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Mr. Stratton to his Son 1
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 I want very much to set down my thoughts and my experiences of life. I want to do so now that I have come to middle age and now that my attitudes are all defined and my personal drama worked out I feel that the toil1 of writing and reconsideration may help to clear and fix many things that remain a little uncertain in my thoughts because they have never been fully2 stated, and I want to discover any lurking3 inconsistencies and unsuspected gaps. And I have a story. I have lived through things that have searched me. I want to tell that story as well as I can while I am still a clear-headed and active man, and while many details that may presently become blurred4 and altered are still rawly fresh in my mind. And to one person in particular do I wish to think I am writing, and that is to you, my only son. I want to write my story not indeed to the child you are now, but to the man you are going to be. You are half my blood and temperamentally altogether mine. A day will come when you will realize this, and want to know how life has gone with me, and then it may be altogether too late for me to answer your enquiries. I may have become inaccessible5 as old people are sometimes inaccessible. And so I think of leaving this book for you—at any rate, I shall write it as if I meant to leave it for you. Afterwards I can consider whether I will indeed leave it....
 
The idea of writing such a book as this came to me first as I sat by the dead body of your grandfather—my father. It was because I wanted so greatly such a book from him that I am now writing this. He died, you must know, only a few months ago, and I went to his house to bury him and settle all his affairs.
 
At one time he had been my greatest friend. He had never indeed talked to me about himself or his youth, but he had always showed an extraordinary sympathy and helpfulness for me in all the confusion and perplexities into which I fell. This did not last to the end of his life. I was the child of his middle years, and suddenly, in a year or less, the curtains of age and infirmity fell between us. There came an illness, an operation, and he rose from it ailing6, suffering, dwarfed7 and altogether changed. Of all the dark shadows upon life I think that change through illness and organic decay in the thoughts and spirits of those who are dear and close to us is the most evil and distressing8 and inexplicable9. Suddenly he was a changeling, a being querulous and pitiful, needing indulgence and sacrifices.
 
In a little while a new state of affairs was established. I ceased to consider him as a man to whom one told things, of whom one could expect help or advice. We all ceased to consider him at all in that way. We humored him, put pleasant things before him, concealed10 whatever was disagreeable. A poor old man he was indeed in those concluding years, weakly rebellious11 against the firm kindliness12 of my cousin, his housekeeper13 and nurse. He who had once been so alert was now at times astonishingly apathetic14. At times an impish malice15 I had never known in him before gleamed in little acts and speeches. His talk rambled16, and for the most part was concerned with small, long-forgotten contentions17. It was indistinct and difficult to follow because of a recent loss of teeth, and he craved18 for brandy, to restore even for a moment the sense of strength and well-being19 that ebbed20 and ebbed away from him. So that when I came to look at his dead face at last, it was with something like amazement21 I perceived him grave and beautiful—more grave and beautiful than he had been even in the fullness of life.
 
All the estrangement22 of the final years was wiped in an instant from my mind as I looked upon his face. There came back a rush of memories, of kind, strong, patient, human aspects of his fatherhood. And I remembered as every son must remember—even you, my dear, will some day remember because it is in the very nature of sonship—insubordinations, struggles, ingratitudes, great benefits taken unthankfully, slights and disregards. It was not remorse23 I felt, nor repentance24, but a tremendous regret that so things had happened and that life should be so. Why is it, I thought, that when a son has come to manhood he cannot take his father for a friend? I had a curious sense of unprecedented25 communion as I stood beside him now. I felt that he understood my thoughts; his face seemed to answer with an expression of still and sympathetic patience.
 
I was sensible of amazing gaps. We had never talked together of love, never of religion.
 
All sorts of things that a man of twenty-eight would not dream of hiding from a coeval26 he had hidden from me. For some days I had to remain in his house, I had to go through his papers, handle all those intimate personal things that accumulate around a human being year by year—letters, yellowing scraps27 of newspaper, tokens, relics28 kept, accidental vestiges29, significant litter. I learnt many things I had never dreamt of. At times I doubted whether I was not prying30, whether I ought not to risk the loss of those necessary legal facts I sought, and burn these papers unread. There were love letters, and many such touching31 things.
 
My memories of him did not change because of these new lights, but they became wonderfully illuminated32. I realized him as a young man, I began to see him as a boy. I found a little half-bound botanical book with stencil-tinted illustrations, a good-conduct prize my father had won at his preparatory school; a rolled-up sheet of paper, carbonized and dry and brittle33, revealed itself as a piece of specimen34 writing, stiff with boyish effort, decorated in ambitious and faltering35 flourishes and still betraying the pencil rulings his rubber should have erased36. Already your writing is better than that. And I found a daguerreotype37 portrait of him in knickerbockers against a photographer's stile. His face then was not unlike yours. I stood with that in my hand at the little bureau in his bedroom, and looked at his dead face.
 
 
The flatly painted portrait of his father, my grandfather, hanging there in the stillness above the coffin38, looking out on the world he had left with steady, humorous blue eyes that followed one about the room,—that, too, was revivified, touched into reality and participation39 by this and that, became a living presence at a conference of lives. Things of his were there also in that life's accumulation....
 
There we were, three Strattons together, and down in the dining-room were steel engravings to take us back two generations further, and we had all lived full lives, suffered, attempted, signified. I had a glimpse of the long successions of mankind. What a huge inaccessible lumber-room of thought and experience we amounted to, I thought; how much we are, how little we transmit. Each one of us was but a variation, an experiment upon the Stratton theme. All that I had now under my hands was but the merest hints and vestiges, moving and surprising indeed, but casual and fragmentary, of those obliterated40 repetitions. Man is a creature becoming articulate, and why should those men have left so much of the tale untold—to be lost and forgotten? Why must we all repeat things done, and come again very bitterly to wisdom our fathers have achieved before us? My grandfather there should have left me something better than the still enigma41 of his watching face. All my life so far has gone in learning very painfully what many men have learnt before me; I have spent the greater part of forty years in finding a sort of purpose for the uncertain and declining decades that remain. Is it not time the generations drew together and helped one another? Cannot we begin now to make a better use of the experiences of life so that our sons may not waste themselves so much, cannot we gather into books that men may read in an hour or so the gist42 of these confused and multitudinous realities of the individual career? Surely the time is coming for that, when a new private literature will exist, and fathers and mothers behind their rôles of rulers, protectors, and supporters, will prepare frank and intimate records of their thought and their feeling, told as one tells things to equals, without authority or reserves or discretions, so that, they being dead, their children may rediscover them as contemporaries and friends.
 
That desire for self-expression is indeed already almost an instinct with many of us. Man is disposed to create a traditional wisdom. For me this book I contemplate43 is a need. I am just a year and a half from a bitter tragedy and the loss of a friend as dear as life to me. It is very constantly in my mind. She opened her mind to me as few people open their minds to anyone. In a way, little Stephen, she died for you. And I am so placed that I have no one to talk to quite freely about her. The one other person to whom I talk, I cannot talk to about her; it is strange, seeing how we love and trust one another, but so it is; you will understand that the better as this story unfolds. For eight long years before the crisis that culminated44 in her tragic45 death I never saw her; yet, quite apart from the shock and distresses46 of that time, it has left me extraordinarily47 lonely and desolate48.
 
And there was a kind of dreadful splendor49 in that last act of hers, which has taken a great hold upon my imagination; it has interwoven with everything else in my mind, it bears now upon every question. I cannot get away from it, while it is thus pent from utterance50.... Perhaps having written this to you I may never show it you or leave it for you to see. But yet I must write it. Of all conceivable persons you, when you have grown to manhood, are the most likely to understand.

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1 toil WJezp     
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事
参考例句:
  • The wealth comes from the toil of the masses.财富来自大众的辛勤劳动。
  • Every single grain is the result of toil.每一粒粮食都来之不易。
2 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
参考例句:
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
3 lurking 332fb85b4d0f64d0e0d1ef0d34ebcbe7     
潜在
参考例句:
  • Why are you lurking around outside my house? 你在我房子外面鬼鬼祟祟的,想干什么?
  • There is a suspicious man lurking in the shadows. 有一可疑的人躲在阴暗中。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
4 blurred blurred     
v.(使)变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 );(使)难以区分;模模糊糊;迷离
参考例句:
  • She suffered from dizziness and blurred vision. 她饱受头晕目眩之苦。
  • Their lazy, blurred voices fell pleasantly on his ears. 他们那种慢吞吞、含糊不清的声音在他听起来却很悦耳。 来自《简明英汉词典》
5 inaccessible 49Nx8     
adj.达不到的,难接近的
参考例句:
  • This novel seems to me among the most inaccessible.这本书对我来说是最难懂的小说之一。
  • The top of Mount Everest is the most inaccessible place in the world.珠穆朗玛峰是世界上最难到达的地方。
6 ailing XzzzbA     
v.生病
参考例句:
  • They discussed the problems ailing the steel industry. 他们讨论了困扰钢铁工业的问题。
  • She looked after her ailing father. 她照顾有病的父亲。
7 dwarfed cf071ea166e87f1dffbae9401a9e8953     
vt.(使)显得矮小(dwarf的过去式与过去分词形式)
参考例句:
  • The old houses were dwarfed by the huge new tower blocks. 这些旧房子在新建的高楼大厦的映衬下显得十分矮小。
  • The elephant dwarfed the tortoise. 那只乌龟跟那头象相比就显得很小。 来自《简明英汉词典》
8 distressing cuTz30     
a.使人痛苦的
参考例句:
  • All who saw the distressing scene revolted against it. 所有看到这种悲惨景象的人都对此感到难过。
  • It is distressing to see food being wasted like this. 这样浪费粮食令人痛心。
9 inexplicable tbCzf     
adj.无法解释的,难理解的
参考例句:
  • It is now inexplicable how that development was misinterpreted.当时对这一事态发展的错误理解究竟是怎么产生的,现在已经无法说清楚了。
  • There are many things which are inexplicable by science.有很多事科学还无法解释。
10 concealed 0v3zxG     
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的
参考例句:
  • The paintings were concealed beneath a thick layer of plaster. 那些画被隐藏在厚厚的灰泥层下面。
  • I think he had a gun concealed about his person. 我认为他当时身上藏有一支枪。
11 rebellious CtbyI     
adj.造反的,反抗的,难控制的
参考例句:
  • They will be in danger if they are rebellious.如果他们造反,他们就要发生危险。
  • Her reply was mild enough,but her thoughts were rebellious.她的回答虽然很温和,但她的心里十分反感。
12 kindliness 2133e1da2ddf0309b4a22d6f5022476b     
n.厚道,亲切,友好的行为
参考例句:
  • Martha looked up into a strange face and dark eyes alight with kindliness and concern. 马撒慢慢抬起头,映入眼帘的是张陌生的脸,脸上有一双充满慈爱和关注的眼睛。 来自辞典例句
  • I think the chief thing that struck me about Burton was his kindliness. 我想,我对伯顿印象最深之处主要还是这个人的和善。 来自辞典例句
13 housekeeper 6q2zxl     
n.管理家务的主妇,女管家
参考例句:
  • A spotless stove told us that his mother is a diligent housekeeper.炉子清洁无瑕就表明他母亲是个勤劳的主妇。
  • She is an economical housekeeper and feeds her family cheaply.她节约持家,一家人吃得很省。
14 apathetic 4M1y0     
adj.冷漠的,无动于衷的
参考例句:
  • I realised I was becoming increasingly depressed and apathetic.我意识到自己越来越消沉、越来越冷漠了。
  • You won't succeed if you are apathetic.要是你冷淡,你就不能成功。
15 malice P8LzW     
n.恶意,怨恨,蓄意;[律]预谋
参考例句:
  • I detected a suggestion of malice in his remarks.我觉察出他说的话略带恶意。
  • There was a strong current of malice in many of his portraits.他的许多肖像画中都透着一股强烈的怨恨。
16 rambled f9968757e060a59ff2ab1825c2706de5     
(无目的地)漫游( ramble的过去式和过去分词 ); (喻)漫谈; 扯淡; 长篇大论
参考例句:
  • We rambled through the woods. 我们漫步走过树林。
  • She rambled on at great length but she didn't get to the heart of the matter. 她夹七夹八地说了许多话也没说到点子上。
17 contentions 8e5be9e0da735e6c66757d2c55b30896     
n.竞争( contention的名词复数 );争夺;争论;论点
参考例句:
  • Direct tests on individual particles do not support these contentions. 对单个粒子所作的直接试验并不支持这些论点。 来自辞典例句
  • His contentions cannot be laughed out of court. 对他的争辩不能一笑置之。 来自辞典例句
18 craved e690825cc0ddd1a25d222b7a89ee7595     
渴望,热望( crave的过去式 ); 恳求,请求
参考例句:
  • She has always craved excitement. 她总渴望刺激。
  • A spicy, sharp-tasting radish was exactly what her stomach craved. 她正馋着想吃一个香甜可口的红萝卜呢。
19 well-being Fe3zbn     
n.安康,安乐,幸福
参考例句:
  • He always has the well-being of the masses at heart.他总是把群众的疾苦挂在心上。
  • My concern for their well-being was misunderstood as interference.我关心他们的幸福,却被误解为多管闲事。
20 ebbed d477fde4638480e786d6ea4ac2341679     
(指潮水)退( ebb的过去式和过去分词 ); 落; 减少; 衰落
参考例句:
  • But the pain had ebbed away and the trembling had stopped. 不过这次痛已减退,寒战也停止了。
  • But gradually his interest in good causes ebbed away. 不过后来他对这类事业兴趣也逐渐淡薄了。
21 amazement 7zlzBK     
n.惊奇,惊讶
参考例句:
  • All those around him looked at him with amazement.周围的人都对他投射出惊异的眼光。
  • He looked at me in blank amazement.他带着迷茫惊诧的神情望着我。
22 estrangement 5nWxt     
n.疏远,失和,不和
参考例句:
  • a period of estrangement from his wife 他与妻子分居期间
  • The quarrel led to a complete estrangement between her and her family. 这一争吵使她同家人完全疏远了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
23 remorse lBrzo     
n.痛恨,悔恨,自责
参考例句:
  • She had no remorse about what she had said.她对所说的话不后悔。
  • He has shown no remorse for his actions.他对自己的行为没有任何悔恨之意。
24 repentance ZCnyS     
n.懊悔
参考例句:
  • He shows no repentance for what he has done.他对他的所作所为一点也不懊悔。
  • Christ is inviting sinners to repentance.基督正在敦请有罪的人悔悟。
25 unprecedented 7gSyJ     
adj.无前例的,新奇的
参考例句:
  • The air crash caused an unprecedented number of deaths.这次空难的死亡人数是空前的。
  • A flood of this sort is really unprecedented.这样大的洪水真是十年九不遇。
26 coeval EWAy8     
adj.同时代的;n.同时代的人或事物
参考例句:
  • Analysis has proved that this document is coeval with that one.这份文件经分析证明与那一份是同一个时代的。
  • He believes that cooking and humanity are coeval.他相信烹饪和人类是同时代的。
27 scraps 737e4017931b7285cdd1fa3eb9dd77a3     
油渣
参考例句:
  • Don't litter up the floor with scraps of paper. 不要在地板上乱扔纸屑。
  • A patchwork quilt is a good way of using up scraps of material. 做杂拼花布棉被是利用零碎布料的好办法。
28 relics UkMzSr     
[pl.]n.遗物,遗迹,遗产;遗体,尸骸
参考例句:
  • The area is a treasure house of archaeological relics. 这个地区是古文物遗迹的宝库。
  • Xi'an is an ancient city full of treasures and saintly relics. 西安是一个有很多宝藏和神圣的遗物的古老城市。
29 vestiges abe7c965ff1797742478ada5aece0ed3     
残余部分( vestige的名词复数 ); 遗迹; 痕迹; 毫不
参考例句:
  • the last vestiges of the old colonial regime 旧殖民制度最后的残余
  • These upright stones are the vestiges of some ancient religion. 这些竖立的石头是某种古代宗教的遗迹。
30 prying a63afacc70963cb0fda72f623793f578     
adj.爱打听的v.打听,刺探(他人的私事)( pry的现在分词 );撬开
参考例句:
  • I'm sick of you prying into my personal life! 我讨厌你刺探我的私生活!
  • She is always prying into other people's affairs. 她总是打听别人的私事。 来自《简明英汉词典》
31 touching sg6zQ9     
adj.动人的,使人感伤的
参考例句:
  • It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。
  • His letter was touching.他的信很感人。
32 illuminated 98b351e9bc282af85e83e767e5ec76b8     
adj.被照明的;受启迪的
参考例句:
  • Floodlights illuminated the stadium. 泛光灯照亮了体育场。
  • the illuminated city at night 夜幕中万家灯火的城市
33 brittle IWizN     
adj.易碎的;脆弱的;冷淡的;(声音)尖利的
参考例句:
  • The pond was covered in a brittle layer of ice.池塘覆盖了一层易碎的冰。
  • She gave a brittle laugh.她冷淡地笑了笑。
34 specimen Xvtwm     
n.样本,标本
参考例句:
  • You'll need tweezers to hold up the specimen.你要用镊子来夹这标本。
  • This specimen is richly variegated in colour.这件标本上有很多颜色。
35 faltering b25bbdc0788288f819b6e8b06c0a6496     
犹豫的,支吾的,蹒跚的
参考例句:
  • The economy shows no signs of faltering. 经济没有衰退的迹象。
  • I canfeel my legs faltering. 我感到我的腿在颤抖。
36 erased f4adee3fff79c6ddad5b2e45f730006a     
v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 );抹去;清除
参考例句:
  • He erased the wrong answer and wrote in the right one. 他擦去了错误答案,写上了正确答案。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He removed the dogmatism from politics; he erased the party line. 他根除了政治中的教条主义,消除了政党界限。 来自《简明英汉词典》
37 daguerreotype Iywx1     
n.银板照相
参考例句:
  • The inventor of the daguerreotype is a French artist.银版照相的发明者是位法国艺术家。
  • The image was taken by louis daguerre who invented the daguerreotype-one of the earliest methods of photography.这张照片是由路易斯达盖尔拍摄,他发明了银版照相法-摄影的最早方法之一。
38 coffin XWRy7     
n.棺材,灵柩
参考例句:
  • When one's coffin is covered,all discussion about him can be settled.盖棺论定。
  • The coffin was placed in the grave.那口棺材已安放到坟墓里去了。
39 participation KS9zu     
n.参与,参加,分享
参考例句:
  • Some of the magic tricks called for audience participation.有些魔术要求有观众的参与。
  • The scheme aims to encourage increased participation in sporting activities.这个方案旨在鼓励大众更多地参与体育活动。
40 obliterated 5b21c854b61847047948152f774a0c94     
v.除去( obliterate的过去式和过去分词 );涂去;擦掉;彻底破坏或毁灭
参考例句:
  • The building was completely obliterated by the bomb. 炸弹把那座建筑物彻底摧毁了。
  • He began to drink, drank himself to intoxication, till he slept obliterated. 他一直喝,喝到他快要迷糊地睡着了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
41 enigma 68HyU     
n.谜,谜一样的人或事
参考例句:
  • I've known him for many years,but he remains something of an enigma to me.我与他相识多年,他仍然难以捉摸。
  • Even after all the testimonies,the murder remained a enigma.即使听完了所有的证词,这件谋杀案仍然是一个谜。
42 gist y6ayC     
n.要旨;梗概
参考例句:
  • Can you give me the gist of this report?你能告诉我这个报告的要点吗?
  • He is quick in grasping the gist of a book.他敏于了解书的要点。
43 contemplate PaXyl     
vt.盘算,计议;周密考虑;注视,凝视
参考例句:
  • The possibility of war is too horrifying to contemplate.战争的可能性太可怕了,真不堪细想。
  • The consequences would be too ghastly to contemplate.后果不堪设想。
44 culminated 2d1e3f978078666a2282742e3d1ca461     
v.达到极点( culminate的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • a gun battle which culminated in the death of two police officers 一场造成两名警察死亡的枪战
  • The gala culminated in a firework display. 晚会以大放烟火告终。 来自《简明英汉词典》
45 tragic inaw2     
adj.悲剧的,悲剧性的,悲惨的
参考例句:
  • The effect of the pollution on the beaches is absolutely tragic.污染海滩后果可悲。
  • Charles was a man doomed to tragic issues.查理是个注定不得善终的人。
46 distresses d55b1003849676d6eb49b5302f6714e5     
n.悲痛( distress的名词复数 );痛苦;贫困;危险
参考例句:
  • It was from these distresses that the peasant wars of the fourteenth century sprang. 正是由于这些灾难才爆发了十四世纪的农民战争。 来自辞典例句
  • In all dangers and distresses, I will remember that. 在一切危险和苦难中,我要记住这一件事。 来自互联网
47 extraordinarily Vlwxw     
adv.格外地;极端地
参考例句:
  • She is an extraordinarily beautiful girl.她是个美丽非凡的姑娘。
  • The sea was extraordinarily calm that morning.那天清晨,大海出奇地宁静。
48 desolate vmizO     
adj.荒凉的,荒芜的;孤独的,凄凉的;v.使荒芜,使孤寂
参考例句:
  • The city was burned into a desolate waste.那座城市被烧成一片废墟。
  • We all felt absolutely desolate when she left.她走后,我们都觉得万分孤寂。
49 splendor hriy0     
n.光彩;壮丽,华丽;显赫,辉煌
参考例句:
  • Never in his life had he gazed on such splendor.他生平从没有见过如此辉煌壮丽的场面。
  • All the splendor in the world is not worth a good friend.人世间所有的荣华富贵不如一个好朋友。
50 utterance dKczL     
n.用言语表达,话语,言语
参考例句:
  • This utterance of his was greeted with bursts of uproarious laughter.他的讲话引起阵阵哄然大笑。
  • My voice cleaves to my throat,and sob chokes my utterance.我的噪子哽咽,泣不成声。


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