Colonel Hullocher had vanished out of his world, and he had been sent to another and still more frowzy1 public-house which was the Headquarters of No. 2 Battery of the Second Brigade. He was allotted2 to No. 2 Battery, subject to the approval of Major Craim, the commanding officer. Major Craim was young and fair and benevolent3, and at once approvingly welcomed George, who thereupon became the junior subaltern of the Battery. The other half-dozen officers, to whom he was introduced one by one as they came in, seemed amiable4 and very well-mannered, if unduly5 excited. When, immediately before lunch, the Major was called away to lunch with Colonel Hullocher, the excitement of the mess seemed to boil over. The enormous fact was that the whole Division—yeomanry, infantry6, and artillery7—had been ordered to trek8 southward the next morning. The Division was not ready to trek; in particular the Second Brigade of its artillery, and quite specially9 Battery No. 2 of the Second Brigade, was not ready to trek. Nevertheless it would trek. It might even trek to France. Southward was Franceward, and there were those who joyously10 believed that this First Line Territorial11 Division was destined12 to lead the Territorial Army in France.
All the officers had a schoolboyish demeanour; all of them called one another by diminutives13 ending in 'y'; all of them were pretty young. But George soon divided them into two distinct groups—those who worried about the smooth working of the great trek, and those who did not. Among the former was Captain Resmith, the second in command, a dark man with a positive, strong voice, somewhat similar to George in appearance. Captain Resmith took George very seriously, and promised to initiate14 him personally into as many technical mysteries as could be compressed into one afternoon. Then a Major Tumulty, middle-aged15 and pale, came hurriedly into the stuffy16 room and said without any prologue17:
"Now I must have one of you chaps this afternoon. Otherwise I promise you you won't get all the things you want."
Silence fell on the mess.
"The C.O. isn't here, sir," said Captain Resmith.
"I can't help that. I'm not going alone."
George only knew about Major Tumulty that he was Major Tumulty and that he did not belong to No. 2 Battery. So far as George was concerned he was a major in the air. After drinking a glass of port with the mess, Major Tumulty suddenly remembered that he was in a hurry, and took George off and put him into a scarlet19 London-General motor-bus that was throbbing20 at the door of the public-house, with an ordinary civilian21 driver at the steering-wheel and a soldier on the step. George felt like a parcel; he had no choice of movement, no responsibility, no knowledge. The mentality22 of a parcel was not disagreeable to him. But at times, vaguely23 uneasy, he would start out of it, and ask himself: "What is wrong?" And then the vision of a distant, half-forgotten street called Elm Park Road would rise in his mind and he would remember: "My wife is very ill, and everything is upset at home."
The motor-bus travelled a few yards and stopped; and out of yet another office a soldier carried, staggering, a heavy bag with a brass24 lock, and dropped it on the floor of the bus between the Major and George; and the bus, after a good imitation by the soldier-conductor of a professional double ting on the bell, went away afresh.
"That's money," said the Major, in his mild, veiled voice, pointing to the bag.
Little by little George learnt that the Major had 'won' the bus 'out of' the War Office, and had been using it daily for several days for the purpose of buying and collecting urgent stores and equipment. The bus had become celebrated25 within the Division in an astoundingly short time, and on this, the last day preceding the trek, the various units had burdened the good-natured Major with a multitude of commissions.
"I try to keep accounts," said the Major. "But I know I've made a loss every day. I've been in the T.F. ever since there was one, and it has always cost me money. Now, I shall put you in charge of this little book."
The little book was a penny account-book, with pages lettered in pencil A, B, C, D, etc., and items scribbled26 on each page.
"The letters show the batteries," the Major explained. "I've got a key to the batteries somewhere in my pocket. And here's what I call my grand list." He produced a roll of foolscap. "I like everything orderly. It saves so much trouble, doesn't it? I mean in the end. Now, as I buy things I shall strike them off here, and I want you to strike them off in your book and put down the price from the bill. I always insist on a receipted bill. It saves so much trouble in the end. I meant to bring a file or a clip for the bills, but I forgot. You understand, don't you?"
George answered solemnly and sharply:
"Yes, sir."
The Major weakly cried:
"Hall!"
"Yessir!" The soldier-conductor came to attention.
"Did you tell him to go to Harrods first?"
"Yessir!"
"I think we might go and sit on the top," said the Major. "It's a nice afternoon."
So the two officers went and sat on the top of the motor-bus. The Major gossiped with soothing27 tranquillity28. He said that he was a pianoforte manufacturer; his father, from whom he had inherited, had traded under a German name because people preferred German pianos to English; he now regretted this piece of astuteness29 on the part of his father; he was trying to sell his business—he had had enough of it.
"Hi! You!" he called, standing30 up quite unexpectedly and leaning over the front of the bus to hail the driver. "Hi! You!" But the driver did not hear, and the bus drove forward like fate. The Major, who had hitherto seemed to be exempt31 from the general perturbation of Wimbledon troops, suddenly showed excitement. "We must stop this bus somehow! Why the devil doesn't he stop? I've forgotten the rope-shop."
" I'll stop it, sir," said George, maintaining an admirable presence of mind in the crisis, and he rose and pushed down the knob of the signal-rod at the back of the bus. The bus did actually stop.
"Ah!" murmured the Major, calmed.
The soldier raced upstairs.
"Hall!"
"Yessir."
"Do you know a rope and string shop near the Granville Theatre of Varieties at Walham Green?"
"No, sir."
"Well, there is one. Tell him to stop at the Granville."
"Yessir."
The Major resumed his bland32 conversation. At Putney they saw the first contents-bill of the afternoon papers.
"How do you think things are going, sir?" George asked.
"It's very difficult to say," answered the Major. "This Mons business is serious."
"Yes, sir."
The discovery of the rope-shop involved a policeman's aid. When the rope had been purchased and new silver brought forth33 from the bag, and the receipt made out, and the item struck off and the amount entered, and the bus had started again, George perceived that he would soon be passing the end of Elm Park Gardens. Dared he ask the Major to deflect34 the bus into Elm Park Road so that he might obtain news of Lois? He dared not. The scheme, simple and feasible enough, was nevertheless unthinkable. The bus, with 'Liverpool Street' inscribed35 on its forehead, rolled its straight inevitable36 course along Fulham Road, pursued by the disappointed glances of gesturing wayfarers37 who wanted it to take them to Liverpool Street.
After about two hours of fine confused shopping the Major stopped his bus at a Tube station in the north of London.
"I mustn't forget my pens," said he. "I have to spend three-quarters of my time mewed up in the office, and I don't grumble38; but I'm very particular about nibs39, and if I don't have my own I cannot work. It's useless to expect it."
Then to the soldier:
"Hall! You go down to Partridge & Cooper's, at the corner of Chancery Lane and Fleet Street, and buy a sixpenny box of their 'No. 6 Velvet40' pen-nibs. You understand: 'No. 6 Velvet.'"
"Yessir. With the bus, sir?"
" With the bus. Here's sixpence." He took a coin out of the bag, locked it, and gave the key to George. "And keep an eye on this bag, my boy. You will then come back and wait for us—let me see—outside Piccadilly Tube Station in Jermyn Street."
"Yessir."
The Major and George entered the North London station and proceeded to the lift.
"Tickets!" demanded the lift-man.
The Major halted and gazed at him.
"On service!" said the Major, with resentment41 and disdain42. "A fortnight ago you civilians43 were raising your hats to us. Now you ask us for tickets! Haven't you grasped yet that there's a war on? Don't you think you'd look better in khaki?" He showed excitement, as at every personal encounter.
The lift-man bowed his head, inarticulately muttering, and the officers passed into the lift, having created a certain amount of interest among the other passengers. The Major was tranquillized in a moment. They came to the surface again at Piccadilly Circus, where at the lift a similar scene occurred.
"Well, sir—"
"I never wear them myself. I'm rather old-fashioned. But I have to buy three pairs—suits for Colonel Hullocher—at Swan & Edgar's. Oh! Bother it! Have you any money? I forgot to take some out of the bag."
The Major purchased the pyjamas with George's money, and his attitude towards the shopman during the transaction was defiant45, indicating to the shopman that, though personally he, the Major, never wore pyjamas, he was an expert in pyjamas and not to be gulled46. George took the resulting parcel and the receipted bill, and they walked across to Jermyn Street, where surely the bus, with the sixpenny box of pens, was waiting for them. It was perfectly47 magical. As the vehicle swung with them into the Circus the Major exclaimed:
"We're getting on very well. What do you say to some tea?"
"Certainly, sir."
The bus, having stopped by order at the second tea-house on the left in Piccadilly, was immediately assaulted, without success, by several would-be passengers. A policeman, out raged by the spectacle of a bus stationary48 at a spot where buses are absolutely forbidden to be stationary, hurried forward in fury. But the Major, instantly excited, was ready for him.
"This motor-bus is a military vehicle on service, and I'll thank you to mind your own business. If you've any complaints to make, you'd better make them to Lord Kitchener."
The policeman touched his hat.
"They have music here," said the Major mildly, entering the tea-house. "I always like music. Makes things so much jollier, doesn't it?"
During tea the Major inquired about George's individual circumstances, and George said that he was an architect.
"Student of bricks and mortar49, eh?" said the Major benevolently50. "How long have you been in the Army?"
"Rather less than half a day, sir."
The Major, raising his eyebrows51, was very interested and kind. Perceiving that he had virgin52 material under his hands, he began to shape the material, and talked much about the niceties of the etiquette53 of saluting54. George listened, yet at intervals55 his attention would wander, and he would be in Elm Park Road. But the illusion of home was very faint. His wife and family seemed to be slipping away from him. "How is it," he thought, "that I am not more upset about Lois than I am?" The various professional and family matters which in his haste he had left unsettled were diminishing hourly in their apparent importance. He came back to the tea-house with a start, hearing the Major praise his business capacity as displayed during the afternoon. The friendly aspect of the thin, pallid56 face inspired him with a sort of emotional audacity57, and in ten words he suddenly informed the Major of his domestic situation.
"H'm!" said the Major. "I'm a bachelor myself."
There was a pause.
"I'll give you a tip," said the Major, resuming the interrupted topic. "War is a business. The more business capacity you have, the more likely you are to succeed. I'm a business man myself."
On leaving the tea-house they discovered the military vehicle surrounded by an enchanted58 multitude who were staring through its windows at the merchandise—blankets, pans, kettles, saddles, ropes, parcels, stoves, baskets, and box of nibs—within, while the policeman strove in vain to keep both the road and the pavement clear. George preceded the Major, pushing aside with haughty59 military impatience60 the civilians so reluctant to move. He felt as though he had been in the Army for years. No longer did his uniform cause him the slightest self-consciousness.
At Wimbledon in the dusk the bus was met by several military wagons61 each from a different unit, and each anxious to obtain goods. This piece of organization rather impressed George.
"Well, my boy," said the Major, "you'd better go and report yourself. You've been a great help to me."
George saluted62 according to the Major's own doctrine63, and departed. At Battery Headquarters he met Captain Resmith.
"How did you get on with Auntie?" asked Resmith in his loud, firm voice.
Resmith gave a scarcely perceptible smile.
"Look here," he said. "I'm just going round the horse-lines. If you'll come with me I'll show you a thing or two, and we can choose a mount for you. Then after dinner if you like I'll take you through the orders for to-morrow. By the way, there's a telegram for you."
The telegram read:
"Girl. Everything fairly satisfactory. Don't worry too much. Laurencine sleeps here.—NUNKS"
He thought:
"Three girls, by Jove!"
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1
frowzy
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| adj.不整洁的；污秽的 | |
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allotted
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| 分配，拨给，摊派( allot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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unduly
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| adv.过度地，不适当地 | |
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infantry
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| n.[总称]步兵(部队) | |
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artillery
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| n.(军)火炮，大炮；炮兵(部队) | |
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trek
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| vi.作长途艰辛的旅行；n.长途艰苦的旅行 | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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joyously
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| ad.快乐地, 高兴地 | |
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territorial
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| adj.领土的，领地的 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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13
diminutives
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| n.微小( diminutive的名词复数 )；昵称，爱称 | |
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initiate
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| vt.开始，创始，发动；启蒙，使入门；引入 | |
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15
middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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16
stuffy
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| adj.不透气的，闷热的 | |
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prologue
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| n.开场白，序言；开端，序幕 | |
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18
cannon
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| n.大炮，火炮；飞机上的机关炮 | |
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19
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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civilian
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| adj.平民的，民用的，民众的 | |
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22
mentality
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| n.心理，思想，脑力 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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24
brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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25
celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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26
scribbled
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| v.潦草的书写( scribble的过去式和过去分词 )；乱画；草草地写；匆匆记下 | |
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27
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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29
astuteness
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| n.敏锐；精明；机敏 | |
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30
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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exempt
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| adj.免除的；v.使免除；n.免税者，被免除义务者 | |
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32
bland
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| adj.淡而无味的，温和的，无刺激性的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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deflect
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| v.(使)偏斜，(使)偏离，(使)转向 | |
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35
inscribed
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；内接 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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wayfarers
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| n.旅人，（尤指）徒步旅行者( wayfarer的名词复数 ) | |
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38
grumble
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| vi.抱怨；咕哝；n.抱怨，牢骚；咕哝，隆隆声 | |
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39
nibs
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| 上司，大人物； 钢笔尖，鹅毛管笔笔尖( nib的名词复数 )； 可可豆的碎粒； 小瑕疵 | |
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40
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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41
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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42
disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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43
civilians
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| 平民，百姓( civilian的名词复数 )； 老百姓 | |
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44
pyjamas
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| n.（宽大的）睡衣裤 | |
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defiant
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| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
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gulled
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| v.欺骗某人( gull的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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stationary
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| adj.固定的，静止不动的 | |
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mortar
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| n.灰浆，灰泥；迫击炮；v.把…用灰浆涂接合 | |
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50
benevolently
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| adv.仁慈地，行善地 | |
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51
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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52
virgin
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| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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53
etiquette
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| n.礼仪，礼节；规矩 | |
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54
saluting
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的现在分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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55
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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56
pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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audacity
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| n.大胆，卤莽，无礼 | |
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58
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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59
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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60
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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61
wagons
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| n.四轮的运货马车( wagon的名词复数 )；铁路货车；小手推车 | |
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62
saluted
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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63
doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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64
winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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