But always, while so lying in the nest, I was mastered as of tremendous space beneath me. I never saw it, I never peered over the edge of the nest to see; but I knew and feared that space that lurked6 just beneath me and that ever threatened me like a maw of some all-devouring monster.
This dream, in which I was quiescent7 and which was more like a condition than an experience of action, I dreamed very often in my early childhood. But suddenly, there would rush into the very midst of it strange forms and ferocious8 happenings, the thunder and crashing of storm, or unfamiliar9 landscapes such as in my wake-a-day life I had never seen. The result was confusion and nightmare. I could comprehend nothing of it. There was no logic10 of sequence.
You see, I did not dream consecutively11. One moment I was a wee babe of the Younger World lying in my tree nest; the next moment I was a grown man of the Younger World locked in combat with the hideous12 Red-Eye; and the next moment I was creeping carefully down to the water-hole in the heat of the day. Events, years apart in their occurrence in the Younger World, occurred with me within the space of several minutes, or seconds.
It was all a jumble13, but this jumble I shall not inflict14 upon you. It was not until I was a young man and had dreamed many thousand times, that everything straightened out and became clear and plain. Then it was that I got the clew of time, and was able to piece together events and actions in their proper order. Thus was I able to reconstruct the vanished Younger World as it was at the time I lived in it—or at the time my other-self lived in it. The distinction does not matter; for I, too, the modern man, have gone back and lived that early life in the company of my other-self.
For your convenience, since this is to be no sociological screed15, I shall frame together the different events into a comprehensive story. For there is a certain thread of continuity and happening that runs through all the dreams. There is my friendship with Lop-Ear, for instance. Also, there is the enmity of Red-Eye, and the love of the Swift One. Taking it all in all, a fairly coherent and interesting story I am sure you will agree.
I do not remember much of my mother. Possibly the earliest recollection I have of her—and certainly the sharpest—is the following: It seemed I was lying on the ground. I was somewhat older than during the nest days, but still helpless. I rolled about in the dry leaves, playing with them and making crooning, rasping noises in my throat. The sun shone warmly and I was happy, and comfortable. I was in a little open space. Around me, on all sides, were bushes and fern-like growths, and overhead and all about were the trunks and branches of forest trees.
Suddenly I heard a sound. I sat upright and listened. I made no movement. The little noises died down in my throat, and I sat as one petrified16. The sound drew closer. It was like the grunt17 of a pig. Then I began to hear the sounds caused by the moving of a body through the brush. Next I saw the ferns agitated18 by the passage of the body. Then the ferns parted, and I saw gleaming eyes, a long snout, and white tusks19.
It was a wild boar. He peered at me curiously20. He grunted21 once or twice and shifted his weight from one foreleg to the other, at the same time moving his head from side to side and swaying the ferns. Still I sat as one petrified, my eyes unblinking as I stared at him, fear eating at my heart.
It seemed that this movelessness and silence on my part was what was expected of me. I was not to cry out in the face of fear. It was a dictate22 of instinct. And so I sat there and waited for I knew not what. The boar thrust the ferns aside and stepped into the open. The curiosity went out of his eyes, and they gleamed cruelly. He tossed his head at me threateningly and advanced a step. This he did again, and yet again.
Then I screamed...or shrieked—I cannot describe it, but it was a shrill23 and terrible cry. And it seems that it, too, at this stage of the proceedings24, was the thing expected of me. From not far away came an answering cry. My sounds seemed momentarily to disconcert the boar, and while he halted and shifted his weight with indecision, an apparition25 burst upon us.
She was like a large orangutan, my mother, or like a chimpanzee, and yet, in sharp and definite ways, quite different. She was heavier of build than they, and had less hair. Her arms were not so long, and her legs were stouter27. She wore no clothes—only her natural hair. And I can tell you she was a fury when she was excited.
And like a fury she dashed upon the scene. She was gritting28 her teeth, making frightful29 grimaces30, snarling31, uttering sharp and continuous cries that sounded like “kh-ah! kh-ah!” So sudden and formidable was her appearance that the boar involuntarily bunched himself together on the defensive32 and bristled33 as she swerved34 toward him. Then she swerved toward me. She had quite taken the breath out of him. I knew just what to do in that moment of time she had gained. I leaped to meet her, catching35 her about the waist and holding on hand and foot—yes, by my feet; I could hold on by them as readily as by my hands. I could feel in my tense grip the pull of the hair as her skin and her muscles moved beneath with her efforts.
As I say, I leaped to meet her, and on the instant she leaped straight up into the air, catching an overhanging branch with her hands. The next instant, with clashing tusks, the boar drove past underneath36. He had recovered from his surprise and sprung forward, emitting a squeal37 that was almost a trumpeting38. At any rate it was a call, for it was followed by the rushing of bodies through the ferns and brush from all directions.
From every side wild hogs39 dashed into the open space—a score of them. But my mother swung over the top of a thick limb, a dozen feet from the ground, and, still holding on to her, we perched there in safety. She was very excited. She chattered40 and screamed, and scolded down at the bristling41, tooth-gnashing circle that had gathered beneath. I, too, trembling, peered down at the angry beasts and did my best to imitate my mother’s cries.
From the distance came similar cries, only pitched deeper, into a sort of roaring bass42. These grew momentarily louder, and soon I saw him approaching, my father—at least, by all the evidence of the times, I am driven to conclude that he was my father.
He was not an extremely prepossessing father, as fathers go. He seemed half man, and half ape, and yet not ape, and not yet man. I fail to describe him. There is nothing like him to-day on the earth, under the earth, nor in the earth. He was a large man in his day, and he must have weighed all of a hundred and thirty pounds. His face was broad and flat, and the eyebrows43 over-hung the eyes. The eyes themselves were small, deep-set, and close together. He had practically no nose at all. It was squat44 and broad, apparently45 without any bridge, while the nostrils46 were like two holes in the face, opening outward instead of down.
The forehead slanted47 back from the eyes, and the hair began right at the eyes and ran up over the head. The head itself was preposterously49 small and was supported on an equally preposterous48, thick, short neck.
There was an elemental economy about his body—as was there about all our bodies. The chest was deep, it is true, cavernously deep; but there were no full-swelling muscles, no wide-spreading shoulders, no clean-limbed straightness, no generous symmetry of outline. It represented strength, that body of my father’s, strength without beauty; ferocious, primordial50 strength, made to clutch and gripe and rend51 and destroy.
His hips52 were thin; and the legs, lean and hairy, were crooked53 and stringy-muscled. In fact, my father’s legs were more like arms. They were twisted and gnarly, and with scarcely the semblance54 of the full meaty calf55 such as graces your leg and mine. I remember he could not walk on the flat of his foot. This was because it was a prehensile56 foot, more like a hand than a foot. The great toe, instead of being in line with the other toes, opposed them, like a thumb, and its opposition57 to the other toes was what enabled him to get a grip with his foot. This was why he could not walk on the flat of his foot.
But his appearance was no more unusual than the manner of his coming, there to my mother and me as we perched above the angry wild pigs. He came through the trees, leaping from limb to limb and from tree to tree; and he came swiftly. I can see him now, in my wake-a-day life, as I write this, swinging along through the trees, a four-handed, hairy creature, howling with rage, pausing now and again to beat his chest with his clenched58 fist, leaping ten-and-fifteen-foot gaps, catching a branch with one hand and swinging on across another gap to catch with his other hand and go on, never hesitating, never at a loss as to how to proceed on his arboreal59 way.
And as I watched him I felt in my own being, in my very muscles themselves, the surge and thrill of desire to go leaping from bough2 to bough; and I felt also the guarantee of the latent power in that being and in those muscles of mine. And why not? Little boys watch their fathers swing axes and fell trees, and feel in themselves that some day they, too, will swing axes and fell trees. And so with me. The life that was in me was constituted to do what my father did, and it whispered to me secretly and ambitiously of aerial paths and forest flights.
At last my father joined us. He was extremely angry. I remember the out-thrust of his protruding60 underlip as he glared down at the wild pigs. He snarled61 something like a dog, and I remember that his eye-teeth were large, like fangs62, and that they impressed me tremendously.
His conduct served only the more to infuriate the pigs. He broke off twigs and small branches and flung them down upon our enemies. He even hung by one hand, tantalizingly63 just beyond reach, and mocked them as they gnashed their tusks with impotent rage. Not content with this, he broke off a stout26 branch, and, holding on with one hand and foot, jabbed the infuriated beasts in the sides and whacked64 them across their noses. Needless to state, my mother and I enjoyed the sport.
But one tires of all good things, and in the end, my father, chuckling65 maliciously66 the while, led the way across the trees. Now it was that my ambitions ebbed67 away, and I became timid, holding tightly to my mother as she climbed and swung through space. I remember when the branch broke with her weight. She had made a wide leap, and with the snap of the wood I was overwhelmed with the sickening consciousness of falling through space, the pair of us. The forest and the sunshine on the rustling68 leaves vanished from my eyes. I had a fading glimpse of my father abruptly69 arresting his progress to look, and then all was blackness.
The next moment I was awake, in my sheeted bed, sweating, trembling, nauseated70. The window was up, and a cool air was blowing through the room. The night-lamp was burning calmly. And because of this I take it that the wild pigs did not get us, that we never fetched bottom; else I should not be here now, a thousand centuries after, to remember the event.
And now put yourself in my place for a moment. Walk with me a bit in my tender childhood, bed with me a night and imagine yourself dreaming such incomprehensible horrors. Remember I was an inexperienced child. I had never seen a wild boar in my life. For that matter I had never seen a domesticated71 pig. The nearest approach to one that I had seen was breakfast bacon sizzling in its fat. And yet here, real as life, wild boars dashed through my dreams, and I, with fantastic parents, swung through the lofty tree-spaces.
Do you wonder that I was frightened and oppressed by my nightmare-ridden nights? I was accursed. And, worst of all, I was afraid to tell. I do not know why, except that I had a feeling of guilt72, though I knew no better of what I was guilty. So it was, through long years, that I suffered in silence, until I came to man’s estate and learned the why and wherefore of my dreams.
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1
twigs
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| 细枝，嫩枝( twig的名词复数 ) | |
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bough
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| n.大树枝，主枝 | |
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boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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foliage
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| n.叶子，树叶，簇叶 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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lurked
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| vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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quiescent
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| adj.静止的，不活动的，寂静的 | |
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ferocious
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| adj.凶猛的，残暴的，极度的，十分强烈的 | |
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unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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consecutively
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| adv.连续地 | |
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hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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jumble
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| vt.使混乱，混杂；n.混乱；杂乱的一堆 | |
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inflict
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| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
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screed
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| n.长篇大论 | |
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petrified
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| adj.惊呆的；目瞪口呆的v.使吓呆，使惊呆；变僵硬；使石化(petrify的过去式和过去分词) | |
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grunt
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| v.嘟哝；作呼噜声；n.呼噜声，嘟哝 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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tusks
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| n.（象等动物的）长牙( tusk的名词复数 )；獠牙；尖形物；尖头 | |
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curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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grunted
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| （猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说 | |
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dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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apparition
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| n.幽灵，神奇的现象 | |
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stouter
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| 粗壮的( stout的比较级 )； 结实的； 坚固的； 坚定的 | |
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gritting
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| v.以沙砾覆盖（某物），撒沙砾于( grit的现在分词 )；咬紧牙关 | |
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frightful
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| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
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grimaces
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| n.（表蔑视、厌恶等）面部扭曲，鬼脸( grimace的名词复数 )v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的第三人称单数 ) | |
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snarling
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| v.（指狗）吠，嗥叫， （人）咆哮( snarl的现在分词 )；咆哮着说，厉声地说 | |
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defensive
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| adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的 | |
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bristled
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| adj. 直立的，多刺毛的 动词bristle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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swerved
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| v.（使）改变方向，改变目的( swerve的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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squeal
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| v.发出长而尖的声音；n.长而尖的声音 | |
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trumpeting
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| 大声说出或宣告（trumpet的现在分词形式） | |
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hogs
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| n.（尤指喂肥供食用的）猪( hog的名词复数 )；（供食用的）阉公猪；彻底地做某事；自私的或贪婪的人 | |
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40
chattered
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| （人）喋喋不休( chatter的过去式 )； 唠叨； （牙齿）打战； （机器）震颤 | |
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bristling
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| a.竖立的 | |
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42
bass
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| n.男低音(歌手)；低音乐器；低音大提琴 | |
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43
eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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44
squat
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| v.蹲坐，蹲下；n.蹲下；adj.矮胖的，粗矮的 | |
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45
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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46
nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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47
slanted
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| 有偏见的； 倾斜的 | |
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48
preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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preposterously
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| adv.反常地；荒谬地；荒谬可笑地；不合理地 | |
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50
primordial
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| adj.原始的；最初的 | |
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51
rend
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| vt.把…撕开，割裂；把…揪下来，强行夺取 | |
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52
hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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53
crooked
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| adj.弯曲的；不诚实的，狡猾的，不正当的 | |
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semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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calf
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| n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮 | |
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56
prehensile
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| adj.（足等）适于抓握的 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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arboreal
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| adj.树栖的；树的 | |
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protruding
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的现在分词 )；凸 | |
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snarled
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| v.（指狗）吠，嗥叫， （人）咆哮( snarl的过去式和过去分词 )；咆哮着说，厉声地说 | |
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fangs
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| n.（尤指狗和狼的）长而尖的牙( fang的名词复数 )；（蛇的）毒牙；罐座 | |
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tantalizingly
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| adv.…得令人着急，…到令人着急的程度 | |
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whacked
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| a.精疲力尽的 | |
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chuckling
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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maliciously
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| adv.有敌意地 | |
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ebbed
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| （指潮水）退( ebb的过去式和过去分词 )； 落； 减少； 衰落 | |
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rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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nauseated
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| adj.作呕的，厌恶的v.使恶心，作呕( nauseate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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domesticated
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| adj.喜欢家庭生活的；（指动物）被驯养了的v.驯化( domesticate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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