The evening was too beautiful, and too full of the sense of fate, for sleep to be possible, and long after George had finally said “All the same, I think I’ll turn in,” his father sat on, listening to the 40gradual subsidence of the traffic, and watching the night widen above Paris.
As he sat there, discouragement overcame him. His last plan, his plan for getting George finally and completely over to his side, was going to fail as all his other plans had failed. If there were war there would be no more portraits to paint, and his vision of wealth would vanish as visions of love and happiness and comradeship had one by one faded away. Nothing had ever succeeded with him but the thing he had in some moods set least store by, the dogged achievement of his brush; and just as that was about to assure his happiness, here was this horrible world-catastrophe threatening to fall across his path.
His misfortune had been that he could neither get on easily with people nor live without them; could never wholly isolate1 himself in his art, nor yet resign himself to any permanent human communion that left it out, or, worse still, dragged it in irrelevantly2. He had tried both kinds, and on the whole preferred the first. His marriage, his stupid ill-fated marriage, had after all not been the most disenchanting of his adventures, because Julia Ambrose, when she married him, had made no pretense3 of espousing4 his art.
He had seen her first in the tumble-down Venetian palace where she lived with her bachelor uncle, old Horace Ambrose, who dabbled5 in bric-a-brac and cultivated a guileless Bohemianism. Campton, looking 41back, could still understand why, to a youth fresh from Utica, at odds6 with his father, unwilling7 to go into the family business, and strangling with violent unexpressed ideas on art and the universe, marriage with Julia Ambrose had seemed so perfect a solution. She had been brought up abroad by her parents, a drifting and impecunious8 American couple; and after their deaths, within a few months of each other, her education had been completed, at her uncle’s expense, in a fashionable Parisian convent. Thence she had been transplanted at nineteen to his Venetian household, and all the ideas that most terrified and scandalized Campton’s family were part of the only air she had breathed. She had never intentionally9 feigned10 an exaggerated interest in his ambitions. But her bringing-up made her regard them as natural; she knew what he was aiming at, though she had never understood his reasons for trying. The jargon11 of art was merely one of her many languages; but she talked it so fluently that he had taken it for her mother-tongue.
The only other girls he had known well were his sisters—earnest eye-glassed young women, whose one answer to all his problems was that he ought to come home. The idea of Europe had always been terrifying to them, and indeed to his whole family, since the extraordinary misadventure whereby, as the result of a protracted12 diligence journey over bad roads, of a violent thunderstorm, and a delayed steamer, Campton 42had been born in Paris instead of Utica. Mrs. Campton the elder had taken the warning to heart, and never again left her native soil; but the sisters, safely and properly brought into the world in their own city and State, had always felt that Campton’s persistent13 yearnings for Europe, and his inexplicable14 detachment from Utica and the Mangle15, were mysteriously due to the accident of their mother’s premature16 confinement17.
Compared with the admonitions of these domestic censors18, Miss Ambrose’s innocent conversation was as seductive as the tangles19 of Neæra’s hair, and it used to be a joke between them (one of the few he had ever been able to make her see) that he, the raw up-Stater, was Parisian born, while she, the glass and pattern of worldly knowledge, had seen the light in the pure atmosphere of Madison Avenue.
Through her, in due course, he came to know another girl, a queer abrupt20 young American, already an old maid at twenty-two, and in open revolt against her family for reasons not unlike his own. Adele Anthony had come abroad to keep house for a worthless “artistic21” brother, who was preparing to be a sculptor22 by prolonged sessions in Anglo-American bars and the lobbies of music-halls. When he finally went under, and was shipped home, Miss Anthony stayed on in Paris, ashamed, as she told Campton, to go back and face the righteous triumph of a family connection who had unanimously disbelieved in the possibility of making 43Bill Anthony into a sculptor, and in the wisdom of his sister’s staking her small means on the venture.
“Somehow, behind it all, I was right, and they were wrong; but to do anything with poor Bill I ought to have been able to begin two or three generations back,” she confessed.
Miss Anthony had many friends in Paris, of whom Julia Ambrose was the most admired; and she had assisted sympathizingly (if not enthusiastically) at Campton’s wooing of Julia, and their hasty marriage. Her only note of warning had been the reminder23 that Julia had always been poor, and had always lived as if she were rich; and that was silenced by Campton’s rejoinder that the Magic Mangle, to which the Campton prosperity was due, was some day going to make him rich, though he had always lived as if he were poor.
“Well—you’d better not, any longer,” Adele sharply advised; and he laughed, and promised to go out and buy a new hat. In truth, careless of comfort as he was, he adored luxury in women, and was resolved to let his wife ruin him if she did it handsomely enough. Doubtless she might have, had fate given her time; but soon after their marriage old Mr. Campton died, and it was found that a trusted manager had so invested the profits of the Mangle that the heirs inherited only a series of law-suits.
John Campton, henceforth, was merely the unsuccessful 44son of a ruined manufacturer; painting became a luxury he could no longer afford, and his mother and sisters besought24 him to come back and take over what was left of the business. It seemed so clearly his duty that, with anguish25 of soul, he prepared to go; but Julia, on being consulted, developed a sudden passion for art and poverty.
“We’d have to live in Utica—for some years at any rate?”
“Well, yes, no doubt——” They faced the fact desolately26.
“They’d much better look out for another manager. What do you know about business? Since you’ve taken up painting you’d better try to make a success of that,” she advised him; and he was too much of the same mind not to agree.
It was not long before George’s birth, and they were fully27 resolved to go home for the event, and thus spare their hoped for heir the inconvenience of coming into the world, like his father, in a foreign country. But now this was not to be thought of, and the eventual28 inconvenience to George was lost sight of by his progenitors29 in the contemplation of nearer problems.
For a few years their life dragged along shabbily and depressingly. Now that Campton’s painting was no longer an amateur’s hobby but a domestic obligation, Julia thought it her duty to interest herself in 45it; and her only idea of doing so was by means of what she called “relations,” using the word in its French and diplomatic sense.
She was convinced that her husband’s lack of success was due to Beausite’s blighting30 epigram, and to Campton’s subsequent resolve to strike out for himself. “It’s a great mistake to try to be original till people have got used to you,” she said, with the shrewdness that sometimes startled him. “If you’d only been civil to Beausite he would have ended by taking you up, and then you could have painted as queerly as you liked.”
Beausite, by this time, had succumbed32 to the honours which lie in wait for such talents, and in his starred and titled maturity33 his earlier dread34 of rivals had given way to a prudent35 benevolence36. Young artists were always welcome at the receptions he gave in his sumptuous37 hotel of the Avenue du Bois. Those who threatened to be rivals were even invited to dine; and Julia was justified38 in triumphing when such an invitation finally rewarded her efforts.
Campton, with a laugh, threw the card into the stove.
“If you’d only understand that that’s not the way,” he said.
“What is, then?”
“Why, letting all that lot see what unutterable rubbish one thinks them!”
46“I should have thought you’d tried that long enough,” she said with pale lips; but he answered jovially39 that it never palled40 on him.
She was bitterly offended; but she knew Campton by this time, and was not a woman to waste herself in vain resentment41. She simply suggested that since he would not profit by Beausite’s advance the only alternative was to try to get orders for portraits; and though at that stage he was not in the mood for portrait-painting, he made an honest attempt to satisfy her. She began, of course, by sitting for him. She sat again and again; but, lovely as she was, he was not inspired, and one day, in sheer self-defence, he blurted42 out that she was not paintable. She never forgot the epithet43, and it loomed44 large in their subsequent recriminations.
Adele Anthony—it was just like her—gave him his first order, and she did prove paintable. Campton made a success of her long crooked45 pink-nosed face; but she didn’t perceive it (she had wanted something oval, with tulle, and a rose in a taper46 hand), and after heroically facing the picture for six months she hid it away in an attic47, whence, a year or so before the date of the artist’s present musings, it had been fished out as an “early Campton,” to be exhibited half a dozen times, and have articles written about it in the leading art reviews.
Adele’s picture acted as an awful warning to intending 47patrons, and after one or two attempts at depicting48 mistrustful friends Campton refused to constrain49 his muse50, and no more was said of portrait-painting. But life in Paris was growing too expensive. He persuaded Julia to try Spain, and they wandered about there for a year. She was not fault-finding, she did not complain, but she hated travelling, she could not eat things cooked in oil, and his pictures seemed to her to be growing more and more ugly and unsalable.
Finally they came one day to Ronda, after a trying sojourn51 at Cordova. In the train Julia had moaned a little at the mosquitoes of the previous night, and at the heat and dirt of the second-class compartment52; then, always conscious of the ill-breeding of fretfulness, she had bent53 her lovely head above her Tauchnitz. And it was then that Campton, looking out of the window to avoid her fatally familiar profile, had suddenly discovered another. It was that of a peasant girl in front of a small whitewashed54 house, under a white pergola hung with bunches of big red peppers. The house, which was close to the railway, was propped55 against an orange-coloured rock, and in the glare cast up from the red earth its walls looked as blue as snow in shadow. The girl was all blue-white too, from her cotton skirt to the kerchief knotted turban-wise above two folds of blue-black hair. Her round forehead and merry nose were relieved like a bronze medallion against the wall; and she stood with her hands on her hips56, laughing at 48a little pig asleep under a cork-tree, who lay on his side like a dog.
The vision filled the carriage-window and then vanished; but it remained so sharply impressed on Campton that even then he knew what was going to happen. He leaned back with a sense of relief, and forgot everything else.
The next morning he said to his wife: “There’s a little place up the line that I want to go back and paint. You don’t mind staying here a day or two, do you?”
She said she did not mind; it was what she always said; but he was somehow aware that this was the particular grievance57 she had always been waiting for. He did not care for that, or for anything but getting a seat in the diligence which started every morning for the village nearest the white house. On the way he remembered that he had left Julia only forty pesetas, but he did not care about that either.... He stayed a month, and when he returned to Ronda his wife had gone back to Paris, leaving a letter to say that the matter was in the hands of her lawyers.
“What did you do it for—I mean in that particular way? For goodness knows I understand all the rest,” Adele Anthony had once asked him, while the divorce proceedings58 were going on; and he had shaken his head, conscious that he could not explain.
It was a year or two later that he met the first person who did understand: a Russian lady who had heard 49the story, was curious to know him, and asked, one day, when their friendship had progressed, to see the sketches59 he had brought back from his fugue.
“Comme je vous comprends!” she had murmured, her grey eyes deep in his; but perceiving that she did not allude60 to the sketches, but to his sentimental61 adventure, Campton pushed the drawings out of sight, vexed62 with himself for having shown them.
He forgave the Russian lady her artistic obtuseness63 for the sake of her human comprehension. They had met at the loneliest moment of his life, when his art seemed to have failed him like everything else, and when the struggle to get possession of his son, which had been going on in the courts ever since the break with Julia, had finally been decided64 against him. His Russian friend consoled, amused and agitated65 him, and after a few years drifted out of his life as irresponsibly as she had drifted into it; and he found himself, at forty-five, a lonely thwarted66 man, as full as ever of faith in his own powers, but with little left in human nature or in opportunity. It was about this time that he heard that Julia was to marry again, and that his boy would have a stepfather.
He knew that even his own family thought it “the best thing that could happen.” They were tired of clubbing together to pay Julia’s alimony, and heaved a united sigh of relief when they learned that her second choice had fallen, not on the bankrupt “foreign Count” 50they had always dreaded67, but on the Paris partner of the famous bank of Bullard and Brant. Mr. Brant’s request that his wife’s alimony should be discontinued gave him a moral superiority which even Campton’s recent successes could not shake. It was felt that the request expressed the contempt of an income easily counted in seven figures for a pittance68 painfully screwed up to four; and the Camptons admired Mr. Brant much more for not needing their money than for refusing it.
Their attitude left John Campton without support in his struggle to keep a hold on his boy. His family sincerely thought George safer with the Brants than with his own father, and the father could advance to the contrary no arguments they would have understood. All the forces of order seemed leagued against him; and it was perhaps this fact that suddenly drove him into conformity69 with them. At any rate, from the day of Julia’s remarriage no other woman shared her former husband’s life. Campton settled down to the solitude70 of his dusty studio at Montmartre, and painted doggedly71, all his thoughts on George.
At this point in his reminiscences the bells of Sainte Clotilde rang out the half-hour after midnight, and Campton rose and went into the darkened sitting-room72.
The door into George’s room was open, and in the silence the father heard the boy’s calm breathing. A 51light from the bathroom cast its ray on the dressing-table, which was scattered73 with the contents of George’s pockets. Campton, dwelling74 with a new tenderness on everything that belonged to his son, noticed a smart antelope75 card-case (George had his mother’s weakness for Bond Street novelties), a wrist-watch, his studs, a bundle of bank-notes; and beside these a thumbed and dirty red book, the size of a large pocket-diary.
The father wondered what it was; then of a sudden he knew. He had once seen Mme. Lebel’s grandson pull just such a red book from his pocket as he was leaving for his “twenty-eight days” of military service; it was the livret militaire that every French citizen under forty-eight carries about with him.
Campton had never paid much attention to French military regulations: George’s service over, he had dismissed the matter from his mind, forgetting that his son was still a member of the French army, and as closely linked to the fortunes of France as the grandson of the concierge76 of Montmartre. Now it occurred to him that that little red book would answer the questions he had not dared to put; and stealing in, he possessed77 himself of it and carried it back to the sitting-room. There he sat down by the lamp and read.
First George’s name, his domicile, his rank as a maréchal des logis of dragoons, the number of his regiment78 and its base: all that was already familiar. But what was this on the next page?
52“In case of general mobilisation announced to the populations of France by public proclamations, or by notices posted in the streets, the bearer of this order is to rejoin his regiment at ——.
“He is to take with him provisions for one day.
“He is to present himself at the station of —— on the third day of mobilisation at 6 o’clock, and to take the train indicated by the station-master.
“The days of mobilisation are counted from 0 o’clock to 24 o’clock. The first day is that on which the order of mobilisation is published.”
Campton dropped the book and pressed his hands to his temples. “The days of mobilisation are counted from 0 o’clock to 24 o’clock. The first day is that on which the order of mobilisation is published.” Then, if France mobilised that day, George would start the second day after, at six in the morning. George might be going to leave him within forty-eight hours from that very moment!
Campton had always vaguely79 supposed that, some day or other, if war came, a telegram would call George to his base; it had never occurred to him that every detail of the boy’s military life had long since been regulated by the dread power which had him in its grasp.
He read the next paragraph: “The bearer will travel free of charge——” and thought with a grin how it would annoy Anderson Brant that the French government 53should presume to treat his stepson as if he could not pay his way. The plump bundle of bank-notes on the dressing-table seemed to look with ineffectual scorn at the red book that sojourned so democratically in the same pocket. And Campton, picturing George jammed into an overcrowded military train, on the plebeian80 wooden seat of a third-class compartment, grinned again, forgetful of his own anxiety in the vision of Brant’s exasperation81.
Ah, well, it wasn’t war yet, whatever they said!
He carried the red book back to the dressing-table. The light falling across the bed drew his eye to the young face on the pillow. George lay on his side, one arm above his head, the other laxly stretched along the bed. He had thrown off the blankets, and the sheet, clinging to his body, modelled his slim flank and legs as he lay in dreamless rest.
For a long time Campton stood gazing; then he stole back to the sitting-room, picked up a sketch-book and pencil and returned. He knew there was no danger of waking George, and he began to draw, eagerly but deliberately82, fascinated by the happy accident of the lighting31, and of the boy’s position.
“Like a statue of a young knight83 I’ve seen somewhere,” he said to himself, vexed and surprised that he, whose plastic memories were always so precise, should not remember where; and then his pencil stopped. What he had really thought was: “Like the 54effigy of a young knight”—though he had instinctively84 changed the word as it formed itself. He leaned in the doorway85, the sketch-book in hand, and continued to gaze at his son. It was the clinging sheet, no doubt, that gave him that look ... and the white glare of the electric burner.
If war came, that was just the way a boy might lie on a battle-field-or afterward86 in a hospital bed. Not his boy, thank heaven; but very probably his boy’s friends: hundreds and thousands of boys like his boy, the age of his boy, with a laugh like his boy’s.... The wicked waste of it! Well, that was what war meant ... what to-morrow might bring to millions of parents like himself.
He stiffened87 his shoulders, and opened the sketch-book again. What watery88 stuff was he made of, he wondered? Just because the boy lay as if he were posing for a tombstone!... What of Signorelli, who had sat at his dead son’s side and drawn89 him, tenderly, minutely, while the coffin90 waited?
Well, damn Signorelli—that was all! Campton threw down his book, turned out the sitting-room lights, and limped away to bed.
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1
isolate
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| vt.使孤立，隔离 | |
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irrelevantly
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| adv.不恰当地，不合适地；不相关地 | |
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pretense
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| n.矫饰，做作，借口 | |
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espousing
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| v.（决定）支持，拥护（目标、主张等）( espouse的现在分词 ) | |
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dabbled
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| v.涉猎( dabble的过去式和过去分词 )；涉足；浅尝；少量投资 | |
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odds
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| n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别 | |
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unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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impecunious
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| adj.不名一文的，贫穷的 | |
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intentionally
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| ad.故意地，有意地 | |
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feigned
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| a.假装的，不真诚的 | |
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jargon
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| n.术语，行话 | |
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protracted
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| adj.拖延的；延长的v.拖延“protract”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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persistent
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| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
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inexplicable
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| adj.无法解释的，难理解的 | |
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mangle
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| vt.乱砍，撕裂，破坏，毁损，损坏，轧布 | |
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premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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censors
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| 删剪（书籍、电影等中被认为犯忌、违反道德或政治上危险的内容）( censor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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tangles
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| （使）缠结， （使）乱作一团( tangle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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sculptor
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| n.雕刻家，雕刻家 | |
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reminder
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| n.提醒物，纪念品；暗示，提示 | |
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besought
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| v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的过去式和过去分词 )；(beseech的过去式与过去分词) | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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desolately
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| 荒凉地，寂寞地 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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eventual
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| adj.最后的，结局的，最终的 | |
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progenitors
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| n.祖先( progenitor的名词复数 )；先驱；前辈；原本 | |
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blighting
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| 使凋萎( blight的现在分词 )； 使颓丧； 损害； 妨害 | |
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lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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succumbed
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的过去式和过去分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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sumptuous
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| adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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jovially
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| adv.愉快地，高兴地 | |
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palled
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| v.（因过多或过久而）生厌，感到乏味，厌烦( pall的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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blurted
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| v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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epithet
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| n.（用于褒贬人物等的）表述形容词，修饰语 | |
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loomed
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| v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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45
crooked
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| adj.弯曲的；不诚实的，狡猾的，不正当的 | |
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taper
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| n.小蜡烛，尖细，渐弱；adj.尖细的；v.逐渐变小 | |
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47
attic
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| n.顶楼，屋顶室 | |
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48
depicting
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| 描绘，描画( depict的现在分词 )； 描述 | |
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constrain
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| vt.限制，约束；克制，抑制 | |
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50
muse
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| n.缪斯（希腊神话中的女神），创作灵感 | |
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sojourn
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| v./n.旅居，寄居；逗留 | |
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compartment
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| n.卧车包房，隔间；分隔的空间 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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whitewashed
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| 粉饰，美化，掩饰( whitewash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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propped
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| 支撑，支持，维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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sketches
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| n.草图( sketch的名词复数 )；素描；速写；梗概 | |
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allude
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| v.提及，暗指 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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obtuseness
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| 感觉迟钝 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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thwarted
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| 阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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pittance
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| n.微薄的薪水，少量 | |
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conformity
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| n.一致，遵从，顺从 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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doggedly
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| adv.顽强地，固执地 | |
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sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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dwelling
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| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
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antelope
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| n.羚羊；羚羊皮 | |
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concierge
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| n.管理员；门房 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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plebeian
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| adj.粗俗的；平民的；n.平民；庶民 | |
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exasperation
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| n.愤慨 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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knight
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| n.骑士，武士；爵士 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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87
stiffened
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| 加强的 | |
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88
watery
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| adj.有水的，水汪汪的；湿的，湿润的 | |
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89
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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coffin
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| n.棺材，灵柩 | |
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