ABSENT-MINDEDNESS IN A PARISH CHOIR

 ‘It happened on Sunday after Christmas—the last Sunday ever they played in Longpuddle church gallery, as it turned out, though they didn’t know it then.  As you may know, sir, the players formed a very good band—almost as good as the Mellstock parish players that were led by the Dewys; and that’s saying a great deal.  There was Nicholas Puddingcome, the leader, with the first fiddle¹; there was Timothy Thomas, the bass²-viol man; John Biles, the tenor³ fiddler; Dan’l Hornhead, with the serpent; Robert Dowdle, with the clarionet; and Mr. Nicks, with the oboe—all sound and powerful musicians, and strong-winded men—they that blowed.  For that reason they were very much in demand Christmas week for little reels and dancing parties; for they could turn a jig⁴ or a hornpipe out of hand as well as ever they could turn out a psalm⁵, and perhaps better, not to speak irreverent.  In short, one half-hour they could be playing a Christmas carol in the squire⁷’s hall to the ladies and gentlemen, and drinking tea and coffee with ’em as modest as saints; and the next, at The Tinker’s Arms, blazing away like wild horses with the “Dashing White Sergeant” to nine couple of dancers and more, and swallowing rum-and-cider hot as flame.

 

‘Well, this Christmas they’d been out to one rattling⁸ randy after another every night, and had got next to no sleep at all.  Then came the Sunday after Christmas, their fatal day.  ’Twas so mortal cold that year that they could hardly sit in the gallery; for though the congregation down in the body of the church had a stove to keep off the frost, the players in the gallery had nothing at all.  So Nicholas said at morning service, when ’twas freezing an inch an hour, “Please the Lord I won’t stand this numbing⁹ weather no longer: this afternoon we’ll have something in our insides to make us warm, if it cost a king’s ransom¹⁰.”

 

‘So he brought a gallon of hot brandy and beer, ready mixed, to church with him in the afternoon, and by keeping the jar well wrapped up in Timothy Thomas’s bass-viol bag it kept drinkably warm till they wanted it, which was just a thimbleful in the Absolution, and another after the Creed¹¹, and the remainder at the beginning o’ the sermon.  When they’d had the last pull they felt quite comfortable and warm, and as the sermon went on—most unfortunately for ’em it was a long one that afternoon—they fell asleep, every man jack¹² of ’em; and there they slept on as sound as rocks.

 

‘’Twas a very dark afternoon, and by the end of the sermon all you could see of the inside of the church were the pa’son’s two candles alongside of him in the pulpit, and his spaking face behind ’em.  The sermon being ended at last, the pa’son gie’d out the Evening Hymn¹³.  But no choir¹⁴ set about sounding up the tune¹⁵, and the people began to turn their heads to learn the reason why, and then Levi Limpet, a boy who sat in the gallery, nudged Timothy and Nicholas, and said, “Begin! begin!”

 

‘“Hey? what?” says Nicholas, starting up; and the church being so dark and his head so muddled¹⁶ he thought he was at the party they had played at all the night before, and away he went, bow and fiddle, at “The Devil among the Tailors,” the favourite jig of our neighbourhood at that time.  The rest of the band, being in the same state of mind and nothing doubting, followed their leader with all their strength, according to custom.  They poured out that there tune till the lower bass notes of “The Devil among the Tailors” made the cobwebs in the roof shiver like ghosts; then Nicholas, seeing nobody moved, shouted out as he scraped (in his usual commanding way at dances when the folk didn’t know the figures), “Top couples cross hands!  And when I make the fiddle squeak¹⁷ at the end, every man kiss his pardner under the mistletoe!”

 

‘The boy Levi was so frightened that he bolted down the gallery stairs and out homeward like lightning.  The pa’son’s hair fairly stood on end when he heard the evil tune raging through the church, and thinking the choir had gone crazy he held up his hand and said: “Stop, stop, stop!  Stop, stop!  What’s this?”  But they didn’t hear’n for the noise of their own playing, and the more he called the louder they played.

 

‘Then the folks came out of their pews, wondering down to the ground, and saying: “What do they mean by such wickedness!  We shall be consumed like Sodom and Gomorrah!”

 

‘Then the squire came out of his pew lined wi’ green baize, where lots of lords and ladies visiting at the house were worshipping along with him, and went and stood in front of the gallery, and shook his fist in the musicians’ faces, saying, “What!  In this reverent⁶ edifice¹⁸!  What!”

 

‘And at last they heard’n through their playing, and stopped.

 

‘“Never such an insulting, disgraceful thing—never!” says the squire, who couldn’t rule his passion.

 

‘“Never!” says the pa’son, who had come down and stood beside him.

 

‘“Not if the Angels of Heaven,” says the squire (he was a wickedish man, the squire was, though now for once he happened to be on the Lord’s side)—“not if the Angels of Heaven come down,” he says, “shall one of you villanous players ever sound a note in this church again; for the insult to me, and my family, and my visitors, and God Almighty¹⁹, that you’ve a-perpetrated this afternoon!”

 

‘Then the unfortunate church band came to their senses, and remembered where they were; and ’twas a sight to see Nicholas Pudding come and Timothy Thomas and John Biles creep down the gallery stairs with their fiddles²⁰ under their arms, and poor Dan’l Hornhead with his serpent, and Robert Dowdle with his clarionet, all looking as little as ninepins; and out they went.  The pa’son might have forgi’ed ’em when he learned the truth o’t, but the squire would not.  That very week he sent for a barrel-organ that would play two-and-twenty new psalm-tunes, so exact and particular that, however sinful inclined you was, you could play nothing but psalm-tunes whatsomever.  He had a really respectable man to turn the winch, as I said, and the old players played no more.’

 

‘And, of course, my old acquaintance, the annuitant, Mrs. Winter, who always seemed to have something on her mind, is dead and gone?’ said the home-comer, after a long silence.

 

Nobody in the van seemed to recollect²¹ the name.

 

‘O yes, she must be dead long since: she was seventy when I as a child knew her,’ he added.

 

‘I can recollect Mrs. Winter very well, if nobody else can,’ said the aged²² groceress.  ‘Yes, she’s been dead these five-and-twenty year at least.  You knew what it was upon her mind, sir, that gave her that hollow-eyed look, I suppose?’

 

‘It had something to do with a son of hers, I think I once was told.  But I was too young to know particulars.’

 

The groceress sighed as she conjured²³ up a vision of days long past.  ‘Yes,’ she murmured, ‘it had all to do with a son.’  Finding that the van was still in a listening mood, she spoke on:—

1 fiddle   

n.小提琴；vi.拉提琴；不停拨弄，乱动

参考例句：

• She plays the fiddle well.她小提琴拉得好。
• Don't fiddle with the typewriter.不要摆弄那架打字机了。

2 bass   

n.男低音(歌手)；低音乐器；低音大提琴

参考例句：

• He answered my question in a surprisingly deep bass.他用一种低得出奇的声音回答我的问题。
• The bass was to give a concert in the park.那位男低音歌唱家将在公园中举行音乐会。

3 tenor   

n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意

参考例句：

• The tenor of his speech was that war would come.他讲话的大意是战争将要发生。
• The four parts in singing are soprano,alto,tenor and bass.唱歌的四个声部是女高音、女低音、男高音和男低音。

4 jig   

n.快步舞（曲）；v.上下晃动；用夹具辅助加工；蹦蹦跳跳

参考例句：

• I went mad with joy and danced a little jig.我欣喜若狂，跳了几步吉格舞。
• He piped a jig so that we could dance.他用笛子吹奏格舞曲好让我们跳舞。

5 psalm   

n.赞美诗，圣诗

参考例句：

• The clergyman began droning the psalm.牧师开始以单调而低沈的语调吟诵赞美诗。
• The minister droned out the psalm.牧师喃喃地念赞美诗。

6 reverent   

adj.恭敬的，虔诚的

参考例句：

• He gave reverent attention to the teacher.他恭敬地听老师讲课。
• She said the word artist with a gentle,understanding,reverent smile.她说作家一词时面带高雅，理解和虔诚的微笑。

7 squire   

n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅

参考例句：

• I told him the squire was the most liberal of men.我告诉他乡绅是世界上最宽宏大量的人。
• The squire was hard at work at Bristol.乡绅在布里斯托尔热衷于他的工作。

8 rattling   

adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词

参考例句：

• This book is a rattling good read. 这是一本非常好的读物。
• At that same instant,a deafening explosion set the windows rattling. 正在这时，一声震耳欲聋的爆炸突然袭来，把窗玻璃震得当当地响。

9 numbing   

adj.使麻木的，使失去感觉的v.使麻木，使麻痹( numb的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Watching television had a numbing effect on his mind. 看电视使他头脑麻木。
• It was numbing work, requiring patience and dedication. 这是一种令人麻木的工作，需要有耐心和忘我精神。 来自辞典例句

10 ransom   

n.赎金，赎身；v.赎回，解救

参考例句：

• We'd better arrange the ransom right away.我们最好马上把索取赎金的事安排好。
• The kidnappers exacted a ransom of 10000 from the family.绑架者向这家人家勒索10000英镑的赎金。

11 creed   

n.信条；信念，纲领

参考例句：

• They offended against every article of his creed.他们触犯了他的每一条戒律。
• Our creed has always been that business is business.我们的信条一直是公私分明。

12 jack   

n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克

参考例句：

• I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。
• He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。

13 hymn   

n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌

参考例句：

• They sang a hymn of praise to God.他们唱着圣歌，赞美上帝。
• The choir has sung only two verses of the last hymn.合唱团只唱了最后一首赞美诗的两个段落。

14 choir   

n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱

参考例句：

• The choir sang the words out with great vigor.合唱团以极大的热情唱出了歌词。
• The church choir is singing tonight.今晚教堂歌唱队要唱诗。

15 tune   

n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整

参考例句：

• He'd written a tune,and played it to us on the piano.他写了一段曲子，并在钢琴上弹给我们听。
• The boy beat out a tune on a tin can.那男孩在易拉罐上敲出一首曲子。

16 muddled   

adj.混乱的；糊涂的；头脑昏昏然的v.弄乱，弄糟( muddle的过去式)；使糊涂；对付，混日子

参考例句：

• He gets muddled when the teacher starts shouting. 老师一喊叫他就心烦意乱。
• I got muddled up and took the wrong turning. 我稀里糊涂地拐错了弯。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 squeak   

n.吱吱声，逃脱；v.（发出）吱吱叫，侥幸通过；（俚）告密

参考例句：

• I don't want to hear another squeak out of you!我不想再听到你出声！
• We won the game,but it was a narrow squeak.我们打赢了这场球赛，不过是侥幸取胜。

18 edifice   

n.宏伟的建筑物(如宫殿，教室)

参考例句：

• The American consulate was a magnificent edifice in the centre of Bordeaux.美国领事馆是位于波尔多市中心的一座宏伟的大厦。
• There is a huge Victorian edifice in the area.该地区有一幢维多利亚式的庞大建筑物。

19 almighty   

adj.全能的，万能的；很大的，很强的

参考例句：

• Those rebels did not really challenge Gods almighty power.这些叛徒没有对上帝的全能力量表示怀疑。
• It's almighty cold outside.外面冷得要命。

20 fiddles   

n.小提琴( fiddle的名词复数 )；欺诈；（需要运用手指功夫的）细巧活动；当第二把手v.伪造( fiddle的第三人称单数 )；篡改；骗取；修理或稍作改动

参考例句：

• He fiddles with his papers on the table. 他抚弄着桌子上那些报纸。 来自辞典例句
• The annual Smithsonian Festival of American Folk Life celebrates hands-hands plucking guitars and playing fiddles. 一年一度的美国民间的“史密斯索尼安节”是赞美人的双手的节日--弹拔吉他的手，演奏小提琴的手。 来自辞典例句

21 recollect   

v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得

参考例句：

• He tried to recollect things and drown himself in them.他极力回想过去的事情而沉浸于回忆之中。
• She could not recollect being there.她回想不起曾经到过那儿。

22 aged   

adj.年老的，陈年的

参考例句：

• He had put on weight and aged a little.他胖了，也老点了。
• He is aged,but his memory is still good.他已年老，然而记忆力还好。

23 conjured   

用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现

参考例句：

• He conjured them with his dying breath to look after his children. 他临终时恳求他们照顾他的孩子。
• His very funny joke soon conjured my anger away. 他讲了个十分有趣的笑话，使得我的怒气顿消。