I mistake not, he has a standard of his own, and I feel sure my influence, even though I were kirk-minded, as you call it, would not direct his steps in the direction you indicate.'
'Oh doctor, dinna say that! We can a' be made humble42 instruments. Example is a great thing, though ye dinna follow your faither's, an' I ken2 what a power for guid ye wad be if the grace o' God was in ye. Oh doctor, I've been he'rt sorry for ye mony a time, for I ken the grief ye've carried, an' I've wondered hoo ye could thole it sae lang a' by yoursel', an' that ye never accepted the consolation43 which He alone can gi'e ye. But ye've spurned44 it, doctor. I don't think that ye're a joined member o' the kirk or that ye gang to the Communion—you that's sic a man i' the toon—everybody's body as you are, an' born wi' a sma'er dose o' original sin than ony yin I ken o'. I juist canna understan' it.'
The doctor laughed good-humouredly. 'I've my work to attend to, you know, Betty. My patients cannot be neglected for the sake of'——
'If your work permitted, wad ye gang to the kirk, doctor?'
'I—I question if I would.'
'That's an honest admission, an' it wadna come frae Dr Grierson if it wasna. An' what's your objection, doctor?'
'Oh, well, Betty, your question opens up a big, debatable subject on which I have great reluctance45 to enter. I have neither the time nor the inclination46, Betty; but this much I will say, we are all heirs to a heritage of different distresses47 in this life, and as we are not all constituted alike we require different treatment. Now there is one great panacea48, one great balm, for all our wounds. Some find that panacea in their church, though many go to church who are not aware they require a panacea. Others, of whom I am one, find a balm for their afflictions in communing with the nature of God's creation we see around us. With such it isn't necessary to go to church in order to feel God's presence or to experience His beneficent power. If it were, we could only commune with Him once a week, when the churches are open. As it is, I can praise Him at all times, and glorify49 His name under the canopy50 of His heavens, and among the trees and flowers and fields and woods, which evidence His fostering care and proclaim His loving-kindness.'
'Then, doctor, ye do believe in God?'
A pained look crept into the doctor's eyes. 'Betty,' he said, 'you surely have never doubted that?'
'Weel, wi' you no' gaun to the kirk, an''——
'Ah, Betty, it is possible for a man to go to church and remain in doubt; but no one can stand, as I often do, under the starry51 firmament52, alone in the midst of slumbering53 nature, or facing the glowing east when the shafts54 of the sun's morning beams are piercing the shadowy sky, and not feel within himself that God reigneth, and the earth in consequence rejoices.'
'Grand! Man, doctor, I'm glad to hear ye say that! I'm—I'm rale glad.'
There was a wee bit catch in Betty's voice, and a tear trickled55 down her cheek, which she tried to wipe away unnoticed with a corner of her apron56. But the doctor saw, and his face twitched57 and softened58.
'Then, doctor,' she continued, 'of course ye'll believe in the Bible?'
'Yes—with reservations.'
'Which means, doctor?'
'Well, Betty, it means that——Wait now, I want to make it easy for you to understand; but unfortunately, by doing so, it makes it all the more difficult for me to explain. Well, in a word, Betty, it means there are parts of it I believe, and there are others I cannot.'
'Ay, pairts ye believe an' pairts ye canna believe. I notice ye say ye canna believe; ye don't say ye will not believe. There's a difference, doctor, ye ken. Why do ye say ye canna?'
'Because I have thought out things very carefully, very anxiously, and I cannot entertain what does not appeal to my reason. I must discard what I think is wrong.'
'But, doctor, man, ye maunna exercise your ain judgment. It's human; consequently it's weak. What ye want is faith—the faith which can remove mountains, the faith which sustains. Doctor, ye must put aside your ain vain imaginin's an' thochts, an' become as a little child. Ay, juist as a little child.'
'Yes, Betty, I thought you would say that. But you know I am not a little child. I am a man, a responsible, thinking being, endowed by God with a reasoning faculty59 which is calculated to guide me, and which, Betty, I am expected to exercise. I cannot accept anything temporal which is diametrically opposed or contrary to my judgment, nor would I in the discharge of my professional duties follow a course or accept a condition which my intellect and discernment told me was wrong. Why, then, should I, in this the greatest of all questions, be expected to lay reason aside and acquiesce60 in blind belief? No, Betty, I cannot do that. If I did I shouldn't be true to myself.'
'But, doctor, wi' due respect, let me tell ye that cleverer men than you have thocht these things oot for themselves an' have been satisfied wi' the Word as it is delivered. Think o' the Reformers an' a' oor professors, men who have studied theology a' their days, an''——
'And after all their study, what do they know, what have they gleaned61 from all their books? I cannot be guided even by professors. They know as much or as little of God's workings as the man who sweeps our village street. Now, Betty, further than this I cannot and will not go with you. As I have said, it is a big, debatable subject, and we might talk till doomsday and not agree even then. Besides, it is a very dangerous thing to tamper62 with any one's belief, especially if that belief affords a solace in trials and constitutes an anchor in the storm. You have got something within you which calms your fears, and gives you a peace which nothing else can. Stick to it, Betty, and guard it against assault. And I—well, Betty, I also have something within me which gives me peace, such peace as would remain with me even if to-night I was called upon to turn my face to the wall. Ah, Betty, each and every one has a faith. The world has never been without one, and it will have one to the end. But my conviction is we haven't often enough taken stock of our faith, and the consequence is it has become detached from and out of sympathy with our workaday lives. What a different world it would be if we were living our religion instead of professing63 it! Some say this is impossible. Well, it ought to be made possible, and the best way of going about it would be to strip religion of all that binds64 it to impossible, out-of-date dogmas, clear it of all that confounds and mystifies, and nail as a motto to its mast-head these glorious words of the great Master, "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." Betty, the time is at hand when the Church will be forced to consider this text—ay, and to act upon it; and when that day dawns it will herald65 the Millennium66.'
A strange hush67 had fallen upon the room while the doctor was speaking, and when he ceased it lingered with us like a benediction68. Then Betty walked quietly over to the window. 'Doctor,' she said, after a pause, 'd'ye think, at the last, everybody will be—eh—a' richt?'
'Well, Betty, the question often occurs to me. When the boundlessness69 of God's love comes home to me I think it is possible. There is a verse, the thirteenth of the twenty-first chapter of the Revelation, which'——
At that moment a knock came to the door, and Betty slipped out. In her absence the doctor smoked in silence, and I watched the fire glowing in the grate.
'Doctor,' she said, as she re-entered, 'that's the grocer's boy. Somebody telt him ye were here, and he wants to ken if the bottle o' port wine ye ordered is for Mrs Lawson o' Gillhead or auld Widow Lawson?'
'Oh, it is for Widow Lawson,' he replied, and the semblance70 of a blush spread over his face. He rose hurriedly, adjusted his plaid, and picked up his hat.
I put my hand on his arm as he passed me. 'Doctor,' I said, 'your good deeds are finding you out;' and he shook his head, and smiled as if he didn't understand me, but he made no reply.
Betty came into my room later with her Bible in her hand. 'I've been lookin' up that verse in the Revelation,' she said, 'an' it reads: "On the east three gates, on the north three gates, on the south three gates, and on the west three gates." Ay—imphm! I never saw the maitter in that licht before.—Weel, I trust there may be a gate for me, Maister Weelum; an'—an' somewey I'm sure noo there's yin for the doctor.'
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1
adaptability
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| n.适应性 | |
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2
ken
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| n.视野，知识领域 | |
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3
interpretation
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| n.解释，说明，描述；艺术处理 | |
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4
derived
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| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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5
veneer
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| n.(墙上的)饰面，虚饰 | |
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6
solace
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| n.安慰；v.使快乐；vt.安慰(物)，缓和 | |
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7
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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8
mellowed
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| （使）成熟( mellow的过去式和过去分词 )； 使色彩更加柔和，使酒更加醇香 | |
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9
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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10
sterling
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| adj.英币的(纯粹的，货真价实的)；n.英国货币(英镑) | |
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11
homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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12
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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13
meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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14
medley
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| n.混合 | |
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15
kin
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| n.家族，亲属，血缘关系；adj.亲属关系的，同类的 | |
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16
weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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17
preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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18
deferring
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| v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的现在分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
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19
bolster
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| n.枕垫；v.支持，鼓励 | |
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20
solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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21
boredom
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| n.厌烦，厌倦，乏味，无聊 | |
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22
dreariness
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| 沉寂，可怕，凄凉 | |
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23
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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24
solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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25
secular
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| n.牧师，凡人；adj.世俗的，现世的，不朽的 | |
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26
meandering
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| 蜿蜒的河流，漫步，聊天 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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28
steer
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| vt.驾驶，为…操舵；引导；vi.驾驶 | |
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29
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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30
lapsed
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| adj.流失的，堕落的v.退步( lapse的过去式和过去分词 )；陷入；倒退；丧失 | |
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31
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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32
ripened
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| v.成熟，使熟( ripen的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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33
mundane
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| adj.平凡的；尘世的；宇宙的 | |
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34
fumbling
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| n. 摸索,漏接 v. 摸索,摸弄,笨拙的处理 | |
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35
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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36
kenned
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| v.知道( ken的过去式和过去分词 )；懂得；看到；认出 | |
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37
auld
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| adj.老的，旧的 | |
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38
bide
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| v.忍耐；等候；住 | |
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39
dune
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| n.(由风吹积而成的)沙丘 | |
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40
puffed
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| adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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41
flickering
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| adj.闪烁的，摇曳的，一闪一闪的 | |
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42
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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43
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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44
spurned
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| v.一脚踢开，拒绝接受( spurn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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45
reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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46
inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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47
distresses
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| n.悲痛( distress的名词复数 )；痛苦；贫困；危险 | |
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48
panacea
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| n.万灵药；治百病的灵药 | |
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49
glorify
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| vt.颂扬，赞美，使增光，美化 | |
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50
canopy
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| n.天篷，遮篷 | |
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51
starry
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| adj.星光照耀的, 闪亮的 | |
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52
firmament
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| n.苍穹；最高层 | |
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53
slumbering
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| 微睡，睡眠（slumber的现在分词形式） | |
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54
shafts
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| n.轴( shaft的名词复数 )；（箭、高尔夫球棒等的）杆；通风井；一阵（疼痛、害怕等） | |
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55
trickled
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| v.滴( trickle的过去式和过去分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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56
apron
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| n.围裙；工作裙 | |
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57
twitched
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| vt.& vi.（使）抽动，（使）颤动（twitch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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58
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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59
faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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60
acquiesce
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| vi.默许，顺从，同意 | |
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61
gleaned
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| v.一点点地收集（资料、事实）( glean的过去式和过去分词 )；（收割后）拾穗 | |
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62
tamper
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| v.干预，玩弄，贿赂，窜改，削弱，损害 | |
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63
professing
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| 声称( profess的现在分词 )； 宣称； 公开表明； 信奉 | |
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64
binds
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| v.约束( bind的第三人称单数 )；装订；捆绑；（用长布条）缠绕 | |
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65
herald
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| vt.预示...的来临，预告，宣布，欢迎 | |
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66
millennium
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| n.一千年，千禧年；太平盛世 | |
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67
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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68
benediction
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| n.祝福；恩赐 | |
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69
boundlessness
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| 海阔天空 | |
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70
semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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