And remember with a shiver
Man is governed by his liver;
Spoil life's dolce far niente.
Suffers soon from indigestion;
The corner-stone of dissipation
Is to act with moderation."
When the sceptre of the Cæsars passed into the hands of St. Peter and his successors, it carried with it among other fixtures--to use a legal expression--the art of giving a good dinner. The clergy5 have, therefore, always been famous for their attention to creature comforts, and among the various arts which they rescued from the wreck6 of the classic world, the art of dining is certainly one of which they were most careful.
In England the fat abbots and portly monks7 of the past have been transmuted8, through the agency of that royal magician, Henry VIII, into the comfortable bishops9 and delectable10 vicars of the present; but the change is actually only in the Thirty-nine Articles, and the science of gastronomy11 still has its wisest savants among the clergy.
It is true that some ascetics12, wishing to return to the bosom13 of the Romish Church, have denied themselves all dainties in favour of lentils and pulse; but, unlike Daniel and his friends, they are no fairer for doing so; yet the general run of curates (provided they are well paid), rectors, vicars, deans, bishops, yea, even archbishops, are worthy14 successors to the clerical gourmands15 of the Middle Ages so satirised by Rabelais, and are as careful of their cellars and kitchens as of their churches and parishioners.
Mr. Clendon, dry-as-dust grubber among ancient folios as he was, by no means neglected the substance for the shadow, and satisfied his brain, his stomach, and his palate in equal measure--the former by means of choice editions, the latter by choice viands; but, truth to tell, he to all appearances throve more on the library than on the kitchen.
The number of guests at dinner, according to some gastronomical17 worthy, should never be less than the three Graces nor greater than the nine Muses18, so Vicar Clendon had taken this sage19 advice by limiting the friends assembled round his hospitable20 board to eight people, the sexes being in equal numbers, i.e. four of the one and four of the other.
The host took in Mrs. Valpy. A most admirable arrangement, as both were fond of their victuals21, and thought eating preferable to talking, especially when the cook was a good one, as happened in this case.
Mr. Gelthrip escorted Mrs. Belswin. Fire and water! Sweet and sour! Black and white! Two galley22 slaves chained together against their will could not have been less suited than the clergyman and the companion were to one another. Good-breeding forbade either resenting the juxtaposition23, so they had smiles on their faces and rage in their hearts at being thus coupled so unsuitably by their Amphitryon.
The engaged ones, of course, went dining-room-wards together--a good omen24 of the future, in the eyes of both, hinting that they would thus wander side by side towards the good things of this life.
Archie was squire25 to Kaituna. Ecstasy26! Rapture27! Bliss28! Ah, how poor a language is English when required to express the joy of two lovers coming together for a whole evening, who have not expected Fate or Cupid or Mother Venus to be so kind.
Out of compliment to the month of roses, Vicar Clendon gave his guests a distinctly pink dinner, which was a novelty, both as regards viands, wines, and artistic29 arrangements. In the centre of the white tablecloth30 there was an oval, shaped of moist-looking emerald moss31, filled with loose rose-leaves, from the midst of which sprang rich clusters of the flower in red, in white, and in yellow, set off here and there by masses of green leaves. No intrusive32 epergne to hide the faces of the guests from one another, but a tiny fountain shooting up a silver thread that fell again in diamond spray over the odorous blossoms below--rose-wreaths for the white bosoms33 of the ladies, rose bouquets34 with entanglements35 of delicate maiden-hair fern for the men, and on imitation rose-leaf menus the names of the dishes in purple ink. Viands for the most part rose-tinted by an artistic cook, and as for wines, there was claret deeply red, port amethystine37 in tint36, sparkling burgundy of rosy38 hues39, and from the roof roseate light suffused40 from a red-shaded lamp. The whole prevailing41 tint of this unique meal was the rose-red of dawn, and Parson Clendon, smiling benignly42 from the head of the table, felt that he had achieved a distinct success in the way of originality43, a thing to be proud of in this century of used-up ideas.
"The Romans," observed the vicar, discursively44, by way of providing a subject of conversation, "the Romans would have enjoyed a meal served up in this fashion."
"You are thinking of Vitellius," asserted Mr. Gelthrip, in a dictatorial46 manner.
Mr. Gelthrip, not being sufficiently48 learned either in French or gastronomy to appreciate the subtlety49 of this remark, wisely held his tongue and went on with his soup.
"If we were like the Romans, father, we should be crowned with garlands of roses," said Toby, in order to keep the ball of conversation rolling.
"Instead of which we wear the roses in our buttonholes," added Archie, gaily50; "not so graceful51, perhaps, but more comfortable."
"Ah, we're not at all classic," observed the host, regretfully; "dining with Lucullus we should have reclined."
"Which is where you generally have it," interposed Mrs. Valpy, reprovingly.
"Ah!" said Toby, with a world of meaning in his tone, "I am afraid you have not studied one Dr. Watts53----"
"The early to bed man, you mean," cried Mrs. Belswin. "Horrible! I never could see the use of his cut-and-dried little proverbs."
She said this so tartly56 that Clendon père was afraid of the probable rejoinder of his curate, so made the first remark that came into his mind apropos57 of nothing in particular.
"Our conversation is like that of Praed's vicar, very discursive45; we began with the Romans, we end with Dr. Watts."
"Not their dining, surely," observed Kaituna.
"No," whispered Archie, literally59 sub rosa, for she wore a half-opened bud in her dark hair, "because you would not have been present. The nineteenth century, with all its faults, has one great virtue60; it allows us to dine with you."
Kaituna laughed in a pretty confused manner, whereupon Mrs. Belswin flashed her glorious dark eyes sympathetically on the pair, for she was now quite in favour of this, to all appearances, imprudent marriage. Reasons two. First, the young couple loved one another devotedly61, which appealed to her womanly and maternal62 instincts. Second, the match would be objected to by Sir Rupert, which pleased the revengeful part of her nature. With these two excellent reasons she was very satisfied, so smiled kindly63 on the lovers.
"Burgundy, sir?"
"Thank you, Mrs. Belswin."
That lady bowed cordially to her host and touched the rim64 of her glass lightly with her lips. It is not now customary for gentlemen to drink healths with the opposite sex at dinner, but 'tis an old-fashioned custom, and therefore found favour with the vicar, lover of all things antique, as he was.
"Drink to me only with thine eyes."
"A most excellent sentiment, Tobias," said his father, with a waggish65 smile; "but we are not all so happily placed as you, my son."
"Every dog has its day, father."
"I am not married, sir," responded that gentleman, stiffly.
"Nor is he likely to be," whispered Archie to his neighbour. "How lucky--for the possible Mrs. Gelthrip."
"Even I?"
"Yes, I suppose so."
"Oh! you are not certain?"
"How can I be certain? You do not wear your heart on your sleeve."
"Do I not?"
Kaituna was somewhat taken aback at this direct way of putting it, and, not feeling inclined to reply in the only way in which she could do so, looked round for a mode of escape from the pertinacity68 of her companion. Help came from the vicar.
"Miss Pethram, I understand your father is coming home again."
"Yes, Mr. Clendon; I am pleased to say he is."
"Ah, no doubt! no doubt! Well, I can tell him you have been in safe hands," responded the vicar, bowing to Mrs. Belswin, who acknowledged the compliment with a somewhat doubtful smile.
"You have never seen Sir Rupert?" asked Toby, politely.
Mrs. Belswin started, drew her handkerchief--a flimsy feminine thing of lace and cambric--across her dry lips, and laughed in an embarrassed fashion as she replied--
"No, I have not seen him; but, of course, Kaituna has told me all about him."
"Ah!" said the vicar, eyeing the rosy bubbles flashing in his glass, "I remember Rupert Pethram very well before he went out to New Zealand. He was a gay, light-hearted boy; but now, alas69! tempora mutantur et nos mutamur in illis."
"I can't fancy my father ever having been gay and light-hearted," cried Kaituna, doubtfully. "Ever since I can remember him he has been so grave and solemn."
"Trouble! trouble!" sighed the vicar; "it changes us all."
Mrs. Belswin, affecting to arrange the wreath at her breast, darted70 a lightning glance at the old man from under her long lashes71.
"I wonder if Rupert told you anything," she thought, rapidly. "Bah! what do I care if he did? This fool can do me no harm. There is only one man I'm afraid of meeting--Rupert Pethram himself. Well, perhaps I shall not need to meet him."
She smiled cruelly as she thought of the harm she proposed to do her unfortunate husband, and listened idly to Mr. Gelthrip, who was holding forth72 in his usual dogmatic style on the good which a moneyed man like Sir Rupert could do to the parish of Deswarth.
"I hope, Miss Pethram," he said, turning to Kaituna, "that you will urge upon your father the advisability of throwing open the picture gallery at Thornstream to the villagers, in order to encourage a taste for art."
"But they know nothing about art. The Illustrated73 London News and the Graphic74 form their idea of pictures."
"They can learn, Mr. Clendon; they can learn," replied the curate, easily. "I should like them to appreciate the old masters."
"Egad, it's a thing I could never do," cried Toby, flippantly. "I much prefer the modern painters."
"You are a Philistine75, sir."
"Humph!" said Toby, under his breath, "and this Samson is slaughtering76 me with the jawbone of an ass4."
"Very little," said Archie, slily; "all chords and no melody."
"I don't quite understand you," remarked Tommy, addressing Mr. Gelthrip with a demure78 smile. "You believe in Doctor Watts and Richard Wagner. Isn't it rather difficult to reconcile the two things?"
"Not at all, Miss Valpy. Wagner is understandable by the meanest mind."
"Meaning himself," whispered Archie, with a laugh.
"The fact is," observed Mr. Clendon, with mock solemnity, "that when my worthy friend can get our labourers to descant79 learnedly on Claude Lorraine, Michael Angelo, and Titian, read and appreciate George Meredith's novels--of whom, Tobias, I have heard you speak--and understand the advanced school of music, of which I myself know nothing, he will have accomplished80 his life's work."
"It would be a worthy career for a man," said Gelthrip, energetically.
"So I think," remarked Mrs. Belswin, dryly; "but if you make all your labourers so learned, Mr. Gelthrip, I'm afraid they won't do much work. Instead of hedging and ditching, they will take to admiring the sunsets."
"Or comparing the latest novelist's description of Nature to the disadvantage of the real thing."
Mr. Gelthrip bore all this sarcasm82 with equanimity83, smiling benignly all the time. He was an enthusiast84 on the subject, and had a hide impervious85 to shafts86 of ridicule87, however skilfully88 launched. His scheme was simple. Sir Rupert had plenty of money, and, judging from his daughter's description, seemed to be philanthropically inclined. Mr. Gelthrip had full power in the parish--as his superior was too much taken up with the middle ages to pay attention to the nineteenth century--so he determined89, with the aid of Sir Rupert's money and his own brains, to make Deswarth a model village in the matter of culture and high art. As to religion--well, Mr. Gelthrip was a clergyman, and thought he could mingle90 religion and high art together so as to make them palatable91 to his children-of-nature parishioners. Meanwhile his ideas stood in this order: culture, high art, religion. Alas for the possible model parish and the souls of its occupants!
This, however, is talk of futurity; but at present, the ladies, headed by Mrs. Valpy, retired92, leaving the four gentlemen to their wine.
"Tobias!" said his father, benevolently--a man must feel benevolent93 with a glass of '34 port in his hand. "Tobias, to the health of your bride."
"Thank you, father," replied Toby, gratefully, touching94 his lips with the glass. "Archie! to the future Mrs. Maxwell."
"Ah! Ah!" remarked the old gentleman, smiling. "Has it gone as far as that?"
"Not yet, sir."
"I'll bet," whispered Toby, looking at him gravely, "that you'll have something to say to me to-night over a pipe."
"I speak," said Clendon fils, "I speak from experience, having proposed and been accepted."
"I can do the first, but what about the second?"
"Faint heart," remarked Toby, judiciously97, "never won fair lady."
"Then I'll take your advice this very night," said Archie, desperately98.
"I am," remarked Toby, as he lifted his glass, "a prophet in a small way. Old boy, your hand. To the health of our double marriage--and no heeltaps."
Archie finished his glass.
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收听单词发音
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1
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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2
viands
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| n.食品，食物 | |
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3
shuns
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| v.避开，回避，避免( shun的第三人称单数 ) | |
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4
ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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5
clergy
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| n.[总称]牧师，神职人员 | |
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6
wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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7
monks
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| n.修道士，僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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transmuted
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| v.使变形，使变质，把…变成…( transmute的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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9
bishops
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| （基督教某些教派管辖大教区的）主教( bishop的名词复数 )； （国际象棋的）象 | |
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10
delectable
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| adj.使人愉快的；美味的 | |
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11
gastronomy
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| n.美食法；美食学 | |
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12
ascetics
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| n.苦行者，禁欲者，禁欲主义者( ascetic的名词复数 ) | |
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13
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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14
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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15
gourmands
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| n.喜欢吃喝的人，贪吃的人( gourmand的名词复数 )；美食主义 | |
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16
gourmand
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| n.嗜食者 | |
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gastronomical
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| adj.美食法的，美食学的 | |
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18
muses
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的第三人称单数 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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19
sage
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| n.圣人，哲人；adj.贤明的，明智的 | |
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20
hospitable
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| adj.好客的；宽容的；有利的，适宜的 | |
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21
victuals
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| n.食物；食品 | |
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22
galley
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| n.（飞机或船上的）厨房单层甲板大帆船；军舰舰长用的大划艇； | |
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23
juxtaposition
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| n.毗邻，并置，并列 | |
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24
omen
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| n.征兆，预兆；vt.预示 | |
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squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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26
ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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27
rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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28
bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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29
artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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30
tablecloth
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| n.桌布，台布 | |
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31
moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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32
intrusive
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| adj.打搅的；侵扰的 | |
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33
bosoms
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| 胸部( bosom的名词复数 )； 胸怀； 女衣胸部（或胸襟）； 和爱护自己的人在一起的情形 | |
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34
bouquets
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| n.花束( bouquet的名词复数 )；（酒的）芳香 | |
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35
entanglements
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| n.瓜葛( entanglement的名词复数 )；牵连；纠缠；缠住 | |
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36
tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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amethystine
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| adj.紫水晶质的，紫色的；紫晶 | |
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38
rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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39
hues
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| 色彩( hue的名词复数 )； 色调； 信仰； 观点 | |
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suffused
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| v.（指颜色、水气等）弥漫于，布满( suffuse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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41
prevailing
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| adj.盛行的；占优势的；主要的 | |
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benignly
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| adv.仁慈地，亲切地 | |
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43
originality
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| n.创造力，独创性；新颖 | |
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44
discursively
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| adv.东拉西扯地，推论地 | |
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discursive
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| adj.离题的，无层次的 | |
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46
dictatorial
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| adj. 独裁的，专断的 | |
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gourmet
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| n.食物品尝家；adj.出于美食家之手的 | |
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48
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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subtlety
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| n.微妙，敏锐，精巧；微妙之处，细微的区别 | |
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50
gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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51
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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52
saucily
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| adv.傲慢地，莽撞地 | |
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53
watts
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| （电力计量单位）瓦，瓦特( watt的名词复数 ) | |
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54
edifying
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| adj.有教训意味的，教训性的，有益的v.开导，启发( edify的现在分词 ) | |
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55
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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56
tartly
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| adv.辛辣地，刻薄地 | |
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57
apropos
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| adv.恰好地；adj.恰当的；关于 | |
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58
sipping
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| v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的现在分词 ) | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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60
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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61
devotedly
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| 专心地； 恩爱地； 忠实地； 一心一意地 | |
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62
maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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rim
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| n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界 | |
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65
waggish
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| adj.诙谐的，滑稽的 | |
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66
ego
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| n.自我，自己，自尊 | |
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67
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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68
pertinacity
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| n.执拗，顽固 | |
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69
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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70
darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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71
lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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72
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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73
illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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graphic
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| adj.生动的，形象的，绘画的，文字的，图表的 | |
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philistine
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| n.庸俗的人；adj.市侩的，庸俗的 | |
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slaughtering
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| v.屠杀，杀戮，屠宰( slaughter的现在分词 ) | |
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eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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demure
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| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
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descant
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| v.详论，絮说；n.高音部 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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lark
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| n.云雀，百灵鸟；n.嬉戏，玩笑；vi.嬉戏 | |
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sarcasm
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| n.讥讽，讽刺，嘲弄，反话 （adj.sarcastic） | |
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equanimity
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| n.沉着，镇定 | |
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enthusiast
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| n.热心人，热衷者 | |
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impervious
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| adj.不能渗透的，不能穿过的，不易伤害的 | |
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shafts
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| n.轴( shaft的名词复数 )；（箭、高尔夫球棒等的）杆；通风井；一阵（疼痛、害怕等） | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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skilfully
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| adv. (美skillfully)熟练地 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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mingle
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| vt.使混合，使相混；vi.混合起来；相交往 | |
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palatable
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| adj.可口的，美味的；惬意的 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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ingenuous
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| adj.纯朴的，单纯的；天真的；坦率的 | |
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faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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judiciously
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| adv.明断地，明智而审慎地 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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