Ride, follow the fox if you can!
But, for pleasure and profit together,
Allow me the hunting of Man,—
The chase of the Human, the search for the Soul
To its ruin,—the hunting of Man.
The Old Shikarri.
I believe the difference began in the matter of a horse, with a twist in his temper, whom Pinecoffin sold to Nafferton and by whom Nafferton was nearly slain1. There may have been other causes of offence; the horse was the official stalking-horse. Nafferton was very angry; but Pinecoffin laughed and said that he had never guaranteed the beast's manners. Nafferton laughed, too, though he vowed2 that he would write off his fall against Pinecoffin if he waited five years. Now, a Dalesman from beyond Skipton will forgive an injury when the Strid lets a man live; but a South Devon man is as soft as a Dartmoor bog3. You can see from their names that Nafferton had the race-advantage of Pinecoffin. He was a peculiar4 man, and his notions of humor were cruel. He taught me a new and fascinating form of shikar. He hounded Pinecoffin from Mithankot to Jagadri, and from Gurgaon to Abbottabad up and across the Punjab, a large province and in places remarkably5 dry. He said that he had no intention of allowing Assistant Commissioners7 to “sell him pups,” in the shape of ramping8, screaming countrybreds, without making their lives a burden to them.
Most Assistant Commissioners develop a bent9 for some special work after their first hot weather in the country. The boys with digestions10 hope to write their names large on the Frontier and struggle for dreary11 places like Bannu and Kohat. The bilious12 ones climb into the Secretariat. Which is very bad for the liver. Others are bitten with a mania13 for District work, Ghuznivide coins or Persian poetry; while some, who come of farmers' stock, find that the smell of the Earth after the Rains gets into their blood, and calls them to “develop the resources of the Province.” These men are enthusiasts14. Pinecoffin belonged to their class. He knew a great many facts bearing on the cost of bullocks and temporary wells, and opium-scrapers, and what happens if you burn too much rubbish on a field, in the hope of enriching used-up soil. All the Pinecoffins come of a landholding breed, and so the land only took back her own again. Unfortunately—most unfortunately for Pinecoffin—he was a Civilian15, as well as a farmer. Nafferton watched him, and thought about the horse. Nafferton said:—“See me chase that boy till he drops!” I said:—“You can't get your knife into an Assistant Commissioner6.” Nafferton told me that I did not understand the administration of the Province.
Our Government is rather peculiar. It gushes16 on the agricultural and general information side, and will supply a moderately respectable man with all sorts of “economic statistics,” if he speaks to it prettily17. For instance, you are interested in gold-washing in the sands of the Sutlej. You pull the string, and find that it wakes up half a dozen Departments, and finally communicates, say, with a friend of yours in the Telegraph, who once wrote some notes on the customs of the gold-washers when he was on construction-work in their part of the Empire. He may or may not be pleased at being ordered to write out everything he knows for your benefit. This depends on his temperament18. The bigger man you are, the more information and the greater trouble can you raise.
Nafferton was not a big man; but he had the reputation of being very earnest. An “earnest” man can do much with a Government. There was an earnest man who once nearly wrecked19... but all India knows THAT story. I am not sure what real “earnestness” is. A very fair imitation can be manufactured by neglecting to dress decently, by mooning about in a dreamy, misty20 sort of way, by taking office-work home after staying in office till seven, and by receiving crowds of native gentlemen on Sundays. That is one sort of “earnestness.”
Nafferton cast about for a peg21 whereon to hang his earnestness, and for a string that would communicate with Pinecoffin. He found both. They were Pig. Nafferton became an earnest inquirer after Pig. He informed the Government that he had a scheme whereby a very large percentage of the British Army in India could be fed, at a very large saving, on Pig. Then he hinted that Pinecoffin might supply him with the “varied information necessary to the proper inception22 of the scheme.” So the Government wrote on the back of the letter:—“Instruct Mr. Pinecoffin to furnish Mr. Nafferton with any information in his power.” Government is very prone23 to writing things on the backs of letters which, later, lead to trouble and confusion.
Nafferton had not the faintest interest in Pig, but he knew that Pinecoffin would flounce into the trap. Pinecoffin was delighted at being consulted about Pig. The Indian Pig is not exactly an important factor in agricultural life; but Nafferton explained to Pinecoffin that there was room for improvement, and corresponded direct with that young man.
You may think that there is not much to be evolved from Pig. It all depends how you set to work. Pinecoffin being a Civilian and wishing to do things thoroughly24, began with an essay on the Primitive25 Pig, the Mythology26 of the Pig, and the Dravidian Pig. Nafferton filed that information—twenty-seven foolscap sheets—and wanted to know about the distribution of the Pig in the Punjab, and how it stood the Plains in the hot weather. From this point onwards, remember that I am giving you only the barest outlines of the affair—the guy-ropes, as it were, of the web that Nafferton spun27 round Pinecoffin.
Pinecoffin made a colored Pig-population map, and collected observations on the comparative longevity28 of the Pig (a) in the sub-montane tracts29 of the Himalayas, and (b) in the Rechna Doab. Nafferton filed that, and asked what sort of people looked after Pig. This started an ethnological excursus on swineherds, and drew from Pinecoffin long tables showing the proportion per thousand of the caste in the Derajat. Nafferton filed that bundle, and explained that the figures which he wanted referred to the Cis-Sutlej states, where he understood that Pigs were very fine and large, and where he proposed to start a Piggery. By this time, Government had quite forgotten their instructions to Mr. Pinecoffin. They were like the gentlemen, in Keats' poem, who turned well-oiled wheels to skin other people. But Pinecoffin was just entering into the spirit of the Pig-hunt, as Nafferton well knew he would do. He had a fair amount of work of his own to clear away; but he sat up of nights reducing Pig to five places of decimals for the honor of his Service. He was not going to appear ignorant of so easy a subject as Pig.
Then Government sent him on special duty to Kohat, to “inquire into” the big-seven-foot, iron-shod spades of that District. People had been killing30 each other with those peaceful tools; and Government wished to know “whether a modified form of agricultural implement31 could not, tentatively and as a temporary measure, be introduced among the agricultural population without needlessly or unduly32 exasperating33 the existing religious sentiments of the peasantry.”
Between those spades and Nafferton's Pig, Pinecoffin was rather heavily burdened.
Nafferton now began to take up “(a) The food-supply of the indigenous34 Pig, with a view to the improvement of its capacities as a flesh-former. (b) The acclimatization of the exotic Pig, maintaining its distinctive35 peculiarities36.” Pinecoffin replied exhaustively that the exotic Pig would become merged37 in the indigenous type; and quoted horse-breeding statistics to prove this. The side-issue was debated, at great length on Pinecoffin's side, till Nafferton owned that he had been in the wrong, and moved the previous question. When Pinecoffin had quite written himself out about flesh-formers, and fibrins, and glucose38 and the nitrogenous constituents39 of maize40 and lucerne, Nafferton raised the question of expense. By this time Pinecoffin, who had been transferred from Kohat, had developed a Pig theory of his own, which he stated in thirty-three folio pages—all carefully filed by Nafferton. Who asked for more.
These things took ten months, and Pinecoffin's interest in the potential Piggery seemed to die down after he had stated his own views. But Nafferton bombarded him with letters on “the Imperial aspect of the scheme, as tending to officialize the sale of pork, and thereby41 calculated to give offence to the Mahomedan population of Upper India.” He guessed that Pinecoffin would want some broad, free-hand work after his niggling, stippling42, decimal details. Pinecoffin handled the latest development of the case in masterly style, and proved that no “popular ebullition of excitement was to be apprehended43.” Nafferton said that there was nothing like Civilian insight in matters of this kind, and lured44 him up a bye-path—“the possible profits to accrue45 to the Government from the sale of hog-bristles46.” There is an extensive literature of hog-bristles, and the shoe, brush, and colorman's trades recognize more varieties of bristles than you would think possible. After Pinecoffin had wondered a little at Nafferton's rage for information, he sent back a monograph47, fifty-one pages, on “Products of the Pig.” This led him, under Nafferton's tender handling, straight to the Cawnpore factories, the trade in hog-skin for saddles—and thence to the tanners. Pinecoffin wrote that pomegranate-seed was the best cure for hog-skin, and suggested—for the past fourteen months had wearied him—that Nafferton should “raise his pigs before he tanned them.”
Nafferton went back to the second section of his fifth question. How could the exotic Pig be brought to give as much pork as it did in the West and yet “assume the essentially48 hirsute49 characteristics of its oriental congener?” Pinecoffin felt dazed, for he had forgotten what he had written sixteen month's before, and fancied that he was about to reopen the entire question. He was too far involved in the hideous50 tangle51 to retreat, and, in a weak moment, he wrote:—“Consult my first letter.” Which related to the Dravidian Pig. As a matter of fact, Pinecoffin had still to reach the acclimatization stage; having gone off on a side-issue on the merging52 of types.
THEN Nafferton really unmasked his batteries! He complained to the Government, in stately language, of “the paucity53 of help accorded to me in my earnest attempts to start a potentially remunerative54 industry, and the flippancy55 with which my requests for information are treated by a gentleman whose pseudo-scholarly attainments56 should at lest have taught him the primary differences between the Dravidian and the Berkshire variety of the genus Sus. If I am to understand that the letter to which he refers me contains his serious views on the acclimatization of a valuable, though possibly uncleanly, animal, I am reluctantly compelled to believe,” etc., etc.
There was a new man at the head of the Department of Castigation57. The wretched Pinecoffin was told that the Service was made for the Country, and not the Country for the Service, and that he had better begin to supply information about Pigs.
Pinecoffin answered insanely that he had written everything that could be written about Pig, and that some furlough was due to him.
Nafferton got a copy of that letter, and sent it, with the essay on the Dravidian Pig, to a down-country paper, which printed both in full. The essay was rather highflown; but if the Editor had seen the stacks of paper, in Pinecoffin's handwriting, on Nafferton's table, he would not have been so sarcastic58 about the “nebulous discursiveness59 and blatant60 self-sufficiency of the modern Competition-wallah, and his utter inability to grasp the practical issues of a practical question.” Many friends cut out these remarks and sent them to Pinecoffin.
I have already stated that Pinecoffin came of a soft stock. This last stroke frightened and shook him. He could not understand it; but he felt he had been, somehow, shamelessly betrayed by Nafferton. He realized that he had wrapped himself up in the Pigskin without need, and that he could not well set himself right with his Government. All his acquaintances asked after his “nebulous discursiveness” or his “blatant self-sufficiency,” and this made him miserable61.
He took a train and went to Nafferton, whom he had not seen since the Pig business began. He also took the cutting from the paper, and blustered62 feebly and called Nafferton names, and then died down to a watery63, weak protest of the “I-say-it's-too-bad-you-know” order.
Nafferton was very sympathetic.
“I'm afraid I've given you a good deal of trouble, haven't I?” said he.
“Trouble!” whimpered Pinecoffin; “I don't mind the trouble so much, though that was bad enough; but what I resent is this showing up in print. It will stick to me like a burr all through my service. And I DID do my best for your interminable swine. It's too bad of you, on my soul it is!”
“I don't know,” said Nafferton; “have you ever been stuck with a horse? It isn't the money I mind, though that is bad enough; but what I resent is the chaff64 that follows, especially from the boy who stuck me. But I think we'll cry quits now.”
Pinecoffin found nothing to say save bad words; and Nafferton smiled ever so sweetly, and asked him to dinner.
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1
slain
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| 杀死，宰杀，杀戮( slay的过去分词 )； (slay的过去分词) | |
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vowed
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| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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bog
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| n.沼泽；室...陷入泥淖 | |
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4
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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5
remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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6
commissioner
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| n.（政府厅、局、处等部门）专员，长官，委员 | |
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7
commissioners
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| n.专员( commissioner的名词复数 )；长官；委员；政府部门的长官 | |
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8
ramping
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| 土堤斜坡( ramp的现在分词 )； 斜道； 斜路； （装车或上下飞机的）活动梯 | |
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9
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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digestions
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| n.消化能力( digestion的名词复数 )；消化，领悟 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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bilious
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| adj.胆汁过多的；易怒的 | |
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13
mania
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| n.疯狂；躁狂症，狂热，癖好 | |
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14
enthusiasts
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| n.热心人，热衷者( enthusiast的名词复数 ) | |
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15
civilian
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| adj.平民的，民用的，民众的 | |
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16
gushes
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| n.涌出，迸发( gush的名词复数 )v.喷，涌( gush的第三人称单数 )；滔滔不绝地说话 | |
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17
prettily
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| adv.优美地；可爱地 | |
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18
temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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19
wrecked
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| adj.失事的，遇难的 | |
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20
misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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21
peg
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| n.木栓，木钉；vt.用木钉钉，用短桩固定 | |
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22
inception
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| n.开端，开始，取得学位 | |
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23
prone
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| adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的 | |
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24
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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25
primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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26
mythology
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| n.神话，神话学，神话集 | |
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27
spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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28
longevity
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| n.长命；长寿 | |
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29
tracts
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| 大片土地( tract的名词复数 )； 地带； （体内的）道； （尤指宣扬宗教、伦理或政治的）短文 | |
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30
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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31
implement
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| n.(pl.)工具，器具；vt.实行，实施，执行 | |
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unduly
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| adv.过度地，不适当地 | |
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33
exasperating
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| adj. 激怒的 动词exasperate的现在分词形式 | |
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34
indigenous
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| adj.土产的，土生土长的，本地的 | |
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35
distinctive
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| adj.特别的，有特色的，与众不同的 | |
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peculiarities
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| n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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merged
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| （使）混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 )； 相融； 融入； 渐渐消失在某物中 | |
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glucose
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| n.葡萄糖 | |
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constituents
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| n.选民( constituent的名词复数 )；成分；构成部分；要素 | |
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maize
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| n.玉米 | |
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41
thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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42
stippling
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| n.点刻法，点画v.加点、绘斑，加粒( stipple的现在分词 )；（把油漆、水泥等的表面）弄粗糙 | |
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43
apprehended
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| 逮捕，拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 )； 理解 | |
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44
lured
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| 吸引，引诱（lure的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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45
accrue
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| v.(利息等)增大，增多 | |
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46
bristles
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| 短而硬的毛发，刷子毛( bristle的名词复数 ) | |
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47
monograph
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| n.专题文章，专题著作 | |
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48
essentially
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| adv.本质上，实质上，基本上 | |
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49
hirsute
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| adj.多毛的 | |
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50
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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51
tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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52
merging
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| 合并（分类） | |
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53
paucity
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| n.小量，缺乏 | |
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54
remunerative
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| adj.有报酬的 | |
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55
flippancy
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| n.轻率；浮躁；无礼的行动 | |
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56
attainments
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| 成就，造诣； 获得( attainment的名词复数 )； 达到； 造诣； 成就 | |
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57
castigation
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| n.申斥，强烈反对 | |
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58
sarcastic
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| adj.讥讽的，讽刺的，嘲弄的 | |
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59
discursiveness
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| n.漫谈离题，推论 | |
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60
blatant
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| adj.厚颜无耻的；显眼的；炫耀的 | |
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61
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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62
blustered
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| v.外强中干的威吓( bluster的过去式和过去分词 )；咆哮；（风）呼啸；狂吹 | |
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63
watery
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| adj.有水的，水汪汪的；湿的，湿润的 | |
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64
chaff
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| v.取笑，嘲笑；n.谷壳 | |
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