“Yes,” he said presently, “but we have not fulfilled our purpose.... You know, we set out in high courage to start the army back home again—and now, here we are.”
“A man named Columbus set out to discover a short passage to India and found a New World. Really my son—these are not our affairs. We have done what we could.... Once I wanted the world to answer abruptly1 to my service—to speak up sharp. But I have made terms—hard terms we all must make. This is it—to do our part the best we can, and keep off the results. They are God's concern, Moritz.”
“I dare say.”
“When I was younger,” Fallows went on, “I wanted to make a circle of light around the world. I thought they must see it, as I did. And often I left my friends discussing my failure. But once I came home and looked into the eyes of a little boy—a little peasant child named Jan. I saw that his love for me had awakened2 his soul.... Man, these matters are managed with a finer art than we dream of. The work is the thing.” Peter swung into the larger current. They had all been cold. Fallows was burning for them. The ice and the agony were melting from each heart.
“We think all is going wrong. We sit and breathe our failures often when the celestial3 answer is in the air. If we were not so obtuse4 and fleshly, we could see the quickening of light about us. We have had our hours here. We have breathed the open. A very huge army is about us, and we are thrust aside. It would seem that we and our little story are lost in the great brute5 noise. Why, Moritz, these things that we have thought and dreamed will rise again in the midst of a world that has forgotten the tread of armies.”
They heard a voice in the street—a running step upon the stair. Queerly it happened in that instant of waiting, that Peter heard the sound of dropping water beyond the partition—drip, drip, drip, upon a tinny surface. Berthe had risen, and followed Fallows and Abel to the door. A moment later Poltneck, the singer, was with them, and the sentry6 who brought him took his post with the other at the entrance. He freed himself from them, and strode alone to the front of the room, where he sat, face covered in his hands, weaving his head to and fro.
“You do not well to welcome me,” he groaned7 at last. “I should have been in a cell alone—not here among friends. You see in me the most abject8 failure—a mere9 music-monger who forgot his greater work.”
“Tell us—”
He did not answer at once. They led him back into the shadows where Peter and Berthe had been; gathered closely about, so their voices would not carry.
“We were hoping not to see you,” said Abel, “yet sending our dearest thoughts. What you have done is good, and we will not be denied a song. Speak, Poltneck—”
“I was all right till you went. I was thinking of everything—but then I became blind. The work in the hospitals palled10. I did not do what I could. They saw I was different, and watched closely. That made me mad. I am a fool to temper and pride. All I have is something that I did not earn—something thrust upon me that makes sounds. The rest is emptiness. In fact there must be emptiness where sounds come from—”
“We know better than that,” said Fallows. “Tell us and we will judge.”
Poltneck straightened up and met the eyes of Peter. “This is the correspondent?” he asked.
“He came up from the field this morning and in looking for us—fell under suspicion,” Berthe explained.
The long hard arm stretched out to Peter, who still was somewhat at sea, as Boylan had been, and afraid that he detected a taint11 of the dramatic.
“I saw your companion in the bomb-proof pit,” Poltneck declared. “In fact, I just came from there, but I will tell you.... I was perhaps two hours or more in the hospital, after you three were taken, when they sent for me. I thought it a summons, of course, such, as you—”
He glanced at the faces about him, and continued:
“But instead of leading me in the direction you had taken, the sentry bade me mount a horse at the door, and we rode rapidly down to the edge of the valley, to Kohlvihr's headquarters—a pestilential place sunken in the ground and covered with sods. There they broke it to me what was wanted—”
His listeners began to understand.
“Yes, I was to sing to the lines,” Poltneck added. “It appears they had been driven back several times, leaving their dead and wounded in such numbers on the field—officers and men—that there was some hesitation12 about the expediency13 of trying it again. Not, however, in the bomb-proof pit. Kohlvihr was of a single mind, determined14 to make his reputation as man-indomitable at the expense of his division. A patchy old rodent15 of a man—
“I was to be used to sing the men forward. Great God, they didn't see the difference from singing to wounded men, to men under the knife without sleep, to dying men and to homesick bivouacs—from this that they asked. It is my devil. I played with them. I made them think I was afraid. I made them think I was simple. One of them told me of the tenor16 Chautonville with the army. I played to that. It was very petty of me to get caught in this cleverness, because that's how I fell—”
“You didn't sing the lines into a new advance?” Fallows asked. His face looked lined and gray as he leaned forward.
“No, I didn't do that. But I made them wait to find out. I was so occupied with repartee17 and acting18 that I failed to seize the real chance of all the world. I told them I had been tried out as an anesthetic19, but was not sure of myself in an opposite capacity. I begged them to send for the member of imperial orchestra stars—”
“I told them I was a poor simple man afraid of great numbers, abased22 even before wounded, but that if they would wound the men first I would try. It was this that betrayed me—the joy of astonishing. Oh, they were without humor. It goes with the army—to be without humor. Really, you would have been dumfounded at the brittleness23 of mind which I encountered in the bomb-proof pit.... Of course, it had to come. It dawned on them—what I meant, and what the real state of my scorn was—at least, in part. And I was taken away, very pleased with myself and joyous—”
“I do not see where you failed. Where, where?” Berthe asked.
It was Fallows who understood first—even before Abel and Peter, who was not so imbued24 with the specific passion of the revolutionist.
“I was here—back in the city when it came to me what I might have done. And so clearly the cause of the failure was shown to me,” Poltneck said, with a humility25 that touched Peter deeply, for his first thought had vanished before the fact that Poltneck neither in the action nor the narrative26 had once thought of his own life or death.
“I should have gone out to the lines and met the men face to face. Oh, it is hard—hard that I did not think of it, for I could have sung them home, instead of on into the valley. We might have been marching back now—all the lines crumbling—the bomb-proof pit squashed!”
The final stroke fell upon him this instant. None of the others had thought of it.
“And these—doors! Living God, we could have opened these doors!”
Their hands went out to him.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
abruptly
|
|
| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
awakened
|
|
| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
celestial
|
|
| adj.天体的；天上的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
obtuse
|
|
| adj.钝的；愚钝的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
brute
|
|
| n.野兽，兽性 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
sentry
|
|
| n.哨兵，警卫 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
groaned
|
|
| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
abject
|
|
| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
mere
|
|
| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
palled
|
|
| v.（因过多或过久而）生厌，感到乏味，厌烦( pall的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
taint
|
|
| n.污点；感染；腐坏；v.使感染；污染 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
hesitation
|
|
| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
expediency
|
|
| n.适宜；方便；合算；利己 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
determined
|
|
| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
rodent
|
|
| n.啮齿动物；adj.啮齿目的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
tenor
|
|
| n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
repartee
|
|
| n.机敏的应答 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
acting
|
|
| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
anesthetic
|
|
| n.麻醉剂，麻药；adj.麻醉的，失去知觉的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
vitriolic
|
|
| adj.硫酸的，尖刻的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
abased
|
|
| 使谦卑( abase的过去式和过去分词 )； 使感到羞耻； 使降低（地位、身份等）； 降下 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
brittleness
|
|
| n.脆性，脆度，脆弱性 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
imbued
|
|
| v.使（某人/某事）充满或激起（感情等）( imbue的过去式和过去分词 )；使充满；灌输；激发（强烈感情或品质等） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
humility
|
|
| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
narrative
|
|
| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |