III. A NEW POINT OF VIEW

 Katenka was with me in the britchka; her lovely head inclined as she gazed pensively¹ at the roadway. I looked at her in silence and wondered what had brought the unchildlike expression of sadness to her face which I now observed for the first time there.

 

“We shall soon be in Moscow,” I said at last. “How large do you suppose it is?”

 

“I don’t know,” she replied.

 

“Well, but how large do you IMAGINE? As large as Serpukhov?”

 

“What do you say?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Yet the instinctive² feeling which enables one person to guess the thoughts of another and serves as a guiding thread in conversation soon made Katenka feel that her indifference³ was disagreeable to me; wherefore she raised her head presently, and, turning round, said:

 

“Did your Papa tell you that we girls too were going to live at your Grandmamma’s?”

 

“Yes, he said that we should ALL live there.”

 

“ALL live there?”

 

“Yes, of course. We shall have one half of the upper floor, and you the other half, and Papa the wing; but we shall all of us dine together with Grandmamma downstairs.”

 

“But Mamma says that your Grandmamma is so very grave and so easily made angry?”

 

“No, she only SEEMS like that at first. She is grave, but not bad-tempered⁴. On the contrary, she is both kind and cheerful. If you could only have seen the ball at her house!”

 

“All the same, I am afraid of her. Besides, who knows whether we—”

 

Katenka stopped short, and once again became thoughtful.

 

“What?” I asked with some anxiety.

 

“Nothing, I only said that—”

 

“No. You said, ‘Who knows whether we—‘”

 

“And YOU said, didn’t you, that once there was ever such a ball at Grandmamma’s?”

 

“Yes. It is a pity you were not there. There were heaps of guests—about a thousand people, and all of them princes or generals, and there was music, and I danced—But, Katenka” I broke off, “you are not listening to me?”

 

“Oh yes, I am listening. You said that you danced—?”

 

“Why are you so serious?”

 

“Well, one cannot ALWAYS be gay.”

 

“But you have changed tremendously since Woloda and I first went to Moscow. Tell me the truth, now: why are you so odd?” My tone was resolute⁵.

 

“AM I so odd?” said Katenka with an animation⁶ which showed me that my question had interested her. “I don’t see that I am so at all.”

 

“Well, you are not the same as you were before,” I continued. “Once upon a time any one could see that you were our equal in everything, and that you loved us like relations, just as we did you; but now you are always serious, and keep yourself apart from us.”

 

“Oh, not at all.”

 

“But let me finish, please,” I interrupted, already conscious of a slight tickling⁷ in my nose—the precursor⁸ of the tears which usually came to my eyes whenever I had to vent⁹ any long pent-up feeling. “You avoid us, and talk to no one but Mimi, as though you had no wish for our further acquaintance.”

 

“But one cannot always remain the same—one must change a little sometimes,” replied Katenka, who had an inveterate¹⁰ habit of pleading some such fatalistic necessity whenever she did not know what else to say.

 

I recollect¹¹ that once, when having a quarrel with Lubotshka, who had called her “a stupid girl,” she (Katenka) retorted that EVERYBODY could not be wise, seeing that a certain number of stupid people was a necessity in the world. However, on the present occasion, I was not satisfied that any such inevitable¹² necessity for “changing sometimes” existed, and asked further:

 

“WHY is it necessary?”

 

“Well, you see, we MAY not always go on living together as we are doing now,” said Katenka, colouring slightly, and regarding Philip’s back with a grave expression on her face. “My Mamma was able to live with your mother because she was her friend; but will a similar arrangement always suit the Countess, who, they say, is so easily offended? Besides, in any case, we shall have to separate SOME day. You are rich—you have Petrovskoe, while we are poor—Mamma has nothing.”

 

“You are rich,” “we are poor”—both the words and the ideas which they connoted seemed to me extremely strange. Hitherto, I had conceived that only beggars and peasants were poor and could not reconcile in my mind the idea of poverty and the graceful¹³, charming Katenka. I felt that Mimi and her daughter ought to live with us ALWAYS and to share everything that we possessed¹⁴. Things ought never to be otherwise. Yet, at this moment, a thousand new thoughts with regard to their lonely position came crowding into my head, and I felt so remorseful¹⁵ at the notion that we were rich and they poor, that I coloured up and could not look Katenka in the face.

 

“Yet what does it matter,” I thought, “that we are well off and they are not? Why should that necessitate¹⁶ a separation? Why should we not share in common what we possess?” Yet, I had a feeling that I could not talk to Katenka on the subject, since a certain practical instinct, opposed to all logical reasoning, warned me that, right though she possibly was, I should do wrong to tell her so.

 

“It is impossible that you should leave us. How could we ever live apart?”

 

“Yet what else is there to be done? Certainly I do not WANT to do it; yet, if it HAS to be done, I know what my plan in life will be.”

 

“Yes, to become an actress! How absurd!” I exclaimed (for I knew that to enter that profession had always been her favourite dream).

 

“Oh no. I only used to say that when I was a little girl.”

 

“Well, then? What?”

 

“To go into a convent and live there. Then I could walk out in a black dress and velvet¹⁷ cap!” cried Katenka.

 

Has it ever befallen you, my readers, to become suddenly aware that your conception of things has altered—as though every object in life had unexpectedly turned a side towards you of which you had hitherto remained unaware¹⁸? Such a species of moral change occurred, as regards myself, during this journey, and therefore from it I date the beginning of my boyhood. For the first time in my life, I then envisaged¹⁹ the idea that we—i.e. our family—were not the only persons in the world; that not every conceivable interest was centred in ourselves; and that there existed numbers of people who had nothing in common with us, cared nothing for us, and even knew nothing of our existence. No doubt I had known all this before—only I had not known it then as I knew it now; I had never properly felt or understood it.

 

Thought merges²⁰ into conviction through paths of its own, as well as, sometimes, with great suddenness and by methods wholly different from those which have brought other intellects to the same conclusion. For me the conversation with Katenka—striking deeply as it did, and forcing me to reflect on her future position—constituted such a path. As I gazed at the towns and villages through which we passed, and in each house of which lived at least one family like our own, as well as at the women and children who stared with curiosity at our carriages and then became lost to sight for ever, and the peasants and workmen who did not even look at us, much less make us any obeisance²¹, the question arose for the first time in my thoughts, “Whom else do they care for if not for us?” And this question was followed by others, such as, “To what end do they live?” “How do they educate their children?” “Do they teach their children and let them play? What are their names?” and so forth²².

1 pensively   

adv.沉思地，焦虑地

参考例句：

• Garton pensively stirred the hotchpotch of his hair. 加顿沉思着搅动自己的乱发。 来自辞典例句
• "Oh, me,'said Carrie, pensively. "I wish I could live in such a place." “唉，真的，"嘉莉幽幽地说，"我真想住在那种房子里。” 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

2 instinctive   

adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的

参考例句：

• He tried to conceal his instinctive revulsion at the idea.他试图饰盖自己对这一想法本能的厌恶。
• Animals have an instinctive fear of fire.动物本能地怕火。

3 indifference   

n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎

参考例句：

• I was disappointed by his indifference more than somewhat.他的漠不关心使我很失望。
• He feigned indifference to criticism of his work.他假装毫不在意别人批评他的作品。

4 bad-tempered   

adj.脾气坏的

参考例句：

• He grew more and more bad-tempered as the afternoon wore on.随着下午一点点地过去，他的脾气也越来越坏。
• I know he's often bad-tempered but really,you know,he's got a heart of gold.我知道他经常发脾气，但是，要知道，其实他心肠很好。

5 resolute   

adj.坚决的，果敢的

参考例句：

• He was resolute in carrying out his plan.他坚决地实行他的计划。
• The Egyptians offered resolute resistance to the aggressors.埃及人对侵略者作出坚决的反抗。

6 animation   

n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作

参考例句：

• They are full of animation as they talked about their childhood.当他们谈及童年的往事时都非常兴奋。
• The animation of China made a great progress.中国的卡通片制作取得很大发展。

7 tickling   

反馈，回授，自旋挠痒法

参考例句：

• Was It'spring tickling her senses? 是不是春意撩人呢？
• Its origin is in tickling and rough-and-tumble play, he says. 他说，笑的起源来自于挠痒痒以及杂乱无章的游戏。

8 precursor   

n.先驱者；前辈；前任；预兆；先兆

参考例句：

• Error is often the precursor of what is correct.错误常常是正确的先导。
• He said that the deal should not be seen as a precursor to a merger.他说该笔交易不应该被看作是合并的前兆。

9 vent   

n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄

参考例句：

• He gave vent to his anger by swearing loudly.他高声咒骂以发泄他的愤怒。
• When the vent became plugged,the engine would stop.当通风口被堵塞时，发动机就会停转。

10 inveterate   

adj.积习已深的，根深蒂固的

参考例句：

• Hitler was not only an avid reader but also an inveterate underliner.希特勒不仅酷爱读书，还有写写划划的习惯。
• It is hard for an inveterate smoker to give up tobacco.要一位有多年烟瘾的烟民戒烟是困难的。

11 recollect   

v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得

参考例句：

• He tried to recollect things and drown himself in them.他极力回想过去的事情而沉浸于回忆之中。
• She could not recollect being there.她回想不起曾经到过那儿。

12 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

13 graceful   

adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的

参考例句：

• His movements on the parallel bars were very graceful.他的双杠动作可帅了!
• The ballet dancer is so graceful.芭蕾舞演员的姿态是如此的优美。

14 possessed   

adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的

参考例句：

• He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
• He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。

15 remorseful   

adj.悔恨的

参考例句：

• He represented to the court that the accused was very remorseful.他代被告向法庭陈情说被告十分懊悔。
• The minister well knew--subtle,but remorseful hypocrite that he was!牧师深知这一切——他是一个多么难以捉摸又懊悔不迭的伪君子啊！

16 necessitate   

v.使成为必要，需要

参考例句：

• Your proposal would necessitate changing our plans.你的提议可能使我们的计划必须变更。
• The conversion will necessitate the complete rebuilding of the interior.转变就必需完善内部重建。

17 velvet   

n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的

参考例句：

• This material feels like velvet.这料子摸起来像丝绒。
• The new settlers wore the finest silk and velvet clothing.新来的移民穿着最华丽的丝绸和天鹅绒衣服。

18 unaware   

a.不知道的，未意识到的

参考例句：

• They were unaware that war was near. 他们不知道战争即将爆发。
• I was unaware of the man's presence. 我没有察觉到那人在场。

19 envisaged   

想像，设想( envisage的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He envisaged an old age of loneliness and poverty. 他面对着一个孤独而贫困的晚年。
• Henry Ford envisaged an important future for the motor car. 亨利·福特为汽车设想了一个远大前程。

20 merges   

（使）混合( merge的第三人称单数 )； 相融； 融入； 渐渐消失在某物中

参考例句：

• The 2012 Nobel Prize in Literature was awarded to Mo Yan"who with hallucinatory realism merges folk tales, history and the contemporary". 2012年诺贝尔文学奖得主为莫言，他“很好地将魔幻现实与民间故事、历史与当代结合在一起”。
• A device that collates, merges, or matches sets of punched cards or other documents. 一种整理、合并或比较一组穿孔卡片或其它文档的设备。

21 obeisance   

n.鞠躬，敬礼

参考例句：

• He made obeisance to the king.他向国王表示臣服。
• While he was still young and strong all paid obeisance to him.他年轻力壮时所有人都对他毕恭毕敬。

22 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。