Charter had come a long way very swiftly in his search for realities. If it is required of man, at a certain stage of evolution, to possess a working knowledge of the majority of possible human experiences, in order to choose wisely between good and evil, Charter had, indeed, covered much ground in his thirty-three years. As a matter of fact, there were few degrees in the masonry3 of sensation, into which he had not been initiated4. His was the name of a race of wild, sensual, physical types; a name still held high in old-world authority, and identified with men of heavy hunting, heavy dining and drinking. The Charters had always been admired for high temper and fair women. True, there was not a germ of the present Charter mental capacity in the whole race of such men commonly mated, but Quentin's father had married a woman with a marvellous endurance in prayer—that old, dull-looking formula for producing sons of strength. A silent woman, she was, a reverent5 woman, an angry woman, with the stuff of martyrdoms in her veins6.
Indeed, in her father, John Quentin, reformer, there were stirring materials for memory. His it was to ride and preach, to excoriate7 evil and depict8 the good, with the blessing9 of a living God shining bright and directly upon it. A bracing10 figure, this Grandfather Quentin, an ethereal bloom at the top of a tough stalk of Irish peasantry. First, as a soldier in the British army he was heard of, a stripling with a girl's waist, a pigeon breast, and the soul's divinity breathing itself awake within. His was a poet's rapture11 at the sight of morning mists, wrestling with the daybreak over the mountains; and everywhere his regiment12 went, were left behind Quentin's songs—crude verses of a minor13 singer, never seeking permanence more than Homer; and everywhere, he set about to correct the degradations14 of men, absolutely unscared and grandly improvident15. A fighter for simple loving-kindness in the heart of man, a worshiper of the bright fragment of truth vouchsafed16 to his eyes, a lover of children, a man who walked thrillingly with a personal God, and was so glorified17 and ignited by the spirit that, every day, he strode singing into battle. Such was John Quentin, and from him, a living part of his own strong soul, sprang the woman who mothered Quentin Charter, sprang pure from his dreams and meditations18, and doubtless with his prayer for a great son, marked in the scroll19 of her soul.... For to her, bringing a man into the world meant more than a bleak20 passage of misery21 begun with passion and ended with pain.
Her single bearing of fruit was a solitary22 pilgrimage. From the hour of the conception, she drew apart with her own ideals, held herself aloof23 from fleshly things, almost as one without a body. Charter, the strongly-sexed, her merchant-husband, the laughing, scolding, joking gunner; admirable, even delightful24, to Nineteenth Century men of hot dinners and stimulated25 nights—showed her all that a man must not be. Alone, she crossed the burning sands; cleansed26 her body and brain in the cool of evenings, expanded her soul with dreams projected far into the glistening27 purple heavens and whispered the psalms28 and poems which had fed the lyric29 hunger of her father.
It glorified her temples to brood by an open window upon the night-sky; to conceive even the garment's hem30 of that Inspiring Source, to Whom solar systems are but a glowworm swarm31, and the soul of man mightier32 than them all. Sometimes she carried the concept farther, until it seemed as if her heart must cease to beat: that this perfecting fruit of the universe, the soul of man, must be imprisoned33 for a time in the womb of woman; that the Supreme34 seemed content with this humble35 mystery, nor counted not æons spent, nor burnt-out suns, nor wasting myriads36 that devastate37 the habitable crusts—if only One smile back at Him at last; if only at last, on some chilling planet's rim2, One Worthy38 Spirit lift His lustrous39 pinions40 and ascend41 out of chaos42 to the Father.
The spirit of her own father was nearer to her in this wonderful pilgrimage than her husband, to whom she was cold as Etruscan glasses in the deep-delved earth (yet filled with what fiery43 potential wine!). He called her Mistress Ice, brought every art, lure44, and expression in the Charter evolution to bear upon her; yet, farther and farther into heights he could not dream, she fled with her forming babe. Many mysteries were cleared for her during this exalted45 period—though clouded later by the pangs46 of parturition47.... Once, in the night, she had awakened48 with a sound in her room. At first she thought it was her husband, but she heard his breathing from the next chamber49. At length before her window, shadowed against the faint light of the sky, appeared the head and shoulders of a man. He was less than ten feet from her, and she heard the rustle50 of his fingers over the dresser. For an instant she endured a horrible, stifling51, feminine fright, but it was superseded52 at once by a fine assembling of faculties53 under the control of genuine courage. The words she whispered were quite new to her.
"I don't want to have to kill you," she said softly. "Put down what you have and go away—hurry."
The burglar fled quietly down the front stairs, and she heard the door shut behind him. Out of her trembling was soon evolved the consciousness of some great triumph, the nature of which she did not yet know. It was pure ecstasy54 that the realization55 brought. The courage which had steadied her through the crisis was not her own, but from the man's soul she bore! There was never any doubt after that, she was to bear a son.
There is a rather vital defect in her pursuing the way alone, even though a great transport filled the days and nights. The complete alienation56 of her husband was a fact. This estranged57 the boy from his father. Except as the sower, the latter had no part in the life-garden of Quentin Charter. The mother realized in later years that she might have ignored less and explained more. The fear of a lack of sympathy had given her a separateness which her whole married life afterward58 reflected. She had disdained59 even the minor feminine prerogative60 of acting61. Her husband had a quick, accurate physical brain which, while it could not have accompanied nor supported in her sustained inspiration, might still have comprehended and laughingly admired. Instead, she had been as wholly apart from him as a memory. Often, in the great weariness of continued contemplation, her spirit had cried out for the sustenance62 which only a real mate could bring, the gifts of a kindred soul. Many times she asked: "Where is the undiscovered master of my heart?"
There was no one to replenish63 within her the mighty64 forces she expended65 to nurture66 the spiritual elements of her child. A lover of changeless chivalry67 might have given her a prophet, instead of a genius, pitifully enmeshed in fleshly complications. In her developed the concept (and the mark of it lived afterward with glowing power in the mind of her son)—the thrilling possibility of a union, in the supreme sense of the word, a union of Two to form One....
Charter, the boy, inherited a sense of the importance of the "I." In his earlier years all things moved about the ego68. By the time of his first letter to Paula Linster, the world had tested the Charter quality, but to judge by the years previous, more specifically by the decade bounded by his twentieth and thirtieth birthdays, it would have appeared that apart from endowing the young man with a fine and large brain-surface, the Charter elements had triumphed over the mother's meditations. To a very wise eye, acquainted with the psychic69 and material aspects of the case, the fact would have become plain that the hot, raw blood of the Charters had to be cooled, aged70, and refined, before the exalted spirit of the Quentins could manifest in this particular instrument. It would have been a very fascinating natural experiment had it not been for the fear that the boy's body would be destroyed instead of refined.
His mother's abhorrence71 for the gross animalism of drink, as she discovered it in her husband (though the tolerant world did not call him a drunkard), was by no means reflected intact in the boy's mind. A vast field of surface-tissue, however, was receptive to the subject. Quentin was early interested in the effects of alcohol, and entirely72 unafraid. He had the perversity73 to believe that many of his inclinations74 must be worn-out, instead of controlled. As for his ability to control anything about him, under the pressure of necessity, he had no doubt of this. Drink played upon him warmly. His young men and women associates found the stimulated Charter an absolutely new order of human enchantment—a young man lit with humor and wisdom, girded with chivalry, and a delight to the emotions. Indeed, it was through these that the young man's spirit for a space lost the helm. It was less for his fine physical attractions than for the play of his emotions that his intimates loved him. From his moods emanated75 what seemed to minds youthful as his own, all that was brave and true and tender. An evening of wine, and Charter dwelt in a house of dreams, to which came fine friendships, passionate76 amours, the truest of verses and the sweetest songs. Often he came to dwell in this house, calling it life—and his mother wept her nights away. Her husband was long dead, but she felt that something, named Charter, was battling formidably for the soul of her boy. She was grateful for his fine physique, grateful that his emotions were more delicately attuned77 than any of his father's breed, but she had not prayed for these. She knew the ghastly mockeries which later come to haunt these houses of dreams. Such was not her promise of fulfilment. She had not crossed the deserts and mountains alone to Mecca for a verse-maker—a bit of proud flesh for women to adore.... Charter, imperious with his stimulus78, wise in his imagined worldliness, thought he laughed away his mother's fears.
"I am a clerk of the emotions," he once told her. "To depict them, I must feel them first."
And the yellow devil who built for him his house of dreams coarsened his desires as well, and wove a husk, fibrous, warm, and red, about his soul. The old flesh-mother, Earth, concentred upon him her subtlest currents of gravity; showed him her women in garments of crushed lilies; promised him her mysteries out of Egypt—how he should change the base metal of words into shining gold; sent unto him her flatterers calling him great, years before his time; calling him Emotion's Own Master and Action's Apostle; and her sirens lured79 him to the vine-clad cliffs with soft singing that caressed80 his senses. Because his splendid young body was aglow81, he called it harmony—this wind wailing82 from the barrens.... As if harmony could come out of hell.
Old Mother Earth with her dead-souled moon—how she paints her devils with glory for the eye of a big-souled boy; painting dawns above her mountains of dirt, and sunsets upon her drowning depths of sea; painting scarlet83 the lips of insatiable women, and roses in the heart of her devouring84 wines—always painting! Look to Burns and Byron—who bravely sang her pictures—and sank.
There are vital matters of narrative85 in this decade of Charter's between twenty and thirty. Elements of the world-old conflict between the animal and the soul are never without human interest; but this is a history of a brighter conquest than any victory over the senses alone.... Even restless years of wandering are only suggested. Yet one cannot show how far into the heights Charter climbed, without lifting for a moment the shadow from the caverns86, wherein he finally awoke, and wrestled87 with demons88 towards the single point of light—on the rising road.
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1
crucible
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| n.坩锅，严酷的考验 | |
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rim
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| n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界 | |
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masonry
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| n.砖土建筑；砖石 | |
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initiated
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| n. 创始人 adj. 新加入的 vt. 开始，创始，启蒙，介绍加入 | |
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reverent
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| adj.恭敬的，虔诚的 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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excoriate
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| v.使磨破皮；剥皮 | |
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depict
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| vt.描画，描绘；描写，描述 | |
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blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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bracing
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| adj.令人振奋的 | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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degradations
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| 堕落( degradation的名词复数 )； 下降； 陵削； 毁坏 | |
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improvident
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| adj.不顾将来的，不节俭的，无远见的 | |
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vouchsafed
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| v.给予，赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 )；允诺 | |
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glorified
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| 美其名的，变荣耀的 | |
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meditations
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| 默想( meditation的名词复数 )； 默念； 沉思； 冥想 | |
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scroll
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| n.卷轴，纸卷；(石刻上的)漩涡 | |
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bleak
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| adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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cleansed
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| 弄干净，清洗( cleanse的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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glistening
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| adj.闪耀的，反光的v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的现在分词 ) | |
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psalms
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| n.赞美诗( psalm的名词复数 )；圣诗；圣歌；(中的) | |
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lyric
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| n.抒情诗，歌词；adj.抒情的 | |
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hem
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| n.贴边，镶边；vt.缝贴边；(in)包围，限制 | |
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swarm
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| n.(昆虫)等一大群；vi.成群飞舞；蜂拥而入 | |
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mightier
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| adj. 强有力的，强大的，巨大的 adv. 很，极其 | |
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imprisoned
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| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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myriads
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| n.无数，极大数量( myriad的名词复数 ) | |
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devastate
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| v.使荒芜，破坏，压倒 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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lustrous
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| adj.有光泽的；光辉的 | |
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pinions
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| v.抓住[捆住]（双臂）( pinion的第三人称单数 ) | |
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ascend
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| vi.渐渐上升，升高；vt.攀登，登上 | |
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chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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45
exalted
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| adj.(地位等)高的，崇高的；尊贵的，高尚的 | |
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pangs
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| 突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛 | |
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parturition
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| n.生产，分娩 | |
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awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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rustle
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| v.沙沙作响；偷盗(牛、马等)；n.沙沙声声 | |
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51
stifling
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| a.令人窒息的 | |
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52
superseded
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| [医]被代替的，废弃的 | |
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53
faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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alienation
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| n.疏远；离间；异化 | |
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estranged
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| adj.疏远的，分离的 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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disdained
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| 鄙视( disdain的过去式和过去分词 )； 不屑于做，不愿意做 | |
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prerogative
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| n.特权 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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sustenance
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| n.食物，粮食；生活资料；生计 | |
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replenish
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| vt.补充；(把…)装满；(再)填满 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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expended
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| v.花费( expend的过去式和过去分词 )；使用（钱等）做某事；用光；耗尽 | |
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nurture
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| n.养育，照顾，教育；滋养，营养品；vt.养育，给与营养物，教养，扶持 | |
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chivalry
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| n.骑士气概，侠义；（男人）对女人彬彬有礼，献殷勤 | |
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ego
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| n.自我，自己，自尊 | |
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psychic
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| n.对超自然力敏感的人；adj.有超自然力的 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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abhorrence
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| n.憎恶；可憎恶的事 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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perversity
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| n.任性；刚愎自用 | |
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inclinations
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| 倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡 | |
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emanated
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的过去式和过去分词 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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attuned
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| v.使协调( attune的过去式和过去分词 )；调音 | |
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stimulus
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| n.刺激，刺激物，促进因素，引起兴奋的事物 | |
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lured
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| 吸引，引诱（lure的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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caressed
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| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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81
aglow
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| adj.发亮的；发红的；adv.发亮地 | |
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82
wailing
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
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83
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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devouring
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| 吞没( devour的现在分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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85
narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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86
caverns
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| 大山洞，大洞穴( cavern的名词复数 ) | |
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87
wrestled
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| v.（与某人）搏斗( wrestle的过去式和过去分词 )；扭成一团；扭打；（与…）摔跤 | |
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88
demons
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| n.恶人( demon的名词复数 )；恶魔；精力过人的人；邪念 | |
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