In mid-afternoon Paula obeyed an impulse to call upon Madame Nestor. She wanted to talk with the only human being in New York who could quite understand. Madame's room was west of Eighth Avenue in Forty-fourth Street—the servant's quarter in a squalid suite1, four flights up. The single window opened upon a dim shaft2, heavy with emanations from many kitchens. There was not even a closet. Madame's moulted plumage was hung upon the back of the outer and only door. Books were everywhere, on the floor, in boxes, on the cot.
"My dear Paula, you felt the need of me?... I should have come to you. This does very well for me, but I dislike my poverty to be known, dear. It is not that I am the least proud, but the psychic3 effects of pity are depressing."
"Please, Madame Nestor, don't think of me pitying anybody! I did feel the need of you. The day has been horrible. But first, I want to tell you that I am very sorry for what I said—when you were in my rooms the other day——"
The elder woman leaned forward and kissed Paula's dress at the shoulder. There was something sweet and mild and devotional in the action, something suggestive of a wise old working-bee pausing an instant to caress4 its queen.
"Yes. It came over me quite irresistibly6. I could not have been altogether myself.... I think I shall leave the city!"
Madame Nestor asked several questions, bringing out all she cared to know of Paula's experience that day. Her eyes became very bright as she said:
"I dare not advise you not to go away. Still, don't you see it—how wonderful was your victory to-day?"
"I can't always defeat him!" Paula cried. "His power comes over me and I move toward him—just as reptiles7 must follow a blind impulse started from without. Each time I follow, I must be weaker."
"But, Paula, each time something happens to restore you to yourself, thwarting8 his purpose, his projections9 are weakened."
"But if I should go far away?"
"He could only put it in your mind to return."
When Paula remembered the accidents which had preserved her, even when in the same city with the Destroyer, she could not doubt the salvation10 in putting a big stretch of the planet's curve between her and this dynamo.... Certain unfinished thinking could only be cleared through a friend like Madame Nestor.
"This physical consciousness which he has made me feel seems indescribably more sinister11 in erect12 human beings than the mating instinct in animals and birds," Paula declared with hesitation13. "Can it be that women in general encounter influences—of this kind?"
"It is man's fault that women have broken all seasons," the Madame said bitterly. "Man has kept woman submerged since the beginning of time. Always eager to serve; and blest—or cursed—with the changeless passion to be all to one man—her most enduring hope to hold the exclusive love of one man—woman has adapted herself eagerly to become the monogamic answer to man's polygamic nature. Bellingham is but the embodiment of a desire which exists in greater or less degree in every man. This desire of man has disordered women. We have lost the true meaning of ourselves—I mean, as a race of women—and have become merely physical mates."
"I can hardly believe it—that even women of the streets should ever be degraded by such a horrible force," Paula said desperately14. "And the sweet calm faces of some of the women we know——"
"Behind the mask of innocence15, often, is a woman's terrible secret, Paula. For most women obey. Even the growth of the maid is ruthlessly forced by hot breaths of passion, until motherhood—so often a domestic tragedy—leaves the imprint16 of shame in her arms. The man of unlit soul has made this low play of passion his art. Woman as a race has fallen, because it is her way to please and obey. Man has taught us to believe that when he comes to our arms, we are at our highest.... And, listen, Paula, certain men of to-day, a step higher in evolution, blame woman because she has not suddenly unlearned her training of the ages—lessons man has graven in the very bed-rock of her nature. In the novelty of their new-found austerity, they exclaim: 'Avoid woman. She is passion rhythmic17. It is she who draws us down from our lofty regions of endeavor.'"
Terrific energy of rebellion stirred Paula's mind. "But the promise is that woman's time shall come!" she exclaimed. "The Child, Jesus, said to his Mother, 'Thy time is not yet come,' but it is promised that the heel of woman shall crush the head of the Serpent. We have always borne the sin, the agony, the degradation18, but our time must be close at hand! I think this is the age—and this the country—of the Rising Woman!"
Madame Nestor arose from the cot and stood before Paula, her eyes shining with emotion.
"Bless you, my beloved girl, my whole heart leaps to sanction that! I have symbolized19 the whole struggle of our race in your personal struggle—don't you see this, Paula?... Bellingham is the concentrate of devourers—and you the evolved woman who overcomes him! My hope for the race lies in you, and your victory to-day has filled my cup with happiness!... You say you do not dare to pray. I tell you, child,—the God of women gave you strength to-day. He is close to harken unto your need—for you are among the first of the elect to bring in the glory of the new day!... The animal in man has depleted20 the splendid energies of the Spirit. Passions of the kind you defeated to-day are overpowering women everywhere at this hour—lesser21 passions of lesser Bellinghams. Man's course to God has been a crawl through millenniums, instead of a flight through decades, because woman has bowed—obeyed. God is patient, but woman is aroused!... Above the din22 of wars, the world has heard the wailing23 of the women; out of the ghostly silence of famine and from beneath the debris24 of fallen empires—always the world has heard her cry for pity—her cry for pity now become a Voice of Power! All her tortured centuries have been for this—and the signs are upon us! Woman's demand for knowledge, her clamor for suffrage25, her protest against eternally paying for man's lust26 with unblessed babes—all these are signs! But you, Paula Linster,—and what I know of this day—is the most thrilling sign of all to me!... Ah, woman is evolving; she is aroused! How shall she repay man for brutalizing her so long?"
"By bringing him back to God!" Paula answered.
They wept together and whispered, while the night fell about and covered the squalid room.
It was one of her emancipated27 nights. Paula's spirit poured out over the city, for her mind was lit with thoughts of the ultimate redemption of her race. Bellingham could not have found her in his world that hour.... Emerging from Broadway to Forty-fourth Street, at eight in the evening, she passed under the hot brilliance28 of a famous hotel-entrance. As it never would have occurred to her to do in a less exalted29 moment, Paula glanced at a little knot of men standing30 under the lights. The eyes of one were roving like an unclean hand over her figure. Suddenly encountering her look, a bold, eager, challenge stretched itself upon his face. In the momentary31 panic, her glance darted32 to the others instinctively33 for protection—and found three smiling corpses34.... Here were little Bellinghams; here, the sexual drunkenness which has made Man's course "a crawl through millenniums" to God, instead of a flight through decades. What a pitiless revelation!... She clung to her big Ideal in the West. It came to her for a second like a last and single hope—that Charter was not like that.... "God is patient and woman is aroused!" she whispered.
And farther up, a little way into Forty-seventh, Paula found a Salvation Army circle under the torch. A man with a pallid35, shrunken face turned imploring36 eyes from one to another of the company, exclaiming: "I tell you, man's first work here below is to save his soul! I pray you—men and women, here to-night—to save your souls!"
Paula tossed her purse upon the big drum, as she passed swiftly. Luckily there was carfare in her glove, for she had not thought of that. Never before had she felt in such fullness her relation to the race....
A hansom-cab veered37 about the edge of the Salvation circle, swift enough to attract her eye. The horse had started before the driver was in the seat. The latter was fat and apoplectic38. It was all he could do to regain39 his place, so that the reins40 still dangled41. The possibility of a cab-horse becoming excited held only humor for the crowd, which parted to let the vehicle by. The horse, feeling his head, started to run just as the driver seized one of the lines and jerked his beast into the curb42. There was an inhuman43 scream. A strange, boneless effigy44 of a man with twisted, waving arms—went down before the plunging45 horse, so suddenly swerved46.... A hush47 seemed to have fallen upon the noisy Broadway corner. Paula was not blind in the brief interval48 which followed, but the world seemed gray and still, like a spectral49 dawn, or the unearthly setting of a dream.
"The shaft bored into him, and the horse struck him after he fell," a voice explained.
They lifted him. There was particular dreadfulness in the quantity of fluid evenly sheeted on the pavement as from a pail carefully overturned. Startling effrontery50 attached to the thought of man's heaven-aspiring current swimming like this upon a degraded city road. The horse, now held by the bit, snorted affrightedly at the odor. They had carried the unfortunate to the sidewalk under the lights of a tobacco-shop window. The upper part of his head and face was indefinite like a crushed tin of dark paint. But mouth and nose and chin of the upturned face left an imperishable imprint upon her mind. It was Bellingham.... Paula fled, her lips opening in a sick fashion. It seemed hours before she could reach the sanctuary51 of her room, where she sobbed52 in the dark.
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1
suite
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| n.一套(家具)；套房；随从人员 | |
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shaft
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| n.(工具的)柄，杆状物 | |
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psychic
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| n.对超自然力敏感的人；adj.有超自然力的 | |
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4
caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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impelled
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| v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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6
irresistibly
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| adv.无法抵抗地，不能自持地；极为诱惑人地 | |
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7
reptiles
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| n.爬行动物，爬虫( reptile的名词复数 ) | |
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8
thwarting
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| 阻挠( thwart的现在分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过 | |
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projections
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| 预测( projection的名词复数 )； 投影； 投掷； 突起物 | |
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10
salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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12
erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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13
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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15
innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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imprint
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| n.印痕，痕迹；深刻的印象；vt.压印，牢记 | |
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rhythmic
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| adj.有节奏的，有韵律的 | |
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degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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symbolized
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| v.象征，作为…的象征( symbolize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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depleted
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| adj. 枯竭的, 废弃的 动词deplete的过去式和过去分词 | |
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lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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din
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| n.喧闹声，嘈杂声 | |
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wailing
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
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debris
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| n.瓦砾堆，废墟，碎片 | |
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suffrage
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| n.投票，选举权，参政权 | |
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lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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emancipated
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| adj.被解放的，不受约束的v.解放某人（尤指摆脱政治、法律或社会的束缚）( emancipate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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brilliance
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| n.光辉，辉煌，壮丽，（卓越的）才华，才智 | |
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exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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darted
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的过去式和过去分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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34
corpses
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| n.死尸，尸体( corpse的名词复数 ) | |
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pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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imploring
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| 恳求的，哀求的 | |
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37
veered
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| v.（尤指交通工具）改变方向或路线( veer的过去式和过去分词 )；（指谈话内容、人的行为或观点）突然改变；（指风） （在北半球按顺时针方向、在南半球按逆时针方向）逐渐转向；风向顺时针转 | |
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38
apoplectic
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| adj.中风的；愤怒的；n.中风患者 | |
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39
regain
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| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
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40
reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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41
dangled
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| 悬吊着( dangle的过去式和过去分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口 | |
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42
curb
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| n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制 | |
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43
inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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44
effigy
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| n.肖像 | |
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45
plunging
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| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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46
swerved
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| v.（使）改变方向，改变目的( swerve的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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48
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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49
spectral
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| adj.幽灵的，鬼魂的 | |
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50
effrontery
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| n.厚颜无耻 | |
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51
sanctuary
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| n.圣所，圣堂，寺庙；禁猎区，保护区 | |
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52
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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