CHAPTER XXIX

 After my long sickness my drinking continued to be convivial¹. I drank when others drank and I was with them. But, imperceptibly, my need for alcohol took form and began to grow. It was not a body need. I boxed, swam, sailed, rode horses, lived in the open an arrantly² healthful life, and passed life insurance examinations with flying colours. In its inception³, now that I look back upon it, this need for alcohol was a mental need, a nerve need, a good-spirits need. How can I explain?

 

It was something like this. Physiologically⁴, from the standpoint of palate and stomach, alcohol was, as it had always been, repulsive⁵. It tasted no better than beer did when I was five, than bitter claret did when I was seven. When I was alone, writing or studying, I had no need for it. But—I was growing old, or wise, or both, or senile as an alternative. When I was in company I was less pleased, less excited, with the things said and done. Erstwhile worth-while fun and stunts⁶ seemed no longer worth while; and it was a torment⁷ to listen to the insipidities and stupidities of women, to the pompous⁸, arrogant⁹ sayings of the little half-baked men. It is the penalty one pays for reading the books too much, or for being oneself a fool. In my case it does not matter which was my trouble. The trouble itself was the fact. The condition of the fact was mine. For me the life, and light, and sparkle of human intercourse¹⁰ were dwindling¹¹.

 

I had climbed too high among the stars, or, maybe, I had slept too hard. Yet I was not hysterical¹² nor in any way overwrought. My pulse was normal. My heart was an amazement¹³ of excellence¹⁴ to the insurance doctors. My lungs threw the said doctors into ecstasies¹⁵. I wrote a thousand words every day. I was punctiliously¹⁶ exact in dealing¹⁷ with all the affairs of life that fell to my lot. I exercised in joy and gladness. I slept at night like a babe. But—

 

Well, as soon as I got out in the company of others I was driven to melancholy¹⁸ and spiritual tears. I could neither laugh with nor at the solemn utterances¹⁹ of men I esteemed²⁰ ponderous²¹ asses²²; nor could I laugh, nor engage in my old-time lightsome persiflage²³, with the silly superficial chatterings of women, who, underneath²⁴ all their silliness and softness, were as primitive²⁵, direct, and deadly in their pursuit of biological destiny as the monkeys women were before they shed their furry²⁶ coats and replaced them with the furs of other animals.

 

And I was not pessimistic. I swear I was not pessimistic. I was merely bored. I had seen the same show too often, listened too often to the same songs and the same jokes. I knew too much about the box office receipts. I knew the cogs of the machinery²⁷ behind the scenes so well that the posing on the stage, and the laughter and the song, could not drown the creaking of the wheels behind.

 

It doesn't pay to go behind the scenes and see the angel-voiced tenor²⁸ beat his wife. Well, I'd been behind, and I was paying for it. Or else I was a fool. It is immaterial which was my situation. The situation is what counts, and the situation was that social intercourse for me was getting painful and difficult. On the other hand, it must be stated that on rare occasions, on very rare occasions, I did meet rare souls, or fools like me, with whom I could spend magnificent hours among the stars, or in the paradise of fools. I was married to a rare soul, or a fool, who never bored me and who was always a source of new and unending surprise and delight. But I could not spend all my hours solely²⁹ in her company.

 

Nor would it have been fair, nor wise, to compel her to spend all her hours in my company. Besides, I had written a string of successful books, and society demands some portion of the recreative hours of a fellow that writes books. And any normal man, of himself and his needs, demands some hours of his fellow men.

 

And now we begin to come to it. How to face the social intercourse game with the glamour³⁰ gone? John Barleycorn. The ever patient one had waited a quarter of a century and more for me to reach my hand out in need of him. His thousand tricks had failed, thanks to my constitution and good luck, but he had more tricks in his bag. A cocktail³¹ or two, or several, I found, cheered me up for the foolishness of foolish people. A cocktail, or several, before dinner, enabled me to laugh whole-heartedly at things which had long since ceased being laughable. The cocktail was a prod³², a spur, a kick, to my jaded³³ mind and bored spirits. It recrudesced the laughter and the song, and put a lilt into my own imagination so that I could laugh and sing and say foolish things with the liveliest of them, or platitudes³⁴ with verve and intensity³⁵ to the satisfaction of the pompous mediocre³⁶ ones who knew no other way to talk.

 

A poor companion without a cocktail, I became a very good companion with one. I achieved a false exhilaration, drugged myself to merriment. And the thing began so imperceptibly that I, old intimate of John Barleycorn, never dreamed whither it was leading me. I was beginning to call for music and wine; soon I should be calling for madder music and more wine.

 

It was at this time I became aware of waiting with expectancy³⁷ for the pre-dinner cocktail. I WANTED it, and I was CONSCIOUS that I wanted it. I remember, while war-corresponding in the Far East, of being irresistibly³⁸ attracted to a certain home. Besides accepting all invitations to dinner, I made a point of dropping in almost every afternoon. Now, the hostess was a charming woman, but it was not for her sake that I was under her roof so frequently. It happened that she made by far the finest cocktail procurable³⁹ in that large city where drink-mixing on the part of the foreign population was indeed an art. Up at the club, down at the hotels, and in other private houses, no such cocktails⁴⁰ were created. Her cocktails were subtle. They were masterpieces. They were the least repulsive to the palate and carried the most "kick." And yet, I desired her cocktails only for sociability's sake, to key myself to sociable⁴¹ moods. When I rode away from that city, across hundreds of miles of rice-fields and mountains, and through months of campaigning, and on with the victorious⁴² Japanese into Manchuria, I did not drink. Several bottles of whisky were always to be found on the backs of my pack-horses. Yet I never broached⁴³ a bottle for myself, never took a drink by myself, and never knew a desire to take such a drink. Oh, if a white man came into my camp, I opened a bottle and we drank together according to the way of men, just as he would open a bottle and drink with me if I came into his camp. I carried that whisky for social purposes, and I so charged it up in my expense account to the newspaper for which I worked.

 

Only in retrospect⁴⁴ can I mark the almost imperceptible growth of my desire. There were little hints then that I did not take, little straws in the wind that I did not see, little incidents the gravity of which I did not realise.

 

For instance, for some years it had been my practice each winter to cruise for six or eight weeks on San Francisco Bay. My stout⁴⁵ sloop⁴⁶ yacht, the Spray, had a comfortable cabin and a coal stove. A Korean boy did the cooking, and I usually took a friend or so along to share the joys of the cruise. Also, I took my machine along and did my thousand words a day. On the particular trip I have in mind, Cloudesley and Toddy came along. This was Toddy's first trip. On previous trips Cloudesley had elected to drink beer; so I had kept the yacht supplied with beer and had drunk beer with him.

 

But on this cruise the situation was different. Toddy was so nicknamed because of his diabolical⁴⁷ cleverness in concocting⁴⁸ toddies. So I brought whisky along—a couple of gallons. Alas⁴⁹! Many another gallon I bought, for Cloudesley and I got into the habit of drinking a certain hot toddy that actually tasted delicious going down and that carried the most exhilarating kick imaginable.

 

I liked those toddies. I grew to look forward to the making of them. We drank them regularly, one before breakfast, one before dinner, one before supper, and a final one when we went to bed. We never got drunk. But I will say that four times a day we were very genial⁵⁰. And when, in the middle of the cruise, Toddy was called back to San Francisco on business, Cloudesley and I saw to it that the Korean boy mixed toddies regularly for us according to formula.

 

But that was only on the boat. Back on the land, in my house, I took no before breakfast eye-opener, no bed-going nightcap. And I haven't drunk hot toddies since, and that was many a year ago. But the point is, I LIKED those toddies. The geniality⁵¹ of which they were provocative⁵² was marvellous. They were eloquent⁵³ proselyters for John Barleycorn in their own small insidious⁵⁴ way. They were tickles⁵⁵ of the something destined⁵⁶ to grow into daily and deadly desire. And I didn't know, never dreamed—I, who had lived with John Barleycorn for so many years and laughed at all his unavailing attempts to win me.

 

1 convivial   

adj.狂欢的，欢乐的

参考例句：

• The atmosphere was quite convivial.气氛非常轻松愉快。
• I found it odd to imagine a nation of convivial diners surrendering their birthright.我发现很难想象让这样一个喜欢热热闹闹吃饭的民族放弃他们的习惯。

2 arrantly   

adv.声名狼籍地，众目昭彰地

参考例句：

3 inception   

n.开端，开始，取得学位

参考例句：

• The programme has been successful since its inception.这个方案自开始实施以来一直卓有成效。
• Julia's worked for that company from its inception.自从那家公司开办以来，朱莉娅一直在那儿工作。

4 physiologically   

ad.生理上，在生理学上

参考例句：

• Therefore, the liver and gallbladder cannot be completely separated physiologically and pathologically. 因此，肝胆在生理和病理上不能完全分离。
• Therefore, the liver and gallbladder are closely related physiologically and pathologically. 因此，肝胆在生理和病理上紧密联系。

5 repulsive   

adj.排斥的，使人反感的

参考例句：

• She found the idea deeply repulsive.她发现这个想法很恶心。
• The repulsive force within the nucleus is enormous.核子内部的斥力是巨大的。

6 stunts   

n.惊人的表演( stunt的名词复数 )；（广告中）引人注目的花招；愚蠢行为；危险举动v.阻碍…发育[生长]，抑制，妨碍( stunt的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• He did all his own stunts. 所有特技都是他自己演的。
• The plane did a few stunts before landing. 飞机着陆前做了一些特技。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 torment   

n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠

参考例句：

• He has never suffered the torment of rejection.他从未经受过遭人拒绝的痛苦。
• Now nothing aggravates me more than when people torment each other.没有什么东西比人们的互相折磨更使我愤怒。

8 pompous   

adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的

参考例句：

• He was somewhat pompous and had a high opinion of his own capabilities.他有点自大，自视甚高。
• He is a good man underneath his pompous appearance. 他的外表虽傲慢，其实是个好人。

9 arrogant   

adj.傲慢的，自大的

参考例句：

• You've got to get rid of your arrogant ways.你这骄傲劲儿得好好改改。
• People are waking up that he is arrogant.人们开始认识到他很傲慢。

10 intercourse   

n.性交；交流，交往，交际

参考例句：

• The magazine becomes a cultural medium of intercourse between the two peoples.该杂志成为两民族间文化交流的媒介。
• There was close intercourse between them.他们过往很密。

11 dwindling   

adj.逐渐减少的v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The number of wild animals on the earth is dwindling. 地球上野生动物的数量正日渐减少。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He is struggling to come to terms with his dwindling authority. 他正努力适应自己权力被削弱这一局面。 来自辞典例句

12 hysterical   

adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的

参考例句：

• He is hysterical at the sight of the photo.他一看到那张照片就异常激动。
• His hysterical laughter made everybody stunned.他那歇斯底里的笑声使所有的人不知所措。

13 amazement   

n.惊奇，惊讶

参考例句：

• All those around him looked at him with amazement.周围的人都对他投射出惊异的眼光。
• He looked at me in blank amazement.他带着迷茫惊诧的神情望着我。

14 excellence   

n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德

参考例句：

• His art has reached a high degree of excellence.他的艺术已达到炉火纯青的地步。
• My performance is far below excellence.我的表演离优秀还差得远呢。

15 ecstasies   

狂喜( ecstasy的名词复数 )； 出神； 入迷； 迷幻药

参考例句：

• In such ecstasies that he even controlled his tongue and was silent. 但他闭着嘴，一言不发。
• We were in ecstasies at the thought of going home. 一想到回家，我们高兴极了。

16 punctiliously   

参考例句：

• Given the circumstances, his behaviour to Laura had been punctiliously correct. 考虑当时的情况，他对劳拉的举止非常得体。 来自柯林斯例句

17 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。

18 melancholy   

n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的

参考例句：

• All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
• He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过，他感到很郁闷。

19 utterances   

n.发声( utterance的名词复数 )；说话方式；语调；言论

参考例句：

• John Maynard Keynes used somewhat gnomic utterances in his General Theory. 约翰·梅纳德·凯恩斯在其《通论》中用了许多精辟言辞。 来自辞典例句
• Elsewhere, particularly in his more public utterances, Hawthorne speaks very differently. 在别的地方，特别是在比较公开的谈话里，霍桑讲的话则完全不同。 来自辞典例句

20 esteemed   

adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为

参考例句：

• The art of conversation is highly esteemed in France. 在法国十分尊重谈话技巧。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He esteemed that he understood what I had said. 他认为已经听懂我说的意思了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 ponderous   

adj.沉重的，笨重的，(文章)冗长的

参考例句：

• His steps were heavy and ponderous.他的步伐沉重缓慢。
• It was easy to underestimate him because of his occasionally ponderous manner.由于他偶尔现出的沉闷的姿态，很容易使人小看了他。

22 asses   

n. 驴，愚蠢的人，臀部 adv. (常用作后置)用于贬损或骂人

参考例句：

• Sometimes I got to kick asses to make this place run right. 有时我为了把这个地方搞得像个样子，也不得不踢踢别人的屁股。 来自教父部分
• Those were wild asses maybe, or zebras flying around in herds. 那些也许是野驴或斑马在成群地奔跑。

23 persiflage   

n.戏弄；挖苦

参考例句：

• When he spoke of murder,suicide,venereal disease,amputated limbs,and altered faces,it was with a faint air of persiflage.他谈到杀人、自杀、花柳病、断肢、换脸型的时候，隐隐有一种揶揄的神情。
• The persiflage is not appropriate when we are discussing such serious problems.当我们在讨论如此严肃的问题的时候，这种戏谑的言辞是不恰当的。

24 underneath   

adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面

参考例句：

• Working underneath the car is always a messy job.在汽车底下工作是件脏活。
• She wore a coat with a dress underneath.她穿着一件大衣，里面套着一条连衣裙。

25 primitive   

adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物

参考例句：

• It is a primitive instinct to flee a place of danger.逃离危险的地方是一种原始本能。
• His book describes the march of the civilization of a primitive society.他的著作描述了一个原始社会的开化过程。

26 furry   

adj.毛皮的；似毛皮的；毛皮制的

参考例句：

• This furry material will make a warm coat for the winter.这件毛皮料在冬天会是一件保暖的大衣。
• Mugsy is a big furry brown dog,who wiggles when she is happy.马格斯是一只棕色大长毛狗，当她高兴得时候她会摇尾巴。

27 machinery   

n.(总称)机械，机器；机构

参考例句：

• Has the machinery been put up ready for the broadcast?广播器材安装完毕了吗？
• Machinery ought to be well maintained all the time.机器应该随时注意维护。

28 tenor   

n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意

参考例句：

• The tenor of his speech was that war would come.他讲话的大意是战争将要发生。
• The four parts in singing are soprano,alto,tenor and bass.唱歌的四个声部是女高音、女低音、男高音和男低音。

29 solely   

adv.仅仅，唯一地

参考例句：

• Success should not be measured solely by educational achievement.成功与否不应只用学业成绩来衡量。
• The town depends almost solely on the tourist trade.这座城市几乎完全靠旅游业维持。

30 glamour   

n.魔力，魅力；vt.迷住

参考例句：

• Foreign travel has lost its glamour for her.到国外旅行对她已失去吸引力了。
• The moonlight cast a glamour over the scene.月光给景色增添了魅力。

31 cocktail   

n.鸡尾酒；餐前开胃小吃；混合物

参考例句：

• We invited some foreign friends for a cocktail party.我们邀请了一些外国朋友参加鸡尾酒会。
• At a cocktail party in Hollywood,I was introduced to Charlie Chaplin.在好莱坞的一次鸡尾酒会上，人家把我介绍给查理·卓别林。

32 prod   

vt.戳，刺；刺激，激励

参考例句：

• The crisis will prod them to act.那个危机将刺激他们行动。
• I shall have to prod him to pay me what he owes.我将不得不催促他把欠我的钱还给我。

33 jaded   

adj.精疲力竭的；厌倦的；（因过饱或过多而）腻烦的；迟钝的

参考例句：

• I felt terribly jaded after working all weekend. 整个周末工作之后我感到疲惫不堪。
• Here is a dish that will revive jaded palates. 这道菜简直可以恢复迟钝的味觉。 来自《简明英汉词典》

34 platitudes   

n.平常的话，老生常谈，陈词滥调( platitude的名词复数 )；滥套子

参考例句：

• He was mouthing the usual platitudes about the need for more compassion. 他言不由衷地说了些需要更加同情之类的陈腔滥调。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He delivered a long prose full of platitudes. 他发表了一篇充满陈词滥调的文章。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

35 intensity   

n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度

参考例句：

• I didn't realize the intensity of people's feelings on this issue.我没有意识到这一问题能引起群情激奋。
• The strike is growing in intensity.罢工日益加剧。

36 mediocre   

adj.平常的，普通的

参考例句：

• The student tried hard,but his work is mediocre. 该生学习刻苦，但学业平庸。
• Only lazybones and mediocre persons could hanker after the days of messing together.只有懒汉庸才才会留恋那大锅饭的年代。

37 expectancy   

n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额

参考例句：

• Japanese people have a very high life expectancy.日本人的平均寿命非常长。
• The atomosphere of tense expectancy sobered everyone.这种期望的紧张气氛使每个人变得严肃起来。

38 irresistibly   

adv.无法抵抗地，不能自持地；极为诱惑人地

参考例句：

• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside. 她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He was irresistibly attracted by her charm. 他不能自已地被她的魅力所吸引。 来自《简明英汉词典》

39 procurable   

adj.可得到的，得手的

参考例句：

• Just began, 3 suspects rob the vanity of effeminate woman technically, procurable hind sneak away. 刚开始，三名疑犯专门抢劫柔弱女子的手袋，得手后就溜之大吉。

40 cocktails   

n.鸡尾酒( cocktail的名词复数 )；餐前开胃菜；混合物

参考例句：

• Come about 4 o'clock. We'll have cocktails and grill steaks. 请四点钟左右来，我们喝鸡尾酒，吃烤牛排。 来自辞典例句
• Cocktails were a nasty American habit. 喝鸡尾酒是讨厌的美国习惯。 来自辞典例句

41 sociable   

adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的

参考例句：

• Roger is a very sociable person.罗杰是个非常好交际的人。
• Some children have more sociable personalities than others.有些孩子比其他孩子更善于交际。

42 victorious   

adj.胜利的，得胜的

参考例句：

• We are certain to be victorious.我们定会胜利。
• The victorious army returned in triumph.获胜的部队凯旋而归。

43 broached   

v.谈起( broach的过去式和过去分词 )；打开并开始用；用凿子扩大（或修光）；（在桶上）钻孔取液体

参考例句：

• She broached the subject of a picnic to her mother. 她向母亲提起野餐的问题。 来自辞典例句
• He broached the subject to the stranger. 他对陌生人提起那话题。 来自辞典例句

44 retrospect   

n.回顾，追溯；v.回顾，回想，追溯

参考例句：

• One's school life seems happier in retrospect than in reality.学校生活回忆起来显得比实际上要快乐。
• In retrospect,it's easy to see why we were wrong.回顾过去就很容易明白我们的错处了。

46 sloop   

n.单桅帆船

参考例句：

• They heeled the sloop well over,skimming it along to windward.他们使单桅小船倾斜适当，让它顶着风向前滑去。
• While a sloop always has two sails,a cat-rigged boat generally has only one.一艘单桅帆船总是有两面帆，但一艘单桅艇通常只有一面帆。

47 diabolical   

adj.恶魔似的，凶暴的

参考例句：

• This maneuver of his is a diabolical conspiracy.他这一手是一个居心叵测的大阴谋。
• One speaker today called the plan diabolical and sinister.今天一名发言人称该计划阴险恶毒。

48 concocting   

v.将（尤指通常不相配合的）成分混合成某物( concoct的现在分词 )；调制；编造；捏造

参考例句：

• I judged that he was concocting a particularly knotty editorial. 我估计他是在拼凑一篇特别伤脑筋的社论。 来自辞典例句
• 'And you,' returned Sydney, busy concocting the punch, 'are such a sensitive and poetical spirit.' “可你呢，”西德尼一边忙着调五味酒，一边回答，“你却是这样一个敏感而有诗意的精灵。” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

49 alas   

int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)

参考例句：

• Alas!The window is broken!哎呀！窗子破了！
• Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而，真理很少带有浪漫色彩。

50 genial   

adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的

参考例句：

• Orlando is a genial man.奥兰多是一位和蔼可亲的人。
• He was a warm-hearted friend and genial host.他是个热心的朋友，也是友善待客的主人。

51 geniality   

n.和蔼，诚恳；愉快

参考例句：

• They said he is a pitiless,cold-blooded fellow,with no geniality in him.他们说他是个毫无怜悯心、一点也不和蔼的冷血动物。
• Not a shade was there of anything save geniality and kindness.他的眼神里只显出愉快与和气，看不出一丝邪意。

52 provocative   

adj.挑衅的，煽动的，刺激的，挑逗的

参考例句：

• She wore a very provocative dress.她穿了一件非常性感的裙子。
• His provocative words only fueled the argument further.他的挑衅性讲话只能使争论进一步激化。

53 eloquent   

adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的

参考例句：

• He was so eloquent that he cut down the finest orator.他能言善辩，胜过最好的演说家。
• These ruins are an eloquent reminder of the horrors of war.这些废墟形象地提醒人们不要忘记战争的恐怖。

54 insidious   

adj.阴险的，隐匿的，暗中为害的，（疾病）不知不觉之间加剧

参考例句：

• That insidious man bad-mouthed me to almost everyone else.那个阴险的家伙几乎见人便说我的坏话。
• Organized crime has an insidious influence on all who come into contact with it.所有和集团犯罪有关的人都会不知不觉地受坏影响。

55 tickles   

（使）发痒( tickle的第三人称单数 )； （使）愉快，逗乐

参考例句：

• My foot [nose] tickles. 我的脚[鼻子]痒。
• My nose tickles from the dust and I want to scratch it. 我的鼻子受灰尘的刺激发痒，很想搔它。

56 destined   

adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的

参考例句：

• It was destined that they would marry.他们结婚是缘分。
• The shipment is destined for America.这批货物将运往美国。