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CHAPTER XV LOVE MUST TO SCHOOL
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 Love must to school to learn his alphabet,
 
His wings are shorn, his eyes are dim and wet.
 
He pores on books that once he knew by heart—
 
Poor, foolish Love, to wander and forget.
 
Elizabeth sat quite motionless for half an hour. Then she stirred, bent1 her head for a moment, whilst she listened to David’s regular breathing, and then rose to her feet. She passed through the open door into her own room, and undressed in the dark. Then she lay down and slept.
 
Three times during the night she woke and listened. But David still slept. When she woke up for the third time, the room was full of the greyness of the dawn. She got up and closed the door between the two rooms.
 
Then she lay waking. It had been a strange wedding night.
 
The day dawned cloudy, but broke at noon into a cloudless warmth that was more like June than April.
 
“Take me down the river,” said Elizabeth, and they rowed down for half a mile, and turned the boat into a water-lane where budding willows2 swept down on either side, and brushed the stream.
 
David was very well content to lie in the sun. The strain was gone from him, leaving behind it a weariness beyond words. Every limb, every muscle, every nerve was relaxed. There was a great peace upon him. The air tasted sweet. The light was a pleasant thing. The sky was blue, and so was Elizabeth’s dress, and Elizabeth was a very reposeful3 person. She did not fidget and she did not chatter4. When she spoke5 it was of pleasant things.
 
David recalled a day, ten years ago, when he had sat with her in this very place. He could see himself, full of enthusiasm, full of youth. He could remember how he had talked, and how Elizabeth had listened. She was just the same now. It was he who had changed. Ten years ago seemed to him a very pleasant time, a very pleasant memory. Pictures rose before him—stray words—stray recollections running into a long, soft blur6.
 
 
They came home in the dusk.
 
“Are you going to see Ronnie again?” said Elizabeth, as they landed.
 
“Yes; he couldn’t be doing better, but I’ll look in, and to-morrow Skeffington will go with me so as to get him broken in to the change. We ought to get away all right now.”
 
David waked next day to find the sun shining in at his uncurtained window. From where he lay he could see the young blue of the sky, and all the room seemed full of the sun’s gold. David lay in a lazy contentment watching the motes7 that danced in a long shining beam. There was a new stir of life in his veins8. He stretched out his limbs and was glad of their strength. The sweetness and the glory and the promise of the spring slid into his blood and fired it.
 
“Mary,” he said, still between sleeping and waking—and with the name, memory woke. Suddenly his brain was very clear. He looked straight ahead and saw the door that led into the other room—the room that had been his mother’s. Elizabeth was in that room. He had married Elizabeth—she was his wife. He lay quite still and stared at the door. Elizabeth Chantrey was Elizabeth Blake. She was his wife—and Mary——
 
A sudden spasm9 of laughter caught David by the throat. Mary was what she had promised to be—his sister; Mary was his sister. The spasm of laughter passed, and with it the stir in David’s blood. He was quite cool now. He lay staring at that closed door, and faced the situation.
 
It was a damnable situation, he decided10. He felt as a man might feel who wakes from the delirium11 of weeks, to find that in his madness he has done some intolerable, some irrevocable thing. A man who does not sleep is a man who is not wholly sane12. David looked back and followed the events of the last few months with a critical detachment.
 
He saw the strain growing and growing until, in the end, on the brink13 of the abyss, he had snatched at the relief which Elizabeth offered, as a man who dies of thirst will snatch at water. Well—he had taken Elizabeth’s draught14 of water, his thirst was quenched15, he was his own man again. No, never his own man any more. Never free any more—Elizabeth’s debtor—Elizabeth’s husband.
 
David set his face like a flint—he would pay his debt.
 
He went out as soon as he had breakfasted and walked for a couple of hours. It was a little after noon when he came into the drawing-room where Elizabeth was.
 
The floor was covered with a great many yards of green stuff which she was cutting into curtain lengths. As David came in, she looked up and smiled.
 
“Oh, please,” she said, “if you wouldn’t mind, I shall cut them so much better if you hold one end.”
 
David knelt down and held the stuff, whilst Elizabeth cut it. She came quite close to him at the end, smiled again, and took away the two pieces which he still clutched helplessly.
 
“That’s beautiful,” she said, and sat down and began to sew.
 
David watched her in silence. If she found his gaze embarrassing, she showed no sign.
 
“We can start to-morrow,” he said at last. He gave a list of trains, stopping-places, and hotels, paused at the end of it, walked to the window, and then, turning, said with an effort:
 
“This has been a bad beginning for you, my dear—you’ve been very good to me. You deserve a better bargain, but I’ll do my best.”
 
Elizabeth did not speak at once. David thought that she was not going to speak at all, but after what seemed like a long time she said:
 
“David!” and then stopped.
 
There was a good deal of colour in her cheeks. David saw that she, too, was making an effort.
 
“Well,” he said, and his voice was more natural.
 
“David,” said Elizabeth, “what did you mean by ‘doing your best’?”
 
David met her eyes. He had always liked Elizabeth’s eyes. They were so very clear.
 
“I meant that I’d do my best to make you a good husband,” he said quite simply.
 
Elizabeth’s colour rose higher still. She continued to look at David, because she would have considered it cowardly to look away.
 
“A good husband to my good wife,” she said. “But, David, I don’t think you want a wife just now.”
 
David came across the room and sat down by the table at which Elizabeth was working.
 
“Then why did you marry me, Elizabeth?” he asked.
 
Elizabeth did not turn her head at once.
 
 
“I think what we both want just now,” she said, “is friendship.” Her voice was low, but she kept it steady. “The sort of friendship that is one side of marriage. It is not really possible for a man and a woman to be friends in that sort of way unless they are married. I think you want a friend—I know I do. I think you have been very lonely—one is lonely, and it is worse for a man. He can’t get the home-feeling, and he misses it. You did not marry me because you needed a wife. I don’t think you do. When you want a wife, I will be your wife, but just now——”
 
She broke off. She did not look at David, but David looked at her. He saw how tightly her hands were clasped, he saw the colour flushing in her cheeks. She had great self-control, but that she was deeply moved was very evident.
 
All at once he became conscious of great fatigue16. He had walked far and in considerable distress17 of mind. He had put a very strong constraint18 upon himself. He rested his head on his hand and tried to think. Elizabeth did not speak again. After a time he raised his head. Elizabeth was watching him—her eyes were very soft. A sense of relief came upon David. Just to drift—just to let things go on in the old way, on the old lines. Not for always—just for a time—until he had put Mary out of his thoughts. Their marriage was not an ordinary one. It was for Elizabeth to make what terms she would. And it was a relief—yes, no doubt it was a relief.
 
“If I say, Yes,” he said, “it is only for a time. It is not a very possible situation, you know, Elizabeth—not possible at all in most cases. But just now, just for the present, I admit your right to choose.”
 
Elizabeth’s hands relaxed.
 
“Thank you, David,” she said.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 bent QQ8yD     
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的
参考例句:
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
2 willows 79355ee67d20ddbc021d3e9cb3acd236     
n.柳树( willow的名词复数 );柳木
参考例句:
  • The willows along the river bank look very beautiful. 河岸边的柳树很美。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Willows are planted on both sides of the streets. 街道两侧种着柳树。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
3 reposeful 78163800e0a0c51ebb5d4eacfa55d4b5     
adj.平稳的,沉着的
参考例句:
4 chatter BUfyN     
vi./n.喋喋不休;短促尖叫;(牙齿)打战
参考例句:
  • Her continuous chatter vexes me.她的喋喋不休使我烦透了。
  • I've had enough of their continual chatter.我已厌烦了他们喋喋不休的闲谈。
5 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
6 blur JtgzC     
n.模糊不清的事物;vt.使模糊,使看不清楚
参考例句:
  • The houses appeared as a blur in the mist.房子在薄雾中隐隐约约看不清。
  • If you move your eyes and your head,the picture will blur.如果你的眼睛或头动了,图像就会变得模糊不清。
7 motes 59ede84d433fdd291d419b00863cfab5     
n.尘埃( mote的名词复数 );斑点
参考例句:
  • In those warm beams the motes kept dancing up and down. 只见温暖的光芒里面,微细的灰尘在上下飞扬。 来自辞典例句
  • So I decided to take lots of grammar motes in every class. 因此我决定每堂课多做些语法笔记。 来自互联网
8 veins 65827206226d9e2d78ea2bfe697c6329     
n.纹理;矿脉( vein的名词复数 );静脉;叶脉;纹理
参考例句:
  • The blood flows from the capillaries back into the veins. 血从毛细血管流回静脉。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I felt a pleasant glow in all my veins from the wine. 喝过酒后我浑身的血都热烘烘的,感到很舒服。 来自《简明英汉词典》
9 spasm dFJzH     
n.痉挛,抽搐;一阵发作
参考例句:
  • When the spasm passed,it left him weak and sweating.一阵痉挛之后,他虚弱无力,一直冒汗。
  • He kicked the chair in a spasm of impatience.他突然变得不耐烦,一脚踢向椅子。
10 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
11 delirium 99jyh     
n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋
参考例句:
  • In her delirium, she had fallen to the floor several times. 她在神志不清的状态下几次摔倒在地上。
  • For the next nine months, Job was in constant delirium.接下来的九个月,约伯处于持续精神错乱的状态。
12 sane 9YZxB     
adj.心智健全的,神志清醒的,明智的,稳健的
参考例句:
  • He was sane at the time of the murder.在凶杀案发生时他的神志是清醒的。
  • He is a very sane person.他是一个很有头脑的人。
13 brink OWazM     
n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘,边沿
参考例句:
  • The tree grew on the brink of the cliff.那棵树生长在峭壁的边缘。
  • The two countries were poised on the brink of war.这两个国家处于交战的边缘。
14 draught 7uyzIH     
n.拉,牵引,拖;一网(饮,吸,阵);顿服药量,通风;v.起草,设计
参考例句:
  • He emptied his glass at one draught.他将杯中物一饮而尽。
  • It's a pity the room has no north window and you don't get a draught.可惜这房间没北窗,没有过堂风。
15 quenched dae604e1ea7cf81e688b2bffd9b9f2c4     
解(渴)( quench的过去式和过去分词 ); 终止(某事物); (用水)扑灭(火焰等); 将(热物体)放入水中急速冷却
参考例句:
  • He quenched his thirst with a long drink of cold water. 他喝了好多冷水解渴。
  • I quenched my thirst with a glass of cold beer. 我喝了一杯冰啤酒解渴。
16 fatigue PhVzV     
n.疲劳,劳累
参考例句:
  • The old lady can't bear the fatigue of a long journey.这位老妇人不能忍受长途旅行的疲劳。
  • I have got over my weakness and fatigue.我已从虚弱和疲劳中恢复过来了。
17 distress 3llzX     
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛
参考例句:
  • Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。
  • Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。
18 constraint rYnzo     
n.(on)约束,限制;限制(或约束)性的事物
参考例句:
  • The boy felt constraint in her presence.那男孩在她面前感到局促不安。
  • The lack of capital is major constraint on activities in the informal sector.资本短缺也是影响非正规部门生产经营的一个重要制约因素。


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