And still no desire to drink. I possessed5 too many fine faiths, was living at too keen a pitch. I was a socialist6, intent on saving the world, and alcohol could not give me the fervours that were mine from my ideas and ideals. My voice, on account of my successful writing, had added weight, or so I thought. At any rate, my reputation as a writer drew me audiences that my reputation as a speaker never could have drawn7. I was invited before clubs and organisations of all sorts to deliver my message. I fought the good fight, and went on studying and writing, and was very busy.
Up to this time I had had a very restricted circle of friends. But now I began to go about. I was invited out, especially to dinner, and I made many friends and acquaintances whose economic lives were easier than mine had been. And many of them drank. In their own houses they drank and offered me drink. They were not drunkards any of them. They just drank temperately9, and I drank temperately with them as an act of comradeship and accepted hospitality. I did not care for it, neither wanted it nor did not want it, and so small was the impression made by it that I do not remember my first cocktail10 nor my first Scotch11 highball.
Well, I had a house. When one is asked into other houses, he naturally asks others into his house. Behold12 the rising standard of living. Having been given drink in other houses, I could expect nothing else of myself than to give drink in my own house. So I laid in a supply of beer and whisky and table claret. Never since that has my house not been well supplied.
And still, through all this period, I did not care in the slightest for John Barleycorn. I drank when others drank, and with them, as a social act. And I had so little choice in the matter that I drank whatever they drank. If they elected whisky, then whisky it was for me. If they drank root beer or sarsaparilla, I drank root beer or sarsaparilla with them. And when there were no friends in the house, why, I didn't drink anything. Whisky decanters were always in the room where I wrote, and for months and years I never knew what it was, when by myself, to take a drink.
When out at dinner I noticed the kindly13, genial14 glow of the preliminary cocktail. It seemed a very fitting and gracious thing. Yet so little did I stand in need of it, with my own high intensity15 and vitality16, that I never thought it worth while to have a cocktail before my own meal when I ate alone.
On the other hand, I well remember a very brilliant man, somewhat older than I, who occasionally visited me. He liked whisky, and I recall sitting whole afternoons in my den1, drinking steadily17 with him, drink for drink, until he was mildly lighted up and I was slightly aware that I had drunk some whisky. Now why did I do this? I don't know, save that the old schooling18 held, the training of the old days and nights glass in hand with men, the drinking ways of drink and drinkers.
Besides, I no longer feared John Barleycorn. Mine was that most dangerous stage when a man believes himself John Barleycorn's master. I had proved it to my satisfaction in the long years of work and study. I could drink when I wanted, refrain when I wanted, drink without getting drunk, and to cap everything I was thoroughly19 conscious that I had no liking20 for the stuff. During this period I drank precisely21 for the same reason I had drunk with Scotty and the harpooner22 and with the oyster23 pirates—because it was an act that men performed with whom I wanted to behave as a man. These brilliant ones, these adventurers of the mind, drank. Very well. There was no reason I should not drink with them—I who knew so confidently that I had nothing to fear from John Barleycorn.
And the foregoing was my attitude of mind for years. Occasionally I got well jingled24, but such occasions were rare. It interfered25 with my work, and I permitted nothing to interfere26 with my work. I remember, when spending several months in the East End of London, during which time I wrote a book and adventured much amongst the worst of the slum classes, that I got drunk several times and was mightily27 wroth with myself because it interfered with my writing. Yet these very times were because I was out on the adventure-path where John Barleycorn is always to be found.
Then, too, with the certitude of long training and unholy intimacy28, there were occasions when I engaged in drinking bouts29 with men. Of course, this was on the adventure-path in various parts of the world, and it was a matter of pride. It is a queer man-pride that leads one to drink with men in order to show as strong a head as they. But this queer man-pride is no theory. It is a fact.
For instance, a wild band of young revolutionists invited me as the guest of honour to a beer bust30. It is the only technical beer bust I ever attended. I did not know the true inwardness of the affair when I accepted. I imagined that the talk would be wild and high, that some of them might drink more than they ought, and that I would drink discreetly31. But it seemed these beer busts32 were a diversion of these high-spirited young fellows whereby they whiled away the tedium33 of existence by making fools of their betters. As I learned afterward34, they had got their previous guest of honour, a brilliant young radical35, unskilled in drinking, quite pipped.
When I found myself with them, and the situation dawned on me, up rose my queer man-pride. I'd show them, the young rascals36. I'd show them who was husky and chesty, who had the vitality and the constitution, the stomach and the head, who could make most of a swine of himself and show it least. These unlicked cubs37 who thought they could out-drink ME!
You see, it was an endurance test, and no man likes to give another best. Faugh! it was steam beer. I had learned more expensive brews38. Not for years had I drunk steam beer; but when I had, I had drunk with men, and I guessed I could show these youngsters some ability in beer-guzzling. And the drinking began, and I had to drink with the best of them. Some of them might lag, but the guest of honour was not permitted to lag.
And all my austere39 nights of midnight oil, all the books I had read, all the wisdom I had gathered, went glimmering40 before the ape and tiger in me that crawled up from the abysm of my heredity, atavistic, competitive and brutal41, lustful42 with strength and desire to outswine the swine.
And when the session broke up I was still on my feet, and I walked, erect43, unswaying—which was more than can be said of some of my hosts. I recall one of them in indignant tears on the street corner, weeping as he pointed44 out my sober condition. Little he dreamed the iron clutch, born of old training, with which I held to my consciousness in my swimming brain, kept control of my muscles and my qualms45, kept my voice unbroken and easy and my thoughts consecutive46 and logical. Yes, and mixed up with it all I was privily47 a-grin. They hadn't made a fool of me in that drinking bout8. And I was proud of myself for the achievement. Darn it, I am still proud, so strangely is man compounded.
But I didn't write my thousand words next morning. I was sick, poisoned. It was a day of wretchedness. In the afternoon I had to give a public speech. I gave it, and I am confident it was as bad as I felt. Some of my hosts were there in the front rows to mark any signs on me of the night before. I don't know what signs they marked, but I marked signs on them and took consolation48 in the knowledge that they were just as sick as I.
Never again, I swore. And I have never been inveigled49 into another beer bust. For that matter, that was my last drinking bout of any sort. Oh, I have drunk ever since, but with more wisdom, more discretion50, and never in a competitive spirit. It is thus that the seasoned drinker grows seasoned.
To show that at this period in my life drinking was wholly a matter of companionship, I remember crossing the Atlantic in the old Teutonic. It chanced, at the start, that I chummed with an English cable operator and a younger member of a Spanish shipping51 firm. Now the only thing they drank was "horse's neck"—a long, soft, cool drink with an apple peel or an orange peel floating in it. And for that whole voyage I drank horse's necks with my two companions. On the other hand, had they drunk whisky, I should have drunk whisky with them. From this it must not be concluded that I was merely weak. I didn't care. I had no morality in the matter. I was strong with youth, and unafraid, and alcohol was an utterly52 negligible question so far as I was concerned.
野性的呼唤 The Call of the Wild
The Iron Heel 铁蹄
野性的呼唤 The Call of the Wild
The Iron Heel 铁蹄
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1 den | |
n.兽穴;秘密地方;安静的小房间,私室 | |
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2 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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3 permanently | |
adv.永恒地,永久地,固定不变地 | |
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4 pawn | |
n.典当,抵押,小人物,走卒;v.典当,抵押 | |
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5 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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6 socialist | |
n.社会主义者;adj.社会主义的 | |
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7 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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8 bout | |
n.侵袭,发作;一次(阵,回);拳击等比赛 | |
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9 temperately | |
adv.节制地,适度地 | |
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10 cocktail | |
n.鸡尾酒;餐前开胃小吃;混合物 | |
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11 scotch | |
n.伤口,刻痕;苏格兰威士忌酒;v.粉碎,消灭,阻止;adj.苏格兰(人)的 | |
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12 behold | |
v.看,注视,看到 | |
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13 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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14 genial | |
adj.亲切的,和蔼的,愉快的,脾气好的 | |
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15 intensity | |
n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度 | |
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16 vitality | |
n.活力,生命力,效力 | |
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17 steadily | |
adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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18 schooling | |
n.教育;正规学校教育 | |
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19 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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20 liking | |
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 | |
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21 precisely | |
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
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22 harpooner | |
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23 oyster | |
n.牡蛎;沉默寡言的人 | |
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24 jingled | |
喝醉的 | |
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25 interfered | |
v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 );调停;妨碍;干涉 | |
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26 interfere | |
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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27 mightily | |
ad.强烈地;非常地 | |
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28 intimacy | |
n.熟悉,亲密,密切关系,亲昵的言行 | |
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29 bouts | |
n.拳击(或摔跤)比赛( bout的名词复数 );一段(工作);(尤指坏事的)一通;(疾病的)发作 | |
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30 bust | |
vt.打破;vi.爆裂;n.半身像;胸部 | |
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31 discreetly | |
ad.(言行)审慎地,慎重地 | |
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32 busts | |
半身雕塑像( bust的名词复数 ); 妇女的胸部; 胸围; 突击搜捕 | |
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33 tedium | |
n.单调;烦闷 | |
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34 afterward | |
adv.后来;以后 | |
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35 radical | |
n.激进份子,原子团,根号;adj.根本的,激进的,彻底的 | |
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36 rascals | |
流氓( rascal的名词复数 ); 无赖; (开玩笑说法)淘气的人(尤指小孩); 恶作剧的人 | |
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37 cubs | |
n.幼小的兽,不懂规矩的年轻人( cub的名词复数 ) | |
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38 brews | |
n.(尤指某地酿造的)啤酒( brew的名词复数 );酿造物的种类;(茶)一次的冲泡量;(不同思想、环境、事件的)交融v.调制( brew的第三人称单数 );酝酿;沏(茶);煮(咖啡) | |
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39 austere | |
adj.艰苦的;朴素的,朴实无华的;严峻的 | |
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40 glimmering | |
n.微光,隐约的一瞥adj.薄弱地发光的v.发闪光,发微光( glimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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41 brutal | |
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的 | |
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42 lustful | |
a.贪婪的;渴望的 | |
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43 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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44 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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45 qualms | |
n.不安;内疚 | |
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46 consecutive | |
adj.连续的,联贯的,始终一贯的 | |
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47 privily | |
adv.暗中,秘密地 | |
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48 consolation | |
n.安慰,慰问 | |
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49 inveigled | |
v.诱骗,引诱( inveigle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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50 discretion | |
n.谨慎;随意处理 | |
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51 shipping | |
n.船运(发货,运输,乘船) | |
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52 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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