Esther woke early, little refreshed. The mattress1 was hard, and in her restricted allowance of space she had to deny herself the luxury of tossing and turning lest she should arouse Debby. To open one's eyes on a new day is not pleasant when situations have to be faced. Esther felt this disagreeable duty could no longer be shirked. Malka's words rang in her ears. How, indeed, could she earn a living? Literature had failed her; with journalism2 she had no point of contact save _The Flag of Judah_, and that journal was out of the question. Teaching--the last resort of the hopeless--alone remained. Maybe even in the Ghetto3 there were parents who wanted their children to learn the piano, and who would find Esther's mediocre4 digital ability good enough. She might teach as of old in an elementary school. But she would not go back to her own--all the human nature in her revolted at the thought of exposing herself to the sympathy of her former colleagues. Nothing was to be gained by lying sleepless5 in bed, gazing at the discolored wallpaper and the forlorn furniture. She slipped out gently and dressed herself, the absence of any apparatus6 for a bath making her heart heavier with reminders7 of the realities of poverty. It was not easy to avert8 her thoughts from her dainty bedroom of yesterday. But she succeeded; the cheerlessness of the little chamber9 turned her thoughts backwards10 to the years of girlhood, and when she had finished dressing12 she almost mechanically lit the fire and put the kettle to boil. Her childish dexterity13 returned, unimpaired by disuse. When Debby awoke, she awoke to a cup of tea ready for her to drink in bed--an unprecedented14 luxury, which she received with infinite consternation15 and pleasure.
"Why, it's like the duchesses who have lady's-maids," she said, "and read French novels before getting up." To complete the picture, her hand dived underneath16 the bed and extracted a _London Journal_, at the risk of upsetting the tea. "But it's you who ought to be in bed, not me."
"I've been a sluggard17 too often," laughed Esther, catching18 the contagion19 of good spirits from Debby's radiant delight. Perhaps the capacity for simple pleasures would come back to her, too.
At breakfast they discussed the situation.
"I'm afraid the bed's too small," said Esther, when Debby kindly20 suggested a continuance of hospitality.
"Perhaps I took up too much room," said the hostess.
"No, dear; you took up too little. We should have to have a wider bed and, as it is, the bed is almost as big as the room."
"There's the back garret overhead! It's bigger, and it looks on the back yard just as well. I wouldn't mind moving there," said Debby, "though I wouldn't let old Guggenheim know that I value the view of the back yard, or else he'd raise the rent."
"You forget the _Greeners_ who moved in yesterday."
"Oh, so I do!" answered Debby with a sigh.
The postman's knuckles22 rapping at the door interrupted her reflections. In Royal Street the poor postmen had to mount to each room separately; fortunately, the tenants23 got few letters. Debby was intensely surprised to get one.
"It isn't for me at all," she cried, at last, after a protracted24 examination of the envelope; "it's for you, care of me."
"But that's stranger still." said Esther. "Nobody in the world knows my address."
The mystery was not lessened25 by the contents. There was simply a blank sheet of paper, and when this was unfolded a half-sovereign rolled out. The postmark was Houndsditch. After puzzling herself in vain, and examining at length the beautiful copy-book penmanship of the address, Esther gave up the enigma26. But it reminded her that it would be advisable to apprise27 her publishers of her departure from the old address, and to ask them to keep any chance letter till she called. She betook herself to their offices, walking. The day was bright, but Esther walked in gloom, scarcely daring to think of her position. She entered the office, apathetically28 hopeless. The junior partner welcomed her heartily29.
"I suppose you've come about your account," he said. "I have been intending to send it you for some months, but we are so busy bringing out new things before the dead summer season comes on." He consulted his books. "Perhaps you would rather not be bothered," he said, "with a formal statement. I have it all clearly here--the book's doing fairly well--let me write you a cheque at once!"
"There you are--sixty-two pounds ten," he said. "Our profits are just one hundred and twenty-five. If you'll endorse33 it, I'll send a clerk to the bank round the corner and get it cashed for you at once."
The pen scrawled34 an agitated35 autograph that would not have been accepted at the foot of a cheque, if Esther had had a banking36 account of her own.
"But I thought you said the book was a failure," she said.
"So it was," he answered cheerfully, "so it was at first. But gradually, as its nature leaked out, the demand increased. I understand from Mudie's that it was greatly asked for by their Jewish clients. You see, when there's a run on a three-volume book, the profits are pretty fair. I believed in it myself, or I should never have given you such good terms nor printed seven hundred and fifty copies. I shouldn't be surprised if we find ourselves able to bring it out in one-volume form in the autumn. We shall always be happy to consider any further work of yours; something on the same lines, I should recommend."
The recommendation did not convey any definite meaning to her at the moment. Still in a pleasant haze37, she stuffed the twelve five-pound notes and the three gold-pieces into her purse, scribbled38 a receipt, and departed. Afterwards the recommendation rang mockingly in her ears. She felt herself sterile39, written out already. As for writing again on the same lines, she wondered what Raphael would think if he knew of the profits she had reaped by bespattering his people. But there! Raphael was a prig like the rest. It was no use worrying about _his_ opinions. Affluence40 had come to her--that was the one important and exhilarating fact. Besides, had not the hypocrites really enjoyed her book? A new wave of emotion swept over her--again she felt strong enough to defy the whole world.
When she got "home," Debby said, "Hannah Jacobs called to see you."
"Oh, indeed, what did she want?"
"I don't know, but from something she said I believe I can guess who sent the half-sovereign."
"Not Reb Shemuel?" said Esther, astonished.
"No, _your_ cousin Malka. It seems that she saw Hannah leaving Zachariah Square with you, and so went to her house last night to get your address."
Esther did not know whether to laugh or be angry; she compromised by crying. People were not so bad, after all, nor the fates so hard to her. It was only a little April shower of tears, and soon she was smiling and running upstairs to give the half-sovereign to the _Greeners_. It would have been ungracious to return it to Malka, and she purchased all the luxury of doing good, including the effusive41 benedictions42 of the whole family, on terms usually obtainable only by professional almoners.
Then she told Debby of her luck with the publishers. Profound was Debby's awe43 at the revelation that Esther was able to write stories equal to those in the _London Journal_. After that, Debby gave up the idea of Esther living or sleeping with her; she would as soon have thought of offering a share of her bed to the authoresses of the tales under it. Debby suffered scarce any pang44 when her one-night companion transferred herself to Reb Shemuel's.
For it was to suggest this that Hannah had called. The idea was her father's; it came to him when she told him of Esther's strange position. But Esther said she was going to America forthwith, and she only consented on condition of being allowed to pay for her keep during her stay. The haggling46 was hard, but Esther won. Hannah gave up her room to Esther, and removed her own belongings47 to Levi's bedroom, which except at Festival seasons had been unused for years, though the bed was always kept ready for him. Latterly the women had had to make the bed from time to time, and air the room, when Reb Shemuel was at synagogue. Esther sent her new address to her brothers and sisters, and made inquiries48 as to the prospects49 of educated girls in the States. In reply she learned that Rachel was engaged to be married. Her correspondents were too taken up with this gigantic fact to pay satisfactory attention to her inquiries. The old sense of protecting motherhood came back to Esther when she learned the news. Rachel was only eighteen, but at once Esther felt middle-aged50. It seemed of the fitness of things that she should go to America and resume her interrupted maternal51 duties. Isaac and Sarah were still little more than children, perhaps they had not yet ceased bickering52 about their birthdays. She knew her little ones would jump for joy, and Isaac still volunteer sleeping accommodation in his new bed, even though the necessity for it had ceased. She cried when she received the cutting from the American Jewish paper; under other circumstances she would have laughed. It was one of a batch53 headed "Personals," and ran: "Sam Wiseberg, the handsome young drummer, of Cincinnati, has become engaged to Rachel Ansell, the fair eighteen-year-old type-writer and daughter of Moses Ansell, a well-known Chicago Hebrew. Life's sweetest blessings54 on the pair! The marriage will take place in the Fall." Esther dried her eyes and determined55 to be present at the ceremony. It is so grateful to the hesitant soul to be presented with a landmark56. There was nothing to be gained now by arriving before the marriage; nay57, her arrival just in time for it would clench58 the festivities. Meantime she attached herself to Hannah's charitable leading-strings, alternately attracted to the Children of the Ghetto by their misery59, and repulsed60 by their failings. She seemed to see them now in their true perspective, correcting the vivid impressions of childhood by the insight born of wider knowledge of life. The accretion61 of pagan superstition62 was greater than she had recollected63. Mothers averted64 fever by a murmured charm and an expectoration, children in new raiment carried bits of coal or salt in their pockets to ward11 off the evil-eve. On the other hand, there was more resourcefulness, more pride of independence. Her knowledge of Moses Ansell had misled her into too sweeping65 a generalization66. And she was surprised to realize afresh how much illogical happiness flourished amid penury67, ugliness and pain. After school-hours the muggy68 air vibrated with the joyous69 laughter of little children, tossing their shuttlecocks, spinning their tops, turning their skipping-ropes, dancing to barrel-organs or circling hand-in-hand in rings to the sound of the merry traditional chants of childhood. Esther often purchased a pennyworth of exquisite70 pleasure by enriching some sad-eyed urchin71. Hannah (whose own scanty72 surplus was fortunately augmented73 by an anonymous74 West-End Reform Jew, who employed her as his agent) had no prepossessions to correct, no pendulum-oscillations to distract her, no sentimental75 illusions to sustain her. She knew the Ghetto as it was; neither expected gratitude76 from the poor, nor feared she might "pauperize77 them," knowing that the poor Jew never exchanges his self-respect for respect for his benefactor78, but takes by way of rightful supplement to his income. She did not drive families into trickery, like ladies of the West, by being horrified79 to find them eating meat. If she presided at a stall at a charitable sale of clothing, she was not disheartened if articles were snatched from under her hand, nor did she refuse loans because borrowers sometimes merely used them to evade80 the tallyman by getting their jewelry81 at cash prices. She not only gave alms to the poor, but made them givers, organizing their own farthings into a powerful auxiliary82 of the institutions which helped them. Hannah's sweet patience soothed83 Esther, who had no natural aptitude84 for personal philanthropy; the primitive85, ordered pieties86 of the Reb's household helping87 to give her calm. Though she accepted the inevitable88, and had laughed in melancholy89 mockery at the exaggerated importance given to love by the novelists (including her cruder self), she dreaded90 meeting Raphael Leon. It was very unlikely her whereabouts would penetrate91 to the West; and she rarely went outside of the Ghetto by day, or even walked within it in the evening. In the twilight92, unless prostrated93 by headache, she played on Hannah's disused old-fashioned grand piano. It had one cracked note which nearly always spoiled the melody; she would not have the note repaired, taking a morbid94 pleasure in a fantastic analogy between the instrument and herself. On Friday nights after the Sabbath-hymns she read _The Flag of Judah_. She was not surprised to find Reb Shemuel beginning to look askance at his favorite paper. She noted95 a growing tendency in it to insist mainly on the ethical96 side of Judaism, salvation97 by works being contrasted with the salvation by spasm98 of popular Christianity. Once Kingsley's line, "Do noble things, not dream them all day long," was put forth45 as "Judaism _versus_ Christianity in a nut-shell;" and the writer added, "for so thy dreams shall become noble, too." Sometimes she fancied phrases and lines of argument were aimed at her. Was it the editor's way of keeping in touch with her, using his leaders as a medium of communication--a subtly sweet secret known only to him and her? Was it fair to his readers? Then she would remember his joke about the paper being started merely to convert her, and she would laugh. Sometimes he repeated what he already said to her privately99, so that she seemed to hear him talking.
Then she would shake her head, and say, "I love you for your blindness, but I have the terrible gift of vision."
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1
mattress
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| n.床垫，床褥 | |
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journalism
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| n.新闻工作，报业 | |
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ghetto
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| n.少数民族聚居区，贫民区 | |
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mediocre
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| adj.平常的，普通的 | |
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sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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apparatus
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| n.装置，器械；器具，设备 | |
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reminders
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| n.令人回忆起…的东西( reminder的名词复数 )；提醒…的东西；（告知该做某事的）通知单；提示信 | |
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avert
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| v.防止，避免；转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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dexterity
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| n.(手的)灵巧，灵活 | |
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unprecedented
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| adj.无前例的，新奇的 | |
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consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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sluggard
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| n.懒人；adj.懒惰的 | |
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catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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contagion
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| n.(通过接触的疾病)传染；蔓延 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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musingly
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| adv.沉思地，冥想地 | |
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knuckles
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| n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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tenants
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| n.房客( tenant的名词复数 )；佃户；占用者；占有者 | |
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protracted
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| adj.拖延的；延长的v.拖延“protract”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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lessened
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| 减少的，减弱的 | |
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enigma
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| n.谜，谜一样的人或事 | |
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apprise
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| vt.通知，告知 | |
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apathetically
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| adv.不露感情地；无动于衷地；不感兴趣地；冷淡地 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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blanching
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| adj.漂白的n.热烫v.使变白( blanch的现在分词 )；使（植物）不见阳光而变白；酸洗（金属）使有光泽；用沸水烫（杏仁等）以便去皮 | |
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throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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endorse
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| vt.(支票、汇票等)背书，背署；批注；同意 | |
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scrawled
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| 乱涂，潦草地写( scrawl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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banking
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| n.银行业，银行学，金融业 | |
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haze
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| n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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scribbled
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| v.潦草的书写( scribble的过去式和过去分词 )；乱画；草草地写；匆匆记下 | |
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sterile
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| adj.不毛的，不孕的，无菌的，枯燥的，贫瘠的 | |
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affluence
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| n.充裕，富足 | |
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effusive
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| adj.热情洋溢的；感情(过多)流露的 | |
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benedictions
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| n.祝福( benediction的名词复数 )；（礼拜结束时的）赐福祈祷；恩赐；（大写）（罗马天主教）祈求上帝赐福的仪式 | |
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43
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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haggling
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| v.讨价还价( haggle的现在分词 ) | |
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belongings
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| n.私人物品，私人财物 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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51
maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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52
bickering
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| v.争吵( bicker的现在分词 )；口角；（水等）作潺潺声；闪烁 | |
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batch
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| n.一批(组，群)；一批生产量 | |
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blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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landmark
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| n.陆标，划时代的事，地界标 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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clench
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| vt.捏紧（拳头等），咬紧（牙齿等），紧紧握住 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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repulsed
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| v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 )；驳斥；拒绝 | |
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accretion
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| n.自然的增长，增加物 | |
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superstition
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| n.迷信，迷信行为 | |
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recollected
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| adj.冷静的；镇定的；被回忆起的；沉思默想的v.记起，想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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sweeping
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| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
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generalization
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| n.普遍性，一般性，概括 | |
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penury
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| n.贫穷，拮据 | |
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muggy
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| adj.闷热的；adv.（天气）闷热而潮湿地；n.（天气）闷热而潮湿 | |
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joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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urchin
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| n.顽童；海胆 | |
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scanty
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| adj.缺乏的，仅有的，节省的，狭小的，不够的 | |
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Augmented
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| adj.增音的 动词augment的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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anonymous
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| adj.无名的；匿名的；无特色的 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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pauperize
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| 贫困化 | |
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benefactor
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| n. 恩人，行善的人，捐助人 | |
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horrified
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| a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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evade
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| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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jewelry
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| n.（jewllery）（总称）珠宝 | |
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auxiliary
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| adj.辅助的，备用的 | |
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soothed
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| v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦 | |
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aptitude
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| n.(学习方面的)才能，资质，天资 | |
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primitive
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| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
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pieties
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| 虔诚，虔敬( piety的名词复数 ) | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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penetrate
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| v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解 | |
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twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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prostrated
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| v.使俯伏，使拜倒( prostrate的过去式和过去分词 )；（指疾病、天气等）使某人无能为力 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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ethical
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| adj.伦理的，道德的，合乎道德的 | |
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salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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spasm
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| n.痉挛，抽搐；一阵发作 | |
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privately
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| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
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