"G.J., who is your oldest and dearest friend?"
"Difficult to say, off-hand."
"Not at all. It's your beard."
That was her greeting to him. He knew she was recalling an old declined suggestion of hers that he should part with his beard. The parlour-maid practised an admirable deafness, faithfully to confirm Concepcion, who always presumed deafness in all servants. G.J. looked up the narrow well of the staircase. He could vaguely4 see Concepcion on high, leaning over the banisters; he thought she was rather fluffilly dressed, for her.
Concepcion inhabited an upper part in a street largely devoted5 to the sale of grand pianos. Her front door was immediately at the top of a long, straight, narrow stairway; so that whoever opened the door stood one step higher than the person desiring entrance. Within the abode, which was fairly spacious6, more and more stairs went up and up. "My motto is," she would say, "'One room, one staircase.'" The life of the abode was on the busy stairs. She called it also her Alpine7 Club. She had made upper-parts in that street popular among the select, and had therefore caused rents to rise. In the drawing-room she had hung a horrible enlarged photographic portrait of herself, with a chocolate-coloured mount, the whole framed in German gilt8, and under it she had inscribed9, "Presented to Miss Concepcion Iquist by the grateful landlords of the neighbourhood as a slight token of esteem10 and regard."
She was the only daughter of Iquist's brother, who had had a business and a palace at Lima. At the age of eighteen, her last surviving parent being dead, she had come to London and started to keep house for the bachelor Iquist, who at that very moment, owing to a fortunate change in the Ministry11, had humorously entered the Cabinet. These two had immediately become "the most talked-of pair in London," London in this phrase signifying the few thousand people who do talk about the doings of other people unknown to them and being neither kings, princes, statesmen, artistes, artists, jockeys, nor poisoners. The Iquists had led the semi-intelligent, conscious-of-its-audience set which had ousted12 the old, quite unintelligent stately-homes-of-England set from the first place in the curiosity of the everlasting13 public. Concepcion had wit. It was stated that she furnished her uncle with the finest of his mots. When Iquist died, of course poor Concepcion had retired14 to the upper part, whence, though her position was naturally weakened, she still took a hand in leading the set.
G.J. had grown friendly and appreciative15 of her, for the simple reason that she had singled him out and always tried to please him, even when taking liberties with him. He liked her because she was different from her set. She had a masculine mind, whereas many even of the males of her set had a feminine mind. She was exceedingly well educated; she had ideas on everything; and she never failed in catching16 an allusion17. She would criticise18 her set very honestly; her attitude to it and to herself seemed to be that of an impartial19 and yet indulgent philosopher; withal she could be intensely loyal to fools and worse who were friends. As for the public, she was apparently20 convinced of the sincerity21 of her scorn for it, while admitting that she enjoyed publicity22, which had become indispensable to her as a drug may become indispensable. Moreover, there was her wit and her candid23, queer respect for G.J.
Yes, he had greatly admired her for her qualities. He did not, however, greatly admire her physique. She was tall, with a head scarcely large enough for her body. She had a nice snub nose which in another woman might have been irresistible24. She possessed25 very little physical charm, and showed very little taste in her neat, prim26 frocks. Not merely had she a masculine mind, but she was somewhat hard, a self-confessed egoist. She swore like the set, using about one "damn" or one "bloody27" to every four cigarettes, of which she smoked, perhaps, fifty a day—including some in taxis. She discussed the sexual vagaries28 of her friends and her enemies with a freedom and an apparent learning which were remarkable29 in a virgin30.
In the end she had married Carlos Smith, and, characteristically, had received him into her own home instead of going to his; as a fact, he had none, having been a parent's close-kept darling. London had only just recovered from the excitations of the wedding. G.J. had regarded the marriage with benevolence31, perhaps with relief.
"Anybody else coming to lunch?" he discreetly32 inquired of his familiar, the parlour-maid.
She breathed a negative.
He had guessed it. Concepcion had meant to be alone with him. Having married for love, and her husband being rapt away by the war, she intended to resume her old, honest, quasi-sentimental relations with G.J. A reliable and experienced bachelor is always useful to a young grass-widow, and, moreover, the attendant hopeless adorer nourishes her hungry egotism as nobody else can. G.J. thought these thoughts, clearly and callously33, in the same moment as, mounting the next flight of stairs, he absolutely trembled with sympathetic anguish34 for Concepcion. His errand was an impossible one; he feared, or rather he hoped, that the very look on his face might betray the dreadful news to that undeceivable intuition which women were supposed to possess. He hesitated on the stairs; he recoiled35 from the top step—(she had coquettishly withdrawn36 herself into the room)—he hadn't the slightest idea how to begin. Yes, the errand was an impossible one, and yet such errands had to be performed by somebody, were daily being performed by somebodies. Then he had the idea of telephoning privily37 to fetch her cousin Sara. He would open by remarking casually38 to Concepcion:
"I say, can I use your telephone a minute?" He found a strange Concepcion in the drawing-room. This was his first sight of Mrs. Carlos Smith since the wedding. She wore a dress such as he had never seen on her: a tea-gown—and for lunch! It could be called neither neat nor prim, but it was voluptuous39. Her complexion40 had bloomed; the curves of her face were softer, her gestures more abandoned, her gaze full of a bold and yet shamed self-consciousness, her dark hair looser. He stood close to her; he stood within the aura of her recently aroused temperament41, and felt it. He thought, could not help thinking: "Perhaps she bears within her the legacy42 of new life." He could not help thinking of her name. He took her hot hand. She said nothing, but just looked at him. He then said jauntily43:
"I say, can I use your telephone a minute?" Fortunately, the telephone was in the bedroom. He went farther upstairs and shut himself in the bedroom, and saw naught44 but the telephone surrounded by the mysterious influences of inanimate things in the gay, crowded room.
"Is that you, Mrs. Trevise? It's G.J. speaking. G.J.... Hoape. Yes. Listen. I'm at Concepcion's for lunch, and I want you to come over as quickly as you can. I've got very bad news indeed—the worst possible. Carlos has been killed at the Front. What? Yes, awful, isn't it? She doesn't know. I have the job of telling her."
Now that the words had been spoken in Concepcion's abode the reality of Carlos Smith's death seemed more horribly convincing than before. And G.J., speaker of the words, felt almost as guilty as though he himself were responsible for the death. When he had rung off he stood motionless in the room until the opening of the door startled him. Concepcion appeared.
"If you've done corrupting45 my innocent telephone ..." she said, "lunch is cooling."
He felt a murderer.
At the lunch-table she might have been a genuine South American. Nobody could be less like Christine than she was; and yet in those instants she incomprehensibly reminded him of Christine. Then she started to talk in her old manner of a professional and renowned46 talker. G.J. listened attentively47. They ate. It was astounding48 that he could eat. And it was rather surprising that she did not cry out: "G.J. What the devil's the matter with you to-day?" But she went on talking evenly, and she made him recount his doings. He related the conversation at the club, and especially what Bob, the retired judge, had said about equilibrium49 on the Western Front. She did not want to hear anything as to the funeral.
"We'll have champagne50," she said suddenly to the parlour-maid, who was about to offer some red wine. And while the parlour-maid was out of the room she said to G.J., "There isn't a country in Europe where champagne is not a symbol, and we must conform."
"A symbol of what?"
"Ah! The unusual."
"And what is there unusual to-day?" he almost asked, but did not ask. It would, of course, have been utterly51 monstrous52 to put such a question, knowing what he knew. He thought: I'm not a bit nearer telling her than I was when I came.
After the parlour-maid had poured out the champagne Concepcion picked up her glass and absently glanced through it and said:
"You know, G.J., I shouldn't be in the least surprised to hear that Carly was killed out there. I shouldn't, really."
"You needn't look at me like that," she said. "I'm quite serious. One may as well face the risks. He does. Of course they're all heroes. There are millions of heroes. But I do honestly believe that my Carly would be braver than anyone. By the way, did I ever tell you he was considered the best shot in Cheshire?"
"No. But I knew," answered G.J. feebly. He would have expected her to be a little condescending54 towards Carlos, to whom in brains she was infinitely55 superior. But no! Carlos had mastered her, and she was grateful to him for mastering her. He had taught her in three weeks more than she had learnt on two continents in thirty years. She talked of him precisely56 as any wee wifie might have talked of the soldier-spouse. And she called him "Carly"!
Neither of them had touched the champagne. G.J. decided57 that he would postpone58 any attempt to tell her until her cousin arrived; her cousin might arrive at any moment now.
While the parlour-maid presented potatoes Concepcion deliberately59 ignored her and said dryly to G.J.:
"I can't eat any more. I think I ought to run along to Debenham and Freebody's at once. You might come too, and be sure to bring your good taste with you."
He was alarmed by her tone.
"Debenham and Freebody's! What for?"
"To order mourning, of course. To have it ready, you know. A precaution, you know." She laughed.
He saw that she was becoming hysterical60: the special liability of the war-bride for whom the curtain has been lifted and falls exasperatingly61, enragingly, too soon.
"You think I'm a bit hysterical?" she questioned, half menacingly, and stood up.
"I think you'd better sit down, to begin with," he said firmly.
The parlour-maid, blushing slightly, left the room.
"Oh, all right!" Concepcion agreed carelessly, and sat down. "But you may as well read that."
She drew a telegram from the low neck of her gown and carefully unfolded it and placed it in front of him. It was a War Office telegram announcing that Carlos had been killed.
"It came ten minutes before you," she said.
"Why didn't you tell me at once?" he murmured, frightfully shocked. He was actually reproaching her!
She stood up again. She lived; her breast rose and fell. Her gown had the same voluptuousness62. Her temperament was still emanating63 the same aura. She was the same new Concepcion, strange and yet profoundly known to him. But ineffable64 tragedy had marked her down, and the sight of her parched65 the throat.
She said:
"Couldn't. Besides, I had to see if I could stand it. Because I've got to stand it, G.J.... And, moreover, in our set it's a sacred duty to be original."
She snatched the telegram, tore it in two, and pushed the pieces back into her gown.
The next moment she fell to the floor, at full length on her back. G.J. sprang to her, kneeling on her rich, outspread gown, and tried to lift her.
"No, no!" she protested faintly, dreamily, with a feeble frown on her pale forehead. "Let me lie. Equilibrium has been established on the Western Front."
This was her greatest mot.
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1
abode
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| n.住处，住所 | |
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schooling
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| n.教育；正规学校教育 | |
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abruptness
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| n. 突然，唐突 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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alpine
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| adj.高山的；n.高山植物 | |
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8
gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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9
inscribed
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；内接 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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ministry
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| n.(政府的)部；牧师 | |
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12
ousted
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| 驱逐( oust的过去式和过去分词 )； 革职； 罢黜； 剥夺 | |
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13
everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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15
appreciative
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| adj.有鉴赏力的，有眼力的；感激的 | |
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16
catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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18
criticise
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| v.批评，评论；非难 | |
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19
impartial
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| adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的 | |
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20
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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21
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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publicity
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| n.众所周知，闻名；宣传，广告 | |
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candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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24
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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prim
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| adj.拘泥形式的，一本正经的；n.循规蹈矩，整洁；adv.循规蹈矩地，整洁地 | |
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bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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28
vagaries
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| n.奇想( vagary的名词复数 )；异想天开；异常行为；难以预测的情况 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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virgin
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| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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32
discreetly
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| ad.(言行)审慎地，慎重地 | |
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callously
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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35
recoiled
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| v.畏缩( recoil的过去式和过去分词 )；退缩；报应；返回 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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privily
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| adv.暗中，秘密地 | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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voluptuous
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| adj.肉欲的，骄奢淫逸的 | |
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40
complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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42
legacy
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| n.遗产，遗赠；先人(或过去)留下的东西 | |
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43
jauntily
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| adv.心满意足地；洋洋得意地；高兴地；活泼地 | |
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44
naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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45
corrupting
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| （使）败坏( corrupt的现在分词 )； （使）腐化； 引起（计算机文件等的）错误； 破坏 | |
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46
renowned
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| adj.著名的，有名望的，声誉鹊起的 | |
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47
attentively
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| adv.聚精会神地；周到地；谛；凝神 | |
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48
astounding
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| adj.使人震惊的vt.使震惊，使大吃一惊astound的现在分词) | |
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49
equilibrium
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| n.平衡，均衡，相称，均势，平静 | |
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50
champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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51
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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52
monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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53
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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54
condescending
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| adj.谦逊的,故意屈尊的 | |
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55
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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56
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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57
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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postpone
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| v.延期，推迟 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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60
hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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61
exasperatingly
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62
voluptuousness
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| n.风骚，体态丰满 | |
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63
emanating
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的现在分词 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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64
ineffable
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| adj.无法表达的，不可言喻的 | |
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parched
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| adj.焦干的；极渴的；v.（使）焦干 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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lodge
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| v.临时住宿，寄宿，寄存，容纳；n.传达室，小旅馆 | |
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