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Chapter 14 The Way Back
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That walk from her home to the little white cottage next door to the old house was the most eventful journey that Helen Ward1 ever made. She felt this in a way at the time, but she could not know to what end her sudden impulse to visit again the place of her girlhood would eventually lead.

As she made her way down the hill toward that tree-arched street, she realized a little how far the years had carried her from the old house. She had many vivid and delightful2 memories of that world of her childhood, it is true, but the world to which her father's material success had removed her in the years of her ripening3 womanhood had come to claim her so wholly that she had never once gone back. She had looked back at first with troubled longing4. But Adam Ward's determined5 efforts to make the separation of the two families final and complete, together with the ever-increasing bitterness of his strange hatred6 for his old workman friend, had effectually prevented her from any attempt at a continuation of the old relationship. In time, even the thought of taking so much as a single step toward the intimacies7 from which she had come so far, had ceased to occur to her. And now, suddenly, without plan or premeditation, she was on her way actually to touch again, if only for a few moments, the lives that had been so large a part of the simple, joyous8 life which she had known once, but which was so foreign to her now.

Nor was it at all clear to her why she was going or what she would do. As she had observed with increasing interest the change in her brother's attitude toward the pleasures that had claimed him so wholly before the war, she had wondered often at his happy contentment in contrast to her own restless and dissatisfied spirit. McIver's words had suddenly forced one fact upon her with startling clearness: John, through his work in the Mill, his association with Captain Charlie and his visits to the Martin home, was actually living again in the atmosphere of that world which she felt they had left so far behind. It was as though her brother had already gone back.

And McIver's challenging question, "What do you know about Mary Martin?" had raised in her mind a doubt, not of her brother and his relationship to these old friends of their childhood, but of herself and all the relationships that made her present life such a contrast to her life in the old house.

With her mind and heart so full of doubts and questionings, she turned into the familiar street and saw her brother's car still before the Martin home.

As she went on, a feeling of strange eagerness possessed9 her. Her face glowed with warm color, her eyes shone with glad anticipation10, her heart beat more quickly. As one returning to well loved home scenes after many years in a foreign land, the daughter of Adam Ward went down the street toward the place where she was born. In front of the old house she stopped. The color went from her cheeks--the brightness from her eyes.

In her swiftly moving automobile11, nearly always with gay companions, Helen had sometimes passed the old house and had noticed with momentary12 concern its neglected appearance. But these fleeting13 glimpses had been so quickly forgotten that the place was most real to her as she saw it in her memories. But now, as she stood there alone, in the mood that had brought her to the spot, the real significance of the ruin struck her with appalling14 force.

Those rooms with their shattered windowpanes, their bare, rotting casements15 and sagging16, broken shutters17 appealed to her in the mute eloquence18 of their empty loneliness for the joyous life that once had filled them. The weed-grown yard, the tumbledown fence, the dilapidated porch, and even the chimneys that were crumbling19 and ragged20 against the sky, cried out to her in sorrowful reproach. A rushing flood of home memories filled her eyes with hot tears. With the empty loneliness of the old house in her heart, she went blindly on to the little cottage next door. There was no thought as to how she would explain her unusual presence there. She did not, herself, really know clearly why she had come.

Timidly she paused at the white gate. There was no one in the yard to bid her welcome. As one in a dream, she passed softly into the yard. She was trembling now as one on the threshold of a great adventure. What was it? What did it mean--her coming there?

Wonderingly she looked about the little yard with its bit of lawn--at the big shade tree--the flowers--it was all just as she had always known it. Where were they?--John and Mary and Charlie? Why was there no sound of their voices? Her cheeks were suddenly hot with color. What if Charlie Martin should suddenly appear! As one awakened21 from strange dreams to a familiar home scene, Helen Ward was all at once back in those days of her girlhood. She had come as she had come so many, many times from the old house next door, to find her brother and their friends. Her heart was eager with the shy eagerness of a maid for the expected presence of her first boyish lover.

* * * * *

Then Peter Martin, coming around the house from the garden, saw her standing22 there.

The old workman stopped, as if at the sight of an apparition23. Mechanically he placed the garden tool he was carrying against the corner of the house; deliberately24 he knocked the ashes from his pipe and placed it methodically in his pocket.

With a little cry, Helen ran to him, her hands outstretched, "Uncle Pete!"

The old workman caught her and for a few moments she clung to him, half laughing, half crying, while they both, in the genuineness of their affection, forgot the years.

"Is it really you, Helen?" he said, at last, and she saw a suspicious moisture in the kindly25 eyes. "Have you really come back to see the old man after all these years?"

Then, with quick anxiety, he asked, "But what is the matter, child? Your father--your mother--are they all right? Is there anything wrong at your home up on the hill yonder?"

His very natural inquiry26 broke the spell and placed her instantly back in the world to which she now belonged. Drawing away from him, she returned, with characteristic calmness, "Oh, no, Uncle Pete, father and mother are both very well indeed. But why should you think there must be something wrong, simply because I chanced to call?"

The old workman was clearly confused at this sudden change in her manner. He had welcomed the girl--the Helen of the old house--this self-possessed young woman was quite a different person. She was the princess lady of little Maggie and Bobby Whaley's acquaintance, who sometimes condescended27 to recognize him with a cool little nod as her big automobile passed him swiftly by.

Pete Martin could not know, as the Interpreter would have known, how at that very moment the Helen of the old house and the princess lady were struggling for supremacy28.

Removing his hat and handling it awkwardly, he said, with a touch of dignity in his tone and manner in spite of his embarrassment29, "I'm glad the folks are well, Helen. Won't you take a seat and rest yourself?"

As they went toward the chairs in the shade of the tree, he added, "It is a long time since we have seen you in this part of town--walking, I mean."

The Helen of the old house wanted to answer--she longed to cry out in the fullness of her heart some of the things that were demanding expression, but it was the princess lady who answered, "I saw my brother's car here and thought perhaps he would let me ride home with him."

The old workman was studying her now with kind but frankly30 understanding eyes. "John and Mary have gone to see some of the folks that she is looking after in the Flats," he said, slowly. "They'll be back any minute now, I should think."

She did not know what to reply to this. There were so many things she wanted to know--so many things that she felt she must know. But she felt herself forced to answer with the mere31 commonplace, "You are all well, I suppose, Uncle Pete?"

"Fine, thank you," he answered. "Mary is always busy with her housework and her flowers and the poor sick folks she's always a-looking after--just like her mother, if you remember. Charlie, he's working late to-day--some breakdown32 or something that's keeping him overtime33. That brother of yours is a fine manager, Miss Helen, and," he added, with a faint note of something in his voice that brought a touch of color to her cheeks, "a finer man."

Again she felt the crowding rush of those questions she wanted to ask, but she only said, with an air of calm indifference34, "John has changed so since his return from France--in many ways he seems like a different man."

"As for that," he replied, "the war has changed most people in one way or another. It was bound to. Everybody talks about getting back to normal again, but as I see it there'll be no getting back ever to what used to be normal before the war started."

She looked at him with sudden, intense interest. "How has it so changed every one, Uncle Pete? Why can't people be just as they were before it happened? The change in business conditions and all that, I can understand, but why should it make any difference to--well, to me, for example?"

The old workman answered, slowly, "The people are thinking deeper and feeling deeper. They're more human, as you might say. And I've noticed generally that the way the people think and feel is at the bottom of everything. It's just like the Interpreter says, 'You can't change the minds and hearts of folks without changing what they do.' Everybody ain't changed, of course, but so many of them have that the rest will be bound to take some notice or feel mighty35 lonesome from now on."

Helen was about to reply when the old workman interrupted her with, "There come John and Mary now."

The two coming along the street walk to the gate did not at first notice those who were watching them with such interest. John was carrying a market basket and talking earnestly to his companion, whose face was upturned to his with eager interest. At the gate they paused a moment while the man, with his hand on the latch36, finished whatever it was that he was saying. And Helen, with a little throb37 of something very much like envy in her heart, saw the light of happiness in the eyes of the young woman who through all the years of their girlhood had been her inseparable playmate and loyal friend.

When John finally opened the gate for her to pass, Mary was laughing, and the clear ringing gladness in her voice brought a faint smile of sympathy even to the face of the now coolly conventional daughter of Adam Ward.

Mary's laughter was suddenly checked; the happiness fled from her face. With a little gesture of almost appealing fear she put her hand on her companion's arm.

In the same instant John saw and stood motionless, his face blank with amazement38. Then, "Helen! What in the world are you doing here?"

John Ward never realized all that those simple words carried to the three who heard him. Peter Martin's face was grave and thoughtful. Mary blushed in painful embarrassment. His sister, calm and self-possessed, came toward them, smiling graciously.

"I saw your roadster and thought I might ride home with you. Uncle Pete and I have been having a lovely little visit. It is perfectly39 charming to see you again like this, Mary. Your flowers are beautiful as ever, aren't they?"

"But, Helen, how do you happen to be wandering about in this neighborhood alone and without your car?" demanded the still bewildered John.

"Don't be silly," she laughed. "I was out for a walk--that is all. I do walk sometimes, you know." She turned to Mary. "Really, to hear this brother of mine, one would think me a helpless invalid40 and this part of Millsburgh a very dangerous community."

Mary forced a smile, but the light in her eyes was not the light of happiness and her cheeks were still a burning red.

"Don't you think we should go now, John?" suggested Helen.

The helpless John looked from Mary to her father appealingly.

"Better sit down awhile," Pete offered, awkwardly.

John looked at his watch. "I suppose we really ought to go." To Mary he added, "Will you please tell Charlie that I will see him to-morrow?"

She bowed gravely.

Then the formal parting words were spoken, and Helen and John were seated in the car. Mary had moved aside from the gate and stood now very still among her flowers.

* * * * *

Before John had shifted the gears of his machine to high, he heard a sound that caused him to look quickly at his sister. Little Maggie's princess lady was sobbing41 like a child.

"Why, Helen, what in the world--"

She interrupted him. "Please, John--please, don't--don't take me home now. I--I--Let us stop here at the old house for a few minutes. I--I can't go just yet."

Without a word John Ward turned into the curb42. Tenderly he helped her to the ground. Reverently43 he lifted aside the broken-down gate and led her through the tangle44 of tall grass and weeds that had almost obliterated45 the walk to the front porch. Over the rotting steps and across the trembling porch he helped her with gentle care. Very softly he pushed open the sagging door.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 ward LhbwY     
n.守卫,监护,病房,行政区,由监护人或法院保护的人(尤指儿童);vt.守护,躲开
参考例句:
  • The hospital has a medical ward and a surgical ward.这家医院有内科病房和外科病房。
  • During the evening picnic,I'll carry a torch to ward off the bugs.傍晚野餐时,我要点根火把,抵挡蚊虫。
2 delightful 6xzxT     
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的
参考例句:
  • We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
  • Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。
3 ripening 5dd8bc8ecf0afaf8c375591e7d121c56     
v.成熟,使熟( ripen的现在分词 );熟化;熟成
参考例句:
  • The corn is blossoming [ripening]. 玉米正在开花[成熟]。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • When the summer crop is ripening, the autumn crop has to be sowed. 夏季作物成熟时,就得播种秋季作物。 来自《简明英汉词典》
4 longing 98bzd     
n.(for)渴望
参考例句:
  • Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
  • His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。
5 determined duszmP     
adj.坚定的;有决心的
参考例句:
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
6 hatred T5Gyg     
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨
参考例句:
  • He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我。
  • The old man was seized with burning hatred for the fascists.老人对法西斯主义者充满了仇恨。
7 intimacies 9fa125f68d20eba1de1ddb9d215b31cd     
亲密( intimacy的名词复数 ); 密切; 亲昵的言行; 性行为
参考例句:
  • He is exchanging intimacies with his friends. 他正在和密友们亲切地交谈。
  • The stiffness of the meeting soon gave way before their popular manners and more diffused intimacies. 他们的洒脱不羁和亲密气氛的增加很快驱散了会场上的拘谨。
8 joyous d3sxB     
adj.充满快乐的;令人高兴的
参考例句:
  • The lively dance heightened the joyous atmosphere of the scene.轻快的舞蹈给这场戏渲染了欢乐气氛。
  • They conveyed the joyous news to us soon.他们把这一佳音很快地传递给我们。
9 possessed xuyyQ     
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的
参考例句:
  • He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
  • He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。
10 anticipation iMTyh     
n.预期,预料,期望
参考例句:
  • We waited at the station in anticipation of her arrival.我们在车站等着,期待她的到来。
  • The animals grew restless as if in anticipation of an earthquake.各种动物都变得焦躁不安,像是感到了地震即将发生。
11 automobile rP1yv     
n.汽车,机动车
参考例句:
  • He is repairing the brake lever of an automobile.他正在修理汽车的刹车杆。
  • The automobile slowed down to go around the curves in the road.汽车在路上转弯时放慢了速度。
12 momentary hj3ya     
adj.片刻的,瞬息的;短暂的
参考例句:
  • We are in momentary expectation of the arrival of you.我们无时无刻不在盼望你的到来。
  • I caught a momentary glimpse of them.我瞥了他们一眼。
13 fleeting k7zyS     
adj.短暂的,飞逝的
参考例句:
  • The girls caught only a fleeting glimpse of the driver.女孩们只匆匆瞥了一眼司机。
  • Knowing the life fleeting,she set herself to enjoy if as best as she could.她知道这种日子转瞬即逝,于是让自已尽情地享受。
14 appalling iNwz9     
adj.骇人听闻的,令人震惊的,可怕的
参考例句:
  • The search was hampered by appalling weather conditions.恶劣的天气妨碍了搜寻工作。
  • Nothing can extenuate such appalling behaviour.这种骇人听闻的行径罪无可恕。
15 casements 1de92bd877da279be5126d60d8036077     
n.窗扉( casement的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • There are two casements in this room. 这间屋子有两扇窗户。 来自互联网
  • The rain pattered against the casements; the bells tolled for church with a melancholy sound. 雨点噼噼啪啪地打在窗子上;教堂里传来沉重的钟声,召唤人们去做礼拜。 来自互联网
16 sagging 2cd7acc35feffadbb3241d569f4364b2     
下垂[沉,陷],松垂,垂度
参考例句:
  • The morale of the enemy troops is continuously sagging. 敌军的士气不断低落。
  • We are sagging south. 我们的船正离开航线向南漂流。
17 shutters 74d48a88b636ca064333022eb3458e1f     
百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 ); (照相机的)快门
参考例句:
  • The shop-front is fitted with rolling shutters. 那商店的店门装有卷门。
  • The shutters thumped the wall in the wind. 在风中百叶窗砰砰地碰在墙上。
18 eloquence 6mVyM     
n.雄辩;口才,修辞
参考例句:
  • I am afraid my eloquence did not avail against the facts.恐怕我的雄辩也无补于事实了。
  • The people were charmed by his eloquence.人们被他的口才迷住了。
19 crumbling Pyaxy     
adj.摇摇欲坠的
参考例句:
  • an old house with crumbling plaster and a leaking roof 一所灰泥剥落、屋顶漏水的老房子
  • The boat was tied up alongside a crumbling limestone jetty. 这条船停泊在一个摇摇欲坠的石灰岩码头边。
20 ragged KC0y8     
adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的
参考例句:
  • A ragged shout went up from the small crowd.这一小群人发出了刺耳的喊叫。
  • Ragged clothing infers poverty.破衣烂衫意味着贫穷。
21 awakened de71059d0b3cd8a1de21151c9166f9f0     
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到
参考例句:
  • She awakened to the sound of birds singing. 她醒来听到鸟的叫声。
  • The public has been awakened to the full horror of the situation. 公众完全意识到了这一状况的可怕程度。 来自《简明英汉词典》
22 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
23 apparition rM3yR     
n.幽灵,神奇的现象
参考例句:
  • He saw the apparition of his dead wife.他看见了他亡妻的幽灵。
  • But the terror of this new apparition brought me to a stand.这新出现的幽灵吓得我站在那里一动也不敢动。
24 deliberately Gulzvq     
adv.审慎地;蓄意地;故意地
参考例句:
  • The girl gave the show away deliberately.女孩故意泄露秘密。
  • They deliberately shifted off the argument.他们故意回避这个论点。
25 kindly tpUzhQ     
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地
参考例句:
  • Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
  • A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。
26 inquiry nbgzF     
n.打听,询问,调查,查问
参考例句:
  • Many parents have been pressing for an inquiry into the problem.许多家长迫切要求调查这个问题。
  • The field of inquiry has narrowed down to five persons.调查的范围已经缩小到只剩5个人了。
27 condescended 6a4524ede64ac055dc5095ccadbc49cd     
屈尊,俯就( condescend的过去式和过去分词 ); 故意表示和蔼可亲
参考例句:
  • We had to wait almost an hour before he condescended to see us. 我们等了几乎一小时他才屈尊大驾来见我们。
  • The king condescended to take advice from his servants. 国王屈驾向仆人征求意见。
28 supremacy 3Hzzd     
n.至上;至高权力
参考例句:
  • No one could challenge her supremacy in gymnastics.她是最优秀的体操运动员,无人能胜过她。
  • Theoretically,she holds supremacy as the head of the state.从理论上说,她作为国家的最高元首拥有至高无上的权力。
29 embarrassment fj9z8     
n.尴尬;使人为难的人(事物);障碍;窘迫
参考例句:
  • She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
  • Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。
30 frankly fsXzcf     
adv.坦白地,直率地;坦率地说
参考例句:
  • To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说,我一点也不赞成这个主意。
  • Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说,我不反对改革。
31 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
32 breakdown cS0yx     
n.垮,衰竭;损坏,故障,倒塌
参考例句:
  • She suffered a nervous breakdown.她患神经衰弱。
  • The plane had a breakdown in the air,but it was fortunately removed by the ace pilot.飞机在空中发生了故障,但幸运的是被王牌驾驶员排除了。
33 overtime aKqxn     
adj.超时的,加班的;adv.加班地
参考例句:
  • They are working overtime to finish the work.为了完成任务他们正在加班加点地工作。
  • He was paid for the overtime he worked.他领到了加班费。
34 indifference k8DxO     
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎
参考例句:
  • I was disappointed by his indifference more than somewhat.他的漠不关心使我很失望。
  • He feigned indifference to criticism of his work.他假装毫不在意别人批评他的作品。
35 mighty YDWxl     
adj.强有力的;巨大的
参考例句:
  • A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
  • The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。
36 latch g2wxS     
n.门闩,窗闩;弹簧锁
参考例句:
  • She laid her hand on the latch of the door.她把手放在门闩上。
  • The repairman installed an iron latch on the door.修理工在门上安了铁门闩。
37 throb aIrzV     
v.震颤,颤动;(急速强烈地)跳动,搏动
参考例句:
  • She felt her heart give a great throb.她感到自己的心怦地跳了一下。
  • The drums seemed to throb in his ears.阵阵鼓声彷佛在他耳边震响。
38 amazement 7zlzBK     
n.惊奇,惊讶
参考例句:
  • All those around him looked at him with amazement.周围的人都对他投射出惊异的眼光。
  • He looked at me in blank amazement.他带着迷茫惊诧的神情望着我。
39 perfectly 8Mzxb     
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
40 invalid V4Oxh     
n.病人,伤残人;adj.有病的,伤残的;无效的
参考例句:
  • He will visit an invalid.他将要去看望一个病人。
  • A passport that is out of date is invalid.护照过期是无效的。
41 sobbing df75b14f92e64fc9e1d7eaf6dcfc083a     
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的
参考例句:
  • I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
  • Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。
42 curb LmRyy     
n.场外证券市场,场外交易;vt.制止,抑制
参考例句:
  • I could not curb my anger.我按捺不住我的愤怒。
  • You must curb your daughter when you are in church.你在教堂时必须管住你的女儿。
43 reverently FjPzwr     
adv.虔诚地
参考例句:
  • He gazed reverently at the handiwork. 他满怀敬意地凝视着这件手工艺品。
  • Pork gazed at it reverently and slowly delight spread over his face. 波克怀着愉快的心情看着这只表,脸上慢慢显出十分崇敬的神色。
44 tangle yIQzn     
n.纠缠;缠结;混乱;v.(使)缠绕;变乱
参考例句:
  • I shouldn't tangle with Peter.He is bigger than me.我不应该与彼特吵架。他的块头比我大。
  • If I were you, I wouldn't tangle with them.我要是你,我就不跟他们争吵。
45 obliterated 5b21c854b61847047948152f774a0c94     
v.除去( obliterate的过去式和过去分词 );涂去;擦掉;彻底破坏或毁灭
参考例句:
  • The building was completely obliterated by the bomb. 炸弹把那座建筑物彻底摧毁了。
  • He began to drink, drank himself to intoxication, till he slept obliterated. 他一直喝,喝到他快要迷糊地睡着了。 来自《简明英汉词典》


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