In time he would have realised what had happened, but time was denied him, for just as he was starting for the mud house Babbie saved his dignity by returning to him. It was not her custom to fix her eyes on the ground as she walked, but she was doing so now, and at the same time swinging the empty pans. Doubtless she had come back for more water, in the belief that Gavin had gone. He pronounced her name with a sense of guilt6, and she looked up surprised, or seemingly surprised, to find him still there.
“I thought you had gone away long ago,” she said stiffly.
“Otherwise,” asked Gavin the dejected, “you would not have come back to the well?”
“Certainly not.”
“I am very sorry. Had you waited another moment I should have been gone.”
170
“You have no right to blame me for disturbing you,” she declared with warmth.
“I did not. I only——”
“You could have been a mile away by this time. Nanny wanted more water.”
Babbie scrutinised the minister sharply as she made this statement. Surely her conscience troubled her, for on his not answering immediately she said, “Do you presume to disbelieve me? What could have made me return except to fill the pans again?”
“Nothing,” Gavin admitted eagerly, “and I assure you——”
“Say anything against me you choose,” she told him. “Say it as brutally10 as you like, for I won’t listen.”
She stopped to hear his response to that, and she looked so cold that it almost froze on Gavin’s lips.
“I had no right,” he said, dolefully, “to speak to you as I did.”
“You had not,” answered the proud Egyptian. She was looking away from him to show that his repentance11 was not even interesting to her. However, she had forgotten already not to listen.
“What business is it of mine?” asked Gavin, amazed at his late presumption12, “whether you are a gypsy or no?”
“None whatever.”
“And as for the ring——”
Here he gave her an opportunity of allowing that his curiosity about the ring was warranted. She declined to help him, however, and so he had to go on.
“The ring is yours,” he said, “and why should you not wear it?”
“Why, indeed?”
171
“I am afraid I have a very bad temper.”
He paused for a contradiction, but she nodded her head in agreement.
“I’m sure it is not.”
“But, Babbie, I want you to know that I despise myself for my base suspicions. No sooner did I see them than I loathed14 them and myself for harbouring them. Despite this mystery, I look upon you as a noble-hearted girl. I shall always think of you so.”
This time Babbie did not reply.
“That was all I had to say,” concluded Gavin, “except that I hope you will not punish Nanny for my sins. Good-bye.”
“Good-bye,” said the Egyptian, who was looking at the well.
The minister’s legs could not have heard him give the order to march, for they stood waiting.
“I thought,” said the Egyptian, after a moment, “that you said you were going.”
“I was only—brushing my hat,” Gavin answered with dignity. “You want me to go?”
She bowed, and this time he did set off.
“You can go if you like,” she remarked now.
He turned at this.
“But you said——” he began, diffidently.
“No, I did not,” she answered, with indignation.
He could see her face at last.
“You—you are crying!” he exclaimed, in bewilderment.
“What have I said, what have I done?” cried Gavin, in an agony of self-contempt. “Oh, that I had gone away at once!”
“That is cruel.”
“What is?”
172
“To say that.”
“What did I say?”
“That you wished you had gone away.”
“How can you say so?” asked the gypsy, reproachfully.
Gavin was distracted. “On my word,” he said, earnestly, “I thought you did. And now I have made you unhappy. Babbie, I wish I were anybody but myself; I am a hopeless lout17.”
“Now you are unjust,” said Babbie, hiding her face.
“Again? To you?”
“No, you stupid,” she said, beaming on him in her most delightful18 manner, “to yourself!”
She gave him both her hands impetuously, and he did not let them go until she added:
“I am so glad that you are reasonable at last. Men are so much more unreasonable19 than women, don’t you think?”
“Perhaps we are,” Gavin said, diplomatically.
“Of course you are. Why, every one knows that. Well, I forgive you; only remember, you have admitted that it was all your fault?”
She was pointing her finger at him like a schoolmistress, and Gavin hastened to answer—
“You were not to blame at all.”
“I like to hear you say that,” explained the representative of the more reasonable sex, “because it was really all my fault.”
“No, no.”
“Yes, it was; but of course I could not say so until you had asked my pardon. You must understand that?”
The representative of the less reasonable sex could not understand it, but he agreed recklessly, and it seemed so plain to the woman that she continued confidentially—
173
“I pretended that I did not want to make it up, but I did.”
“Did you?” asked Gavin, elated.
“Yes, but nothing could have induced me to make the first advance. You see why?”
“Because I was so unreasonable?” asked Gavin, doubtfully.
“Yes, and nasty. You admit you were nasty?”
“Undoubtedly, I have an evil temper. It has brought me to shame many times.”
“I never knew such a bully. You quite frightened me.”
Gavin began to be less displeased22 with himself.
“You are sure,” inquired Babbie, “that you had no right to question me about the ring?”
“Certain,” answered Gavin.
“Then I will tell you all about it,” said Babbie, “for it is natural that you should want to know.”
He looked eagerly at her, and she had become serious and sad.
“I must tell you at the same time,” she said, “who I am, and then—then we shall never see each other any more.”
“Why should you tell me?” cried Gavin, his hand rising to stop her.
“Because you have a right to know,” she replied, now too much in earnest to see that she was yielding a point. “I should prefer not to tell you; yet there is nothing wrong in my secret, and it may make you think of me kindly23 when I have gone away.”
“Don’t speak in that way, Babbie, after you have forgiven me.”
“Did I hurt you? It was only because I know that you cannot trust me while I remain a mystery. I know 174 you would try to trust me, but doubts would cross your mind. Yes, they would; they are the shadows that mysteries cast. Who can believe a gypsy if the odds24 are against her?”
“I can,” said Gavin; but she shook her head, and so would he had he remembered three recent sermons of his own preaching.
“I had better tell you all,” she said, with an effort.
“It is my turn now to refuse to listen to you,” exclaimed Gavin, who was only a chivalrous25 boy. “Babbie, I should like to hear your story, but until you want to tell it to me I will not listen to it. I have faith in your honour, and that is sufficient.”
It was boyish, but I am glad Gavin said it; and now Babbie admired something in him that deserved admiration26. His faith, no doubt, made her a better woman.
“I admit that I would rather tell you nothing just now,” she said, gratefully. “You are sure you will never say again that you don’t understand me?”
“Quite sure,” said Gavin, bravely. “And by-and-by you will offer to tell me of your free will?”
“Oh, don’t let us think of the future,” answered Babbie. “Let us be happy for the moment.”
This had been the Egyptian’s philosophy always, but it was ill-suited for Auld27 Licht ministers, as one of them was presently to discover.
“I want to make one confession28, though,” Babbie continued, almost reluctantly. “When you were so nasty a little while ago, I didn’t go back to Nanny’s. I stood watching you from behind a tree, and then, for an excuse to come back, I—I poured out the water. Yes, and I told you another lie. I really came back to admit that it was all my fault, if I could not get you to say that it was yours. I am so glad you gave in first.”
She was very near him, and the tears had not yet dried on her eyes. They were laughing eyes, eyes in 175 distress29, imploring30 eyes. Her pale face, smiling, sad, dimpled, yet entreating31 forgiveness, was the one prominent thing in the world to him just then. He wanted to kiss her. He would have done it as soon as her eyes rested on his, but she continued without regarding him—
“How mean that sounds! Oh, if I were a man I should wish to be everything that I am not, and nothing that I am. I should scorn to be a liar32, I should choose to be open in all things, I should try to fight the world honestly. But I am only a woman, and so—well, that is the kind of man I should like to marry.”
“A minister may be all these things,” said Gavin, breathlessly.
“The man I could love,” Babbie went on, not heeding33 him, almost forgetting that he was there, “must not spend his days in idleness as the men I know do.”
“I do not.”
“All ministers are.”
“Who makes his influence felt.”
“Assuredly.”
“And takes the side of the weak against the strong, even though the strong be in the right.”
“Always my tendency.”
“Of his session.”
“Of the world. He must understand me.”
“I do.”
“And be my master.”
“It would be weakness.”
“But compel me to do his bidding; yes, even thrash me if——”
176
“If you won’t listen to reason. Babbie,” cried Gavin, “I am that man!”
Here the inventory37 abruptly38 ended, and these two people found themselves staring at each other, as if of a sudden they had heard something dreadful. I do not know how long they stood thus, motionless and horrified39. I cannot tell even which stirred first. All I know is that almost simultaneously40 they turned from each other and hurried out of the wood in opposite directions.
点击收听单词发音
1 impervious | |
adj.不能渗透的,不能穿过的,不易伤害的 | |
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2 mechanism | |
n.机械装置;机构,结构 | |
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3 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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4 brink | |
n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘,边沿 | |
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5 malady | |
n.病,疾病(通常做比喻) | |
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6 guilt | |
n.犯罪;内疚;过失,罪责 | |
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7 wilful | |
adj.任性的,故意的 | |
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8 denseness | |
稠密,密集,浓厚; 稠度 | |
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9 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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10 brutally | |
adv.残忍地,野蛮地,冷酷无情地 | |
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11 repentance | |
n.懊悔 | |
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12 presumption | |
n.推测,可能性,冒昧,放肆,[法律]推定 | |
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13 brute | |
n.野兽,兽性 | |
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14 loathed | |
v.憎恨,厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 );极不喜欢 | |
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15 sobbed | |
哭泣,啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 ); 哭诉,呜咽地说 | |
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16 faltered | |
(嗓音)颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 ); 支吾其词; 蹒跚; 摇晃 | |
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17 lout | |
n.粗鄙的人;举止粗鲁的人 | |
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18 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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19 unreasonable | |
adj.不讲道理的,不合情理的,过度的 | |
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20 bullies | |
n.欺凌弱小者, 开球 vt.恐吓, 威胁, 欺负 | |
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21 bully | |
n.恃强欺弱者,小流氓;vt.威胁,欺侮 | |
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22 displeased | |
a.不快的 | |
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23 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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24 odds | |
n.让步,机率,可能性,比率;胜败优劣之别 | |
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25 chivalrous | |
adj.武士精神的;对女人彬彬有礼的 | |
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26 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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27 auld | |
adj.老的,旧的 | |
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28 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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29 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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30 imploring | |
恳求的,哀求的 | |
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31 entreating | |
恳求,乞求( entreat的现在分词 ) | |
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32 liar | |
n.说谎的人 | |
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33 heeding | |
v.听某人的劝告,听从( heed的现在分词 ) | |
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34 defiance | |
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗 | |
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35 lawful | |
adj.法律许可的,守法的,合法的 | |
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36 coaxing | |
v.哄,用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 );巧言骗取;哄劝,劝诱;“锻炼”效应 | |
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37 inventory | |
n.详细目录,存货清单 | |
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38 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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39 horrified | |
a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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40 simultaneously | |
adv.同时发生地,同时进行地 | |
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