The light shone out afar;
That beat from Zanzibar.
Spirit of Fire, where'er Thy altars rise.
Thou art Light of Guidance to our eyes!
Salsette Boat-Song.
There is hope for a man who gets publicly and riotously3 drunk more often that he ought to do; but there is no hope for the man who drinks secretly and alone in his own house—the man who is never seen to drink.
This is a rule; so there must be an exception to prove it. Moriarty's case was that exception.
He was a Civil Engineer, and the Government, very kindly4, put him quite by himself in an out-district, with nobody but natives to talk to and a great deal of work to do. He did his work well in the four years he was utterly5 alone; but he picked up the vice6 of secret and solitary7 drinking, and came up out of the wilderness8 more old and worn and haggard than the dead-alive life had any right to make him. You know the saying that a man who has been alone in the jungle for more than a year is never quite sane9 all his life after. People credited Moriarty's queerness of manner and moody10 ways to the solitude11, and said it showed how Government spoilt the futures12 of its best men. Moriarty had built himself the plinth of a very good reputation in the bridge-dam-girder line. But he knew, every night of the week, that he was taking steps to undermine that reputation with L. L. L. and “Christopher” and little nips of liqueurs, and filth13 of that kind. He had a sound constitution and a great brain, or else he would have broken down and died like a sick camel in the district, as better men have done before him.
Government ordered him to Simla after he had come out of the desert; and he went up meaning to try for a post then vacant. That season, Mrs. Reiver—perhaps you will remember her—was in the height of her power, and many men lay under her yoke14. Everything bad that could be said has already been said about Mrs. Reiver, in another tale. Moriarty was heavily-built and handsome, very quiet and nervously15 anxious to please his neighbors when he wasn't sunk in a brown study. He started a good deal at sudden noises or if spoken to without warning; and, when you watched him drinking his glass of water at dinner, you could see the hand shake a little. But all this was put down to nervousness, and the quiet, steady, “sip-sip-sip, fill and sip-sip-sip, again,” that went on in his own room when he was by himself, was never known. Which was miraculous16, seeing how everything in a man's private life is public property out here.
Moriarty was drawn17, not into Mrs. Reiver's set, because they were not his sort, but into the power of Mrs. Reiver, and he fell down in front of her and made a goddess of her. This was due to his coming fresh out of the jungle to a big town. He could not scale things properly or see who was what.
Because Mrs. Reiver was cold and hard, he said she was stately and dignified18. Because she had no brains, and could not talk cleverly, he said she was reserved and shy. Mrs. Reiver shy! Because she was unworthy of honor or reverence19 from any one, he reverenced20 her from a distance and dowered her with all the virtues21 in the Bible and most of those in Shakespeare.
This big, dark, abstracted man who was so nervous when a pony22 cantered behind him, used to moon in the train of Mrs. Reiver, blushing with pleasure when she threw a word or two his way. His admiration23 was strictly24 platonic25: even other women saw and admitted this. He did not move out in Simla, so he heard nothing against his idol26: which was satisfactory. Mrs. Reiver took no special notice of him, beyond seeing that he was added to her list of admirers, and going for a walk with him now and then, just to show that he was her property, claimable as such. Moriarty must have done most of the talking, for Mrs. Reiver couldn't talk much to a man of his stamp; and the little she said could not have been profitable. What Moriarty believed in, as he had good reason to, was Mrs. Reiver's influence over him, and, in that belief, set himself seriously to try to do away with the vice that only he himself knew of.
His experiences while he was fighting with it must have been peculiar27, but he never described them. Sometimes he would hold off from everything except water for a week. Then, on a rainy night, when no one had asked him out to dinner, and there was a big fire in his room, and everything comfortable, he would sit down and make a big night of it by adding little nip to little nip, planning big schemes of reformation meanwhile, until he threw himself on his bed hopelessly drunk. He suffered next morning.
One night, the big crash came. He was troubled in his own mind over his attempts to make himself “worthy of the friendship” of Mrs. Reiver. The past ten days had been very bad ones, and the end of it all was that he received the arrears28 of two and three-quarter years of sipping29 in one attack of delirium30 tremens of the subdued31 kind; beginning with suicidal depression, going on to fits and starts and hysteria, and ending with downright raving32. As he sat in a chair in front of the fire, or walked up and down the room picking a handkerchief to pieces, you heard what poor Moriarty really thought of Mrs. Reiver, for he raved33 about her and his own fall for the most part; though he ravelled some P. W. D. accounts into the same skein of thought. He talked, and talked, and talked in a low dry whisper to himself, and there was no stopping him. He seemed to know that there was something wrong, and twice tried to pull himself together and confer rationally with the Doctor; but his mind ran out of control at once, and he fell back to a whisper and the story of his troubles. It is terrible to hear a big man babbling34 like a child of all that a man usually locks up, and puts away in the deep of his heart. Moriarty read out his very soul for the benefit of any one who was in the room between ten-thirty that night and two-forty-five next morning.
From what he said, one gathered how immense an influence Mrs. Reiver held over him, and how thoroughly35 he felt for his own lapse36. His whisperings cannot, of course, be put down here; but they were very instructive as showing the errors of his estimates.
. . . . . . . . .
When the trouble was over, and his few acquaintances were pitying him for the bad attack of jungle-fever that had so pulled him down, Moriarty swore a big oath to himself and went abroad again with Mrs. Reiver till the end of the season, adoring her in a quiet and deferential37 way as an angel from heaven. Later on he took to riding—not hacking38, but honest riding—which was good proof that he was improving, and you could slam doors behind him without his jumping to his feet with a gasp39. That, again, was hopeful.
How he kept his oath, and what it cost him in the beginning, nobody knows. He certainly managed to compass the hardest thing that a man who has drank heavily can do. He took his peg40 and wine at dinner, but he never drank alone, and never let what he drank have the least hold on him.
Once he told a bosom-friend the story of his great trouble, and how the “influence of a pure honest woman, and an angel as well” had saved him. When the man—startled at anything good being laid to Mrs. Reiver's door—laughed, it cost him Moriarty's friendship. Moriarty, who is married now to a woman ten thousand times better than Mrs. Reiver—a woman who believes that there is no man on earth as good and clever as her husband—will go down to his grave vowing41 and protesting that Mrs. Reiver saved him from ruin in both worlds.
That she knew anything of Moriarty's weakness nobody believed for a moment. That she would have cut him dead, thrown him over, and acquainted all her friends with her discovery, if she had known of it, nobody who knew her doubted for an instant.
Moriarty thought her something she never was, and in that belief saved himself. Which was just as good as though she had been everything that he had imagined.
But the question is, what claim will Mrs. Reiver have to the credit of Moriarty's salvation42, when her day of reckoning comes?
点击收听单词发音
1 corpse | |
n.尸体,死尸 | |
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2 plunging | |
adj.跳进的,突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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3 riotously | |
adv.骚动地,暴乱地 | |
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4 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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5 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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6 vice | |
n.坏事;恶习;[pl.]台钳,老虎钳;adj.副的 | |
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7 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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8 wilderness | |
n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠 | |
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9 sane | |
adj.心智健全的,神志清醒的,明智的,稳健的 | |
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10 moody | |
adj.心情不稳的,易怒的,喜怒无常的 | |
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11 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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12 futures | |
n.期货,期货交易 | |
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13 filth | |
n.肮脏,污物,污秽;淫猥 | |
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14 yoke | |
n.轭;支配;v.给...上轭,连接,使成配偶 | |
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15 nervously | |
adv.神情激动地,不安地 | |
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16 miraculous | |
adj.像奇迹一样的,不可思议的 | |
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17 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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18 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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19 reverence | |
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬 | |
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20 reverenced | |
v.尊敬,崇敬( reverence的过去式和过去分词 );敬礼 | |
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21 virtues | |
美德( virtue的名词复数 ); 德行; 优点; 长处 | |
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22 pony | |
adj.小型的;n.小马 | |
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23 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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24 strictly | |
adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
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25 platonic | |
adj.精神的;柏拉图(哲学)的 | |
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26 idol | |
n.偶像,红人,宠儿 | |
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27 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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28 arrears | |
n.到期未付之债,拖欠的款项;待做的工作 | |
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29 sipping | |
v.小口喝,呷,抿( sip的现在分词 ) | |
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30 delirium | |
n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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31 subdued | |
adj. 屈服的,柔和的,减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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32 raving | |
adj.说胡话的;疯狂的,怒吼的;非常漂亮的;令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话;疯话adv.胡言乱语地;疯狂地 | |
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33 raved | |
v.胡言乱语( rave的过去式和过去分词 );愤怒地说;咆哮;痴心地说 | |
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34 babbling | |
n.胡说,婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 );作潺潺声(如流水);含糊不清地说话;泄漏秘密 | |
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35 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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36 lapse | |
n.过失,流逝,失效,抛弃信仰,间隔;vi.堕落,停止,失效,流逝;vt.使失效 | |
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37 deferential | |
adj. 敬意的,恭敬的 | |
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38 hacking | |
n.非法访问计算机系统和数据库的活动 | |
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39 gasp | |
n.喘息,气喘;v.喘息;气吁吁他说 | |
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40 peg | |
n.木栓,木钉;vt.用木钉钉,用短桩固定 | |
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41 vowing | |
起誓,发誓(vow的现在分词形式) | |
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42 salvation | |
n.(尤指基督)救世,超度,拯救,解困 | |
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