A deep furrow3 cut itself between the child’s brows. He looked almost old as he sat in the carriage painfully cogitating4 this great mystery and never casting a single glance at the landscape, which was shading into all the delicate colors of the spring, the mountains in the freshened green of their pines, the valleys in the mistier5 greens of budding trees, shrubbery and young grass. All he had eyes for were the man and the woman on the seat opposite him, as though, with his hot gaze, as with an angling hook, he could snatch the secret from the shimmering6 depths of their eyes.
Nothing gives so keen an edge to the intelligence as a passionate7 suspicion. All the possibilities of an immature8 mind are developed by a trail leading into obscurity. Sometimes it is only a single light door that keeps children out of the world that we call the real world, and a chance puff9 of wind may blow it open.
Edgar, all at once, felt himself tangibly10 closer, closer than ever before, to the Unknown, the Great Secret. It was right next to him, still veiled and unriddled, but very near. It excited him, and it was this that lent him his sudden solemnity. Unconsciously he sensed that he was approaching the outer edges of childhood.
The baron11 and Edgar’s mother were both sensible of a dumb opposition12 in front of them without realizing that it emanated13 from the child. The presence of a third person in the carriage constrained14 them, and those two dark glowing orbs15 opposite acted as a check. They scarcely dared to speak or look up, and it was impossible for them to drop back into the light, easy conversational16 tone of the day before, so entangled17 were they already in ardent18 confidences and words suggestive of secret caresses19. They would start a subject, promptly20 come to a halt, say a broken phrase or two, make another attempt, then lapse21 again into complete silence. Everything they said seemed always to stumble over the child’s obstinate22 silence and fall flat.
The mother was especially oppressed by her son’s sullen23 quiescence24. Giving him a cautious glance out of the corners of her eyes, she was startled to observe, for the first time, in the manner Edgar compressed his lips, a resemblance to her husband when he was annoyed. At that particular moment, when she was playing “hide-and-seek” with an adventure, it was more than ordinarily discomfiting25 to be reminded of her husband. The boy, only a foot or two away, with his dark, restless eyes and that suggestion behind his pale forehead of lying in wait, seemed to her like a ghost, a guardian26 of her conscience, doubly intolerable there in the close quarters of the carriage. Suddenly, for one second, Edgar looked up and met his mother’s gaze. Instantly they dropped their eyes in the consciousness that they were spying on each other. Till then each had had implicit27 faith in the other. Now something had come between mother and child and made a difference. For the first time in their lives they set to observing each other, to separating their destinies, with secret hate already mounting in their hearts, though the feeling was too young for either to admit it to himself.
When the horses pulled up at the hotel entrance, all three were relieved. The excursion had been a failure, each of them felt, though thy did not say so. Edgar was the first to get out of the carriage. His mother excused herself for going straight up to her room, pleading a headache. She was tired and wanted to be by herself. Edgar and the baron were left alone together.
The baron paid the coachman, looked at his watch, and mounted the steps to the hall, paying no attention to Edgar and passed him with that easy sway of his slim back which had so enchanted28 the child that he had immediately begun to imitate the baron’s walk. The baron brushed past him, right past him. Evidently he had forgotten him and left him to stand there beside the driver and the horses as though he did not belong to him.
Something in Edgar broke in two as the man, whom in spite of everything he still idolized, slighted him like that. A bitter despair filled his heart when the baron left without so much as touching29 him with his cloak or saying a single word, when he, Edgar, was conscious of having done no wrong. His painfully enforced self-restraint gave way, the too heavy burden of dignity that he had imposed upon himself dropped from his narrow little shoulders, and he became the child again, small and humble30, as he had been the day before. At the top of the steps he confronted the baron and said in a strained voice, thick with suppressed tears:
“What have I done to you that you don’t notice me any more? Why are you always like this with me now? And mamma, too? Why are you always sending me off? Am I a nuisance to you, or have I done anything to offend you?”
The baron was startled. There was something in the child’s voice that upset him at first, then stirred him to tenderness and sympathy for the unsuspecting boy.
“You’re a goose, Eddie. I’m merely out of sorts to-day. You’re a dear boy, and I really love you.” He tousled Edgar’s hair, yet with averted31 face so as not to be obliged to see those great moist, beseeching32 child’s eyes. The comedy he was playing was becoming painful. He was beginning to be ashamed of having trifled so insolently33 with the child’s love. That small voice, quivering with suppressed sobs34, cut him to the quick. “Go upstairs now, Eddie. We’ll get along together this evening just as nicely as ever, you’ll see.”
“You won’t let mamma send me right off to bed, will you?”
“No, no, I won’t, Eddie,” the baron smiled. “Just go on up. I must dress for dinner.”
Edgar went, made happy for the moment. Soon, however, the hammer began to knock at his heart again. He was years older since the day before. A strange guest, Distrust, had lodged35 itself in his child’s breast.
He waited for the decisive test, at table. Nine o’clock came, and his mother had not yet said a word about his going to bed. Why did she let him stay on just that day of all days, she who was usually so exact? It bothered him. Had the baron told her what he had said! He was consumed with regret, suddenly, that he had run after the baron so trustingly. At ten o’clock his mother rose, and took leave of the baron, who, oddly, showed no surprise at her early departure and made no attempt to detain her as he usually did. The hammer beat harder and harder at Edgar’s breast.
Now he must apply the test with exceeding care. He, too, behaved as though he suspected nothing and followed his mother to the door. Actually, in that second, he caught a smiling glance that travelled over his head straight to the baron and seemed to indicate a mutual36 understanding, a secret held in common. So the baron had betrayed him! That was why his mother had left so early. He, Edgar, was to be lulled37 with a sense of security so that he would not get in their way the next day.
“Mean!” he murmured.
“What’s that?” his mother asked.
He, too, had his secret. His secret was hate, a great hate for the two of them.
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1
rouged
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| 胭脂，口红( rouge的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2
concealing
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的现在分词 ) | |
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3
furrow
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| n.沟；垄沟；轨迹；车辙；皱纹 | |
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4
cogitating
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| v.认真思考，深思熟虑( cogitate的现在分词 ) | |
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5
mistier
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| misty（多雾的，被雾笼罩的）的比较级形式 | |
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6
shimmering
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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7
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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immature
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| adj.未成熟的，发育未全的，未充分发展的 | |
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puff
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| n.一口(气)；一阵(风)；v.喷气，喘气 | |
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tangibly
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| adv.可触摸的，可触知地，明白地 | |
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baron
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| n.男爵；(商业界等)巨头，大王 | |
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12
opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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13
emanated
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的过去式和过去分词 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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14
constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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15
orbs
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| abbr.off-reservation boarding school 在校寄宿学校n.球，天体，圆形物( orb的名词复数 ) | |
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16
conversational
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| adj.对话的，会话的 | |
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17
entangled
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| adj.卷入的；陷入的；被缠住的；缠在一起的v.使某人（某物/自己）缠绕，纠缠于（某物中），使某人（自己）陷入（困难或复杂的环境中）( entangle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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22
obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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24
quiescence
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| n.静止 | |
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discomfiting
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| v.使为难( discomfit的现在分词 )；使狼狈；使挫折；挫败 | |
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guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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implicit
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| a.暗示的，含蓄的，不明晰的，绝对的 | |
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28
enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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29
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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30
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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31
averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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32
beseeching
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| adj.恳求似的v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的现在分词 ) | |
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33
insolently
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| adv.自豪地，自傲地 | |
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34
sobs
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| 啜泣（声），呜咽（声）( sob的名词复数 ) | |
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35
lodged
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| v.存放( lodge的过去式和过去分词 )；暂住；埋入；（权利、权威等）归属 | |
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36
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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37
lulled
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| vt.使镇静，使安静（lull的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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38
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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