At first because she had not wept when Walter died she was ashamed. It seemed dreadfully
callous1. Why, the eyes of the Chinese officer, Colonel Yü, had been wet with tears. She was dazed by her husband's death. It was difficult to understand that he would not come into the
bungalow2 again and that when he got up in the morning she would not hear him take his bath, in the Suchow tub. He was alive and now he was dead. The sisters wondered at her
Christian3 resignation and admired the courage with which she bore her loss. But Waddington was shrewd; for all his grave sympathy she had a feeling that—how should she put it?—that he had his tongue in his cheek. Of course, Walter's death had been a shock to her. She didn't want him to die. But after all she didn't love him, she had never loved him; it was decent to bear herself with becoming sorrow; it would be ugly and vulgar even to let anyone see into her heart; but she had gone through too much to make
pretences4 to herself. It seemed to her that this at least the last few weeks had taught her, that if it is necessary sometimes to lie to others it is always despicable to lie to oneself. She was sorry that Walter had died in that
tragic5 manner, but she was sorry with a
purely6 human sorrow such as she might have felt if it had been an acquaintance. She would acknowledge that Walter had admirable qualities; it just happened that she did not like him; he had always bored her. She would not admit that his death was a relief to her, she could say honestly that if by a word of hers she could bring him back to life she would say it, but she could not resist the feeling that his death made her way to some extent a trifle easier. They would never have been happy together and yet to part would have been terribly difficult. She was startled at herself for feeling as she did; she supposed that people would think her heartless and cruel if they knew. Well, they shouldn't know. She wondered if all her fellows had in their hearts
shameful7 secrets which they spent their time guarding from curious glances.
She looked very little into the future and she made no plans. The only thing she knew was that she wanted to stay in Tching-Yen as short a while as might be. She looked forward to arriving there with horror. It seemed to her that she would like to wander for ever through that smiling and friendly country in her
rattan8 chair, and, an indifferent spectator for ever of the phantasmagoria of life, pass each night under a different roof. But of course the
immediate9 future must be faced: she would go to the hotel when she reached Tching-Yen, she would arrange about getting rid of the house and selling the furniture; there would be no need to see Townsend. He would have the grace to keep out of her way. She would like, all the same, to see him once more in order to tell him what a despicable creature she thought him.
But what did Charles Townsend matter?
Like a rich melody on a
harp10 that rang in
exultant11 arpeggios through the complicated harmonies of a symphony, one thought beat in her heart
insistently12. It was this thought which gave their exotic beauty to the rice fields, which made a little smile break on her pale lips as a smooth-faced lad swung past her on his way to the market town with
exultation13 in his carriage and
audacity14 in his eyes, and which gave the magic of a tumultuous life to the cities she passed through. The city of the
pestilence15 was a prison from which she was escaped, and she had never known before how
exquisite16 was the blueness of the sky and what a joy there was in the bamboo copses that leaned with such an adorable grace across the causeway. Freedom! That was the thought that sung in her heart so that even though the future was so dim, it was
iridescent17 like the mist over the river where the morning sun fell upon it. Freedom! Not only freedom from a bond that irked, and a companionship which
depressed18 her; freedom, not only from the death which had threatened, but freedom from the love that had degraded her; freedom from all spiritual ties, the freedom of a disembodied spirit; and with freedom, courage and a
valiant19 unconcern for whatever was to come.
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收听单词发音
1
callous
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adj.无情的,冷淡的,硬结的,起老茧的 |
参考例句: |
- He is callous about the safety of his workers.他对他工人的安全毫不关心。
- She was selfish,arrogant and often callous.她自私傲慢,而且往往冷酷无情。
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2
bungalow
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n.平房,周围有阳台的木造小平房 |
参考例句: |
- A bungalow does not have an upstairs.平房没有上层。
- The old couple sold that large house and moved into a small bungalow.老两口卖掉了那幢大房子,搬进了小平房。
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3
Christian
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adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 |
参考例句: |
- They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
- His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。
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4
pretences
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n.假装( pretence的名词复数 );作假;自命;自称 |
参考例句: |
- You've brought your old friends out here under false pretences. 你用虚假的名义把你的那些狐朋狗党带到这里来。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
- There are no pretences about him. 他一点不虚伪。 来自辞典例句
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5
tragic
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adj.悲剧的,悲剧性的,悲惨的 |
参考例句: |
- The effect of the pollution on the beaches is absolutely tragic.污染海滩后果可悲。
- Charles was a man doomed to tragic issues.查理是个注定不得善终的人。
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6
purely
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adv.纯粹地,完全地 |
参考例句: |
- I helped him purely and simply out of friendship.我帮他纯粹是出于友情。
- This disproves the theory that children are purely imitative.这证明认为儿童只会单纯地模仿的理论是站不住脚的。
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7
shameful
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adj.可耻的,不道德的 |
参考例句: |
- It is very shameful of him to show off.他向人炫耀自己,真不害臊。
- We must expose this shameful activity to the newspapers.我们一定要向报社揭露这一无耻行径。
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8
rattan
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n.藤条,藤杖 |
参考例句: |
- When they reached a long bridge fastened with rattan strips,everyone got out and walked.走到那顶藤条扎的长桥,大家都下车步行。
- Rattan furniture,include rattan chair,rattan table,and so on.藤器家具包括藤椅藤桌等等。
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9
immediate
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adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 |
参考例句: |
- His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
- We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。
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10
harp
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n.竖琴;天琴座 |
参考例句: |
- She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。
- He played an Irish melody on the harp.他用竖琴演奏了一首爱尔兰曲调。
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11
exultant
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adj.欢腾的,狂欢的,大喜的 |
参考例句: |
- The exultant crowds were dancing in the streets.欢欣的人群在大街上跳起了舞。
- He was exultant that she was still so much in his power.他仍然能轻而易举地摆布她,对此他欣喜若狂。
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12
insistently
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ad.坚持地 |
参考例句: |
- Still Rhett did not look at her. His eyes were bent insistently on Melanie's white face. 瑞德还是看也不看她,他的眼睛死死地盯着媚兰苍白的脸。
- These are the questions which we should think and explore insistently. 怎样实现这一主体性等问题仍要求我们不断思考、探索。
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13
exultation
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n.狂喜,得意 |
参考例句: |
- It made him catch his breath, it lit his face with exultation. 听了这个名字,他屏住呼吸,乐得脸上放光。
- He could get up no exultation that was really worthy the name. 他一点都激动不起来。
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14
audacity
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n.大胆,卤莽,无礼 |
参考例句: |
- He had the audacity to ask for an increase in salary.他竟然厚着脸皮要求增加薪水。
- He had the audacity to pick pockets in broad daylight.他竟敢在光天化日之下掏包。
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15
pestilence
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n.瘟疫 |
参考例句: |
- They were crazed by the famine and pestilence of that bitter winter.他们因那年严冬的饥饿与瘟疫而折磨得发狂。
- A pestilence was raging in that area. 瘟疫正在那一地区流行。
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16
exquisite
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adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 |
参考例句: |
- I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
- I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。
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17
iridescent
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adj.彩虹色的,闪色的 |
参考例句: |
- The iridescent bubbles were beautiful.这些闪着彩虹般颜色的大气泡很美。
- Male peacocks display their iridescent feathers for prospective female mates.雄性孔雀为了吸引雌性伴侣而展现了他们彩虹色的羽毛。
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18
depressed
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adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的 |
参考例句: |
- When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
- His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。
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19
valiant
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adj.勇敢的,英勇的;n.勇士,勇敢的人 |
参考例句: |
- He had the fame of being very valiant.他的勇敢是出名的。
- Despite valiant efforts by the finance minister,inflation rose to 36%.尽管财政部部长采取了一系列果决措施,通货膨胀率还是涨到了36%。
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