This longing grew upon me. I became restless with it. In the daytime I dreamed over my work. At night my sleep was broken and restless. At times I would even wander forth2, at night into the park, and there, deep in the night shadow of the trees, imagine myself alone in the recesses3 of the dark woods remote from the toil4 and fret5 of our distracted civilization.
This increasing feeling culminated6 in the resolve which becomes the
life and become again the wild man of the woods that Nature made me. M
only my union suit—crawl into the woods, stay there a month and then
crawl out again. To a trained woodsman and crawler like myself the thing
was simplicity12 itself. For food I knew that I could rely on berries,
the chocktaw, the choo-choo, the chow-chow, and the hundred and one
Fortunately for me, my resolve came to me upon the last day in August. The month of September was my vacation. My time was my own. I was free to go.
On my rising in the morning my preparations were soon made; or, rather, there were practically no preparations to make. I had but to supply myself with a camera, my one necessity in the woods, and to say good-bye to my friends. Even this last ordeal20 I wished to make as brief as possible. I had no wish to arouse their anxiety over the dangerous, perhaps foolhardy, project that I had in mind. I wished, as far as possible, to say good-bye in such a way as to allay21 the very natural fears which my undertaking22 would excite in the minds of my friends.
From myself, although trained in the craft of the woods, I could not conceal23 the danger that I incurred24. Yet the danger was almost forgotten in the extraordinary and novel interest that attached to the experiment. Would it prove possible for a man, unaided by our civilized arts and industries, to maintain himself naked—except for his union suit—in the heart of the woods? Could he do it, or could he not? And if he couldn’t what then?
But this last thought I put from me. Time alone could answer the question.
As in duty bound, I went first to the place of business where I am employed, to shake hands and say good-bye to my employer.
“I am going,” I said, “to spend a month naked alone in the woods.”
“That’s right,” he said, “get a good rest.”
“My plan is,” I added, “to live on berries and funguses.”
“Fine,” he answered. “Well, have a good time, old man—good-bye.”
“Well,” I said, “I’m off to New England to spend a month naked.”
“Nantucket,” he said, “or Newport?”
“No,” I answered, speaking as lightly as I could. “I’m going into the woods and stay there naked for a month.”
“Oh, yes,” he said. “I see. Well, good-bye, old chap—see you when you get back.”
After that I called upon two or three other men to say a brief word of farewell. I could not help feeling slightly nettled28, I must confess, at the very casual way in which they seemed to take my announcement. “Oh, yes,” they said, “naked in the woods, eh? Well, ta-ta till you get back.”
Here was a man about to risk his life—for there was no denying the fact—in a great sociological experiment, yet they received the announcement with absolute unconcern. It offered one more assurance, had I needed it, of the degenerate29 state of the civilization upon which I was turning my back.
On my way to the train I happened to run into a newspaper reporter with whom I have some acquaintance.
“I’m just off,” I said, “to New England to spend a month naked—at least naked all but my union suit—in the woods; no doubt you’ll like a few details about it for your paper.”
“Thanks, old man,” he said, “we’ve pretty well given up running that nature stuff. We couldn’t do anything with it—unless, of course, anything happens to you. Then we’d be glad to give you some space.”
Several of my friends had at least the decency30 to see me off on the train. One, and one alone accompanied me on the long night-ride to New England in order that he might bring back my clothes, my watch, and other possessions from the point where I should enter the woods, together with such few messages of farewell as I might scribble31 at the last moment.
It was early morning when we arrived at the wayside station where we were to alight. From here we walked to the edge of the woods. Arrived at this point we halted. I took off my clothes, with the exception of my union suit. Then, taking a pot of brown stain from my valise, I proceeded to dye my face and hands and my union suit itself a deep butternut brown.
“What’s that for?” asked my friend.
“For protection,” I answered. “Don’t you know that all animals are protected by their peculiar32 markings that render them invisible? The caterpillar33 looks like the leaf it eats from; the scales of the fish counterfeit34 the glistening35 water of the brook; the bear and the ‘possum are coloured like the tree-trunks on which they climb. There!” I added, as I concluded my task. “I am now invisible.”
“Gee!” said my friend.
I handed him back the valise and the empty paint-pot, dropped to my hands and knees—my camera slung36 about my neck—and proceeded to crawl into the bush. My friend stood watching me.
“What are you doing?” he said.
“Building a house,” I answered.
“I know,” he said with a nod. “What are you here for?”
“Why,” I explained, “my plan is this: I want to see whether a man can come out here in the woods, naked, with no aid but that of his own hands and his own ingenuity37 and—”
“Yes, yes, I know,” interrupted the disconsolate38 man. “Earn himself a livelihood39 in the wilderness40, live as the cave-man lived, carefree and far from the curse of civilization!”
“That’s it. That was my idea,” I said, my enthusiasm rekindling41 as I spoke42. “That’s what I’m doing; my food is to be the rude grass and the roots that Nature furnishes for her children, and for my drink—”
“Yes, yes,” he interrupted again with impatience43, “for your drink the running rill, for your bed the sweet couch of hemlock44, and for your canopy45 the open sky lit with the soft stars in the deep-purple vault46 of the dewy night. I know.”
“Great heavens, man!” I exclaimed. “That’s my idea exactly. In fact, those are my very phrases. How could you have guessed it?”
He made a gesture with his hand to indicate weariness and disillusionment.
“Pshaw!” he said. “I know it because I’ve been doing it. I’ve been here a fortnight now on this open-air, life-in-the-woods game. Well, I’m sick of it! This last lets me out.”
“What last?” I asked.
“Why, meeting you. Do you realize that you are the nineteenth man that I’ve met in the last three days running about naked in the woods? They’re all doing it. The woods are full of them.”
“Fact. Wherever you go in the bush you find naked men all working out this same blasted old experiment. Why, when you get a little farther in you’ll see signs up: NAKED MEN NOT ALLOWED IN THIS BUSH, and NAKED MEN KEEP OFF, and GENTLEMEN WHO ARE NAKED WILL KINDLY48 KEEP TO THE HIGH ROAD, and a lot of things like that. You must have come in at a wrong place or you’d have noticed the little shanties49 that they have now at the edge of the New England bush with signs up: union SUITS BOUGHT AND SOLD, CAMERAS FOR SALE OR TO RENT, HIGHEST PRICE FOR CAST-OFF CLOTHING, and all that sort of thing.”
“No,” I said. “I saw nothing.”
“Well, you look when you go back. As for me, I’m done with it. The thing’s worked out. I’m going back to the city to see whether I can’t, right there in the heart of the city, earn myself a livelihood with my unaided hands and brains. That’s the real problem; no more bumming50 on the animals for me. This bush business is too easy. Well, good-bye; I’m off.”
“But stop a minute,” I said. “How is it that, if what you say is true, I haven’t seen or heard anybody in the bush, and I’ve been here since the middle of the morning?”
“Nonsense,” the man answered. “They were probably all round you but you didn’t recognize them.”
“No, no, it’s not possible. I lay here dreaming beneath a tree and there wasn’t a sound, except the twittering of a squirrel and, far away, the cry of a lake-loon51, nothing else.”
“Exactly, the twittering of a squirrel! That was some feller up the tree twittering to beat the band to let on that he was a squirrel, and no doubt some other feller calling out like a loon over near the lake. I suppose you gave them the answering cry?”
“I did,” I said. “I gave that low guttural note which—”
“Precisely—which is the universal greeting in the freemasonry of animal speech. I see you’ve got it all down pat. Well, good-bye again. I’m off. Oh, don’t bother to growl52, please. I’m sick of that line of stuff.”
“Good-bye,” I said.
He slid through the bushes and disappeared. I sat where I was, musing53, my work interrupted, a mood of bitter disillusionment heavy upon me. So I sat, it may have been for hours.
“Now, who the deuce is making that noise?” I muttered. “Some silly fool, I suppose, trying to think he’s a waterfowl. Cut it out!”
Long I lay, my dream of the woods shattered, wondering what to do.
Then suddenly there came to my ear the loud sound of voices, human voices, strident and eager, with nothing of the animal growl in them.
“He’s in there. I seen him!” I heard some one call.
Rapidly I dived sideways into the underbrush, my animal instinct strong upon me again, growling55 as I went. Instinctively56 I knew that it was I that they were after. All the animal joy of being hunted came over me. My union suit stood up on end with mingled57 fear and rage.
As fast as I could I retreated into the wood. Yet somehow, as I moved, the wood, instead of growing denser58, seemed to thin out. I crouched59 low, still growling and endeavouring to bury myself in the thicket. I was filled with a wild sense of exhilaration such as any lover of the wild life would feel at the knowledge that he is being chased, that some one is after him, that some one is perhaps just a few feet behind him, waiting to stick a pitchfork into him as he runs. There is no ecstasy60 like this.
Then I realized that my pursuers had closed in on me. I was surrounded on all sides.
The woods had somehow grown thin. They were like the mere61 shrubbery of a park—it might be of Central Park itself. I could hear among the deeper tones of men the shrill62 voices of boys. “There he is,” one cried, “going through them bushes! Look at him humping himself!” “What is it, what’s the sport?” another called. “Some crazy guy loose in the park in his underclothes and the cops after him.”
Then they closed in on me. I recognized the blue suits of the police force and their short clubs. In a few minutes I was dragged out of the shrubbery and stood in the open park in my pyjamas63, wide awake, shivering in the chilly64 air of early morning.
Fortunately for me, it was decided65 at the police-court that sleep-walking is not an offence against the law. I was dismissed with a caution.
My vacation is still before me, and I still propose to spend it naked. But I shall do so at Atlantic City.
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1
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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recesses
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| n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 )；（工作或业务活动的）中止或暂停期间；学校的课间休息；某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 )；将（墙）做成凹形，在（墙）上做壁龛；休息，休会，休庭 | |
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4
toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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5
fret
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| v.(使)烦恼；(使)焦急；(使)腐蚀，(使)磨损 | |
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6
culminated
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| v.达到极点( culminate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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7
narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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8
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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9
travail
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| n.阵痛；努力 | |
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10
civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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11
divest
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| v.脱去，剥除 | |
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12
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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13
mosses
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| n. 藓类, 苔藓植物 名词moss的复数形式 | |
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14
fungi
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| n.真菌，霉菌 | |
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15
brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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16
chipmunk
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| n.花栗鼠 | |
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17
glade
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| n.林间空地，一片表面有草的沼泽低地 | |
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18
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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19
thicket
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| n.灌木丛，树林 | |
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20
ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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21
allay
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| v.消除，减轻(恐惧、怀疑等) | |
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22
undertaking
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| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
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23
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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24
incurred
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| [医]招致的，遭受的； incur的过去式 | |
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25
genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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26
kindliness
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| n.厚道，亲切，友好的行为 | |
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27
casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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28
nettled
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| v.拿荨麻打，拿荨麻刺（nettle的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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29
degenerate
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| v.退步，堕落；adj.退步的，堕落的；n.堕落者 | |
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30
decency
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| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
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31
scribble
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| v.潦草地书写，乱写，滥写；n.潦草的写法，潦草写成的东西，杂文 | |
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32
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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caterpillar
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| n.毛虫，蝴蝶的幼虫 | |
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34
counterfeit
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| vt.伪造，仿造；adj.伪造的，假冒的 | |
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35
glistening
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| adj.闪耀的，反光的v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的现在分词 ) | |
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36
slung
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| 抛( sling的过去式和过去分词 )； 吊挂； 遣送； 押往 | |
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37
ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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38
disconsolate
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| adj.忧郁的，不快的 | |
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39
livelihood
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| n.生计，谋生之道 | |
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40
wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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41
rekindling
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| v.使再燃( rekindle的现在分词 ) | |
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42
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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43
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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44
hemlock
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| n.毒胡萝卜，铁杉 | |
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45
canopy
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| n.天篷，遮篷 | |
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46
vault
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| n.拱形圆顶，地窖，地下室 | |
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47
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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48
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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49
shanties
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| n.简陋的小木屋( shanty的名词复数 )；铁皮棚屋；船工号子；船歌 | |
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50
bumming
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| 发哼（声），蜂鸣声 | |
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51
loon
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| n.狂人 | |
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52
growl
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| v.（狗等）嗥叫，（炮等）轰鸣；n.嗥叫，轰鸣 | |
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53
musing
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| n. 沉思，冥想 adj. 沉思的, 冥想的 动词muse的现在分词形式 | |
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54
marsh
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| n.沼泽，湿地 | |
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55
growling
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| n.吠声, 咆哮声 v.怒吠, 咆哮, 吼 | |
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56
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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57
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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58
denser
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| adj. 不易看透的, 密集的, 浓厚的, 愚钝的 | |
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59
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ecstasy
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| n.狂喜，心醉神怡，入迷 | |
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61
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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62
shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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63
pyjamas
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| n.（宽大的）睡衣裤 | |
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64
chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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