CHAPTER XVII. ONLY A LOVE SONG, BUT—

 Kate and little Kate left for the West on the afternoon of the fifteenth, and Bertram arrived from New York that evening. Notwithstanding the confusion of all this, Billy still had time to give some thought to her experience of the morning with Uncle William. The forlorn little room with its poverty-stricken furnishings and its crippled mistress was very vivid in Billy's memory. Equally vivid were the flashing eyes of Alice Greggory as she had opened the door at the last.

 

“For,” as Billy explained to Bertram that evening, after she had told him the story of the morning's adventure, “you see, dear, I had never been really turned out of a house before!”

 

“I should think not,” scowled¹ her lover, indignantly; “and it's safe to say you never will again. The impertinence of it! But then, you won't see them any more, sweetheart, so we'll just forget it.”

 

“Forget it! Why, Bertram, I couldn't! You couldn't, if you'd been there. Besides, of course I shall see them again!”

 

Bertram's jaw² dropped.

 

“Why, Billy, you don't mean that Will, or you either, would try again for that trumpery³ teapot!”

 

“Of course not,” flashed Billy, heatedly. “It isn't the teapot—it's that dear little Mrs. Greggory. Why, dearie, you don't know how poor they are! Everything in sight is so old and thin and worn it's enough to break your heart. The rug isn't anything but darns, nor the tablecloth⁴, either—except patches. It's awful, Bertram!”

 

“I know, darling; but you don't expect to buy them new rugs and new tablecloths⁵, do you?”

 

Billy gave one of her unexpected laughs.

 

“Mercy!” she chuckled⁶. “Only picture Miss Alice's face if I should try to buy them rugs and tablecloths! No, dear,” she went on more seriously, “I sha'n't do that, of course—though I'd like to; but I shall try to see Mrs. Greggory again, if it's nothing more than a rose or a book or a new magazine that I can take to her.”

 

“Or a smile—which I fancy will be the best gift of the lot,” amended⁷ Bertram, fondly.

 

Billy dimpled and shook her head.

 

“Smiles—my smiles—are not so valuable, I'm afraid—except to you, perhaps,” she laughed.

 

“Self-evident facts need no proving,” retorted Bertram. “Well, and what else has happened in all these ages I've been away?”

 

Billy brought her hands together with a sudden cry.

 

“Oh, and I haven't told you!” she exclaimed. “I'm writing a new song—a love song. Mary Jane wrote the words. They're beautiful.”

 

Bertram stiffened⁸.

 

“Indeed! And is—Mary Jane a poet, with all the rest?” he asked, with affected⁹ lightness.

 

“Oh, no, of course not,” smiled Billy; “but these words are pretty. And they just sang themselves into the dearest little melody right away. So I'm writing the music for them.”

 

“Lucky Mary Jane!” murmured Bertram, still with a lightness that he hoped would pass for indifference¹⁰. (Bertram was ashamed of himself, but deep within him was a growing consciousness that he knew the meaning of the vague irritation¹¹ that he always felt at the mere¹² mention of Arkwright's name.) “And will the title-page say, 'Words by Mary Jane Arkwright'?” he finished.

 

“That's what I asked him,” laughed Billy.

 

“I even suggested 'Methuselah John' for a change. Oh, but, dearie,” she broke off with shy eagerness, “I just want you to hear a little of what I've done with it. You see, really, all the time, I suspect, I've been singing it—to you,” she confessed with an endearing blush, as she sprang lightly to her feet and hurried to the piano.

 

It was a bad ten minutes that Bertram Henshaw spent then. How he could love a song and hate it at the same time he did not understand; but he knew that he was doing exactly that. To hear Billy carol “Sweetheart, my sweetheart!” with that joyous¹³ tenderness was bliss¹⁴ unspeakable—until he remembered that Arkwright wrote the “Sweetheart, my sweetheart!” then it was—(Even in his thoughts Bertram bit the word off short. He was not a swearing man.) When he looked at Billy now at the piano, and thought of her singing—as she said she had sung—that song to him all through the last three days, his heart glowed. But when he looked at her and thought of Arkwright, who had made possible that singing, his heart froze with terror.

 

From the very first it had been music that Bertram had feared. He could not forget that Billy herself had once told him that never would she love any man better than she loved her music; that she was not going to marry. All this had been at the first—the very first. He had boldly scorned the idea then, and had said:

 

“So it's music—a cold, senseless thing of spidery marks on clean white paper—that is my only rival!”

 

He had said, too, that he was going to win. And he had won—but not until after long weeks of fearing, hoping, striving, and despairing—this last when Kate's blundering had nearly made her William's wife. Then, on that memorable¹⁵ day in September, Billy had walked straight into his arms; and he knew that he had, indeed, won. That is, he had supposed that he knew—until Arkwright came.

 

Very sharply now, as he listened to Billy's singing, Bertram told himself to be reasonable, to be sensible; that Billy did, indeed, love him. Was she not, according to her own dear assertion, singing that song to him? But it was Arkwright's song. He remembered that, too—and grew faint at the thought. True, he had won when his rival, music, had been a “cold, senseless thing of spidery marks” on paper; but would that winning stand when “music” had become a thing of flesh and blood—a man of undeniable charm, good looks, and winsomeness¹⁶; a man whose thoughts, aims, and words were the personification of the thing Billy, in the long ago, had declared she loved best of all—music?

 

Bertram shivered as with a sudden chill; then Billy rose from the piano.

 

“There!” she breathed, her face shyly radiant with the glory of the song. “Did you—like it?”

 

Bertram did his best; but, in his state of mind, the very radiance of her face was only an added torture, and his tongue stumbled over the words of praise and appreciation¹⁷ that he tried to say. He saw, then, the happy light in Billy's eyes change to troubled questioning and grieved disappointment; and he hated himself for a jealous brute¹⁸. More earnestly than ever, now, he tried to force the ring of sincerity¹⁹ into his voice; but he knew that he had miserably²⁰ failed when he heard her falter²¹:

 

“Of course, dear, I—I haven't got it nearly perfected yet. It'll be much better, later.”

 

“But it s{sic} fine, now, sweetheart—indeed it is,” protested Bertram, hurriedly.

 

“Well, of course I'm glad—if you like it,” murmured Billy; but the glow did not come back to her face.

1 scowled   

怒视，生气地皱眉( scowl的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He scowled his displeasure. 他满脸嗔色。
• The teacher scowled at his noisy class. 老师对他那喧闹的课堂板着脸。

2 jaw   

n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训

参考例句：

• He delivered a right hook to his opponent's jaw.他给了对方下巴一记右钩拳。
• A strong square jaw is a sign of firm character.强健的方下巴是刚毅性格的标志。

3 trumpery   

n.无价值的杂物；adj.（物品）中看不中用的

参考例句：

• The thing he bought yesterday was trumpery.他昨天买的只是一件没有什么价值的东西。
• The trumpery in the house should be weeded out.应该清除房子里里无价值的东西。

4 tablecloth   

n.桌布，台布

参考例句：

• He sat there ruminating and picking at the tablecloth.他坐在那儿沉思，轻轻地抚弄着桌布。
• She smoothed down a wrinkled tablecloth.她把起皱的桌布熨平了。

5 tablecloths   

n.桌布，台布( tablecloth的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Champagne corks popped, and on lace tablecloths seven-course dinners were laid. 桌上铺着带装饰图案的网织的桌布，上面是七道菜的晚餐。 来自飘（部分）
• At the moment the cause of her concern was a pile of soiled tablecloths. 此刻她关心的事是一堆弄脏了的台布。 来自辞典例句

6 chuckled   

轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She chuckled at the memory. 想起这件事她就暗自发笑。
• She chuckled softly to herself as she remembered his astonished look. 想起他那惊讶的表情，她就轻轻地暗自发笑。

7 Amended   

adj. 修正的 动词amend的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• He asked to see the amended version. 他要求看修订本。
• He amended his speech by making some additions and deletions. 他对讲稿作了些增删修改。

8 stiffened   

加强的

参考例句：

• He leaned towards her and she stiffened at this invasion of her personal space. 他向她俯过身去，这种侵犯她个人空间的举动让她绷紧了身子。
• She stiffened with fear. 她吓呆了。

9 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

10 indifference   

n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎

参考例句：

• I was disappointed by his indifference more than somewhat.他的漠不关心使我很失望。
• He feigned indifference to criticism of his work.他假装毫不在意别人批评他的作品。

11 irritation   

n.激怒，恼怒，生气

参考例句：

• He could not hide his irritation that he had not been invited.他无法掩饰因未被邀请而生的气恼。
• Barbicane said nothing,but his silence covered serious irritation.巴比康什么也不说，但是他的沉默里潜伏着阴郁的怒火。

12 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

13 joyous   

adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的

参考例句：

• The lively dance heightened the joyous atmosphere of the scene.轻快的舞蹈给这场戏渲染了欢乐气氛。
• They conveyed the joyous news to us soon.他们把这一佳音很快地传递给我们。

14 bliss   

n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福

参考例句：

• It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
• He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴，因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。

15 memorable   

adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的

参考例句：

• This was indeed the most memorable day of my life.这的确是我一生中最值得怀念的日子。
• The veteran soldier has fought many memorable battles.这个老兵参加过许多难忘的战斗。

16 winsomeness   

参考例句：

17 appreciation   

n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨

参考例句：

• I would like to express my appreciation and thanks to you all.我想对你们所有人表达我的感激和谢意。
• I'll be sending them a donation in appreciation of their help.我将送给他们一笔捐款以感谢他们的帮助。

18 brute   

n.野兽，兽性

参考例句：

• The aggressor troops are not many degrees removed from the brute.侵略军简直象一群野兽。
• That dog is a dangerous brute.It bites people.那条狗是危险的畜牲，它咬人。

19 sincerity   

n.真诚，诚意；真实

参考例句：

• His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
• He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。

20 miserably   

adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地

参考例句：

• The little girl was wailing miserably. 那小女孩难过得号啕大哭。
• It was drizzling, and miserably cold and damp. 外面下着毛毛细雨，天气又冷又湿，令人难受。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 falter   

vi.(嗓音)颤抖，结巴地说；犹豫；蹒跚

参考例句：

• His voice began to falter.他的声音开始发颤。
• As he neared the house his steps faltered.当他走近房子时，脚步迟疑了起来。