CHAPTER VII.—A SURPRISE AWAITS HER

 Feb. 5.—Writing has been absolutely impossible for a long while; but I now reach a stage at which it seems possible to jot¹ down a line.  Caroline’s recovery, extending over four months, has been very engrossing²; at first slow, latterly rapid.  But a fearful complication of affairs attends it!

 

O what a tangled³ web we weave

When first we practise to deceive!

 

Charles has written reproachfully to me from Venice, where he is.  He says how can he fulfil in the real what he has enacted⁴ in the counterfeit⁵, while he still loves me?  Yet how, on the other hand, can he leave it unfulfilled?  All this time I have not told her, and up to this minute she believes that he has indeed taken her for better, for worse, till death them do part.  It is a harassing⁶ position for me, and all three.  In the awful approach of death, one’s judgment⁷ loses its balance, and we do anything to meet the exigencies⁸ of the moment, with a single eye to the one who excites our sympathy, and from whom we seem on the brink⁹ of being separated for ever.

 

Had he really married her at that time all would be settled now.  But he took too much thought; she might have died, and then he had his reason.  If indeed it had turned out so, I should now be perhaps a sad woman; but not a tempest-tossed one . . . The possibility of his claiming me after all is what lies at the root of my agitation¹⁰.  Everything hangs by a thread.  Suppose I tell her the marriage was a mockery; suppose she is indignant with me and with him for the deception—and then?  Otherwise, suppose she is not indignant but forgives all; he is bound to marry her; and honour constrains¹¹ me to urge him thereto, in spite of what he protests, and to smooth the way to this issue by my method of informing her.  I have meant to tell her the last month—ever since she has been strong enough to bear such tidings; but I have been without the power—the moral force.  Surely I must write, and get him to come and assist me.

 

March 14.—She continually wonders why he does not come, the five months of his enforced absence having expired; and still more she wonders why he does not write oftener.  His last letter was cold, she says, and she fears he regrets his marriage, which he may only have celebrated¹² with her for pity’s sake, thinking she was sure to die.  It makes one’s heart bleed to hear her hovering¹³ thus so near the truth, and yet never discerning its actual shape.

 

A minor¹⁴ trouble besets¹⁵ me, too, in the person of the young Scripture¹⁶ reader, whose conscience pricks¹⁷ him for the part he played.  Surely I am punished, if ever woman were, for a too ingenious perversion¹⁸ of her better judgment!

 

April 2.—She is practically well.  The faint pink revives in her cheek, though it is not quite so full as heretofore.  But she still wonders what she can have done to offend ‘her dear husband,’ and I have been obliged to tell the smallest part of the truth—an unimportant fragment of the whole, in fact, I said that I feared for the moment he might regret the precipitancy of the act, which her illness caused, his affairs not having been quite sufficiently¹⁹ advanced for marriage just then, though he will doubtless come to her as soon as he has a home ready.  Meanwhile I have written to him, peremptorily²⁰, to come and relieve me in this awful dilemma²¹.  He will find no note of love in that.

 

April 10.—To my alarm the letter I lately addressed to him at Venice, where he is staying, as well as the last one she sent him, have received no reply.  She thinks he is ill.  I do not quite think that, but I wish we could hear from him.  Perhaps the peremptoriness²² of my words had offended him; it grieves me to think it possible.  I offend him!  But too much of this.  I must tell her the truth, or she may in her ignorance commit herself to some course or other that may be ruinously compromising.  She said plaintively²³ just now that if he could see her, and know how occupied with him and him alone is her every waking hour, she is sure he would forgive her the wicked presumption²⁴ of becoming his wife.  Very sweet all that, and touching²⁵.  I could not conceal²⁶ my tears.

 

April 15.—The house is in confusion; my father is angry and distressed²⁷, and I am distracted.  Caroline has disappeared—gone away secretly.  I cannot help thinking that I know where she is gone to.  How guilty I seem, and how innocent she!  O that I had told her before now!

 

1 o’clock.—No trace of her as yet.  We find also that the little waiting-maid we have here in training has disappeared with Caroline, and there is not much doubt that Caroline, fearing to travel alone, has induced this girl to go with her as companion.  I am almost sure she has started in desperation to find him, and that Venice is her goal.  Why should she run away, if not to join her husband, as she thinks him?  Now that I consider, there have been indications of this wish in her for days, as in birds of passage there lurk²⁸ signs of their incipient²⁹ intention; and yet I did not think she would have taken such an extreme step, unaided, and without consulting me.  I can only jot down the bare facts—I have no time for reflections.  But fancy Caroline travelling across the continent of Europe with a chit of a girl, who will be more of a charge than an assistance!  They will be a mark for every marauder who encounters them.

 

Evening: 8 o’clock.—Yes, it is as I surmised³⁰.  She has gone to join him.  A note posted by her in Budmouth Regis at daybreak has reached me this afternoon—thanks to the fortunate chance of one of the servants calling for letters in town to-day, or I should not have got it until to-morrow.  She merely asserts her determination of going to him, and has started privately³², that nothing may hinder her; stating nothing about her route.  That such a gentle thing should suddenly become so calmly resolute³³ quite surprises me.  Alas³⁴, he may have left Venice—she may not find him for weeks—may not at all.

 

My father, on learning the facts, bade me at once have everything ready by nine this evening, in time to drive to the train that meets the night steam-boat.  This I have done, and there being an hour to spare before we start, I relieve the suspense³⁵ of waiting by taking up my pen.  He says overtake her we must, and calls Charles the hardest of names.  He believes, of course, that she is merely an infatuated girl rushing off to meet her lover; and how can the wretched I tell him that she is more, and in a sense better than that—yet not sufficiently more and better to make this flight to Charles anything but a still greater danger to her than a mere³¹ lover’s impulse.  We shall go by way of Paris, and we think we may overtake her there.  I hear my father walking restlessly up and down the hall, and can write no more.

1 jot   

n.少量；vi.草草记下；vt.匆匆写下

参考例句：

• I'll jot down their address before I forget it.我得赶快把他们的地址写下来，免得忘了。
• There is not a jot of evidence to say it does them any good.没有丝毫的证据显示这对他们有任何好处。

2 engrossing   

adj.使人全神贯注的，引人入胜的v.使全神贯注( engross的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• He told us an engrossing story. 他给我们讲了一个引人入胜的故事。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• It might soon have ripened into that engrossing feeling. 很快便会发展成那种压倒一切的感情的。 来自辞典例句

3 tangled   

adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• Your hair's so tangled that I can't comb it. 你的头发太乱了，我梳不动。
• A movement caught his eye in the tangled undergrowth. 乱灌木丛里的晃动引起了他的注意。

4 enacted   

制定（法律），通过（法案）( enact的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• legislation enacted by parliament 由议会通过的法律
• Outside in the little lobby another scene was begin enacted. 外面的小休息室里又是另一番景象。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

5 counterfeit   

vt.伪造，仿造；adj.伪造的，假冒的

参考例句：

• It is a crime to counterfeit money.伪造货币是犯罪行为。
• The painting looked old but was a recent counterfeit.这幅画看上去年代久远，实际是最近的一幅赝品。

6 harassing   

v.侵扰，骚扰( harass的现在分词 )；不断攻击（敌人）

参考例句：

• The court ordered him to stop harassing his ex-wife. 法庭命令他不得再骚扰前妻。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• It was too close to be merely harassing fire. 打得这么近，不能完全是扰乱射击。 来自辞典例句

7 judgment   

n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见

参考例句：

• The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
• He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。

8 exigencies   

n.急切需要

参考例句：

• Many people are forced by exigencies of circumstance to take some part in them. 许多人由于境况所逼又不得不在某种程度上参与这种活动。
• The people had to accept the harsh exigencies of war. 人们要承受战乱的严酷现实。

9 brink   

n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘，边沿

参考例句：

• The tree grew on the brink of the cliff.那棵树生长在峭壁的边缘。
• The two countries were poised on the brink of war.这两个国家处于交战的边缘。

10 agitation   

n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动

参考例句：

• Small shopkeepers carried on a long agitation against the big department stores.小店主们长期以来一直在煽动人们反对大型百货商店。
• These materials require constant agitation to keep them in suspension.这些药剂要经常搅动以保持悬浮状态。

11 constrains   

强迫( constrain的第三人称单数 )； 强使； 限制； 约束

参考例句：

• We'll ignore the continuity constrains. 我们往往忽略连续约束条件。
• It imposes constrains, restricting nature's freedom. 它具有限制自然界自由度的强制性。

12 celebrated   

adj.有名的，声誉卓著的

参考例句：

• He was soon one of the most celebrated young painters in England.不久他就成了英格兰最负盛名的年轻画家之一。
• The celebrated violinist was mobbed by the audience.观众团团围住了这位著名的小提琴演奏家。

13 hovering   

鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫

参考例句：

• The helicopter was hovering about 100 metres above the pad. 直升机在离发射台一百米的上空盘旋。
• I'm hovering between the concert and the play tonight. 我犹豫不决今晚是听音乐会还是看戏。

14 minor   

adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修

参考例句：

• The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
• I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。

15 besets   

v.困扰( beset的第三人称单数 )；不断围攻；镶；嵌

参考例句：

16 scripture   

n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段

参考例句：

• The scripture states that God did not want us to be alone.圣经指出上帝并不是想让我们独身一人生活。
• They invoked Hindu scripture to justify their position.他们援引印度教的经文为他们的立场辩护。

17 pricks   

刺痛( prick的名词复数 )； 刺孔； 刺痕； 植物的刺

参考例句：

• My skin pricks sometimes. 我的皮肤有时感到刺痛。
• You must obey the rule. It is useless for you to kick against the pricks. 你必须遵守规定，对抗对你是无益的。

18 perversion   

n.曲解；堕落；反常

参考例句：

• In its most general sense,corruption means the perversion or abandonment.就其最一般的意义上说，舞弊就是堕落，就是背离准则。
• Her account was a perversion of the truth.她所讲的歪曲了事实。

19 sufficiently   

adv.足够地，充分地

参考例句：

• It turned out he had not insured the house sufficiently.原来他没有给房屋投足保险。
• The new policy was sufficiently elastic to accommodate both views.新政策充分灵活地适用两种观点。

20 peremptorily   

adv.紧急地，不容分说地，专横地

参考例句：

• She peremptorily rejected the request. 她断然拒绝了请求。
• Their propaganda was peremptorily switched to an anti-Western line. 他们的宣传断然地转而持反对西方的路线。 来自辞典例句

21 dilemma   

n.困境，进退两难的局面

参考例句：

• I am on the horns of a dilemma about the matter.这件事使我进退两难。
• He was thrown into a dilemma.他陷入困境。

22 peremptoriness   

n.专横，强制，武断

参考例句：

• The membership ejected the chairman for his peremptoriness. 全体成员因为会武断专横而罢免了他的职务。 来自互联网

23 plaintively   

adv.悲哀地，哀怨地

参考例句：

• The last note of the song rang out plaintively. 歌曲最后道出了离别的哀怨。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Birds cry plaintively before they die, men speak kindly in the presence of death. 鸟之将死，其鸣也哀；人之将死，其言也善。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

24 presumption   

n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定

参考例句：

• Please pardon my presumption in writing to you.请原谅我很冒昧地写信给你。
• I don't think that's a false presumption.我认为那并不是错误的推测。

25 touching   

adj.动人的，使人感伤的

参考例句：

• It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。
• His letter was touching.他的信很感人。

26 conceal   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽

参考例句：

• He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方，他只好隐瞒身份。
• He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。

27 distressed   

痛苦的

参考例句：

• He was too distressed and confused to answer their questions. 他非常苦恼而困惑，无法回答他们的问题。
• The news of his death distressed us greatly. 他逝世的消息使我们极为悲痛。

28 lurk   

n.潜伏，潜行；v.潜藏，潜伏，埋伏

参考例句：

• Dangers lurk in the path of wilderness.在这条荒野的小路上隐伏着危险。
• He thought he saw someone lurking above the chamber during the address.他觉得自己看见有人在演讲时潜藏在会议厅顶上。

29 incipient   

adj.起初的，发端的，初期的

参考例句：

• The anxiety has been sharpened by the incipient mining boom.采矿业初期的蓬勃发展加剧了这种担忧。
• What we see then is an incipient global inflation.因此，我们看到的是初期阶段的全球通胀.

30 surmised   

v.臆测，推断( surmise的过去式和过去分词 )；揣测；猜想

参考例句：

• From the looks on their faces, I surmised that they had had an argument. 看他们的脸色，我猜想他们之间发生了争执。
• From his letter I surmised that he was unhappy. 我从他的信中推测他并不快乐。 来自《简明英汉词典》

31 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

32 privately   

adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地

参考例句：

• Some ministers admit privately that unemployment could continue to rise.一些部长私下承认失业率可能继续升高。
• The man privately admits that his motive is profits.那人私下承认他的动机是为了牟利。

33 resolute   

adj.坚决的，果敢的

参考例句：

• He was resolute in carrying out his plan.他坚决地实行他的计划。
• The Egyptians offered resolute resistance to the aggressors.埃及人对侵略者作出坚决的反抗。

34 alas   

int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)

参考例句：

• Alas!The window is broken!哎呀！窗子破了！
• Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而，真理很少带有浪漫色彩。

35 suspense   

n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑

参考例句：

• The suspense was unbearable.这样提心吊胆的状况实在叫人受不了。
• The director used ingenious devices to keep the audience in suspense.导演用巧妙手法引起观众的悬念。