CHAPTER XXXIII.

 As Hawker again entered the room of the great windows he glanced in sidelong bitterness at the chandelier. When he was seated he looked at it in open defiance¹ and hatred².

 

Men in the street were shovelling³ at the snow. The noise of their instruments scraping on the stones came plainly to Hawker's ears in a harsh chorus, and this sound at this time was perhaps to him a miserere.

 

"I came to tell you," he began, "I came to tell you that perhaps I am going away."

 

"Going away!" she cried. "Where?"

 

"Well, I don't know—quite. You see, I am rather indefinite as yet. I thought of going for the winter somewhere in the Southern States. I am decided⁴ merely this much, you know—I am going somewhere. But I don't know where. 'Way off, anyhow."

 

"We shall be very sorry to lose you," she remarked. "We——"

 

"And I thought," he continued, "that I would come and say 'adios' now for fear that I might leave very suddenly. I do that sometimes. I'm afraid you will forget me very soon, but I want to tell you that——"

 

"Why," said the girl in some surprise, "you speak as if you were going away for all time. You surely do not mean to utterly⁵ desert New York?"

 

"I think you misunderstand me," he said. "I give this important air to my farewell to you because to me it is a very important event. Perhaps you recollect⁶ that once I told you that I cared for you. Well, I still care for you, and so I can only go away somewhere—some place 'way off—where—where—— See?"

 

"New York is a very large place," she observed.

 

"Yes, New York is a very large—— How good of you to remind me! But then you don't understand. You can't understand. I know I can find no place where I will cease to remember you, but then I can find some place where I can cease to remember in a way that I am myself. I shall never try to forget you. Those two violets, you know—one I found near the tennis court and the other you gave me, you remember—I shall take them with me."

 

"Here," said the girl, tugging⁷ at her gown for a moment—"Here! Here's a third one." She thrust a violet toward him.

 

"If you were not so serenely⁸ insolent," said Hawker, "I would think that you felt sorry for me. I don't wish you to feel sorry for me. And I don't wish to be melodramatic. I know it is all commonplace enough, and I didn't mean to act like a tenor¹⁰. Please don't pity me."

 

"I don't," she replied. She gave the violet a little fling.

 

Hawker lifted his head suddenly and glowered¹¹ at her. "No, you don't," he at last said slowly, "you don't. Moreover, there is no reason why you should take the trouble. But——"

 

He paused when the girl leaned and peered over the arm of her chair precisely¹² in the manner of a child at the brink¹³ of a fountain. "There's my violet on the floor," she said. "You treated it quite contemptuously, didn't you?"

 

"Yes."

 

Together they stared at the violet. Finally he stooped and took it in his fingers. "I feel as if this third one was pelted¹⁴ at me, but I shall keep it. You are rather a cruel person, but, Heaven guard us! that only fastens a man's love the more upon a woman."

 

She laughed. "That is not a very good thing to tell a woman."

 

"No," he said gravely, "it is not, but then I fancy that somebody may have told you previously¹⁵."

 

She stared at him, and then said, "I think you are revenged for my serene⁹ insolence¹⁶."

 

"Great heavens, what an armour¹⁷!" he cried. "I suppose, after all, I did feel a trifle like a tenor when I first came here, but you have chilled it all out of me. Let's talk upon indifferent topics." But he started abruptly¹⁸ to his feet. "No," he said, "let us not talk upon indifferent topics. I am not brave, I assure you, and it—it might be too much for me." He held out his hand. "Good-bye."

 

"You are going?"

 

"Yes, I am going. Really I didn't think how it would bore you for me to come around here and croak¹⁹ in this fashion."

 

"And you are not coming back for a long, long time?"

 

"Not for a long, long time." He mimicked²⁰ her tone. "I have the three violets now, you know, and you must remember that I took the third one even when you flung it at my head. That will remind you how submissive I was in my devotion. When you recall the two others it will remind you of what a fool I was. Dare say you won't miss three violets."

 

"No," she said.

 

"Particularly the one you flung at my head. That violet was certainly freely—given."

 

"I didn't fling it at your head." She pondered for a time with her eyes upon the floor. Then she murmured, "No more freely—given than the one I gave you that night—that night at the inn."

 

"So very good of you to tell me so!"

 

Her eyes were still upon the floor.

 

"Do you know," said Hawker, "it is very hard to go away and leave an impression in your mind that I am a fool? That is very hard. Now, you do think I am a fool, don't you?"

 

She remained silent. Once she lifted her eyes and gave him a swift look with much indignation in it.

 

"Now you are enraged²¹. Well, what have I done?"

 

It seemed that some tumult²² was in her mind, for she cried out to him at last in sudden tearfulness: "Oh, do go! Go! Please! I want you to go!"

 

Under this swift change Hawker appeared as a man struck from the sky. He sprang to his feet, took two steps forward, and spoke²³ a word which was an explosion of delight and amazement²⁴. He said, "What?"

 

With heroic effort she slowly raised her eyes until, alight with anger, defiance, unhappiness, they met his eyes.

 

Later, she told him that he was perfectly²⁵ ridiculous.

1 defiance   

n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗

参考例句：

• He climbed the ladder in defiance of the warning.他无视警告爬上了那架梯子。
• He slammed the door in a spirit of defiance.他以挑衅性的态度把门砰地一下关上。

2 hatred   

n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨

参考例句：

• He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我。
• The old man was seized with burning hatred for the fascists.老人对法西斯主义者充满了仇恨。

3 shovelling   

v.铲子( shovel的现在分词 )；锹；推土机、挖土机等的)铲；铲形部份

参考例句：

• The workers are shovelling the sand. 工人们正在铲沙子。 来自辞典例句
• They were shovelling coal up. 他们在铲煤。 来自辞典例句

4 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

5 utterly   

adv.完全地，绝对地

参考例句：

• Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民，把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
• I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。

6 recollect   

v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得

参考例句：

• He tried to recollect things and drown himself in them.他极力回想过去的事情而沉浸于回忆之中。
• She could not recollect being there.她回想不起曾经到过那儿。

7 tugging   

n.牵引感v.用力拉，使劲拉，猛扯( tug的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Tom was tugging at a button-hole and looking sheepish. 汤姆捏住一个钮扣眼使劲地拉，样子显得很害羞。 来自英汉文学 - 汤姆历险
• She kicked him, tugging his thick hair. 她一边踢他，一边扯着他那浓密的头发。 来自辞典例句

8 serenely   

adv.安详地，宁静地，平静地

参考例句：

• The boat sailed serenely on towards the horizon.小船平稳地向着天水交接处驶去。
• It was a serenely beautiful night.那是一个宁静美丽的夜晚。

9 serene   

adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的

参考例句：

• He has entered the serene autumn of his life.他已进入了美好的中年时期。
• He didn't speak much,he just smiled with that serene smile of his.他话不多，只是脸上露出他招牌式的淡定的微笑。

10 tenor   

n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意

参考例句：

• The tenor of his speech was that war would come.他讲话的大意是战争将要发生。
• The four parts in singing are soprano,alto,tenor and bass.唱歌的四个声部是女高音、女低音、男高音和男低音。

11 glowered   

v.怒视( glower的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He just glowered without speaking. 他一言不发地皱眉怒视我。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He glowered at me but said nothing. 他怒视着我，却一言不发。 来自辞典例句

12 precisely   

adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地

参考例句：

• It's precisely that sort of slick sales-talk that I mistrust.我不相信的正是那种油腔滑调的推销宣传。
• The man adjusted very precisely.那个人调得很准。

13 brink   

n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘，边沿

参考例句：

• The tree grew on the brink of the cliff.那棵树生长在峭壁的边缘。
• The two countries were poised on the brink of war.这两个国家处于交战的边缘。

14 pelted   

（连续地）投掷( pelt的过去式和过去分词 )； 连续抨击； 攻击； 剥去…的皮

参考例句：

• The children pelted him with snowballs. 孩子们向他投掷雪球。
• The rain pelted down. 天下着大雨。

15 previously   

adv.以前，先前（地）

参考例句：

• The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
• Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿，解释原先发生了什么。

16 insolence   

n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度

参考例句：

• I've had enough of your insolence, and I'm having no more. 我受够了你的侮辱，不能再容忍了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• How can you suffer such insolence? 你怎么能容忍这种蛮横的态度？ 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 armour   

（=armor）n.盔甲；装甲部队

参考例句：

• His body was encased in shining armour.他全身披着明晃晃的甲胄。
• Bulletproof cars sheathed in armour.防弹车护有装甲。

18 abruptly   

adv.突然地，出其不意地

参考例句：

• He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
• I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。

19 croak   

vi.嘎嘎叫，发牢骚

参考例句：

• Everyone seemed rather out of sorts and inclined to croak.每个人似乎都有点不对劲，想发发牢骚。
• Frogs began to croak with the rainfall.蛙随着雨落开始哇哇叫。

20 mimicked   

v.（尤指为了逗乐而）模仿( mimic的过去式和过去分词 )；酷似

参考例句：

• He mimicked her upper-class accent. 他模仿她那上流社会的腔调。 来自辞典例句
• The boy mimicked his father's voice and set everyone off laughing. 男孩模仿他父亲的嗓音，使大家都大笑起来。 来自辞典例句

21 enraged   

使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤

参考例句：

• I was enraged to find they had disobeyed my orders. 发现他们违抗了我的命令，我极为恼火。
• The judge was enraged and stroke the table for several times. 大法官被气得连连拍案。

22 tumult   

n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹

参考例句：

• The tumult in the streets awakened everyone in the house.街上的喧哗吵醒了屋子里的每一个人。
• His voice disappeared under growing tumult.他的声音消失在越来越响的喧哗声中。

23 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

24 amazement   

n.惊奇，惊讶

参考例句：

• All those around him looked at him with amazement.周围的人都对他投射出惊异的眼光。
• He looked at me in blank amazement.他带着迷茫惊诧的神情望着我。

25 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。