"L'amour est pour les coeurs,
Ce que l'aurore est pour les fleurs,
Et le printemps pour la nature."--VIGUE.
"Love is a childish disease and like the small-pox. Some die, some become deformed1, others are more or less scarred, while upon others the disease does not leave any visible trace."--The Alchemist, by C. HAUCH.
"Be candid2, Otto!" said Wilhelm, as he one day visited his friend. "You cannot make up your mind to say thou to me; therefore let it be. We are, after all, good friends. It is only a form; although you must grant that in this respect you are really a great fool."
Otto now explained what an extraordinary aversion he had felt, what a painful feeling had seized upon him, and made it impossible to him.
"There you were playing the martyr3!" said Wilhelm, laughing. "Could you not immediately tell me how you were constituted? So are most men. When they have no trouble, they generally hatch one themselves; they will rather stand in the cold shadow than in the warm sunshine, and yet the choice stands open to us. Dear friend, reflect; now we are both of us on the stream: we shall soon be put into the great business-bottles, where we shall, like little devils, stretch and strain ourselves without ever getting out, until life withdraws from us!" He laid his arm confidentially5 upon Otto's shoulder. "Often have I wished to speak with you upon one point! Yes, I do not desire that you should confess every word, every thought to me. I already know that I shall be able to prove to you that the thing lies in a region where it cannot have the power which you ascribe to it. In the cold zones a venomous bite does not operate as dangerously as in warmer ones; a sorrow in childhood cannot overpower us as it does in riper age. Whatever misfortune may have happened to you when a child, if in your wildness--you yourself say that you were wild--whatsoever you may have then done, it cannot, it ought not to influence your whole life: your understanding could tell you this better than I. At our age we find ourselves in the land of joy, or we never enter it!"
"You are a happy man!" exclaimed Otto, and gazed sorrowfully before him. "Your childhood afforded you only joy and hope! Only think of the solitude6 in which mine was passed. Among the sand-hills of the west coast my days glided7 away: my grandfather was gloomy and passionate8; our old preacher lived only in a past time which I knew not, and Rosalie regarded the world through the spectacles of sorrow. Such an environment might well cast a shadow upon my life-joy. Even in dress, one is strangely remarkable9 when one comes from afar province to the capital; first this receives another cut, and one gradually becomes like those around one. The same thing happens in a spiritual relation, but one's being and ideas one does not change so quickly as one's clothes. I have only been a short time among strangers, and who knows?" added he, with a melancholy10 smile, "perhaps I shall come into equilibrium11 when some really great misfortune happens to me and very much overpowers me, and then I may show the same carelessness, the same phlegm as the multitude."
"A really great misfortune!" repeated Wilhelm. "You do, indeed, say something. That would be a very original means of cure, but you are an original being. Perhaps lay this means you might really be healed. 'Make no cable out of cobweb!' said a celebrated12 poet whose name does not occur to me at this moment. But the thought is good, you should have it embroidered13 upon your waistcoat, so that you might have it before your eyes when you droop14 your head. Do not look so grave; we are friends, are we not? Among all my young acquaintance you are the dearest to me, although there are moments when I know not how it stands with us. I could confide4 every secret to you, but I am not sure that you would be equally open with me. Do not be angry, my dear friend! There are secrets of so delicate a nature, that one may not confide them even to the dearest friend. So long as we preserve _our_ secret it is our prisoner; it is quite the contrary, however, so soon as we have let it escape us. And yet, Otto, you are so dear to me, that I believe in you as in my own heart. This, even now, bears a secret which penetrates15 me with joy and love of life! I must speak cut. But you must enter into my joy, partake in it, or say nothing about it; you have then heard nothing--nothing! Otto, I love! therefore am I happy, therefore is there sunshine in my heart, life joy in my veins16! I love Eva, the beautiful lovely Eva!"
Otto pressed his hand, but preserved silence.
"No, not so!" cried Wilhelm. "Only speak a word! Do you I'm in a conception of the world which has opened before me?"
"Eva is beautiful! very beautiful!" said Otto, slowly. "She is innocent and good. What can one wish for more? I can imagine how she fills your whole heart! But will she do so always? She will not always remain young, always lovely! Has she, then, mind sufficient to be everything to you? Will this momentary17 happiness which you prepare for her and yourself be great enough to outweigh--I will not say the sorrow, but the discontent which this union will bring forth18 in your family? For God's sake, think of everything!"
"My dear fellow!" said Wilhelm, "your old preacher now really speaks out of you! But enough: I can bear the confession19. I answer, 'Yes, yes!' with all my heart, 'yes!' Wherefore will you now bring me out of my sunshine into shade? Wherefore, in my joy over the beauty of the rose should I be reminded that the perfume and color will vanish, that the leaves will fall? It is the course of life! but must one, therefore, think of the grave, of the finale, when the act begins?"
"Love is a kind of monomania," said Otto; "it may be combated: it depends merely upon our own will."
"Ah, you know this not at all!" said Wilhelm. "But it will come in due time, and then you will be far more violent than others! Who knows? perhaps this is the sorrow of which you spoke20, the misfortune which should bring your whole being into equipoise! That was also a kind of search after the sorrowful. I will sincerely wish that your heart may be filled with love as mine is; then will the influence of the sand-hills vanish, and you will speak with me as you ought to do, and as my confidence deserves!"
"That will I!" replied Otto. "You make the poor girl miserable21! Now you love Eva, but then you will no longer be able. The distance between you and her is too great, and I cannot conceive how the beauty of her countenance22 can thus fill your whole being. A waiting-girl! yes, I repeat the name which offends your ear: a waiting-girl! Everywhere will it be repeated. And you? No one can respect nobility less than I do--that nobility which is only conferred by birth; it is nothing, and a time will come when this will not be prized at all, when the nobility of the soul will be the only nobility. I openly say this to you, who are a nobleman yourself. The more development of mind, the more ancestors! But Eva has nothing, can have nothing, except a pretty face, and this is what has enchained you; you are become the servant of a servant, and that is degrading yourself and your nobility of mind!"
"Mr. Thostrup!" exclaimed Wilhelm, "you wound me! This is truly not the first time, but now I am weary of it. I have shown too much good nature, and that is the most unfortunate failing a man can be cursed with!"
He seated himself at the piano, and hammered away.
Otto was silent a moment, his checks glowed, but he was soon again calm, and in a joking tone said: "Do not expend23 your anger upon that poor instrument because we disagree in our views. You are playing only dissonances, which offend my ear more than your anger!"
"Dissonances!" repeated Wilhelm. "Cannot you hear that they are harmonies? There are many things for which you have a bad ear!"
Otto knew how to lead his anger to different points regarding which they had formerly24 been at variance25, but he spoke with such mildness that Wilhelm's anger rather abated26 than increased.
They were again friends, but regarding Eva not one word more was said.
"I should not be an honest and true friend to him, were I to let him be swallowed up by this whirlpool!" said Otto to himself, when he was alone. "At present he is innocent and good but at his age, with his gay disposition27!--I must warn Eva! soon! soon! The snow which has once been trodden is no longer pure! Wilhelm will scarcely forgive me! But I must!"
On the morrow it was impossible for him to travel to Roeskelde, but the following day he really would and must hasten thither28.
Still, in the early morning hour, Eva occupied his thoughts; she busied Wilhelm's also, but in a different way: but they agreed in the purity of their intentions. There was still a third, whose blood was put in motion at the mention of her name, who said: "The pretty Eva is a servant there! One must speak with her. The family can make an excursion there!"
"You sweet children!" said the merchant's wife, "the autumn is charming, far pleasanter than the whole summer! The father, should the weather remain good, will make an excursion with us to Lethraborg the day after to-morrow. We will then walk in the beautiful valley of the Hertha, and pass the night at Roeskelde. Those will be two delightful29 days! What an excellent father you have! But shall we not invite Mr. Thostrup to go with us? We are so many ladies, and it looks well to have a few young gentlemen with us. Grethe, thou must write an invitation; thou canst write thy father's name underneath30."
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1
deformed
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| adj.畸形的；变形的；丑的，破相了的 | |
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2
candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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3
martyr
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| n.烈士，殉难者；vt.杀害，折磨，牺牲 | |
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4
confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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confidentially
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| ad.秘密地，悄悄地 | |
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6
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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7
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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8
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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9
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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10
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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11
equilibrium
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| n.平衡，均衡，相称，均势，平静 | |
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12
celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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13
embroidered
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| adj．绣花的 | |
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14
droop
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| v.低垂，下垂；凋萎，萎靡 | |
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15
penetrates
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| v.穿过( penetrate的第三人称单数 )；刺入；了解；渗透 | |
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16
veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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17
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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18
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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20
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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21
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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22
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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23
expend
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| vt.花费，消费，消耗 | |
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24
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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variance
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| n.矛盾，不同 | |
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abated
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| 减少( abate的过去式和过去分词 )； 减去； 降价； 撤消（诉讼） | |
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27
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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28
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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29
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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30
underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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